Episode begins at Butterfly Castle; a couple of the castle towers are billowing smoke.
Ludo (o.s.) Get it out! All of it! That, too! That, too!
Ludo is seen standing next to a stone bust of King Butterfly.
Ludo This is my castle! I don't want to see a single Butterfly face! Move it!
One of Ludo's rats removes the King Butterfly bust from its pillar. Another rats puts photos of Star Butterfly and her family in the trash. A third rat is seen eating pancakes.
Ludo Hmm. Wait, wait, wait. What am I looking at here?
The pancake is shaped like Star Butterfly's head.
Ludo Argh! No Butterflys! Get that out of here!
The pancake and plate are thrown out with the rest of the Butterfly family's belongings.
Ludo Is that the last of it?
Rat [nods]
Ludo And with that, everything in my kingdom is in order.
The village surrounding Butterfly Castle is shown to be covered in trash with several buildings on fire.
Corn merchant Corncobs here! Get your corncobs!
Rats [squeaking]
Corn merchant No, no, not again!
Ludo's rats stampede the merchant's stand and take all his corn.
Corn merchant [sobbing] These rats have eaten me out of house and home!
Ludo Right, they will do that. Okay, a few kinks to work out, but overall, the citizens of Mewni love me. Hey, merch vendor, how are the King Ludo shirts selling?
Merch vendor Very, very, very not good. Not good at all, your Majesty.
Ludo But what about the masks?
Merch vendor Those especially. Here, I'll show you. [to little boy] Greetings, young man. Might I interest you in a King Ludo mask?
Mewman boy [shrieking]
Mewman boy's mother Run, baby, run!
Ludo Maybe it's the beard.
Merch vendor No, my lord, they just don't like you.
Mewman wife Oh, honey, look at all that great stuff.
Mewman husband Wow. We should load up.
Ludo Finally, someone with taste!
Mewman husband Oh, let me just... [picks up bust of King Butterfly] This would look great in our foyer.
Mewman wife How much for this handsome fella?
Merch vendor Oh, well...
Ludo It's not for sale! Come on! You know what? That's it. Levitato! [lifts Butterfly family things into the sky] There! All that terrible Butterfly stuff is gone! Now, how about a nice King Ludo coffee mug or a bobblehead?
Mewman husband We don't want your stuff.
Mewman wife Yeah, we don't like you. Nobody likes you, dude.
Merch vendor You see what I'm dealing with here?
Ludo I am your king! I command you to like me!
Mewman husband ...No.
Ludo [frustrated yell]
Cut to castle dungeons, where King Butterfly and Marco Diaz are chained up and playing chess using rock and dead bugs.
River Butterfly [straining, moves green bug with his toes] Checkmate.
Marco Diaz [sighs] I'm bad at everything.
River First rule of chess, Marco: you must always protect your king.
Marco and River hear the door lock jangling, and River brushes the chessboard away with his foot. Ludo and two rat guards enter.
River What do you want?
Ludo You're coming with me.
River No way. I'm not going anywhere with you.
Ludo That's too bad. It's urgent royal business. [unlocking River's shackles] I need you to command the people to like me.
River [laughs] Why would I do that? I don't even like you. Shuffling about and talking to that wand hand of yours. It's weird.
Ludo [growls] Fine! If you won't help me, then you can just rot in this cell! Say good-bye to your freedom!
Ludo tries to put the key around his neck, but the chain doesn't fit over his large head.
Ludo [straining] Come on, you stupid chain.
River [muffled laughter]
Marco [laughing] Oh, Ludo...
Ludo [straining] Butter.
One of the rat guards hands a stick of butter to Ludo. He slathers the butter on his forehead and slips the key chain around his neck.
Ludo Change of plan. I'm giving you twenty-four hours to figure out a way to make the people of Mewni like me, or I'll... I'll Levitato you into the sky forever!
River [sarcastic] Ooh, I'm so scared.
Ludo Twenty-four hours.
Ludo and the rat guards leave.
Marco Dude, Ludo's gone completely nuts.
River You're telling me. He left behind a perfectly good stick of butter! [reaches for the butter with his feet] Oh, I can... almost taste it.
Marco River, now is no time for... [realizing] butter. [gasps]
Marco kicks off one of his sneakers and reaches for the butter with his foot.
River Yes, yes! You're young and limber. Reach out for it, boy.
Marco [grabs butter with his foot]
River Excellent! Ha-ha!
Marco [tosses butter into his hand] Ha-ha! [slathers butter on his wrist]
River Careful. Save some for the gruel, boy.
Marco pulls his left hand out of the shackles.
River Nice work, Marco.
Marco [gives butter to River] Here. Butter yourself up, and I'll see if I can figure a way out of here.
River Try the AC vent.
Marco [looks at AC vent] The dungeon has air conditioning?
River It's a dungeon, not a torture chamber.
Marco [opens AC vent] Nice! How are those shackles coming?
River [with butter all over his lips] I don't think this is going to work.
Marco River! Did you eat the butter, River?
River ...I used to be king.
Marco Okay, okay. I'll go steal that key from Ludo, and then we'll both get out of here.
River You should just go. This isn't your fight.
Marco [climbs into AC vent and crawls away]
River Marco, listen to your king!
Marco crawls through the vents and reaches the royal bedroom.
Marco [whispering] Whoa. The royal bedroom. [sees someone sleeping under the bedsheets, gasps] Ludo!
Marco slides down a string of handkerchiefs and sneaks up to the bed. He pulls the sheets away to see Mime Girl.
Marco [screaming]
Ruberiot [covers Marco's mouth] Shhh!
Marco Ruberiot?
Ruberiot Quiet, dude. You're gonna get us caught. [eats chicken wing]
Foolduke comes out of the royal bathroom.
Foolduke Whoo! How'd I ever live without a solid gold toilet?
Marco What the heck is going on here?
Ruberiot Since Ludo took over, we've been hiding in the vents. And when he's not around, we eat his royal leftovers.
Foolduke And bathe in his royal bubble bath.
Mime Girl [mimes sleeping gesture, hops up and down on the bed]
Ruberiot And sleep in his royal bed. She was miming that we sleep in his royal bed.
Ludo (o.s.) These villagers are so ungrateful!
Foolduke And end scene!
Marco, Ruberiot, Foolduke, and Mime Girl return to the vents. On her way into the vents, Mime Girl eats the handkerchief chain. Ludo and his bald eagle and giant spider enter the royal bedroom.
Ludo [wearing Ludo mask] I don't get it. How are these things not flying off the shelf? [removes mask] It can't be for my lack of devilishly good looks. [sighs] I've got that whole Levitato-ing King River to do. [blows out candlestick] Being a king is simply exhausting. [goes to sleep]
Marco Now's our chance. If we can get that key from Ludo, we can free the king and—
Ruberiot Whoa. I'm gonna have to stop you right there. You see, as artists, our job is to comment on the world around us, not "doing stuff". A heavy burden, yes, but that's what it means to be an artiste.
Foolduke Oh, please. You, an artist? You're nothing but a jingle scribbler.
Ruberiot And you're a buffoon.
Foolduke The buffoon is merely the facade for my pointed social commentary. That's what makes me a true artist.
Ruberiot Not as much of an artist as the mime.
Foolduke Obviously! We all know the mime is an artistic genius!
Mime Girl [happily taps her feet]
Ruberiot and Foolduke Genius.
Marco Guys, look. I'm not a soldier either, but there's a time when you have to get off the sidelines and get involved. And if the four of us work together, we can save the true king of Mewni. Now who's with me? [points his fingers at the others]
Foolduke Now, see, I-I wouldn't use that hand gesture. It's just been done to death.
Ruberiot And you never want to end a sentence with a pronoun.
Marco [opens air vent] You all make me sick.
Marco sneaks out of the vents and knocks over a stack of Ludo masks. One of them rolls next to the bed.
Ludo [in his sleep] No, I don't want to shave the corn... [snoring]
Marco puts his hood up and crawls up to the bed. He reaches onto the bed and feels the dungeon key, but he accidentally picks up Ludo's entire body.
Ludo [gasps]
Marco [gasps, tosses Ludo onto the bed]
Ludo What? Who's here? Who's in my royal bedroom?!
Marco Uh, uh... [puts on Ludo mask] A guy in a mask.
Ludo [looks unconvinced]
Ruberiot (o.s.) We're here to...
Ruberiot, Foolduke, and Mime Girl appear on the chandelier.
Ruberiot ...entertain you, my lord!
Marco Wha...?
Mime Girl [winks at Marco]
Ruberiot, Foolduke, and Mime Girl drop down from the chandelier and assume a group pose.
Ludo In the middle of the night?
Marco Oh, yeah, because, uh—
Ruberiot And we wrote this song about... [strums lute]
Ludo You wrote a song about me?
Mime Girl [claps her hands]
A spotlight shines down on Ruberiot, Foolduke, and Mime Girl.
Ruberiot ♪ Ohhh, he... ♪
♪ Came on bird and spider ♪
Foolduke ♪ Uh, shone his grace upon us all ♪
Ludo I did do that, didn't I?
Ruberiot ♪ And he brought the rats here to protect us ♪
Foolduke ♪ And now we'll never fall ♪
Foolduke spins Marco around, and Mime Girl catches him.
Mime Girl [in deep, raspy voice] Get the key.
Marco spins next to Ludo on the royal bed.
Marco [grins nervously at Ludo]
Ruberiot ♪ And we say ♪
♪ Great King Ludo is great ♪
Ruberiot and Foolduke ♪ He's so great, great, great, great, great, great, great ♪
Foolduke ♪ And Mewni has never been better ♪
Ruberiot and Foolduke ♪ Been better, been better, been better ♪
♪ Oh, great King Ludo is great ♪
Ludo [humming along]
Marco puts an arm around Ludo to grab the key, but it keeps slipping from his grasp.
Ruberiot and Foolduke ♪ He's so great, great, great, great, great, great, great ♪
Ludo You guys are good. You guys are really good. What do you call your band?
Ruberiot "Three Artists And A Buffoon".
Foolduke Okay, that's it. [shoves Ruberiot]
Ruberiot [stops playing] Whoa! What?
Foolduke I'm the buffoon?! You're the buffoon!
Ruberiot You make fart jokes! I make art!
Foolduke You call that noise art?! Your rhymes are wack!
Ruberiot Yeah, well, yours are... hack!
Foolduke [sarcastic] Ohhhh, good one. [rips Ruberiot's shirt]
Ruberiot Hey, hey! [pulls on Foolduke's hat]
Foolduke Hey!
Mime Girl [miming everyone to calm down]
Foolduke tackles Ruberiot to the floor and sits on him.
Ludo Stop! You're all hacks! Except for the mime. [giggles] She's a genius.
Mime Girl [looks flattered]
Ludo Get them!
Ruberiot and Foolduke run out of the bedroom. Mime Girl picks up Marco and runs out, too. Eagle and spider jump on Ludo as they chase. Marco closes the bedroom door, and eagle and spider slam into it.
Ludo [groans]
Cut to Marco and the others outside the room.
Marco I can't believe this! I almost had the key! Can't you two get along for just one minute?!
Ruberiot But we like not getting along.
Foolduke Yeah. [holding the dungeon key] We're good at it.
Marco Wow! You guys really had me fooled.
Ruberiot [laughs] No, we... we really do hate each other.
Cut to River still chained up in the dungeon. He scratches his armpit with his foot. Marco and the others pop in through a sewer entrance in the floor.
River Ah! Marco!
Marco Hey, king, we're busting you out of here. [unlocks River's shackles]
River [reshackles himself]
Marco Uh, what are you doing?
River I won't abandon my people.
Marco What?!
River Sometimes, you've got to let the king go.
Ludo [humming off-screen]
Ruberiot, Foolduke, and Mime Girl exit into the sewers. Marco pretends to chain himself back up and drops the dungeon key. Ludo, eagle, and spider enter.
Ludo Time's up. So, um... ready to... Wait. Wait. Where's my key? [picks up key on the floor] I must've dropped my key right in front of you, and you didn't even notice. What?! You could have been running free by now, prancing in the fields! Must make you feel pretty silly. [laughs] Spider!
Spider [props up Ludo]
Ludo So are you going to force everyone to like me, or is it Levitato time?
River You may have the crown, but you will never be king.
Ludo We'll see how you feel once you've been Levitato'd.
Ludo, eagle, and spider drag River away and close the door.
Marco No! River! [enters the sewers] Come on!
Ruberiot, Foolduke, and Mime Girl follow Marco through the sewers. Scene cuts to Ludo, River, eagle, and spider on a gallows surrounded by villagers. River has been placed in the stocks.
Ludo Welcome to the reign of King Ludo! This is what happens to anyone who doesn't show respect and adoration for their king!
The villagers look frightened as they watch. Marco and the others watch from a sewer grate.
Ludo [to River] Do you have any last words?
River People of Mewni! I am not afraid!
Ludo Blah-blah-blah. Levitato.
River And neither should yoooooooouuuuuuu! [levitates high into the sky]
Mewmans [gasping and screaming]
Foolduke What are we gonna do now?
Marco Now... we fight. [smears mud on his cheeks]
Foolduke Uh, you know that's not mud, right?
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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