Fetch/Transcript

	The scene opens in the park with Marco trying to stick a straw into a juice box.
Marco Diaz	Okay Diaz, you got this. Aim it at the little... [the straw becomes scrunched, angry muttering] All right, going again. [laser puppy jumps on juice box] Hey, this is hard enough already. Star, can you please get control of these puppies? I'm trying to focus.
Star Butterfly	Oh yeah yeah yeah, no problem. Totally. Come on guys. I believe in you, Marco.
Marco	Star, I'm concentrating.
Star	Right, right, right, right, right. Okay, I'll be quiet. Even if no one else does... I believe.
Marco	Got it. I'm trying to focus. [mirror rings] Ugh. Just answer it please.
Star	Ugh. [opens mirror] Hey mom.
Queen	Star, your Aunt Felicity still hasn't received her thank-you card for the lovely necklace she sent you.
Marco	Grr, just give me the juice!
Star	Yeah, I can't right now Mom. Things are happening.
Queen	You said that the last time...
Star	[closes mirror] Marco, did you free the nectar from the juice cocoon?
	The puppies start shooting lasers.
Marco	Get the puppies out of the way.
Star	Oh, stop it puppies. Here [grabs her wand], go fetch [throws it]. Oh no!
Marco	Did you just throw your wand?
Star	I threw my wand. The poo-poo bin! No, no, no! [bounces off the trash can into a bush] Oh, thank Mewni. Saved by the bush. [wand is pulled into bush] What? [reaches for it] Got it. [pulls out dog holding wand in mouth, screams] Oh, you're just a doggie. For a second, I thought you were a gargoyle. Thank you for bringing me my wand [touches the wand].
Dog	[growls]
Star	Ooh! [touches the wand]
Dog	[growls]
Star	I can just...
Dog	[growls]
Star	Let me just get...
Dog	[growls]
Star	All right dude, this is annoying. Is your person here somewhere?
Marco	There's no one else in the park, Star. Everyone always leaves when we get here... for some reason [pulls out fire extinguisher to quench a fire]. The laser puppies are hungry. Just grab your wand. Let's go.
Star	Hmm.
	Scene changes to the Diaz's house, sometime later. Star holds the dog, which still has the wand in its mouth. She taps its muzzle to a coat rack.
Marco	Star, what are you doing? That's a dog, not a coat.
Star	Fur coat.
Marco	No. Look, you're basically a pet owner now; you're gonna have to feed him. He'll put the wand down if he wants to eat.
Dog	[eats food with wand in mouth, walks into the bathroom]
Marco	Okay.
Star	Is that normal?
Dog	[flushes toilet, uses sink, leaves bathroom]
Marco	Sorry, this is your problem. I'm gonna go to bed. Come on puppies. [goes upstairs with laser puppies]
Star	[to dog] Hi. So it's bedtime now, and I sleep best with my wand right under my pillow, even though my mom says not to because of [yawns] radiation [falls asleep with dog].
Dog	[growls]
	Scene jumps to Marco's room. Marco is asleep with the laser puppies, but the new dog is staring at him.
	The next morning, Marco wakes up and walks down the stairs.
Marco	Star, you down here?
Star	[wakes up, the dog beside her] What?
Marco	[screams] Star, come on. We gotta get going; we're gonna be late for school.
Star	[groans] Okay, okay. Just give me a sec [reaches for wand]
Dog	[growls]
Star	[picks up dog] Magic doggie, [shakes dog] get me ready for school. [puts dog on head] Alright. Guess it's a hat day.
	Scene changes to Echo Creek Academy. Marco is still complaining about the juice box.
Marco	They make this for kids, just open!
Principal	Miss Butterfly
Star	What?!
Principal	Where are you going with that dog?
Star	he's got my wand.
Principal	A dog in a classroom is a roadblock to learning. Do not come back until you get rid of that dog.
Star	Ugh.
Jackie	Cool hat Star Butterfly
Star	Shut up.
	Scene changes to later at the Stop and Slurp. Star is on a call with her mom.
Queen	Star, you have to send your aunt a thank-you card. It's a really nice necklace.
Star	I can't talk right now Mom, I just got kicked out of school.
Queen	What?
Star	[hangs up]
Cashier	Uh, no dogs in the store. [no response] Sure. Ignore me. I'm not like a person with feelings. Or anything.
Star	[puts down a slurpee]
Cashier	That'll be a buck fifty.
Star	Oh, I can't make any money right now 'cause my dog has my wand.
Dog	[growls]
Star	See?
Cashier	Right. On your tab then?
Star	Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Marco Diaz. Cool. Thanks Joe.
Cashier	Name's not Joe.
Star	And my name's not Marco. [sees a lost dog poster, gasps] Lost dog!
	Poster slides away due to it being on an automatic sliding door
Star	What? Come back.
	Door continues to open and closes
Cashier	Please stop that.
Star	Sorry [giggles, grabs poster]. "Lost smallish medium-to-large dog." You're a smallish medium-to-large dog. "Dog-ish face." Yep, dog-ish face. "May or may not bark" [holds hand to dog]
Dog	[growls]
Star	You may or may not bark! I'm pretty sure this flyer is talking bout you, mister. "Call 555-0199." Okay, 555-0199.
	A phone rings inside the store.
Cashier	Hello. Thank you for calling...
Star	Hi. I got your flyer and I think I found your dog.
Cashier	I do not have any pets.
Lydia	[to cashier through a window] Tee! Is someone calling about the dog?
Cashier	Uh, yeah.
Lydia	It's for me. [grabs phone] Hello. This is Lydia.
Star	Hi. I found your dog. I am outside the Stop and Slurp.
Lydia	Be right there.
Star	Okay, bye.
Lydia	[walks around corner to Star] Hiiii.
Star	Hi. Here for this little gargoyle? I found him. Here you go.
Lydia	Come to Mommy, my little, um... Willow...bee.
Star	Right, okay. Can you get Willoughby to drop my wand?
Lydia	I... I can do that. Willoughby, put it down. Where are you going?
	Willoughby walks into the restroom and uses the toilet.
Star	It's, uh, cool you taught your dog to use the bathroom.
Lydia	Yeah [nervous giggle]
Star	That's not your dog, is it?
Lydia	[nervous giggle]
	The dog leaves the bathroom, Star picks him up and runs.
Lydia	But I have... so much love to give.
	Scene jumps to Marco at his home. He is talking to one of the laser puppies, with his juice box in hand.
Marco	Stand up.
Puppy	[stands]
Marco	Bark.
Puppy	[barks]
Marco	Now play pirate.
Puppy	[squints left eye shut]
Marco	Now laser the hole.
	The dog shoots a laser into Marco's eye.
Marco	[shrieks, his eye starts emitting red light] Okay, everything is half red.
Star	[walks in]
Marco	Star, where have you been?
Star	I don't wanna talk about it.
Marco	Okay.
Star	Today was the worst day ever Marco. I got sent home from school, I couldn't make any money so I had to put everything on your tab.
Marco	What?
Star	I was harassed by a weird lady, and worst of all, Willoughby still won't give me back my wand [groans].
Marco	His name's Willoughby?
Star	That's what the weird lady called him. I thought I found his owner, but she was just a fake.
Marco	Yeah, this flyer's obviously fake, but let's go back to the dog park and see if his real owner put up a flyer.
Star	[sighs] Okay. You know your eye is glowing, right?
Marco	I know.
	Scene transitions to Marco and Star at the park.
Marco	Hmm, nope.
Star	[holding Willoughby like a metal detector] Beep, beep, beep. Where's your owner?
Lady 1	My problem is, I'm stuck in a doubt loop.
Lady 2	You so are.
	Star jumps on the ladies' table, holds Willoughby to the second's face, and beeps rapidly. she holds it over the first's and buzzes.
Star	Mm-mm [walks back to Marco] Come on, Willoughby.
Marco	[trying to open the juice box]Why is this so hard?
Star	I know, right?
Marco	Oh, right. Your thing is hard too.
Star	[frowns, groans]
Willoughby	[Ears rustle rapidly]
Star	Willoughby senses something. [gasps as a man approaches] Marco, look. Beautiful businessman. Go Willoughby. Go to your businessman.
Willoughby	[runs towards businessman]
Star	[gasps]
Willoughby	[stops, runs towards outhouse]
Star	[burst in to outhouse] that's it! What the...
	Willoughby looks in the mirror, waving the wand with his hand.
Willoughby	[hands Star the wand, in a female voice] Sorry.
Star	What just happened?
	They leave the outhouse
Star	Who are you?
Willoughby	It doesn't matter.
Star	Why did you take my wand?
Willoughby	[sigh] Because in my dimension, dogs are the ones with all the problems. There's no escape. [grabs Marco's juice box] Only sadness. [pokes the straw in] It's easier if you poke it from the bottom.
Marco	You did it. [sips] White grape.
Willoughby	All I really want is to be... like them [gestures at the laser puppies]. I thought if I zapped myself with your wand, I could quiet my troubled mind.
Marco	[sipping]
Star	But you can't just run away from all you're problems.
Marco	[chokes] You run away from your problems all the time.
Star	No, I just take breaks.
Willoughby	That's what I want. I want a break.
Star	You don't need magic for that. You need a chew toy [creates a bone shaped toy]. And you need to play fetch [lifts up her wand].
Marco	No, Star! No fetch.
Star	He. Oh yeah. And you need a Marco too. [calls Lydia with mirror] Hey Lydia, I found your dog. Again.
Lydia	[jumps out of a bush] I've been here all along. Come here, my sweet little boy.
Star	Actually, he's a girl.
Lydia	It doesn't matter. My little cake pop. It's time to come home.
Star	Go on.
Willoughby	I guess it couldn't hurt.
Star	Wait. There's one more thing [gives her necklace to Willoughby].
Willoughby	Your necklace? I couldn't.
Star	Eh, it's a win-win. This way, I don't have to send my Aunt Felicity a thank you card. [baby talk] Now go get your Lydia.
Willoughby	Uh, why are you talking to me like that?
Star	[baby talk] 'Cause that's how we talk to wittle doggies [pushes Willoughby to Lydia]
Lydia	[picks up Willoughby] This is what happiness feels like.
Willoughby	[pants]
Lydia	Thank you for finding my dog. Bye [runs away]
Star	See, Marco? I do face my problems [mirror buzzes]
Marco	Is that your mom calling again?
Star	[shoves him] Break!