(theme song)
Scene opens at the Diazes' house; it is night. Star Butterfly peeks into Marco Diaz's room as he sleeps. She then proceeds to run down the stairs. She arrives in the kitchen, and pulls a box of cereal out of the cupboard.
Star [reading Marco's sticky notes] "Don't touch! I will find out!" Sure you will, Marco. [pours herself a bowl] Sure you will. Heh-heh-heh.
Star is hit by a blast of light and encapsulated inside a crystal. The bowl of cereal falls to the ground. Rhombulus walks over to Star, struggling to pick her up. He drops her crystal on his foot.
Rhombulus Unh!
Marco [turns on light, sees Rhombulus] Uh...
Marco is also hit by a blast and crystallized.
Rhombulus Really? [groans] All right. [opens portal, grabs Star] One... [grabs Marco] ...and two. Thanks for nothing.
The scene changes to a different dimension filled with crystals.
Rhombulus Chancellor Lekmet!
Chancellor Lekmet [appears from behind wall of crystal, bleats]
Rhombulus [kneels] My liege. I come bearing an offering of great momentousness should it please thee.
Lekmet [bleats]
Rhombulus Uh, well, it's kinda heavy. I was hoping that thee could come down here to see it.
Lekmet [sighs]
The chancellor sits down in a stair lift, which then mechanically begins to move down the stairs. It gets stuck.
Rhombulus Oh, dang! Is that on the fritz too? Oh, hang on. I've got you. [picks up Lekmet] So, um, speaking of the interdimensional fritz?
Lekmet Baaaa?
Rhombulus I've been doing some digging on my own and, uh, I think I've found what's causing it.
Lekmet [bleats]
Rhombulus Stay right there. I present to you the source of the fritz. [reveals Star trapped in crystal]
Lekmet [shocked] Baaaa!
Rhombulus Evidence? I've got your evidence right here. My gut told me she's evil, so I took her out. Boom! No more fritz.
Lekmet [weary bleating]
Rhombulus Yeah, I know she's Queen Butterfly's daughter, but...
Lekmet [bleats]
Rhombulus Okay, t-that kinda hurt. I know it came from a good place, you know, but...
The sock covering Rhombulus's left arm breaks open, revealing a snake.
Left Arm [pants] Okay, Chancellor, for the record, we had nothing to do with this.
The right sock busts open, revealing another snake arm.
Right Arm [grunts, pants] Yeah, we told him it was a horrible plan, but Rockhead here didn't wanna hear it.
Left Arm He never listens to us!
Right Arm But he would listen to you, Lekmet!
Left Arm Tell him, Chancellor!
Right Arm Tell him!
Lekmet [stressfully bleats]
Rhombulus Okay, everybody just calm down! [to Lekmet] Why don't you sit? I'll grab you a glass of warm milk, and then we can talk this out like rational people.
Rhombulus opens up a refrigerator, and Marco falls out.
Lekmet [panicked bleating]
Rhombulus Shoot! I forgot I put him there. Okay, so I actually don't know who this is. A servant maybe? A very tall dwarf? But he's definitely evil. Gut's honor.
Lekmet [bleats grimly, snorts]
Rhombulus You'll what? Oh, please don't call the Magical High Commission.
Lekmet [bleats]
Rhombulus You... you think we should make other living arrangements?
Lekmet Uh-huh.
Rhombulus But... who's gonna take care of you?
Lekmet [starts walking away]
Rhombulus Lekmet, no. Stop! Please!
Lekmet pulls on a curtain cord, revealing an interdimensional mirror with a number pad.
Lekmet [sighs]
Rhombulus You'll ruin everything!
Lekmet [stars dialing a number]
Rhombulus Stop! Stop! Guuuuhh! [crystallizes Lekmet]
Left Arm Dude! You just crystallized the High Chancellor!
Right Arm Do you have any idea how much trouble we are in?!
Rhombulus Stop yelling at me! Look, I just really need a win right now. I mean, you guys are my hands! You're supposed to be on my side! Can't you just...? [sighs]
Right Arm Hey. I bet a few reps would clear your head. [gestures to weightlifting table]
Rhombulus Huh. You know, that's not a bad idea.
Right Arm [looking in the corner of his eyes] Bench presses, couple of bicep curls. Hmm?
Rhombulus What are you lookin' at? Huh?
The left arm is holding a baseball bat.
Rhombulus What? No! Uh! Hey!
The right arm starts redialing. The left arm swings, misses Rhombulus, and hits the right arm. Rhombulus runs, smashing his arms against various crystal structures. In the end, he crystallizes both of them.
Rhombulus [pants] Oh, man... [sees Lekmet] Oh, geez! [walks backwards, bumping into Star] You! I know you're the source! I can feel it!
Rhombulus uncrystallizes Star from the neck up.
Star Huh?
Rhombulus Why did you cause the fritz?!
Star [screams]
Rhombulus No! No no no no! [recrystallizes Star] I really just can't take any more yelling today. [uncrystallizes Star's head]
Star [screams]
Rhombulus [quickly] Princess, my name is Rhombulus, I work with your mom, and I need you to answer one question!
Star Rhombulus? Oh, ohh! You're the time-out guy.
Rhombulus What? Who calls me that? I bet it's Glossaryck, isn't it?
Star Omnitraxus calls you that too. And my mom and dad. Really all of the members of the Magic High Commission call you that. Time-out guy.
Rhombulus Oh, never mind! Why are you causing the fritz?
Star What's the fritz?
Rhombulus The leak! The reason why nothing's working up here?
Star I don't know.
Rhombulus Oh! Something has been draining the power of magic from the universe. [flips a switch] See? Crystal orbs are down. And then there's the green hole over there.
A green hole swirls in the sky over the dimension of crystal.
Star Yeah, that part definitely looks broken.
Rhombulus And look at the crystal I trapped Lekmet in. This stuff used to be hard as diamonds. Now it's like... rock candy or something.
Star I'm sorry your powers are all crazy, but it's not me.
Rhombulus You have to be the source! You see all these guys? [gestures to a large field of crystallized monsters] My gut told me they were evil, so I crystallized them. There's Zedlord, who blew up an entire planet. Astrobell and the black hole she created. Stopped that one just in time. Oh, and then there's pizza delivery guy. Delivered the pizza to the wrong address. Then of course, I am most proud of the evil twins [gestures to two gems in his chest] John and Jack. They're pretty hard to tell apart, but one of them was definitely evil. This is what I do. I find the source of evil, and I encase it in crystal forever.
Star So your snake hands. They're evil too?
Rhombulus What? No, they're my hands.
Star And what about my friend Marco? What did he do exactly?
Rhombulus Oh, him? Well...
Star And what about that old goat man? Is he evil?
Rhombulus [scoffs] There's nothing evil about Lekmet. He's the most pure-hearted, hard-working angel goat demon there ever was.
Star Well, why did you crystallize him then? Hmm?
Rhombulus [no response]
Star Look, time-out guy, I think you need to think stuff through a little more before you rely on your gut. It's making you crystallize innocent people.
Rhombulus Maybe you're right. I thought I could trust you, gut!
Rhombulus starts punching himself and wrecking more crystal structures. Some of the debris breaks open the pizza delivery guy.
Pizza Delivery Guy I'm free! [runs away]
Rhombulus [grumbles, sits on weightlifting bench] I've been wrong about everything lately. The commission thinks I'm a joke. I thought I could find the source of the fritz, my hands and I could earn the appreciation of the Magical High Commission again.
During Rhombulus's monologue, Star wiggles out of her crystal. She lifts her feet out of the crystal and sees that they are bare. She wiggles her toes.
Star What? [sees her socks trapped] Aw, man.
Rhombulus I actually crystallized Lekmet. And I love Lekmet! [sobs crystal tears]
Star [holding his tears to her ears] Ooh, pretty!
Rhombulus I'm gonna be in time-out for the next ten thousand years. Oh, Glossaryck is gonna have a field day with that. Let me tell you.
Star Ah, I wouldn't worry 'bout him. He's not coming back.
Rhombulus What? Glossaryck's gone?
Star Oh! [chuckles] Uh, yeah...
Rhombulus Glossaryck's gone? This is amazing! I mean, it's actually really bad. [chuckles] But it's good for me. But yeah, wow. That's bad news for the universe.
Star Why?
Rhombulus The thing about Glossaryck is he may be a jerk, but he's the most powerful all-knowing magic jerk in the universe. That's why I can never win an argument with him.
Star He's just so hard to deal with, right? Even when I tried to rescue him, he didn't want to come back.
Rhombulus You know that fancy crystal in his head? I gave it to him! But did he ever thank me? No.
Star Every time we got donuts, he just sat on them. [sighs] What a waste of donuts.
Rhombulus You know, I made some donuts for a meeting yesterday, and I think there's some left over. Uh... you want any?
The two sit down at an impromptu table made out of Marco's crystallized form. Rhombulus hands Star the box of donuts.
Star Ooh. You know, you shouldn't feel so down on yourself Rhombulus. [holding crystal donut] Your crystals are really pretty.
Star bites into the crystal donut, hurting her teeth.
Star Ow!
Rhombulus Close your eyes for a minute.
Star Okay. [closes eyes]
Rhombulus Now open!
Star [opens eyes] Oh.
Rhombulus Here.
Rhombulus hands Star one of the evil twins gems.
Star Ooh. Is that evil twin Jack?
Rhombulus It could be. Either way, I want you to have it.
Star Thank you, Rhombulus.
Rhombulus So, I guess you've got to turn me in, right? I mean, crystallizing the princess is kind of a big deal.
Star Uh, not necessarily. Okay, look, if you don't tell the Magic High Commission about Glossaryck or the Magic Book of Spells and how I lost both of them, then I won't tell them about this. [clinks on Marco]
Rhombulus Really?
Star Yeah.
Rhombulus Deal.
Star What about the old goat man?
Rhombulus Well, don't worry about him. I'm the only one who can understand what he says.
Star Also, I need my socks back.
The scene changes back to the Diazes' house. Star jumps through a portal carrying crystallized Marco on her back.
Star [grunts] Ooh, phew.
Rhombulus Hey. Thank you Princess.
Star W-w-w-wait! You still gotta unfreeze him.
Rhombulus Oh, yeah.
Rhombulus uncrystallizes Marco and leaves. He falls to the ground head first.
Marco Ow!
Star Good morning, Marco!
Marco Star, what happened? You were in this ice cube. And there was this big guy, and he had a big square head!
Star [laughs, spoons cereal into Marco's mouth] What a funny dream, Marco.
Marco Mmm! Blech! Were these on the floor?
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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