Book Be Gone/Transcript

	(theme song)
	Episode begins at Ludo's monster temple; Ludo's bald eagle and giant spider fly toward the temple. The eagle is wearing a Britta's Tacos T-shirt and carrying a takeout bag.
Ludo	[snoring]
	The eagle drops the takeout bag. Spider takes a taco out of the bag and holds it in front of Ludo's face.
Ludo	[sniffing] Ah? [muttering, opens eyes to see eagle and spider] Aah! [grunting, looks at ruined temple] Wha...?
	A pair of rats are seen gambling for corn.
Ludo	My wand. Where's... Where's my wand? [sees glowing crytal in right palm] Aah! [falls over, grunts] My hand is a wand? A wand hand. I have a wand... hand. I-I don't know if I like this. Wait! I don't like this! Glossaryck. Where's Glossaryck?
Glossaryck	(o.s.) I'm right here. I'm right where you left me. Right here.
Ludo	[looks at stone pillar] Glossaryck! [hugs pillar] Oh, Glossaryck! They... They turned my hand into a wand and you... you into a pole. [sobs]
Glossaryck	(o.s.) I am not a pole.
Ludo	Huh?
Glossaryck	(o.s.) I'm over here!
	Ludo looks behind the stone pillar and sees Glossaryck roasting chocolate pudding over a fire.
Glossaryck	Hey-o!
Ludo	Glossaryck! [falls to the ground] Where have you been?
Glossaryck	What do you mean, where have I been? You told me to hide. I hid! [pudding falls off of his stick] Oh, come on.
Ludo	What? I never told you to hide.
Glossaryck	Wait. Now, which one of you am I talking to right now?
Ludo	Which one?! It's me! Ludo!
Glossaryck	Oh, yes. It's you. Yeah, all right. Never mind. [licks pudding]
Ludo	What's going on? Who trashed my house?
Glossaryck	Uh, you did.
Ludo	What?
Glossaryck	You defeated the Magic High Commission.
Ludo	I did?
Glossaryck	Well... Well, not you. Not you exactly, but, um...
Ludo	[pushes Glossaryck away] I defeated the Magic High Commission?! Hah! I can't believe it! [gasps] This needs to be a chapter in the Book of Spells! Then everyone will know how powerful I am!
Wand crystal	[humming]
Ludo	Huh? What?
Wand crystal	[points at Butterfly Castle]
Ludo	Huh? What? Butterfly Castle? Oh, no, no, no. First I write my chapter in the book, then I'll take over Butterfly Castle. Now, where was I? [straining, pulls feather from his head] There we go. [opens book, dips feather in Glossaryck's pudding]
Glossaryck	That's not going to work. You see, only the owner can write in the Book of Spells.
Ludo	Yeah, that's me. I'm the owner.
Glossaryck	Okay...
Ludo	Should I write in my normal handwriting or try something fun and fancy? Yes, what should I call my chapter? "Ludo the Awesome"! Mm-mmm. Nah, nothin'. "Ludo the Better Than Everyone Else"! Ooh! Yes! I like the sound of that!
	The Book of Spells closes on its own.
Ludo	Huh? ...No problem. No problem. Just a little speed bump...!
	Ludo tries to open the book again, but it doesn't budge. It flips over on top of him.
Ludo	Agh!
Glossaryck	I told you, it's not your book anymore.
Ludo	Hmph! Okay. Maybe it just needs a little space. Yes, that's it. I'll just come back some other time. [hums, walks away, jumps at the book] Aha!
	Ludo tries writing in the book, but it slams closed. He pounces on it, and it knocks him off and floats away. Ludo chases after it.
Ludo	[grunting] Hah! [monkey-like grunting and screaming]
	The book wags its bookmark at Ludo like a finger.
Glossaryck	[high-fives bookmark] Boo-yah!
Ludo	[growling]
	Ludo runs toward the book, and it lashes its bookmark around Ludo's wrist.
Ludo	I gotcha now!
	The book tosses Ludo in a stream, and he floats downstream.
Ludo	So this is probably not one of my favorite things that's happened to me. [goes over waterfall, screams]
	Ludo resurfaces on the water and looks at the Book of Spells at the top of the waterfall. He narrows his eyes. Cut back to Glossaryck, who is still trying to roast pudding.
Glossaryck	Oh, I just don't know anymore. Is it more heat and less pudding, or less pudding and...? [pudding falls off of his stick] Oh, forget it.
Ludo	[appears behind Book of Spells and grabs with his arms] Aah! Gotcha!
	The Book of Spells takes off into the air and drags along a screaming Ludo.
Glossaryck	[pudding falls off of his stick] Hmm... [pudding falls off of his stick] Hmm... Hmm... [pudding falls off of his stick] Ugh!
Ludo	You will let me write in you!
	The Book of Spells catches Ludo between its pages and slams him on the ground head-first.
Ludo	[screaming in slow motion]
	The book locks itself closed, and Ludo lands next to Glossaryck's fire.
Ludo	[groaning] I hurt in places I didn't know I had.
Glossaryck	You know, there's a spell in the book that would fix that. Oh, wait. Oh, oh, never mind. [pudding falls off of his stick] Oh, give me a break!
Ludo	A spell? Of course! Why didn't I think of this before?
Wand crystal	[humming]
Glossaryck	I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Ludo	Levitato!
	Ludo casts Levitato at the Book, but the energy feeds back and blasts Ludo clear into the distance.
Ludo	[screams]
	There is a faraway explosion. Scene fades to white. Fade in on Ludo regaining consciousness on a beach; sand falls off of him and spills out of his mouth.
Ludo	Where am I? [flower wreath appears around his neck] Oh, thanks, Marion. That's so nice.
	Someone hands Ludo a coconut drink from off-screen right.
Ludo	Barbara? My favorite. [slurping]
	Someone puts a crown of seashells on Ludo's head from off-screen left.
Ludo	Mmm. Oh, that really hits the spot. Say, you got any of those tiny pillows for behind my knees?
	Scene zooms out to show Ludo with two mermaids.
Ludo	[slurping] You know, girls, it's... it's funny. I know this is a bit lolo – hah! – but I can't remember how I got here. [laughing]
Mermaids	[laughing]
	Two "reverse-mermaids" and two mermen join in the laughing. Ludo's plucked feather falls in front of him.
Ludo	Huh? That stupid book! [screaming]
	Ludo angrily stomps across multiple landscapes to return to the monster temple.
Ludo	[angry muttering] Get my hands on you!
	When Ludo reaches the top of the temple, he throws his seashell crown on the ground and goes up to Glossaryck.
Ludo	[growling] ...So, what's that thing you said about me not being the owner of the book anymore? Hmm?
Glossaryck	Yes. Well, that's, um... That's the thing.
Ludo	What's the thing?
Glossaryck	The book thing. You don't... You don't own it anymore. That's it.
Ludo	But that doesn't make any sense! I took it! It's right there! How can it not be mine?
Glossaryck	I don't know. Why don't you ask the book? [pudding falls off of his stick] Ohhh!
Ludo	[looks at book] Hmm... Book! I demand that you let me write in you this instant, or I'll turn this car around so fast, it'll make your head spin! [pauses, groans] Look! I'm sorry, okay?! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just that you have something I want, and you won't give it to me. And I want it so much! You and I aren't really that different, you know? We both like magic... and, uh... other stuff. What I'm trying to say is I really appreciate you and all you've done for me. So if you're not letting me write in you because of something I did or I said, I-I... All right. I'm just going to come right out and say it. I love you, book. I do! I love you! And I'd be honored if you let me write in you.
Glossaryck	[laughing, clapping with his feet]
Ludo	Why are you laughing?
Glossaryck	I'm sorry. It's, it's... It's a book. You cannot talk to the... to the book! [laughing] I'm sor... [laughing] Ahh. I thought you were in on the, uh... Oh, never mind.
Ludo	Oh, yes. Funny. Yes, I suppose it is. Funny that I ever believed you would take me seriously! Funny that ugly little Ludo wants to be a mighty magical superstar! What a joke, right?! [fake laugh] Joke on me! Star was always your favorite, wasn't she? The cute little sparkles on the cheeks. I'm just a sad little dingus in a chip bag. Who you never believed in! Well, if you don't want me in your book, then I don't want me in it, either!
	Ludo tosses the Book of Spells into the fire, and the fire turns green. Ludo's eyes glow green as Toffee takes over his body. Glossaryck emerges from the book as it burns.
Glossaryck	Well, Toffee, looks like you finally got him to do what you wanted.
Ludo (Toffee)	I didn't want this. This was all Ludo. But now that you're gone, I can finally get him to do what I wanted. I'd love to chat more, but it looks like you're out of time.
	The Book of Spells starts burning to ashes.
Glossaryck	Hmm. You know, even though I knew this was coming, it's, uh... it's still kind of a surprise. [successfully roasts a ball of pudding] Hey! Hey, look! It worked! [vanishes in flames]
	The Book of Spells releases a tremendous amount of pink and purple energy. Ludo regains control of his body, and the flames burn out.
Ludo	[gasps, looks at burnt cinders] Aah! Glossaryck! Oh, no! No-no-no-no-no! Glossaryck! What have I done?! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I... [ashes blow away in the wind] No, no, no, no! No, no, stop! Come back! I didn't mean it! [curls up into a ball and cries]
Wand	[humming]
Ludo	Huh? What do you mean it's for the best?
Wand crystal	[points at Butterfly Castle]
Ludo	Right. The book was a distraction. We don't need it anymore. We don't need anyone anymore! Butterfly Castle... I'm coming for you.