(theme song) | |
Episode begins in the Butterfly Castle dining hall, on a shot of a portrait of Star and her parents. Camera pans down to King and Queen Butterfly sitting across from each other at the dinner table. | |
King Butterfly | [eating noisily] Honey, you've got to try the jumbo megafowl. [eating and smacking lips] It's so moist. It just melts in your mouth. Mmmm... You haven't touched a thing. What's wrong? |
Queen Butterfly plays with the peas on her dinner plate with her fork. | |
Queen Butterfly | [sighs] I just can't stop thinking about what happened to Glossaryck. |
King Butterfly | So? He's gone. Good riddance, I say. Little guy always creeped me out. |
Queen Butterfly | But Star is all alone on Earth now at a crucial point in her training. We may need to consider... bringing her back to Mewni. |
King Butterfly | Whaaaaat...? Oh, but she's in the middle of school. We can't disrupt her life like that. |
Queen Butterfly | Then that leaves us no choice but to have her evaluated. |
Queen Butterfly takes out a small perfume bottle and places it on the table in front of her husband. King Butterfly's eyes widen. He stands up and starts stacking food and plates in his hands. | |
King Butterfly | Nope, nope, nope, nope-nope, nooooooope. Nope, nope. |
Queen Butterfly | What other options do we have? |
King Butterfly | But I can't stand that stupid...! [sighs, bites megafowl] I say nope! [walks away] No-ho-hope! |
Queen Butterfly removes the top of the perfume bottle, and a black cloud of mist pours out. It swirls through the air over Queen Butterfly's head before flying out of the dining hall. As it passes King Butterfly in the corridor, it snatches up all of his food. | |
King Butterfly | Wha...? [growls and goes to the window] Curse you, you wretched monster! |
The black cloud flies out of the castle and into the distance. Cut to Star's bedroom at the Diaz Household; a teddy bear with an eyepatch and Cockney accent sits in a pile of books, clothes, and weapons. | |
Teddy bear | No, no, no, wait! Can we talk about this? I don't want to go in the secrets closet! |
Star pushes the teddy bear and pile of stuff into her secrets closet and closes the door. | |
Star Butterfly | Why is everything such a mess? |
The teddy bear sticks its paws through the slats in the closet door. | |
Teddy bear | No, Star! No, no, no! |
Something inside the closet growls and drags the teddy bear in. Star shoves more of her stuff under her bed. With her magic wand, Star summons the beanbag monster. | |
Beanbag | Oh, hey, Star— |
Star shoves more of her stuff in Beanbag's mouth. | |
Star | Time for you to hide now. |
The junk on Star's bed attracts flies, and something under it has eyes. | |
Star | Mystic Room Suck Transform! |
Star creates a black hole on the ceiling to suck in her bed. Marco enters the room with an armful of food. | |
Marco Diaz | Food's ready. |
Star | [runs past holding laser puppies] Great! Put it on the table! |
Marco | Whoa. Why is your room so clean? |
Star | I have to make a good impression. [takes sword away from laser puppies] Not a chew toy. |
Star shoves even more of her stuff into a treasure chest. | |
Star | I'm not ready. I'm not ready! I can't believe this is happening! |
Star uses her wand to give the chest wings. | |
Marco | Ready for what? |
Star's winged chest flies out through her bedroom window. | |
Star | I'm being e-v-a-l-u-a-t-e-d. |
Marco | [muttering] ...t-e-d... Ooh! "Evaluated"! Wait, why are we spelling words instead of saying them? |
Star | Yeah, it sounded kinda weird when it came out of my mouth. Anyway, my mom is sending someone to see how far along in my magic training I am since I got to Earth. Heh-heh. |
Marco | That doesn't sound so bad. |
Star | Oh, sweet, simple Marco. If I fail, I could get sent back to Mewni. |
Marco | What?! |
Star | Which is why I need to clean and you need to cook. |
The black cloud from Mewni flies into the room and kicks up a strong wind. | |
Marco | Whoa! |
The black mist swirls into a large mass at the center of the room. | |
Star | It's her! |
The black mist blows away to reveal Baby, a small cat-like creature with wings and a jewel on her forehead. | |
Baby | Hello. |
Star and Marco | Awww. |
Baby | I'm here to evaluate a one Star Butterfly. |
Star | I'm a one Star Butterfly. And you must be Baby. |
Baby | [looking at snack table] Oh! Food! |
Marco | Yes, I prepared this spread for you, Miss Baby. Please help yourself to any— |
Baby turns into a black cloud and quickly devours the food on the table before returning to cat form. | |
Baby | More, please. |
Marco | That took me all day to make. |
Star | [straining] Pleeeeaaaase? |
Marco | ...I would love to make you more. [leaves the room] |
Star | So, your Baby-ness, how does this evaluation work? |
Baby | How do you think it should work? |
Star | Uh, I don't know. I could show you my room. |
Baby | Okay. |
Camera zooms out to a wide view of the first level of Star's bedroom loft. | |
Star | Soooo... this is my room. |
Baby | Really? |
Star | Oh, yeah, yeah, and it's pretty much always this clean. I'm super organized. |
Baby | [pointing off-screen] What's that? |
Star | Huh? What's what? |
Beanbag stands in the middle of Star's room. | |
Star | Oh, that! [to Beanbag, whispering] You were supposed to hide! [to Baby] Oh, that's just Beanbag. Come say hi, Beanbag. Beanbag, say hi to Baby. |
Beanbag barfs some of Star's stuff onto the floor. | |
Star | Aw, crud. |
Baby | Hmm. Interesting. [writes on clipboard] |
Star | [laughs nervously] Yeah, totally. Hey, maybe we should go downstairs and check on Marco. You know, see how the snacks are coming. |
Baby | [pointing off-screen] What's that? |
Foreboding exterior shot of Star's closet of secrets. | |
Star | Oh! Oh, that? Oh, no. [chuckles] No, nothing. That's my secret closet. Boooo-riiiing. For things that, you know, I don't want people to... [sighs] |
Baby | [flies past Star toward closet] |
Star | No, wait! Don't! |
Baby opens the closet door, and she and Star look inside. Giant piles of Star's stuff lay strewn about the closet interior, including Toffee's finger in the middle of the floor. | |
Baby | [writes on clipboard] Interesting... |
Star | Heh. Oh, you... you think that's interesting? |
Baby | Oh, yes. Very interesting. |
Star | [slyly] Very interesting... Hey, Baby, want to see my wand? |
Baby looks at the wand's faceplate. Her face is normally reflected in the cleaved star piece, and her reflection has green eyes on the hollow side. | |
Baby | Hmm. It looks so different from your mom's. |
Star | Yeah, it's cool, right? Wait right there. [runs off-screen, returns] I have something else to show you. [runs off-screen, returns] You're gonna love it. [runs off-screen] |
Baby | [writes on clipboard] |
Star | This is something I have been working very hard on. [reveals her notebook of spells] My own spell book! |
Baby | Oh. That looks interesting, too. |
Star | [gasps] Really?! I made it myself. |
Baby opens the notebook, and a lot of glitter falls out. | |
Baby | ...Huh. Interesting. |
Star | Yeah, isn't it pretty? I only used, like, five pounds of glitter. |
Marco enters with a tray of drinks. | |
Marco | Who wants refreshments? |
Baby rushes past Marco as a black cloud and consumes the drinks and cups. | |
Marco | [whispering] How's it going? |
Star | Interesting? |
Marco | What does that mean? |
Star | I don't know. But go get more food. |
Marco | Yeah, yeah, okay. More food. [walks away] |
Baby | Now, Ms. Butterfly, how is your spellcasting? |
Star | My spells? Oh, they're great. My spells are awesome. |
Baby | Good. Would you bring me that apple, please? |
Star | ...What apple? |
An apple appears on the desk next to Star. | |
Star | Oh, sure. [picks up apple carries it to Baby] |
Baby | No. I mean, bring me that apple, please... with magic. |
Star | Oh! Right! No, no, of course. [blows raspberry] Star. [sets apple back on desk] Narwhal Blast! |
Star casts Narwhal Blast on the apple. A narwhal impales the apple on its horn and slams into the wall behind Baby. Baby pulls the narwhal out of the wall, and it poofs away, leaving only the apple. | |
Baby | Not quite. |
Star | Oh, no? |
Baby | I want a whole apple, not an apple with a hole. |
The holed apple disappears, and another apple appears on the desk. | |
Baby | Try again. |
Star | Ohhhh! Oh, oh, oh. Gotcha. [chuckles] totally. No problem at all. Totally. That is totally something I am capable of doing. Winter Storm Hyper Blow! |
Star blasts the apple with frigid air. The air covers Baby in frost and turns the apple into crumbly ice. Another apple appears next to Star. | |
Star | Did you want that damaged or undamaged? Undamaged it is. Right, of course. Makes sense. |
Baby | [blinks] |
Star | Mystic Suck Portal! |
Star opens a small black hole that sucks in the apple. Another black hole opens in front of Baby, and the apple falls out, splatting on the floor. The black hole gets wider, and some of Star's stuff falls out. The black hole gets even wider, and Star's bed falls out. | |
Baby | [writes on clipboard] |
Star | [scoffs] All right, that's enough practice. Here it comes. |
Star summons a minotaur to carefully carry the apple over to Baby. The apple slips out of the minotaur's hands, and he accidentally steps on it. | |
Baby | [writes on clipboard] |
Star | [whimpers] All right, this time for real. |
As Star casts more spells, the scene cuts to Marco making sandwiches in the kitchen. Drops of water start falling from the ceiling. | |
Marco | [looks up] Wet ceiling? |
Upstairs, Star's room is flooded with water, and a magically summoned shark swims past Baby and eats the apple. | |
Baby | [writes on clipboard] |
Star | [speaking indistinctly] |
Star uses her magic to drain the water out of the room, and another apple appears next to her. | |
Baby | [writes on clipboard] |
Star | [runs up to Baby] Okay, no-no-no, seriously. I swear, I can do this. |
Star blasts the apple with green magic, and it turns into a flat mushy fruit. Another blast, and it turns into an oblong pear. Baby is surprised by the green color of Star's magic. | |
Star | T-That's not... It just does that sometimes. |
Star blasts the apple again, and it turns into a green banana. When she blasts it again, it pops like a balloon. | |
Baby | [writes on clipboard] |
Star | Let me try again. |
Baby | No need. I've seen everything I need to see. Thank you. |
Baby turns into a black cloud and flies past Star. | |
Star | B-B-But, hey! Hold up! |
Star stops Baby before she leaves. | |
Star | How'd I do? |
Baby | [flipping through clipboard pages] Hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Ahhh. ...You failed. Goodbye. |
Baby turns into a black cloud again and flies toward the window. | |
Star | What? Failed? [stammers] So this was all just a waste of time? |
Baby stops in front of the window and slowly turns around. | |
Baby | Princess, would you like me to read you the results of my evaluation? Let's see. It tells me you have a closet full of secrets. |
Star | But what does that have to do with—? |
Baby | While under your care, your wand – the single most important heirloom of the Butterfly dynasty – was broken. You lost the sacred book of spells and replaced it with a college-ruled notebook! And lastly, your spellcasting is so undisciplined and unstructured that you're incapable of performing basic magic! You can't even bring me an apple! |
Marco returns with a plate of sandwiches. | |
Marco | Who wants sandwiches? |
Baby | [in a deep, monstrous voice] GET OUT! |
Marco | [closes the door] |
Baby | Your Highness... you failed! |
Star | No, no, no. If I failed, that means... I have to go home. |
Baby | That's not my problem. |
Star looks dejected, then determined. She raises her wand over her head and starts focusing her magic. When she fires at the apple again, her magic comes up as a blend of green and pink. Star and Baby wait to see what Star's magic does, and it splits the apple into two halves. Star turns away from Baby, ashamed. | |
Baby | Goodbye, princess. [continues to leave] |
Star | ... |
A seed in one of the apple halves starts growing into a tree. Marco slowly reenters the room with a baseball bat. When he sees the tree, he stares in shock and drops the bat. | |
Marco | [gasps softly] |
Star watches as her tree grows to immense size. One of the tree's branches produces an apple that falls in front of Baby. She catches the apple in her hand. | |
Baby | ...It's perfect. |
Marco | Does this mean she gets to stay? |
Baby turns to face Star and Marco... and she smiles. Star returns the smile. Turning into a black cloud, she devours the sandwiches on Marco's plate before flying back to Mewni. | |
Marco | [relieved sigh] I knew you'd do great. [hugs Star] |
Star | [hugs Marco back] Thanks, Marco. [sighs] |
As Star stares at the sky, her winged chest flies past the window with a flock of geese. Cut back to Butterfly Castle in Mewni; Baby gives her report to King and Queen Butterfly in the dining hall. | |
Baby | [chewing on the apple] Well, she has a closet full of secrets, a broken wand, a notebook containing her own spells, and she doesn't know basic magic. |
Queen Butterfly | So... she failed. |
King Butterfly reaches for a bowl of cupcakes next to Baby, but Baby smacks his hand with a wooden spoon. | |
King Butterfly | Ow! [falls down to the floor] |
Baby | No, my queen. Star is nowhere near your skill level at her age. She's far beyond it. In fact, I haven't seen anything like this... [eats cupcake] ...since Queen Eclipsa. |
King Butterfly, after wincing in pain, sits up with his eyes widen in shock. | |
King Butterfly | Monster love...! |
Queen Butterfly | [gasps] |
Queen Butterfly looks up at the Butterfly family portrait. Camera slowly zooms in on Star before fading to a shot of Eclipsa's portrait. |
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Baby/Transcript
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