Episode begins in Moon and River's Mewman village. Moon is lying in a hammock and looking at the sky. She looks over to River, who is watering crops.
River Butterfly [waves to Moon] Hello, honey!
Moon looks in the other direction. The village is now populated by dozens of Mewmans.
Moon Butterfly [sighs contentedly, closes her eyes]
A wet sock lands on Moon's face.
Moon Aah! [falls out of her hammock] Oof!
Moon picks herself up, takes the sock off her face, and sees two Mewmans arguing by the river.
Carl This is everybody's river!
Mewman Woman No, no, no!
Carl It's everybody's river!
Mewman Woman Thursdays are my day to do the laundry!
Carl I never agreed to that!
Moon What is going on here?
Mewman Woman Carl is stinking up the river with his dirty laundry when he knows it's my day to do the wash!
Carl Water is free, man!
Mewman Woman Not when it's full of your dirty underpants!
Down the river, more Mewmans are arguing.
Mewmans [This water is for everyone!]
[This is our day for washing, not yours!]
Carl Moon, can you use your magic to make more water?
Moon I have a better idea.
Scene cuts to Moon putting up a weekly laundry schedule on a tree.
Moon This chart clearly shows everyone's turn to do laundry, so there won't be any more confusion.
Carl Thank you, Moon! You're so good at coming up with solutions!
Moon Now, I'm sure you're all perfectly capable of—
Carl Whenever we had problems with the monster village, Eclipsa was all, "Love it or leave it, man."
Moon Really? She said that?
Carl Well... no. We never actually talked to her or anything. But why would we?
Mewman Woman Yeah, everyone knows she only cares about her precious monsters.
Moon Hmm.
Teenage Girl 1 Not like you though. This is so much better than living in New Monstertown.
Teenage Girl 2 Or in the ruins of Butterfly Castle. I heard that place is a real deathtrap nowadays.
Moon Well, if there's nothing else I can help you with...
Mewman Man Uh, Jeremiah and I have the same jacket, and he keeps wearing it whenever I do.
Jeremiah I bought mine first!
Moon Um...
Maude Maizley And my husband never takes out the recycling!
Merrick Maizley We don't have recycling! We don't even have a garbageman!
Maude Also, we need garbagemen!
The villagers all start shouting requests at Moon. Moon's left eye twitches with anger. Cut to Moon and River's yurt; River is painting a portrait of a winged rat.
River [humming]
Rat [squeaks, chews its own fur]
River I said hold still!
Moon [enters yurt, sighs] I think I have to go back to Butterfly Castle.
River What? Why?!
Moon To get my day planner. [takes map out of a drawer] These yurt people need structure! Maybe if I organize them just this once, I'll have some peace and quiet.
River But, but, but... noooo! [hugs Moon] I like how carefree our life has become since we moved here. Look! I'm becoming an accomplished painter!
River's portrait looks hideous.
Moon Uh-huh...
River Moon Pie, it was your job to take care of others for so long. Maybe it's time you were a little selfish. Also, according to the Maizley kids, Butterfly Castle is haunted! Eclipsa put a curse on it.
Moon Well, which is it? Haunted or cursed?
River I think it was cursed with a haunting. Oh, wait, no. It was haunted with a curse! Or maybe it's just a ghost that curses at you. You know what? I'm gonna go double-check with the Maizleys.
Moon Great. While you go do that, I'm going to get my planner. [leaves]
River Be careful! Don't talk to any ghosts! They curse at you!
Moon enters the ruins of the Butterfly Groundlands. Several homeless Mewmans are keeping warm next to an oil drum fire.
Mewman Woman 2 Hey, check out all these great doorknobs I got.
Mewman Man 2 Great! Put 'em in the fire! [sees Moon] Ooh! A customer!
Moon Me? No, no, no, no.
Mewman Woman 2 Say, you look like Queen Moon!
Moon It's just "Moon" now, thanks.
Mewman Man 2 Queen Moon, can I interest you in a sack of doorknobs?
Moon Um, no.
Mewman Man 3 Or this giant centipede?
Moon No! I'm just going to the castle. I don't need... paraphernalia.
Mewman Man 3 The castle? Oh, that place gives me the creeps!
Mewman Woman 2 It's definitely haunted.
Mewman Man 3 No, I'm pretty sure it's cursed.
Mewman Woman 2 Nah, man, it's haunted.
Moon [sighs] I'm just going to get my day planner. It shouldn't take more than five minutes.
Mewman Man 4 [pushing a wheelbarrow] Did someone say "day planner"? Boy, have I got a planner for you.
Moon [sarcastic] Oh, more stuff. Delightful.
Mewman Man 4 [opens a day planner] Look at that! It's Hazel's birthday today!
Moon Who is Hazel?
Mewman Man 4 I dunno, but her friend sure had a nice day planner. Trade you for some doorknobs.
Moon No! That's stolen!
Mewman Man 4 "Scavenged".
Moon Ugh. how did things get so bad here?
Mewman Man 4 "Bad?" Excuse you, these are quality planners!
Moon No, this! Less than a year ago, this was a thriving village square! Now...
Mewman Man 5 [bursts out of a pile of trash] Yes! Free curtains! Whoo-hoo!
Mewman Man 4 That's anarchy for ya! [laughs, walks away]
Moon approaches the Butterfly Castle ruins and pushes the doors open. As she enters, she passes various debris, piles of suits of armor, and a stone bust of Skywynne Butterfly. She puts a broken-off piece of the bust back on it and presses on. She stops by a dinner table that's been broken in half, and she hears the sound of flapping wings.
Moon [gasps] Oh.
In her and River's old bedroom, she pushes the closet door open and sees her old royal armor in display. In a small wall compartment next to the armor, she finds her day planner.
Moon Well, at least one thing is where it ought to be.
She closes the compartment door and makes her way back to the castle entrance. In a side corridor, she sees a glowing light and walks toward it, going down a flight of stairs.
Moon Hello? Is someone down here?
The corridor at the bottom of the stairs is lined with patched-up tapestries of Queen Festivia, Queen Celena, Queen Skywynne, Queen Eclipsa, Queen Crescenta, Prince Jushtin, and Queen Estrella of the Butterfly family.
Moon What in the world...?
At the far end of the corridor, Moon finds a patched-up tapestry of her mother Comet.
Moon Hello, Mother.
There's a faint thudding sound. When Moon looks further down the corridor, a pair of blue eyes looks back at her. Moon grabs a lit torch off the wall and approaches the eyes.
Moon Hello?
The blue eyes belong to a crow that flies out at Moon.
Crow [cawing]
Moon Aah!
As the crow flies over Moon's head, it blows out all of the wall torches, including the one in Moon's hand.
Crow [cawing]
Moon Oh. You're just a crow. [laughs]
Moon steps on a petrified crow on the floor with a yada yada berry in its mouth.
Moon [picks up petrified crow] And you're just a stone crow.
Something blue glows bright in front of Moon, and she looks up at it.
Moon [gasps]
A very tall and ghostly figure draped in a white sheet floats down the hallway. Moon is stunned silent and motionless. The ghost looks at her.
Moon [gasps, frightened whimpering]
The ghost approaches Moon, and she backs away in fear. The ghost rises up and towers over her.
Moon Aah!
Ghost Moon? Is that you?
Moon Uh... yes?
Ghost Oh! I didn't recognize you with the, uh, new 'do! Heh.
The ghost pulls off its white sheet to reveal Mina Loveberry in her muscular, Augmented form.
Mina Loveberry It's me! Mina Loveberry! [bows] Welcome home, your Majesty!
Moon Mina? What are you doing here?
Mina Protecting Butterfly Castle!
Mina changes back into her normal form.
Mina I've been runnin' off any hooligans even thinkin' about lootin' the place! And the ones who don't run? I give 'em a taste of the old one-two! Speaking of which, how come you didn't blast me with your magic? You know, I could've killed you!
Moon [sighs] I left the blasting behind along with my crown.
Mina Wowza! You sound glummer than an octopus with no legs! [laughs] I'll show you something that'll get your blood pumpin' again!
Mina leaps to the top of a nearby staircase and reveals the patched-up tapestry of Queen Solaria.
Mina Ta-da!
Moon You wanted to show me... Solaria.
Mina The Monster Carver herself!
Moon So it was you who fixed these.
Mina Oh, that's not the only thing I'm fixing!
Mina pushes Solaria's tapestry aside to reveal a fountain grotto with berry bushes.
Moon What is this place?
Mina shows off her campsite with a tent, several wall posters, a clothesline of laundry, food cans, and bookshelves.
Mina Gaze upon its beauty!
Moon [looks at berry bushes] Are these...?
Mina Yada yada berries. Grew 'em myself.
Moon Ah! Why?!
Mina To get rid of Eclipsa, of course! But that tricksy queen fooled Manfred into eating them instead!
Moon You tried to yada-yada Eclipsa? Isn't that a bit extreme?
Mina I'll tell you what's extreme! Lettin' a bunch of dirty monsters ruin our beautiful kingdom! It's like she doesn't even know who the real Mewmans are! This would have never happened in the old days, when there were a hundred Solarian super warriors like me protecting the realm. Now, well, it's just me left.
Crow [cawing, flies onto Mina's arm]
Mina Like this fella! [kissing sounds] All the other morons ate the berries and turned into stone, but this one's stronger than that. He outlasted all the others and became my loyal servant, just as I outlasted all the other warriors to become yours!
Moon Well, I— Oh!
Mina [kneels before Moon] Mina Loveberry, reporting for duty! Let's dethrone Eclipsa once and for all! Let's restart the Solarian Program together!
Moon [sighs] Oh, Mina. Your loyalty is truly admirable. Nobody has defended Mewni so selflessly for so long. But the Solarian Program was a dark time in our history, and its soldiers paid a terrible price for what was done to them. You don't have to let that define you. You can be more than what you were made for.
Mina ...No! I'll always be a soldier, just like you'll always be the queen! Where's your loyalty to your peeps?!
Moon I have loyalty!
Mina Lies! I took an oath, and as long as the enemies of Mewmans exist, I will never stop fighting them! [flips away] Come, Sebastian! Mina's got work to do!
Sebastian [cawing]
Sebastian perches on Mina's shoulder, and Mina transforms into her Augmented form. Using her pigtails like a helicopter, she rises through the glass ceiling and flies away. Scene cuts back to Moon and River's village.
River Hmm. Ah! [paints hideous portrait of Moon] Perfect!
Moon [enters the village]
River Moon Pie! Well, what was it? A ghost or a curse?
Moon Neither. It was Mina.
River That's worse than I thought.
Moon And she's trying to dethrone Eclipsa.
River Oh, no! How are you going to stop her?!
Moon I won't.
River You... what?
Two Mewmans are fighting over a log of wood.
Jeremiah I told you, it's my turn to get the firewood!
Mewman Man No, it's mine!
Moon [gives day planner to Jeremiah] Here. This should help you schedule your chores. [walks away] You were right, River. It isn't my job to take care of everyone. Eclipsa is queen now. [lies back down in her hammock] And that means she'll just have to deal with Mina on her own.
Several crows fly in the sky overhead.
(end song)
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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