(theme song)
Episode begins with Star covering Buff Frog's eyes.
Star Butterfly Okay! You can open your eyes now!
Buff Frog They are open already. Your hands are still in way.
Star Oh. My bad. [uncovers Buff Frog's eyes]
Buff Frog [gasps]
Camera pans across a cornball stadium, with hundreds of Mewmans and monsters in the seats and several players on the field.
Buff Frog You have brought me to cornball game? And front-row seats?
Star Not just any front-row seats. You, my friend, are the personal guest of Queen Eclipsa herself.
Eclipsa Butterfly [places bag of popcorn in Buff Frog's lap] Hi! Have you seen my baby? [lifts up Buff Frog's legs]
Star Eclipsa, this is Buff Frog.
Eclipsa Very nice to meet you. Sweetie!
Meteora is walking on the cornball field.
Meteora Butterfly [giggles]
Eclipsa [follows Meteora] Sweetie! Come back to Mommy!
Star Soooo... cornball! The greatest sport. Brings together families.
Buff Frog Star Butterfly, what are you planning?
Star Nothing. I'm just really excited to watch this game with you... and... maybe convince you to come back to Mewni.
Buff Frog Why would cornball game do that?
Star Because, Buff Frog, this isn't just any cornball game. For the first time, Mewmans and monsters will play together.
Buff Frog You mean against each other.
Star Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no. With each other! This is the first-ever integrated match! Monsters and Mewmans working together on the same teams!
Buff Frog That is terrible idea!
Star Okay-okay-okay, just hear me out. I know things were bad when you left. Like, really super, super bad. But things have changed. Thanks to Eclipsa, monsters and Mewmans are totally equal now.
Star tosses some popcorn into the air, intending to catch it in her mouth, but Buff Frog scoops them up with his long tongue.
Buff Frog Just because things have changed does not mean they are better.
Star Look, I know this is a lot to take in, but can you please just give this game a chance? For me?
Buff Frog Hmmm... All right, Star Butterfly. For you. Anyway, I cannot turn down a free cornball game.
Star [jumps] Ya-ha-hoo-hoo!
Buff Frog But beside all that, how did you even track me down? I am master spy and made sure we were untraceable.
Star I have my ways. [eats popcorn]
Buff Frog's children appear through the crowd, knocking over a male Mewman. When his cornshake goes flying through the air, Katrina catches it.
Katrina [slurps] Hi!
The Buff children sit around Star and Buff Frog.
Katrina I'm so excited to see my first cornball game!
Buff Frog Katrina, did you tell Star where we were hiding? What did I say about being master spy? You cannot let anyone know what you are doing.
Katrina Just like how you had no idea I was still in contact with Star on a daily basis?
Buff Frog One day, she will surpass me. [tears up] I am... so proud.
[P.A. system feedback]
Kelly [over P.A. system] Welcome to the first-ever monster and Mewman cornball game!
Katrina It's starting!
In the announcers' booth, Marco and Kelly are the announcers. Kelly is shouting into the microphone while Marco covers his ears.
Kelly [over P.A. system] We are so glad you could all join us today for the greatest game! Whoo-hoo! Cornball! Yeah!
Marco Diaz Ow! That's so loud!
Kelly [chuckles] Sorry, dude. I am just so hyped!
Marco Hey, nothing wrong with that. I just wish I understood the rules.
Kelly Ah, don't worry. I got you covered. Okay, so that's Selena Fortune, Mewni's number-one cob-kicker.
Marco (o.s.) Mm-hmm.
Selena Fortune warms up and kicks a cornball. Bleck Drockman catches the ball in a net.
Kelly (o.s.) Bleck Drockman, the MCL's top stickler!
Marco (o.s.) Stick, uh, what?
Two Mewman brothers appear by a small pool of water.
Kelly (o.s.) Yeah. The Cassidy brothers, they are an unstoppable moat guardian combo.
Marco (o.s.) Huh?
A Mewman girl, Danny Doom, is seen with a giant catcher's mitt, chewing bubblegum.
Kelly (o.s.) That's midfield husker Danny Doom, but that's just a nickname.
Marco (o.s.) Wait.
Blabby Frontfaws, a pig-like monster, is seen drinking water. A slime girl next to her is holding a clipboard.
Kelly (o.s.) And new up-and-comer Blabby Frontfaws! Oh, yeah.
Marco But those are just player names. I don't know what they actually do.
Kelly Hmm. Oh! I know. I have an expanded limited collector edition of the original rules and... [picks up large cornball rule book, grunts] ...regulations. It'll clear everything up.
Marco This is big.
When Marco takes the rule book from Kelly, it is so heavy that he falls to the floor.
Kelly Do... you need any help?
Marco Nah, girl. I'm super good at books.
Kelly Uh, you don't have to stay here either. You could go sit with Star if you want.
Marco No, that's okay. [picks up cornball rule book] We just got done with this whole drama with the Blood Moon Ball. It's kind of a long story, but—
Kelly [over P.A. system] If you came here to see some cornball, let me hear you scream!
Crowd [roars]
Kelly Oh, sorry, Marco. [chuckles] I'm kind of in, like, professional mode when I work, yeah. Uh, were you saying something?
Marco Nah, it's not important. You do your thing. I'll go grab us some snacks and, uh... [grunts, picks up rule book] ...skim through the rule book. [leaves booth]
Kelly Sounds good, breakup buddy. [over P.A. system] What up, sports fans? It is time to pick teams! Today's captain for the purple team is Bleck Drockman. And for the red team, Jason Sheffield.
Star [rubs hands together] Aw, yes. This is where the magic happens.
Katrina I'm so excited!
Buff Frog Let's not get hopes up.
Star [covers Buff Frog's mouth] Shhh! Let them concentrate.
Kelly [over P.A. system] And first pick for Bleck is... Blabby Frontfaws!
Blabby walks over to Bleck's side.
Kelly [over P.A. system] Bleck is going for an aggressive offense with the up-and-coming rookie.
Buff Frog So, monster picks monster.
Star Oh, it's just the first pick. I mean, come on. Look at that guy. He's built like a tank.
Kelly [over P.A. system] And Jason goes for Selena!
Selena walks over to Jason's side.
Kelly [over P.A. system] Selena is known for preferring a low-scoring game.
Buff Frog And Mewman pick Mewman.
Star Yeah... [nervous chuckle]
The team selection continues with Bleck picking monsters for her team and Jason picking Mewmans for his team. With every pick, Star looks more and more worried.
Kelly [over P.A. system] And Bleck's turn. Back to Jason. Bleck again. Now Jason. Now Bleck. Back to Jason. It looks like old alliances hold strong on the field today, folks.
Star Oh, come on! What are you doing? You guys notice anything? This is supposed to be an integrated exhibition match, but you're the super opposite of that right now! Come on! Time to mix it up, guys!
The Mewman and monster players all circle around each other and end up where they started, with Mewmans on one team and monsters on the other.
Buff Frog It is not going to be working, Star.
Katrina I don't get it. Is this part of the game?
Mewman Girl with Popsicle No.
Katrina [moans]
Star [sighs] This is gonna ruin everything. Eclipsa! What should we do?
Eclipsa Uh... Well, perhaps we should—
Meteora [snarls, pounces off-screen]
Popcorn Vendor Popcorn. Get your popcorn. [gets attacked by Meteora, screams]
Eclipsa Sweetie! What did Mommy say about preying on those weaker than you?!
Katrina I just want to watch them play.
Popsicle Girl Hey, uh, want to see something cool?
Katrina Yeah.
Popsicle Girl I just got a brand-new cornball. Want to go test it out?
Katrina Yeah! [follows popsicle girl off-screen]
Star Come on! This can't be that hard! You guys have so much in common!
Mewman Player Like what, even?
Star Uh, what about... monsters and Mewmans both love cornball!
Danny Doom She's right.
Mewman Man 1 But Mewmans love cornball way more! In fact, Mewmans love cornball so much, we invented it!
Monster 1 Hey, even if that were true – which it's not – monsters perfected cornball!
Mewman Man 1 (o.s.) Why don't you come here and say that to my face?!
Mewmans and monsters in the crowd all start to argue.
Buff Frog I am not liking this vibe.
Kelly [groans] They are ruining the spirit of cornball!
Marco Hey, got you a cornshake.
Kelly No time for cornshakes, Marco! I got to go save cornball! [runs out of the booth]
Marco Hey, uh, wait. W-Who's gonna announce?
Kelly Oh, yeah. Uh, cover for me, okay? If you have any questions, check the manual. [takes cornshake from Marco and kisses his cheek]
Marco [blushes] Right. Just... check the manual. [opens rule book] Chapter 1...
Mewman Man 2 The first-ever cornball players were Mewman. That's a fact.
Monster 2 Oh, yeah? Where did you read that? A Mewman history book?
The horned monster's child looks sad. Several Mewman and monster kids run past him.
Mewman Boy 1 Hey, you want to come too?
Monster Girl Come where?
Mewman Boy 1 To... [whispers in monster girl's ear]
Monster Girl Wow! Really?
Mewman Boy 1 Yeah! Follow me!
Star [looking at crowd] Oh, come on. Guys! Guys, cut it out! Magic Bubble Double Diffusion!
Star catches several arguing Mewmans and monsters in bubbles.
Monster 3 What's happening?!
Man in Crowd 3 Whatever's going on is your fault!
Star [groans, runs off-screen]
Bleck Drockman and Jason Sheffield face off while holding net sticks.
Crowd [booing]
Star You guys need to cool it! Would it really kill you to just give each other a chance?
Bleck Drockman The only thing I'm giving this guy is a piece of my mind!
Jason Sheffield Yeah, forget cornball! [tosses net stick on the ground] Let's settle this the old-fashioned way!
Other Players [chanting] Fight, fight, fight, fight!
Star Guys...
Buff Frog Do not bother, Star. It was good for you to be trying, but I knew Mewni was not ready for this kind of thing.
Star No, no-no-no! I know things look bad now, but we can't give up yet! Eclipsa! Show Buff Frog how much you care about monster-Mewman unity.
Eclipsa What? Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I'm afraid I'm still looking for Meteora. I don't want her running off on her own if a brawl breaks out.
Buff Frog Yes. This place is no longer safe for the children. It is time for me to leave.
Star But, Buff Frog—
Buff Frog But nothing. I refuse to put my family in danger. Katrina! Buff children! We leave now!
Conjoined Buff children Alexei and Anya appear with cornball jerseys.
Alexei 'Sup, Dad?
Buff Frog Alexei, Anya, where are your brothers and sisters?
Alexei At the cornball game.
Buff Frog What? Where?
Anya Not that game. The other game.
Alexei Yeah, the actually fun one.
Alexei and Anya run off.
Buff Frog The other game?
Star, Eclipsa, and Buff Frog follow Alexei and Anya behind the stadium, where numerous Mewman and monster kids are playing cornball together.
Star Whoa!
Children [laughing, whooping]
Star They're playing... cornball.
In the announcers' booth, Marco has covered the walls in cornball rules and diagrams.
Marco Okay, okay, so... so if a kicker kicks with his left leg and scores, that's three points. But if it's raining on a Tuesday, then that's four points. I get it! It's so simple!
Children [exclaiming]
Marco Huh? What? Where's that coming from?
Marco pulls away one of the diagrams covering the booth's rear window and sees the children playing cornball.
Marco [gasps] The game's over here now?! [clears diagrams away] Aw! How did I miss this? All right, uh... [picks up microphone] And they're off! The red team's hitting the offense hard with a classic, uh, creepy crop circle formation! And the game's really starting to heat up, folks!
Mewmans and monsters gather around Star, Buff Frog, and Eclipsa to watch the children's game.
Marco [over P.A. system] Team Red's going all in with the beanbag blitz! Team Purple counters with a hula hoop hustle!
Monster Woman Hey, they made my Jeanie third kicksmith.
Mewman Man 2 That's cute. They made my kid first kicksmith.
Marco [over P.A. system] He's got it!
Crowd [cheering]
Meteora appears among several other babies watching the game.
Meteora [giggles, claps hands]
Eclipsa [gasps] There you are! [picks up Meteora] Well, all's well that ends well.
Selena Fortune [holding a camera] Jordie, smile for Mommy!
Mewman Man 4 Go get 'em, Lexxy!
Marco [over P.A. system] Here come the huckster hurdles! They're clearing one... two... three! They nailed it! Got some great monster-Mewman teamwork here!
Star [to Buff Frog] Hey, your kid's got moves.
Marco [over P.A. system] We've got some air time—! Nope! Interception! By the moat guardian! And he's tossing to his tenth baseman!
Monster Girl This is for you, David! I'll always love you!
Referee [blows whistle]
Marco Wait. What's going on here?
Kelly [appears from off-screen] Oh! That's rule 23: no shout-outs to exes on the field!
Marco [over P.A. system] Oh, yeah! That makes no sense at all.
Kelly [over P.A. system] And it's the final play?!
Marco What?!
Kelly [over P.A. system] One more cross-field goal could mean... What's this?!
Marco [over P.A. system] Katrina steals the ball!
Kelly [over P.A. system] Ohhhhhh!
Marco [over P.A. system] Looks like Team Red has it in the bag, folks!
Kelly [over P.A. system] Katrina's bookin' it towards the goal! She's got a clear shot! She's going for it!
The last goal kick is intercepted by a net catch.
All [gasps]
Kelly [over P.A. system] It is a corn... in... the... hooooooole!
Marco What does that mean?
Kelly It means they just scored 15 points! They won!
Marco 15 points?! What kind of rule is—? You know what? I give up.
The players cheer and pick up the kid who scored the final catch. They all shake each other's hands.
Referee Good game! It was so much fun!
Mewman Boy 1 That was awesome!
Mewman Boy 2 Great job!
Buff Child Yeah, we should do it again!
Monster 2 Hey, your kid played a pretty amazing game.
Mewman Woman And your kid's got quite the kick... for a monster.
Monster 2 What did you say?
Mewman Woman Oh, come on. You people get offended by anything!
Monster 2 I'm not just gonna stand here while you belittle my... [fades]
Mewman Woman [simultaneously] I'm sorry! I didn't realize... [fades]
Star And we're back to this. [goes up to Katrina] Hey, Katrina, everything okay?
Katrina Yeah. I just wish we could've won.
Buff Frog Guess we will need rematch.
Katrina But cornball is only played on Mewni.
Buff Frog Then I guess we will have to stay.
Star and Katrina What?!
Katrina [hugs Buff Frog] Thanks, Dad!
Star Buff Frog, are you serious?
Buff Frog I still have doubts, but this game has filled me with hope.
Katrina I'm gonna go tell everyone! [runs off]
Star But the adults are still angry with each other.
Buff Frog Da. Our generation is garbage.
Eclipsa appears holding Meteora.
Buff Frog But the little ones...
Meteora [giggles]
Buff Frog They might turn out okay.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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