Camping Trip/Transcript

	Scene opens in the woods. Marco unpacks gear from the car. Star is hiding in the trunk.
Star Butterfly	Camping!
Marco Diaz	[screams]
Star	[jumping out] What's up nature? You're gonna get tamed!
Mosquito	[buzzes, lands on star]
Star	[gasps] Nature's touching me. Hey little guy.
Mosquito	[bites Star]
Star	[gasps] Cataclysmic total extinction death blast!
Marco	Star, we're not on Mewni. [sprays bug repellent]
Mosquito	[flies away]
Marco	Nature's nice here. You'll see. We'll do some fishing, a little hiking, and then... this! [holds up map]
Star	[gasps] A treasure map?
Marco	What? No. It's Old Youthful. One of the oldest geysers on Earth. And guess when it's erupting.
Star	Today?
Marco	Mmmm-hmmmm. Well, we got a big day ahead. Let's get started. [grabs fishing pole]
Star	Aren't your parents coming?
Marco	Nah. You know how most parents show slide shows of their vacations? Mine show paintings.
Rafael Diaz	[painting] And done. Next!
Angie Diaz	[changes pose]
Rafael	[starts a new canvas]
Star	So it's just the two of us then?
Marco	Yeah. Is that okay?
	An explosion occurs as something falls from the sky forming a crater. Star and Marco run over to check it out. There is someone in the crater...
King Butterfly	Camping!!
Star	Dad!
	The scene changes. Marco, Star, and her father are fishing. The King does sit-ups on the boat, rocking it greatly.
Star	Dad, oh, it's always great to see you. But what are you doing here?
King	[straining] What, I can't go camping with my own daughter? I taught you how to camp.
Star	Yeah, and now Marco's showing me how to go camping here on Earth.
King	Really? Is he showing you how to stalk a Narinthian tar beast for eleven days with no food, no sleep, and no clothes⁈
Star	No Dad, nature's really nice here. Look at what it gave me [holds out mosquito bitten arm]. Love bites. Here Marco. Show Dad how to Earth fish.
Marco	Yeah, sure. [hands him a fishing pole]
King	Whoa. So how do I... [hook falls in water] Amazing. Now what?
Marco	You're already doing it.
Star	Yay Dad!
Marco	[lowers his line] Now we just sit and wait.
King	[after waiting] You wait for the fish to come to you?
Marco	Just relax and take it all in. [breathes deeply] Smell that? Okay. Where'd he go?
	The King surfaces from the lake, holding a giant boulder over his head.
King	Fishing!! [swings rock] Yah. Take that and that. [finds leg, grabs and punches] Oh, gotcha now.
Marco	Is that what fishing on Mewni looks like?
King	[shakes leg vigorously]
	The scene changes. The trio is hiking
Marco	It says Old Youthful actually got its name from early settlers who believed that it had rejuvenating powers.
Star	That sounds really...
King	Boring! Why are we walking so slow?
Marco	Well, I was trying to take it easy 'cause you know, what you did to your foot.
King	But I don't even feel it.
Star	Come on, let me magic you up some boots.
King	I don't need any of that; I don't even need feet. [jumps onto his hands] Can you do this, huh? Can you do this? [kicks Marco lightly] I don't think you can. Want a piggyback ride, honey?
Star	[laughing] Aw, Dad. [serious] No.
King	Since when are you too cool for piggyback rides?
Marco	Well, I'm not too cool for a piggyback...
King	That would be weird Marco. [takes off] Race you to the water thing. [laughs]
Star	Is that the right way?
Marco	No. [runs towards him] Is your dad okay?
Star	I think so. He just really loves family camping trips. [takes out wand] Okay, where'd you go, big guy? [wand points to high up in a tree] Got him. What's he doing way up there?
	Star uses her wand as a magic parasol, and the two of them float up the King, who's in an eagle's nest.
Star	Hey Dad. Everything alright?
King	Shh! Staring contest.
	An eagle stares unblinking at the king.
Marco	Whoa! That's a bald eagle. We are breakin' a whole bunch of laws here.
King	He started it.
Star	Marco's right Dad. Let's go see Old Youthful.
King	Don't worry, darling. Once I break his spirit with my eyes, he'll fly us there. [speak gibberish to eagle]
Eagle	[stares]
King	Llama pajama llama... [pokes his eye on each syllable] pa... ja... ma.
Eagle	[stares]
King	This guy's unbelievable. You can't let him beat you in front of your own daughter. She looks up to you. Does she though? What is that supposed to mean? Did you notice, she's pretty much over your piggyback rides. She used to love those. And she went camping without you. That Marco kid's probably her boyfriend. What? No way.
	Marco and Star stare at the king.
King	My little girl isn't dating yet. Whatever. Keep lying to yourself, old man. Old? Who are you calling old?
	A siren goes off, and the king loses his focus. It is two park rangers who have come to apprehend the three. Scene changes to the ranger station. The King drops many coins on the table to pay the fine.
Star	Something is definitely goin' on with my dad.
King	Okay, everything's cool. Turns out that feathered thing was some kind of a sacred animal. Heads up would've been nice.
Ranger	You folks better get a move on if you wanna see that old geyser.
King	Who are you calling an old geezer⁈
	Scene changes. The trio is hiking again.
King	Oh. Geyser.
Star	Yes Dad, the thing Marco's been trying to see all day.
Marco	We can still make it in time. This trail should take us straight to it.
	The trail forks into a myriad of paths.
Marco	Let me see that map.
King	[crumples it up, eats it]
Marco	Is he eating the map?
King	I was hungry. Everything is food when you're struggling to survive.
Star	Except we're not on...
King	Mewni. Right. Sorry.
Marco	I'm staying positive about this. One of those trails is the right one. Maybe we'll get lucky. Eeny, meeny, miney...
	Scene changes. They are now looking at a sign that says "Old Youthful 50 Miles"
Marco	Nooooo!
King	You know what? I think this may be my fault. You kids wait right here while I score us a ride.
Marco	Oh man, if he could get us a ride, that would be...
	Scene changes to them riding a bear with four ranger vehicles and a helicopter in pursuit
	Scene changes again to the ranger station. The king pays another load of coins and his crown.
Marco	[groans]
Ranger	You'll never make it to Old Youthful now. He goes off in five minutes, and it's a ten-mile hike.
Star	I'm sorry Marco.
King	Oh, come on. What's the big deal?
Star	Dad, what is up with you?
King	Is this about the bear?
Star	No Dad. You've been acting really weird all day, and now Marco's plans are basically ruined. He really wanted to see Old Youthful.
Marco	No Star, I've seen it, like, ten times. I wanted you to see it. You've shown me all kinds of amazing stuff I never knew existed. I just wanted to pay you back. Show you something amazing here on Earth.
Star	Marco!
King	Marco.
Marco	I guess we can come back to see Old Youthful erupt some other time.
Ranger	Oh, you poor, poor boy. Didn't nobody tell you?
Marco	What?
Ranger	This here eruption is gonna be the last.
Marco	What⁈
Ranger	Those big-city scientists gave that geyser a look-see, and he's all dried up. He's been fadin' away for years. Oh, he used to be impressive. King of the geysers. But now, he's just a sad shadow of his former glory. Aged out and obsolete. Ready to retire and getting in everybody's way. Yes sir, to use clever wordplay, Old Youthful is plumb out of youth.
Marco	We should just go.
King	[dramatically] Yes, Marco. We will go... and see that geyser.
Marco	Didn't you hear what that guy said? It's impossible.
King	Is it?
Ranger	Tick-tock. [slowly] tick... tock.
King	What do you say, Star? One last piggyback ride from your old man?
	Dramatic music plays as the King carries Star on one shoulder and Marco on the other as he runs through the forest, unstopping, through the leaping deer, past the eagle's nest, jumping up a waterfall, across rocks like a goat, through the war, surviving cannon blast.
Marco	We're almost there. Just a glacier and two more war re-enactments.
Star	You hear that, Dad?
King	Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
	Scene changes. A geyser is surrounded by lots of people taking pictures. But as the King arrives, it suddenly stops and the people walk way.
King	[groaning]
Marco	No!
King	[falls face first on the ground]
Star	Dad!
King	I'm so sorry pumpkin. I let you down.
Marco	Are you out of your mind? You ran ten miles in five minutes; that's like, a hundred and fifty miles an hour.
King	I used to be able to do it in four minutes. I'm not that dad I used to be Star. You need someone younger to take care of you now. Someone like... your boyfriend Marco here.
Marco	I'm not her boyfriend. You fell up a waterfall dude! Who does that?
Star	I'm older too Dad, but I still need you. No matter how old I get, you'll always be my hero because you'll always be my dad.
King	Come here you [hugs star]
Marco	Well, it's gettin' chilly out, so what do you say we go find you some pants? [slaps the King's back]
King	[stumbles, falling on top of the geyser's crater]
	The geyser rumbles, erupting in a huge blast of water which sends the King soaring high into the sky and creates a rainbow.
Star	Wow!!
	At the ranger station
Other ranger	You gotta stop lying to the tourists about that geyser, man.
Ranger	Yeah I know, but it sure is fun.
	Back at the geyser.
Star	Marco. It's beautiful.
	The king lands on the ground, creating another huge crater. It burns away a lot of his outside.
King	Look Star.
Star	Dad. You look so young.
Marco	yeah. Fresh-out-of-the-womb young.
King	Brand new dad!
	Scene changes to the Diaz's place. Mr. Diaz is showing off the paintings he created.
Rafael	And here's the king with his arms up. [changes painting] And here's the king putting his arms down. [changes painting] And here he is walking out of the crater. [changes painting] And climbing out of the crater...
Star	This is so much better than a slide show.
	(end song)