(theme song)
Episode begins in the Butterfly Castle dining hall, on a shot of a portrait of Star and her parents. Camera pans down to King and Queen Butterfly sitting across from each other at the dinner table.
King Butterfly [eating noisily] Honey, you've got to try the jumbo megafowl. [eating and smacking lips] It's so moist. It just melts in your mouth. Mmmm... You haven't touched a thing. What's wrong?
Queen Butterfly plays with the peas on her dinner plate with her fork.
Queen Butterfly [sighs] I just can't stop thinking about what happened to Glossaryck.
King Butterfly So? He's gone. Good riddance, I say. Little guy always creeped me out.
Queen Butterfly But Star is all alone on Earth now at a crucial point in her training. We may need to consider... bringing her back to Mewni.
King Butterfly Whaaaaat...? Oh, but she's in the middle of school. We can't disrupt her life like that.
Queen Butterfly Then that leaves us no choice but to have her evaluated.
Queen Butterfly takes out a small perfume bottle and places it on the table in front of her husband. King Butterfly's eyes widen. He stands up and starts stacking food and plates in his hands.
King Butterfly Nope, nope, nope, nope-nope, nooooooope. Nope, nope.
Queen Butterfly What other options do we have?
King Butterfly But I can't stand that stupid...! [sighs, bites megafowl] I say nope! [walks away] No-ho-hope!
Queen Butterfly removes the top of the perfume bottle, and a black cloud of mist pours out. It swirls through the air over Queen Butterfly's head before flying out of the dining hall. As it passes King Butterfly in the corridor, it snatches up all of his food.
King Butterfly Wha...? [growls and goes to the window] Curse you, you wretched monster!
The black cloud flies out of the castle and into the distance. Cut to Star's bedroom at the Diaz Household; a teddy bear with an eyepatch and Cockney accent sits in a pile of books, clothes, and weapons.
Teddy bear No, no, no, wait! Can we talk about this? I don't want to go in the secrets closet!
Star pushes the teddy bear and pile of stuff into her secrets closet and closes the door.
Star Butterfly Why is everything such a mess?
The teddy bear sticks its paws through the slats in the closet door.
Teddy bear No, Star! No, no, no!
Something inside the closet growls and drags the teddy bear in. Star shoves more of her stuff under her bed. With her magic wand, Star summons the beanbag monster.
Beanbag Oh, hey, Star—
Star shoves more of her stuff in Beanbag's mouth.
Star Time for you to hide now.
The junk on Star's bed attracts flies, and something under it has eyes.
Star Mystic Room Suck Transform!
Star creates a black hole on the ceiling to suck in her bed. Marco enters the room with an armful of food.
Marco Diaz Food's ready.
Star [runs past holding laser puppies] Great! Put it on the table!
Marco Whoa. Why is your room so clean?
Star I have to make a good impression. [takes sword away from laser puppies] Not a chew toy.
Star shoves even more of her stuff into a treasure chest.
Star I'm not ready. I'm not ready! I can't believe this is happening!
Star uses her wand to give the chest wings.
Marco Ready for what?
Star's winged chest flies out through her bedroom window.
Star I'm being e-v-a-l-u-a-t-e-d.
Marco [muttering] ...t-e-d... Ooh! "Evaluated"! Wait, why are we spelling words instead of saying them?
Star Yeah, it sounded kinda weird when it came out of my mouth. Anyway, my mom is sending someone to see how far along in my magic training I am since I got to Earth. Heh-heh.
Marco That doesn't sound so bad.
Star Oh, sweet, simple Marco. If I fail, I could get sent back to Mewni.
Marco What?!
Star Which is why I need to clean and you need to cook.
The black cloud from Mewni flies into the room and kicks up a strong wind.
Marco Whoa!
The black mist swirls into a large mass at the center of the room.
Star It's her!
The black mist blows away to reveal Baby, a small cat-like creature with wings and a jewel on her forehead.
Baby Hello.
Star and Marco Awww.
Baby I'm here to evaluate a one Star Butterfly.
Star I'm a one Star Butterfly. And you must be Baby.
Baby [looking at snack table] Oh! Food!
Marco Yes, I prepared this spread for you, Miss Baby. Please help yourself to any—
Baby turns into a black cloud and quickly devours the food on the table before returning to cat form.
Baby More, please.
Marco That took me all day to make.
Star [straining] Pleeeeaaaase?
Marco ...I would love to make you more. [leaves the room]
Star So, your Baby-ness, how does this evaluation work?
Baby How do you think it should work?
Star Uh, I don't know. I could show you my room.
Baby Okay.
Camera zooms out to a wide view of the first level of Star's bedroom loft.
Star Soooo... this is my room.
Baby Really?
Star Oh, yeah, yeah, and it's pretty much always this clean. I'm super organized.
Baby [pointing off-screen] What's that?
Star Huh? What's what?
Beanbag stands in the middle of Star's room.
Star Oh, that! [to Beanbag, whispering] You were supposed to hide! [to Baby] Oh, that's just Beanbag. Come say hi, Beanbag. Beanbag, say hi to Baby.
Beanbag barfs some of Star's stuff onto the floor.
Star Aw, crud.
Baby Hmm. Interesting. [writes on clipboard]
Star [laughs nervously] Yeah, totally. Hey, maybe we should go downstairs and check on Marco. You know, see how the snacks are coming.
Baby [pointing off-screen] What's that?
Foreboding exterior shot of Star's closet of secrets.
Star Oh! Oh, that? Oh, no. [chuckles] No, nothing. That's my secret closet. Boooo-riiiing. For things that, you know, I don't want people to... [sighs]
Baby [flies past Star toward closet]
Star No, wait! Don't!
Baby opens the closet door, and she and Star look inside. Giant piles of Star's stuff lay strewn about the closet interior, including Toffee's finger in the middle of the floor.
Baby [writes on clipboard] Interesting...
Star Heh. Oh, you... you think that's interesting?
Baby Oh, yes. Very interesting.
Star [slyly] Very interesting... Hey, Baby, want to see my wand?
Baby looks at the wand's faceplate. Her face is normally reflected in the cleaved star piece, and her reflection has green eyes on the hollow side.
Baby Hmm. It looks so different from your mom's.
Star Yeah, it's cool, right? Wait right there. [runs off-screen, returns] I have something else to show you. [runs off-screen, returns] You're gonna love it. [runs off-screen]
Baby [writes on clipboard]
Star This is something I have been working very hard on. [reveals her notebook of spells] My own spell book!
Baby Oh. That looks interesting, too.
Star [gasps] Really?! I made it myself.
Baby opens the notebook, and a lot of glitter falls out.
Baby ...Huh. Interesting.
Star Yeah, isn't it pretty? I only used, like, five pounds of glitter.
Marco enters with a tray of drinks.
Marco Who wants refreshments?
Baby rushes past Marco as a black cloud and consumes the drinks and cups.
Marco [whispering] How's it going?
Star Interesting?
Marco What does that mean?
Star I don't know. But go get more food.
Marco Yeah, yeah, okay. More food. [walks away]
Baby Now, Ms. Butterfly, how is your spellcasting?
Star My spells? Oh, they're great. My spells are awesome.
Baby Good. Would you bring me that apple, please?
Star ...What apple?
An apple appears on the desk next to Star.
Star Oh, sure. [picks up apple carries it to Baby]
Baby No. I mean, bring me that apple, please... with magic.
Star Oh! Right! No, no, of course. [blows raspberry] Star. [sets apple back on desk] Narwhal Blast!
Star casts Narwhal Blast on the apple. A narwhal impales the apple on its horn and slams into the wall behind Baby. Baby pulls the narwhal out of the wall, and it poofs away, leaving only the apple.
Baby Not quite.
Star Oh, no?
Baby I want a whole apple, not an apple with a hole.
The holed apple disappears, and another apple appears on the desk.
Baby Try again.
Star Ohhhh! Oh, oh, oh. Gotcha. [chuckles] totally. No problem at all. Totally. That is totally something I am capable of doing. Winter Storm Hyper Blow!
Star blasts the apple with frigid air. The air covers Baby in frost and turns the apple into crumbly ice. Another apple appears next to Star.
Star Did you want that damaged or undamaged? Undamaged it is. Right, of course. Makes sense.
Baby [blinks]
Star Mystic Suck Portal!
Star opens a small black hole that sucks in the apple. Another black hole opens in front of Baby, and the apple falls out, splatting on the floor. The black hole gets wider, and some of Star's stuff falls out. The black hole gets even wider, and Star's bed falls out.
Baby [writes on clipboard]
Star [scoffs] All right, that's enough practice. Here it comes.
Star summons a minotaur to carefully carry the apple over to Baby. The apple slips out of the minotaur's hands, and he accidentally steps on it.
Baby [writes on clipboard]
Star [whimpers] All right, this time for real.
As Star casts more spells, the scene cuts to Marco making sandwiches in the kitchen. Drops of water start falling from the ceiling.
Marco [looks up] Wet ceiling?
Upstairs, Star's room is flooded with water, and a magically summoned shark swims past Baby and eats the apple.
Baby [writes on clipboard]
Star [speaking indistinctly]
Star uses her magic to drain the water out of the room, and another apple appears next to her.
Baby [writes on clipboard]
Star [runs up to Baby] Okay, no-no-no, seriously. I swear, I can do this.
Star blasts the apple with green magic, and it turns into a flat mushy fruit. Another blast, and it turns into an oblong pear. Baby is surprised by the green color of Star's magic.
Star T-That's not... It just does that sometimes.
Star blasts the apple again, and it turns into a green banana. When she blasts it again, it pops like a balloon.
Baby [writes on clipboard]
Star Let me try again.
Baby No need. I've seen everything I need to see. Thank you.
Baby turns into a black cloud and flies past Star.
Star B-B-But, hey! Hold up!
Star stops Baby before she leaves.
Star How'd I do?
Baby [flipping through clipboard pages] Hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Ahhh. ...You failed. Goodbye.
Baby turns into a black cloud again and flies toward the window.
Star What? Failed? [stammers] So this was all just a waste of time?
Baby stops in front of the window and slowly turns around.
Baby Princess, would you like me to read you the results of my evaluation? Let's see. It tells me you have a closet full of secrets.
Star But what does that have to do with—?
Baby While under your care, your wand – the single most important heirloom of the Butterfly dynasty – was broken. You lost the sacred book of spells and replaced it with a college-ruled notebook! And lastly, your spellcasting is so undisciplined and unstructured that you're incapable of performing basic magic! You can't even bring me an apple!
Marco returns with a plate of sandwiches.
Marco Who wants sandwiches?
Baby [in a deep, monstrous voice] GET OUT!
Marco [closes the door]
Baby Your Highness... you failed!
Star No, no, no. If I failed, that means... I have to go home.
Baby That's not my problem.
Star looks dejected, then determined. She raises her wand over her head and starts focusing her magic. When she fires at the apple again, her magic comes up as a blend of green and pink. Star and Baby wait to see what Star's magic does, and it splits the apple into two halves. Star turns away from Baby, ashamed.
Baby Goodbye, princess. [continues to leave]
Star ...
A seed in one of the apple halves starts growing into a tree. Marco slowly reenters the room with a baseball bat. When he sees the tree, he stares in shock and drops the bat.
Marco [gasps softly]
Star watches as her tree grows to immense size. One of the tree's branches produces an apple that falls in front of Baby. She catches the apple in her hand.
Baby ...It's perfect.
Marco Does this mean she gets to stay?
Baby turns to face Star and Marco... and she smiles. Star returns the smile. Turning into a black cloud, she devours the sandwiches on Marco's plate before flying back to Mewni.
Marco [relieved sigh] I knew you'd do great. [hugs Star]
Star [hugs Marco back] Thanks, Marco. [sighs]
As Star stares at the sky, her winged chest flies past the window with a flock of geese. Cut back to Butterfly Castle in Mewni; Baby gives her report to King and Queen Butterfly in the dining hall.
Baby [chewing on the apple] Well, she has a closet full of secrets, a broken wand, a notebook containing her own spells, and she doesn't know basic magic.
Queen Butterfly So... she failed.
King Butterfly reaches for a bowl of cupcakes next to Baby, but Baby smacks his hand with a wooden spoon.
King Butterfly Ow! [falls down to the floor]
Baby No, my queen. Star is nowhere near your skill level at her age. She's far beyond it. In fact, I haven't seen anything like this... [eats cupcake] ...since Queen Eclipsa.
King Butterfly, after wincing in pain, sits up with his eyes widen in shock.
King Butterfly Monster love...!
Queen Butterfly [gasps]
Queen Butterfly looks up at the Butterfly family portrait. Camera slowly zooms in on Star before fading to a shot of Eclipsa's portrait.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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