Butterfly Trap/Transcript

	(theme song)
	Episode begins at the Bureaucracy of Magic; the sound of a gavel is heard. In a courtroom,Rhombulus, Hekapoo, and Omnitraxus Prime sit behind the judges' chairs, and Eclipsa Butterfly stands behind the defendant podium with her hands handcuffed.
Omnitraxus Prime	All rise! The court of the Magical High Commission is now in session. Her Majesty, Queen Moon of Mewni, presiding.
	Queen Moon appears behind Omnitraxus and stands in front of the judge's chair in the middle.
Queen Moon	Thank you. We are gathered here today for the trial of Eclipsa—
Sean	[bursts in with a typewriter] I'm sorry! [courtroom door briefly closes on him] I-I'm sorry I'm late! [panting] We haven't had a trial in so long, I didn't know where to find the typey thingy. Usually Rhombulus just crystallizes everybody. [laughs] With his laser eye. But a real trial! This is exciting!
Eclipsa	That depends on where you're sitting.
Moon	As I was saying, we're gather here today for the trial of Eclipsa.
	As Moon speaks, Sean types loudly over her.
Sean	[stops typing]
Moon	[growls]
Sean	[types slowly and softly]
Moon	We shall determine once and for all whether Eclipsa has committed the evil deeds recorded in our histories. If she is found guilty, the punishment will be—
Rhombulus	Death! Death!
Moon	Rhombulus, we talked about this!
Rhombulus	Well, we crystallized her last time. Look how that turned out. Death!
Moon	Hey! Sit down.
Rhombulus	Yes, ma'am...
Hekapoo	Well, that's all in order. But what is she doing here?
	Hekapoo reveals Star Butterfly sitting behind her.
Hekapoo	This is supposed to be a private hearing!
Moon	Star was the one who convinced me to hold this trial in the first place. If Eclipsa is found guilty, I want her to be here to see it.
Star	Or if she's innocent — which she is — I wanna see all y'all's faces when you realize how wrong you were.
Hekapoo	If you think you can just waltz in here and run your mouth off—!
Star	[simultaneously] I can waltz wherever I want! I can run my mouth when I want!
Rhombulus	[simultaneously] Death! Death!
Moon	[simultaneously] No! I will hold you in contempt of court! Sit down!
Sean	[interrupting everyone] Excuse me! Hey, sorry, but could you talk a bit slower, please?
Moon	[whispering angrily] No.
Sean	[types "NO" on the typewriter]
Omnitraxus	Queen Moon, what evidence have you brought us?
Moon	I'm afraid this is the evidence.
	Moon produces a large stack of papers, binders, stone tables, and scrolls.
Moon	It's less impressive than it looks. These are all second-hand accounts, oral histories, folk stories, none of them verified.
Hekapoo	There's no way around it. Come on, everybody grab a stack.
Star	You guys aren't gonna seriously sit here and read all of that?
Eclipsa	Yes, I don't mean to fuss, but exactly how long is this trial meant to last?
Moon	[sighs] As long as it takes. Now to begin, we must organize each and every one of these documents by date and author.
Rhombulus	[groans] Sounds like math!
Moon	Once we've constructed a rough timeline, we can—
Eclipsa	Uh, that won't be necessary. I request a Trial by Box.
Rhombulus	[tosses papers] Awesome!
Hekapoo	Well, it looks like I won't be needing these anymore.
Omnitraxus	Sean, cancel my lunch order. We're gonna be done here pretty quick.
Sean	[stops typing] Lunch?
Moon	Eclipsa, are you sure about this? The Box is a ruthless seeker of truth. If you attempt to conceal anything from it, crystallization may be the least of your worries.
Eclipsa	I'm tired of sitting around waiting for you to decide my fate. I'll give you the truth. All of it. And if that means crystallization, so be it.
Moon	Sean, we wish to invoke Trial by Box.
Sean	[salutes] Yes, your Majesty!
	Sean runs out of the courtroom and returns with an ornamental cart with a banner that reads "BOX OF TRUTH".
Sean	The Box of Truth has arrived!
	Sean pulls on a rope cord, and the banner pulls up to reveal the Truth or Punishments box.
Star	Wait, is that Truth or Punishment?
Moon	What? No, no, no, no. This is the Box of Truth.
Star	That, my friend, is Truth or Punishment. We played it at my sleepover.
Moon	You played it?! The Box is not a game!
Box	[intense male voice] Who do you have a crush on?
Rhombulus	[stammers] Queen Moon! Uh-oh.
	Moon, Star, Hekapoo, and Omnitraxus stare at Rhombulus as he blushes.
Moon	[sighs] It must be on the wrong setting.
	Moon picks up the Box and turns it over, showing a display that reads "PARTY" and a dial.
Moon	[turns dial to "INTERVENTION"]
Box	We need to talk.
Moon	[turns dial to "BACHELORETTE"]
Box	All right, ladies! Are you—?
Moon	[turns dial to "TRIAL"]
Box	Prepare for judgment!
Moon	The rules are simple. Each member of the Magical High Commission shall ask one question, and the accused must answer. [turns the box on]
Box	To all who seek the path of knowledge, listen well to this decree. Surrender to the eye of justice. Swear an oath of truth to me.
	A small mouth rises out of the box.
Star	Ooh. Different poem, different poem.
Moon	[sticks pinky finger in box's mouth] I swear.
Hekapoo	[sticks pinky finger in box's mouth] I swear.
Omnitraxus	I swear. [sticks index finger in box's mouth]
Rhombulus	I, uh... swear? [sticks one of his snake heads' tongue in box mouth]
Eclipsa	[sticks pinky finger in box's mouth] I swear.
Box	And now, it's time for trial by Box.
	The box reconfigures to an eyeball shape and shines a spotlight on Eclipsa.
Omnitraxus	Eclipsa, did you write the evil chapter in the Book of Spells?
Box	Exhibit A! [creates hologram of the Book of Spells]
Eclipsa	Yes, I did. But for the record, I never called it the evil chapter. That was your people's name for it. [unlocks her chapter and flips pages containing her spells] I wrote plenty of eviler spells that never even made it into the final draft. Writing is rewriting, you know.
Box	[turns green] Truth!
	On a "GOOD/EVIL" checklist, Hekapoo makes a checkmark under "EVIL".
Star	[scoffs] Whatever. Have you guys even read her chapter?
Moon	Hekapoo, the second question goes to you.
Hekapoo	Box, pull up the royal archives for me, would ya?
Box	Exhibit B. [creates hologram of Eclipsa and King Shastacan]
	Eclipsa stares at a hologram of King Shastacan making a disgusted grimace, crossing her arms and looks away.
Hekapoo	Did you abandon your husband, King Shastacan, and your kingdom to elope with a monster?
	The hologram version of Eclipsa runs away from King Shastacan and goes up to a hologram of Globgor.
Eclipsa	[blushes] Oh, hello, sweetie. Yes, I did run off with a monster. But could you really blame me? How could I resist a smile like that? [carressing Globgor's check with her finger as Globgor growls contentedly]
Box	[turns green] Truth again!
Star	Aww! Huh?
Hekapoo	[checks off "EVIL" again] Uh-huh.
Star	Come on, Eclipsa.
Moon	Rhombulus, the third—
Rhombulus	Did you eat those babies?!
Eclipsa	[blinks her eyes and tilts her head in confusion] ...What?
Hekapoo	Ugh! Bobipsa was the baby-eater, not Eclipsa!
Rhombulus	Oh, right. I wanna take my question back.
Box	There are no take-backs in trial by Box! [creates hologram of Eclipsa tormenting babies]
Eclipsa	Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I'm afraid I have not eaten even a single baby. Now, I did hurt the occasional teenager, but only psychologically, and they always deserved it.
Box	[turns green] We're on a roll here, people!
	Hekapoo checks off "EVIL" once again.
Star	What is wrong with—?! Didn't you hear her?! She didn't eat those babies!
Moon	Star, sit down. We must respect the rules of the Box.
Star	Fine! [returns to her seat]
Moon	[stands up] Eclipsa... Are you sorry for what you've done?
Eclipsa	...No. I'm not.
Hekapoo	What?!
Omnitraxus	The nerve! Outrageous!
	Hekapoo writes "EVIL" in big, red letters on a scroll and shows it Eclipsa.
Omnitraxus	That settles it. Rhombulus, if you would.
Rhombulus	Right. [charges his crystal gem]
Eclipsa	One moment. I haven't asked my question.
Rhombulus	Wait. What?
Hekapoo	[laughs]
Omnitraxus	She can't ask us a question.
Star	Um... I think she can! Right, Mom? [stammers] My mom said! She said in the rules!
Moon	Technically, since Eclipsa was once a queen of Mewni, she is still a member of the Magical High Commission. And every member gets to ask one question.
Eclipsa	[clears throat] What did you do with my daughter?
	The Box of Truth shines a spotlight on the Magic High Commission.
Magic High Commission	[gasps]
Hekapoo	Uh, I have no idea what she's talking about.
Omnitraxus	We didn't do anything with your daughter!
Rhombulus	And honestly? I-I'm kind of offended.
Box	[turns red] Too bad for you. [bellowing] Everyone lied!
	The Box traps everyone in a giant metal box.
Rhombulus	What's happening? We told the truth!
Box	Are you sure about that?
	The giant box shrinks slightly.
All	[gasps]
Star	Uh, c'mon, guys, spit it out!
Hekapoo	We didn't do anything wrong!
	The giant box shrinks again.
Moon	The Box seems to differ!
Omnitraxus	We aren't the ones on trial!
Box	If you'd rather get to the truth more quickly, I can work with that.
	The giant box starts shrinking steadily.
All	[gasps]
Rhombulus	That's not good.
Star	[pushing against wall] Guys!
	Eclipsa glares intensely at the Magic High Commission.
Omnitraxus	[pushing against wall, grunts] My magic's no good in here!
	Rhombulus creates tall crystal pillars to keep the box from shrinking. Hekapoo creates several clones of herself to push against the walls.
Hekapoo	[grunting]
Omnitraxus	Moon, please shut it off!
Moon	I can't do that. We all took the oath!
	Rhombulus' crystal pillars start to break.
Rhombulus	Oh, no. Okay, I'm done! I want out!
	Hekapoo's clones poof into thin air.
Hekapoo	We're gonna be crushed!
Star	You know, this is so unfair! You enforce the laws of magic on everyone around you, and yet for some reason, you can lie to us? How does that make you any different than the villain you say Eclipsa is?!
Rhombulus	...We got rid of your daughter, sorry!
Box	[turns green] Truth!
	The giant box disappears, and everyone returns to their original positions in the courtroom.
Rhombulus	[groans]
Hekapoo	What the heck, Rhombulus?!
Rhombulus	I'm sorry, I'm tired of keeping it a secret. Tell 'em Omni.
Omnitraxus	[sighs] Fine. Eclipsa, your ex-husband, King Shastacan...
	Omnitraxus' explanation is accompanied by holograms from the Box of Truth.
Omnitraxus	He wanted nothing to do with your half-monster daughter. So we swapped her out with a peasant girl. We gave her the royal magic wand, and she became the next queen of Mewni.
Box	Eclipsa has been found guilty of crimes against Mewmanity. However, the Magical High Commission has also been found guilty of tampering with Mewni's history and omitting the truth from the Butterfly family for generations. This concludes the trial. Although, if we're all being honest here, it seems like y'all still have some issues to deal with.
	The Box of Truth deactivates and falls into Moon's hands.
Moon	...So it was just as we suspected.
Hekapoo and Omni	What?!
Hekapoo	Uh, Moon?
	Moon gets out of her chair and walks up to Eclipsa's podium.
Moon	We knew there was something missing from our family's history. Eclipsa's daughter should be recorded here in the royal archives, but she's gone.
Rhombulus	[gasps] Wait a minute. This whole trial was a set-up?!
Sean	[panicked whimpering]
Hekapoo	You were planning this all along!
Star	Actually... we all planned this.
Sean	[more panicked whimpering]
Moon	We thought you might be hiding something. And it turns out we were right!
Star	You lied to our family for generations!
Sean	[mouth hanging open, banging on typewriter keys]
Hekapoo	We had to!
Omnitraxus	Can you imagine if the power of magic fell into the hands of a monster?
Star	You let us live a lie. We shouldn't even have the throne. Eclipsa isn't even— Wait. [turns to Eclipsa] You aren't actually my great-great-great-great-something-grandma.
Eclipsa	No, sweetie, I'm not.
Star	Then... that means... [takes out her wand and holds it] we're no more royal than anybody else.
Moon	You're still a princess, Star.
Star	No, Mom. [pauses before looking at Eclipsa] We're nobody.
	Star uses her wand to unlock Eclipsa's handcuffs, then walks away as Eclipsa, surprised, rubs her free wrists and watches Star leaving.
Moon	Star! Star, wait!
	Star runs out of the courtroom.