(theme song)
Episode begins with a puppet show with a Princess Moon marionette and a songstrel's voiceover.
BGM [Perfect Princess Moon]
Songstrel ♪ Perfect Princess Moon, she's great in every way ♪
♪ Everything she says and does is absolutely right ♪
♪ Her hair is silky soft, her favorite color's pink ♪
♪ She flosses every day and she never needs to sleep! ♪
♪ The perfect Princess Moon, she's nice in every way ♪
♪ Always in a sunny mood, even on the cloudy days ♪
♪ Her sugar-coated heart of gold will make everything fine ♪
♪ She plays with puppies and kisses kitty-cats ♪
♪ Eats her veggies and smells like lavender ♪
♪ Perfect Princess Moon, she's a fan of smiles ♪
♪ Perfect Princess Moon will be our Que-ee-e-e-e-een! ♪
Moon Butterfly [clapping]
Star Butterfly [on interdimensional mirror] Ugghh! Mom! Worst. Song. Ever. Do I have to have one of those written about me?
Moon Yes, Star. It's a tradition as old as the kingdom itself. And it's your official introduction as future queen to the people of Mewni.
Star That song didn't say anything about the real you. You could plug any name into that song, and it wouldn't make a lick of difference. How about... [sarcastic] Buttercup! Sparkle! Snowflake! They all happen to love puppies and smell like lavender? Wow.
Moon I don't have time for this, Star. Preparations for your Song Day celebration are already underway, and the new official songstrel of Mewni is heading to Earth to write your song as we speak.
Star [groans] Fine.
Moon And remember, Star, the people of Mewni like their Princess Songs light and fluffy. Can you handle that?
Star Yes, Mom. [closes mirror curtains] Oh, I can handle it – by avoiding this problem until it goes away.
Laser puppies [barking]
Scene cuts back to King River and Queen Moon in Mewni.
River Butterfly Moon, please. If I can't talk you out of going, at least take a bunch of our knights with you!
Moon I told you, River, this has to stay low-key, under the radar. Besides, I've been there before. It's perfectly safe.
River The Forest of Certain Death is not safe! And likely nothing on Mewni is as safe as it used to be.
Moon I promise you, I can handle myself. [kisses River's cheek and gives him her crown] Hold down the castle until I return.
River [sets Moon's crown down behind him] Can't you just take one little knight?
River turns around. Moon is gone. He looks out the window and sees her trotting away on warnicornback.
River [echoing] At least call me when you get there!
Scene cuts back to Earth. A dimensional portal opens down the street from the Diaz Household, and a carriage of manticores comes out. Ruberiot comes out of the carriage and rings the Diaz Household doorbell.
Star [answers door] Ha-ha. The songstrel.
Ruberiot Greetings, Princess Star! I am Ruberiot. [plays lute]
♪ And may I just say ♪
♪ Though we have much to do ♪
♪ How much of a pleasure it is to meet you ♪
♪ I'll write you a— ♪
Star Stop. I get it. Come in.
Ruberiot So, this shouldn't take too long. [takes out pad and pencil] I just want to get to know the real Star.
Star Oh, how rude of me! [laughs] I didn't even offer you anything. What can I get you? Water? Juice? Tea?
Ruberiot Ha. Well, if you have mint tea, that might be—
Star As a matter of fact, we do! Marco is a member of the Tea of the Month Club, and I think we just got some super-special mint tea. Right, Marco? Don't move!
Marco Diaz [flipping TV channels] Tea of the Month Club?
Star goes into the kitchen and makes various "tea-making" noises: opening and closing cupboards, tossing teabags, etc.
Star Should be just a minute!
Marco and Ruberiot sit motionless on the couch. Ruberiot starts strumming his lute. Marco turns up the volume on the TV.
Star Oh, this tea is real good! [summons Cloudy]
Cloudy Hey, Star!
Star Cloudy! Let's get out of here. [takes out phone and flies toward mall] Hey, Janna Banana, want to go to the mall?
Scene cuts to the Forest of Certain Death; Queen Moon and her warnicorn walk through.
Warnicorn [whinnies, steps on bones]
A Venus flytrap-like monster on the ground opens its maw.
Moon Easy, girl. Almost there.
Moon and her warnicorn jump over the flytrap monster, and its mouth snaps closed. They continue on to a small villa with a red roof and a large tree growing through it. Moon gets off her unicorn and knocks on the boarded-up door.
Lord Brudo [in a low-hanging door slot] What is it?
Moon Hello, Lord Brudo.
Brudo Huh? Queen Moon. Hmph. What do you want?
Moon I need to speak with you. It's very important.
Brudo [grumbles] Step back. [unlocks door] Hmm. Ahem. You... you coming here to what?
Moon Eh, you're... you're blocking the door.
Brudo I'll move. Geez. [squeezes through door and drops crown]
Moon [enters house]
Brudo Not even gonna pick up a guy's crown for him. [picks up crown, closes door, and drops crown again] [grumbling] My dear, we have company. You may want to get dressed.
Lady Avarius Oh, Queen Moon! To what do we owe the, uh, honor of this visit?
Moon I'm sorry to intrude. Please accept this bag of corn.
Brudo Corn?! We don't need corn! We're doing great, thanks!
Avarius But perhaps we can find someone else who could use it! [slips bag of corn into her cloak] So, what brings you here, Queen Moon?
Moon I'm here because your son took a very important book from my family.
Avarius My son? Which one? Crudo?
Moon Eh, no.
Avarius Not Yudo!
Moon Mm-mmm.
Avarius Menudo?
Moon Uh, nope.
Avarius Ugh. Okay, I'm just gonna go down the list. Dudo, Kudo, Mudo, Tudo, Fudo, Zudo, Udo...
Moon I have no idea who that is.
Avarius Not Dennis!
Dennis [peeks out from behind a chair]
Moon No, no, it's... it's Ludo.
Avarius [gasps] Ludo?! Well, w-we don't say that name in this house anymore! Not since he and his goons took over our castle and changed the locks when we were on vacation! N-Not that this place isn't lovely...
Moon Do you know where he is now?
Avarius We don't. You know, he is a grave disappointment to us.
Brudo Well, what do you expect?! We had a lot of kids. Ludo was the runt. He didn't even fit in our family portrait. We were extra hard on him to toughen him up. And look what happened! Was he grateful? No! Instead, he destroyed our ancestral home and brought shame on the family name!
Moon There, there. We can't always control the path our children choose to take.
Cut to Moon leaving Brudo and Avarius' residence.
Moon Thank you, Lord and Lady Avarius. If you hear from Ludo, please let me know. [trots away]
Dennis watches from the villa as Red leaves. Cut back to Diaz Household.
Ruberiot ♪ Where is Princess Star? ♪
♪ Has she traveled far? ♪
♪ I am very musically skilled ♪
♪ But if I don't write this, I'll surely be ki— ♪
The door opens.
Ruberiot Hey!
Star stands in the doorway wearing a sun hat and sunglasses and carrying a purse.
Marco and Ruberiot You're back!
Star You're still here. ...Well, goodbye. [turns around to leave]
Ruberiot Please! Princess! [kneels on the ground] I have a job to do, and I can't leave until it's done.
Star And I won't stay until you're gone.
Ruberiot But... what about your Song Day celebration? In just a day, the people of Mewni will be expecting us to perform the traditional Princess Song—
Star Ah-ah-ah-ah! I don't want to hear it, songstrel. If you don't leave right now, maybe I'll leave for good.
Marco Hey, Star! Before you leave us alone again—for a very long time with no explanation—could you help me make some more popcorn in the kitchen? [moves off-screen] Kit-chen!
Star joins Marco in the kitchen and gives the "I'm-watching-you" signal to Ruberiot.
Marco Please. Just do what he says. He's been singing at me for eight hours, asking where you are!
Star Well, I'm sorry, but I don't want anything to do with Ruberiot and his stupid Princess Songs. My mom's was so stupid and so fake and so old-fashioned – it's just not me.
Marco It's okay, Star. Everyone knows you're anything but ordinary.
Star Aww. Thanks, Marco. [hugs Marco] Huuuugs. ...He's, uh... he's staring at us, isn't he?
Ruberiot [stares at Marco and Star from the couch]
Marco Yup.
Star Ugghh! Fine. Ru-ber-i-ot – if that even is your real name – You. Me. My room. Talk time.
Scene cuts back to Queen Moon in the Forest of Certain Death. Something stalks her from the treetops.
Moon I know you're there. Come on out if you know what's good for you.
Dennis drops out from the trees in front of Moon.
Moon What do you want?
Dennis It's me. Dennis. You were just at my house.
Moon Why are you following me?
Dennis Are you looking for my big brother because you want to help him?
Moon Help him what?
Dennis He's not well.
Moon Do you know where he is?
Dennis I can take you to him. [kneels down with his back to Moon]
Moon Oh, uh... what is this?
Dennis We must go by wing, M'lady.
Moon Oh. ...All right, then, well, let me just... hold on... [gasping]
Dennis takes off into the air with Moon on her back and heads into the mountains. They rest on a mountaintop adjacent to Ludo's monster temple.
Dennis He's over there.
Moon uses her telescopes to see Ludo stirring broth in a pot.
Moon What is that?
She sees Ludo taste the soup with the wand.
Moon [deep gasp]
Dennis What is it?
Moon We have to go. We have to go now.
Ludo briefly looks straight at the camera. Scene cuts to black, then to Star's bedroom.
Ruberiot It's an honor to be your official songstrel, your Highness. I have some really exciting ideas that I can't wait to get your opinion on.
Star Ruby, just stop. Please. I know my mom sent you here, but honestly, I am sorry, I can't help you. Princess Songs are objectively awful. They are these trite little puff pieces about perfect little princesses with perfect little lives, and that's not me! And songstrels like you are part of the problem! Your music just puts pressure on future princesses to be perfect! So you might as well take your stupid notebook and your stupid lute and go back to Mewni, because I have no interest in helping some stupid hack write a stupid Princess Song!
Ruberiot ...Oh, really?
Star Yeah, really!
Ruberiot Fine. [tosses pad and pen away] But for what it's worth, I also think the songstrels before me were hacks. You didn't think I had an opinion? That maybe I had some integrity? I wanted to write a real song about a real princess with all her gifts and flaws. [pulls Star's mirror curtain] Don't Mewmans deserve to know their future queen? [voice cracking] But you won't even help me do my job! [sniffling] I might as well just take your mom's song and just plug your name in and be done with it! You know, like some kind of hack! [leaves through dimensional portal]
Star Wait! Ah, no! No-no-no-no-no! Ruby!
Scene cuts back to the Forest of Certain Death; Dennis sets Moon down next to her warnicorn.
Dennis So, can you help him?
Moon I'll... I'll do what I can. [rides away]
Scene cuts to Ruberiot's house; he sits in front of a piano.
Ruberiot ♪ Perfect Princess Star is great in every way... ♪
♪ Perfect Princess Star is— ♪
Argggh! [slams head on piano keys] It's so awful! [makes discordant note clusters with his face]
♪ Stupid Princess Song! ♪
♪ Why do I even try? ♪
Face it, Ruberiot. You are a hack like all the rest. [crumples sheet music and tosses it away] You'll never amount to anything!
Star Whoa. So you're, like, a totally tortured artist. Cool! That is a lot of paper just to plug a name into a previously existing song.
Ruberiot [soft gasp] What do you want?
Star You, uh... you forgot your stupid notebook. Ruberiot, do you really hate Princess Songs as much as I do?
Ruberiot I do, Princess. I-I thought I could change them. I-I know they can be better. I can do better. But the show is tomorrow, and I have nothing! If I go out there with your mom's old song, I'll be just as bad as all the others. [sighs] This is bad. Why did I drop out of lawstrel school? Good-bye, aspirations. Hello, flipping cornburgers.
Star Ruberiot, nothing is that bad when you have a magic wand. How about you and I turn this silly tradition into something real?
Queen Moon storms into her bedroom and removes her cloak while walking toward the large curtain. She uses her magic to move the curtains away, revealing a door. The diamonds on her cheeks glow, and the diamonds on her gem glow, opening the doors to reveal a suit of armor. Moon suits herself up in the armor.
River Moon, darling! You're back!
Moon [draws two swords]
River You're wearing that to Star's Song Day?
Moon [gasps] Song Day...!
At nightfall, a crowd of Mewmans assembles in the Butterfly castle courtyard, purchasing Star and Marco merchandise.
Salespony 1 Get your corn slaw here! We got corndogs, kettle corn, bacon-wrapped corn...
Salary 2 Get your exclusive Star Butterfly merch here!
Rhombulus, Lekmet, Hekapoo, and Omnitraxus Prime are seen in the royal seating box. Moon and River join them.
River [panting]
Moon [sighs] Whew. Okay. We made it.
River Oh, you lost one of your curlybadoos, dear. [puts curl on side of Queen Butterlfly back in place]
Star and Marco enter.
Star Hey, everyone! Mom, hi!
Marco Hey, Queen.
Star Oh, my gosh, I had the worst wardrobe malfunction. Do you know how hard it is to find a decent shoulder tassel in an Earth mall? Oh. Hey. You got a little thingy in your hair. [points at Moon's hair]
Moon A what?
Star A little... thingy-thing. [pulls twig out of Moon's hair]
Moon Oh.
Star How'd that get there?
Moon [takes twig from Star] Thank you, dear. ...Star, I want to tell you something.
Star I know it's not very princess-like to show up late, but did you see traffic on the Royal Mile?
Moon Please, let me finish. I just want to say how... how proud I am of you.
Star What?
Moon I know Princess Songs aren't exactly your cup of tea, and I know I can be... hard on you sometimes, so it means a lot to me that you still went through with it.
Star Thanks, Mom. But, uh... just so you know, Ruby and me, we kinda changed some stuff. I mean, it's just not gonna sound exactly like your Princess Song did. So, you know, don't freak out or anything.
Moon Thank you for telling me, Star, but I trust your judgment.
Star Ohhhh, thank you! But we really went off-script. It's all good, but there might be, like—
Announcer And now, Mewni's newest court composer, the songstrel Ruberiot...
Audience [applause]
Announcer ...in honor of the Royal Family...
A spotlight shines on Star, Moon, and River.
Star I really hope you like it. I think I know you will, but I really hope you do.
A marionette of Star Butterfly is lowered onto the stage near Ruberiot.
Announcer ...presents Star Butterfly's Princess Song!
BGM [The Ballad of Star Butterfly]
Ruberiot [playing lute music]
♪ Who is the maid with the buttercup hair? ♪
♪ Who sleeps on moonbeams and dances on air ♪
♪ With tears made of honey and a heart full of bunnies ♪
♪ Whose infinite virtues are known near and far ♪
♪ It's Mewni's own sweetheart, our dear Princess Star ♪

♪ And under the shimmer and rubies and pearls ♪
♪ Lies hidden a fierce and adventurous girl ♪
♪ The forces of evil that lurk in the night ♪
♪ Will cower in fear when this shooting Star... ♪
♪ ...ignites! ♪ [smashes lute on the ground]

Audience [gasps]
Ruberiot tears his clothes away to reveal a glam rock outfit, and he takes out an electric guitar.
Ruberiot [playing propulsive rock]
♪ Weaving magic like a born spell-caster ♪
♪ And wreaking havoc like a natural disaster ♪
♪ She rocks her Narwhal Blast and Warnicorn Stampede ♪
♪ She's gonna earn her crown, so hail to the Quee-e-e-en! ♪
Audience [cheering]
Ruberiot ♪ 'Cause she's a rebel princess, she's the best ♪
♪ She's a ball of lightning in a hot pink dress ♪
♪ She's a thunderstorm roaring through the night ♪
♪ She's our shooting Star, and she's lighting up the sky! ♪
♪ Oooh ♪
Rhombulus Yeah! That's my girl!
Moon What a delightful little ditty! Good job, Star!
Star Oh, yay. It's not over yet.
Ruberiot [playing slow, heavy beat]
♪ Shooting Star shining in the night so bright ♪
♪ She started to attract a pair of envious eyes ♪
♪ The villain rose up from behind the jester's cross
♪ She drove him away, but didn't know what she had lost ♪

Glossaryck and her book of spells ♪
♪ How could she know Ludo would take 'em for himself? ♪
♪ She confessed to her parents, all full of dread ♪
♪ The king and queen exchanged a look, and this is what they said ♪
♪ This is what they said, this is what they said: ♪

♪ "We will keep your silence for you ♪
♪ From the citizens of Mewni and the High Commission too ♪
♪ To keep the peace, we will play the game ♪
♪ Royal secret from royal shame ♪
♪ Royal secret from royal shame" ♪

Moon Star?
Star [strained noises]
Moon Star.
Star Mom, what did you expect? I told you I couldn't do some puff piece. I had to do what felt right for me. [sighs] Look, it's over now, so we just gotta move on— wait, what?
Ruberiot ♪ Royal secret – one last to tell ♪
♪ A princess under true love's spell ♪
A marionette of Marco joins the Star marionette on stage.
Star [gasps]
Marco Wait, is that me?!
Star Uhhh, Ruberiot never told me about this part!
A spotlight shines on Star and Marco, and they lean away from the light.
Ruberiot ♪ Who is the boy in the earthly attire? ♪
♪ The prince of the princess's deepest desire ♪
♪ I don't need to show it, I think we all know it ♪
♪ But just to be certain, I'll say it again ♪

♪ Star Butterfly is in love with her best friend! ♪
♪ [quickly] And his name is Marco Diaz. ♪

Star [mortified] Oh, no.
Ruberiot ♪ Foreeeeeeveeeeeermooooooooooooooooooooore! ♪
Audience [confused chatter]
Ruberiot Hey. What's wrong? You're supposed to be clapping.
Audience Member 1 Say what?! The Queen lied to us!
Audience Member 2 Well, technically, it was a lie by omission.
Audience Member 3 Omitters!
Audience [angry yelling and booing]
The audience starts throwing food at Star, Marco, Moon, River, and the Magic High Commission. They take shelter inside the throne room.
Star Mom! I-I didn't realize this would happen! I thought they wanted to know the real Star Butterfly!
Moon They don't, Star. They just want to believe that you're a perfect little princess. And sometimes, the truth is dangerous.
Hekapoo With all due respect, Moon, withholding information about Glossaryck and the spell book has put us all in danger!
Lekmet [bleating]
Rhombulus Uh, y-yeah! Like the goat said! [chuckles nervously]
Moon I assure you, I had every intention of—!
Hekapoo Every intention of what?!
Moon I had everything under control!
Hekapoo How dare you hide something like that?!
Moon I wasn't trying to hide anything!
Moon and Hekapoo [argument continues in background]
Marco Uhhhhh... so—
Star [backs away] Hold that thought, Marco.
Star goes up to a nearby window and summons Cloudy.
Cloudy Hey, Star!
Star H-Hey, Cloudy. Let's, uh, get out of here.
Star and Cloudy fly away.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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