Lava Lake Beach/Transcript

	Episode begins on a shot of a smoldering campfire.
Tom Lucitor	(o.s.) Deep in the sand, a wicked ember glows. Though all around, a chilling wind doth blow. With heat and spark and smoke uncurled, bring forth the fires of the Underworld!
	The campfire suddenly burns with flames. On the Lava Lake Beach, Star, Marco, Tom, and Kelly roast marshmallows over the fire. A demon girl chases a blushing skeleton across the beach holding a skull crab.
Skeleton Guy	[laughing]
Demon Girl	[playfully] Get back here! I'm gonna claw you in the head!
Star Butterfly	I love how spoooooky Underworld beaches are.
Marco Diaz	Isn't that kind of the Underworld's... thing?
Tom	Yeah, it's pretty metal. Hey, Star, finished your marshmallow.
Star	Aw, I finished yours, too! Twins.
	Star and Tom exchange marshmallow sticks. Tom blows on his marshmallow before they eat them.
Marco	Wait a second. Is that one of my hoodies?
Star	Yeah, I gave him a spare one for the beach.
Tom	I gave it a little custom job. You want me to do yours?
Marco	No! [his marshmallow completely melts] Oh, man! [sighs] Kelly, can I have one of yours?
Kelly	[eating several marshmallows on a stick] Um, I actually licked all of these.
Marco	Yeah, okay, never mind.
Star	Aw, it's okay, Marco. You can have our last one.
Tom	[gives marshmallow to Marco] Here you go, dude.
Star	Oh, man, the Soulrise is gonna be so great this year!
Tom	Oh, yeah. And we got such a good spot to watch it.
	Ulric, a big demon guy with three eyes, and his skeleton girlfriend walk up to Star, Marco, Tom, and Kelly's spot.
Ulric	What are you jerks doing in our spot?!
Tom	Your spot? We were here first!
Star	Yeah, I don't see your name on it.
Ulric	Well, maybe you need more eyes.
Tom	Hey! Back off my girlfriend, man!
Star	Sounds like this guy's looking for a fight.
Ulric	There's only one way to settle this. [rips skull off a skeleton]
Marco	[gasps]
Star and Tom	Yeah!
Marco	How are we settling this? How are we settling this?!
	Ulric tosses the burning skull into the air. When it falls back to the ground, the two sides play beach volleyball with it.
Marco	(o.s) I got it! I got it!
Demon	[changes score to 10-11] Point, Team Ulric.
Ulric	Ha-ha!
	Ulric serves the ball over the net. Star bumps it back over the net, and the skeleton girl bumps it back. The ball bounces off the net and flies back at the skeleton girl, knocking her head off her body.
Skeleton Girl	Aah!
Star	Kelly, it's yours!
Kelly	[walks off the field]
	Ulric spikes the skeleton girl's head over the net, and Marco falls into the sand trying to catch it. Ulric and the skeleton girl's body high-five.
Star and Tom	What?!
Tom	That's cheating!
Skeleton Girl	[to Marco] Hey, your friend looked upset. Maybe you should check on her.
Marco	Kelly! Guys, where did Kelly go?
Tom	It's okay. We can still take these chumps. Star and I haven't even unleashed our secret weapon.
	Star jumps on Tom's shoulders, and they start flying around the volleyball field.
Marco	Fine. Marco will fix it.
Star	Whooooo!
	Marco goes around the beach looking for Kelly.
Marco	Kelly?
Skelly (Boy)	[pops out of sandcastle] Did you say "Skelly"?
Marco	No, I said Kelly.
Skelly (Girl)	[pops out from under the sand] Did someone say "Skelly"? 'Cause that's me.
Skelly (Boy)	Oh, hey. Hey, there. I'm Skelly, too.
	Marco walks up to a demon couple; the girl is putting suntan lotion on the guy's back.
Marco	Have you guys seen my friend?
Demon Guy	I don't know, man. But I'll fight ya.
Marco	I just wanna find my friend. She's, like, this tall and has a lot of body hair. No?
Demon Girl	Sounds like I could take her.
Demon Guy	Two-on-two sound fair?
Marco	Okay, well, uh, thanks anyway. [shuffles around demons and leaves]
Demon Girl	He seemed nice.
	Marco sees Kelly at the edge of the lava by herself and goes up to her.
Marco	Are you okay?
Kelly	No... Tad and I broke up.
Marco	Oh... Sorry. I... I mean, you guys will probably work it out. You always do, you know?
Kelly	No. This is very much the end.
Marco	Oh. Well... I know how you feel. Jackie and I split up, too. Hey, if you need to talk—
	Jorby runs up to Marco from behind and tackles him.
Marco	Aah! [grunts, kiais]
Jorby	[growling]
Kelly	Jorby! What are you doing?
Jorby	Oh, I don't know, Kelly. What are you doing? Is this your new sparring partner? You know what? I had to fight Greg. Greg! And I killed him in, like, three seconds!
Kelly	You didn't kill Greg.
Jorby	Yeah, well, I killed his pride.
Marco	Leave her alone, man! She's going through some stuff! [picks up beach umbrella]
Jorby	We all are! Everyone's in a constant state of falling apart! Existential war cry!
Marco	Does everyone on this stupid beach wanna fight?!
	Marco and Jorby start fighting.
Kelly	Stop! I cannot—! [sighs] I cannot deal with this much static right now! [walks away]
Jorby	Sorry, man, I didn't know. I'd help you talk to her, but I got my own lady I gotta deal with.
	A goose sitting on a nearby beach towel quacks at Jorby and points at her wristwatch.
Jorby	I'm coming! Oh, kill me...
Marco	Kelly, wait up! I just wanted to say if you need to talk—
Kelly	[sputters sadly, hugs Marco] I don't know who I am anymore. All I know is I'm tired of being Tad's girlfriend, and I can't seem to move on.
Marco	That stuff takes time.
Kelly	I know, but... [sighs] Tad's still in here.
Marco	He'll always be in here, but it gets easier—
Kelly	No, Marco. He hasn't moved out yet. [points at her hair] He's still in here.
Marco	Wait, what?
Kelly	[whispering] He just isn't getting it, and I've already hurt him too much.
Marco	I could try talking to him.
Kelly	Really? Hmm, well. Maybe he'll listen to you. You are his best friend.
Marco	[laughs nervously] I am?
Kelly	[unfurls her ponytail and turns around] Go on in.
Marco	In there?
Kelly	Yeah.
Marco	In your hair?
Kelly	Get in "hair"! Get it? [laughs] "Get in hair"?
	Marco enters a large, open space inside Kelly's hair. The pizza delivery guy from "Crystal Clear" walks past him. Marco walks up to Tad, who is sulking behind a pizza box.
Marco	Um, hey, Tad.
Tad	Oh, hey, bestie. [sighs] Kelly dumped me again.
Marco	Yeah, that's why I'm here. She asked me to come talk to you.
Tad	Are we getting back together?
Marco	No. She needs you to move out, bud.
Tad	She keeps saying that, but I've been looking.
Marco	Oh! That's great. Where?
Tad	Mmm, like... on the back of these pizza boxes? Uh, inside these chip bags? At the bottom of these soda pops? [drinking soda pop]
Marco	Look, dude, I felt the same way when Jackie and I split.
Tad	That's your "B", man. Kelly and I break up and make up constantly. We'll get back together in no time, so why even bother getting out of this chair?
Marco	Tad, it's for real this time.
Tad	You're harshing my groove, Marco.
Marco	Dude, Kelly wants to move on. You should give her that chance.
	Marco tries to take Tad's pizza box away, but Tad resists.
Marco	Come on, man!
Tad	No! Nooo!
Marco	You're just making yourself miserable hanging around her.
Tad	[sighs] You're right. You're the expert.
Marco	Well, yeah, I'm an expert in many things— Wait, what? What are you talking about?
Tad	How you're making yourself miserable hanging around Star.
Marco	What?! [scoffs] What does Star have to do with it? [stutters] If anything, I'm miserable because... because Jackie dumped me.
Tad	Marco, you didn't come here for the Soulrise.
Marco	Yes, I did.
Tad	[puts his hands on Marco's face] Oh, Marco. Marco, Marco, Marco, Marco...
Marco	[grunts]
Tad	Shhh. I've been watching you all night. You have feelings for your best friend, dude.
Marco	What?! No! No. ...No...
Tad	Dude, you have dimensional scissors! You could be knocking back soda pops and crushing pizzas in any dimension! And you're choosing to live with your unavailable crush? When it comes to making yourself miserable, you are the master, bro.
Marco	No, no. [slowly backing away] No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.
Tad	Hey, Marco, are you okay? Buddy?
Marco	No... Noooo...
	Marco leaves Kelly's hair. I Don't Wanna Know plays in the background. Kelly kicks over a skull just as Marco comes out of her hair.
Kelly	Hey, did you talk to him?
Marco	[runs away]
Kelly	Marco!
BGM	♪ All my plans are falling apart ♪
	Marco runs around the beach with his hands over his ears. He finds Jorby and his girlfriend licking ice cream. The ice cream falls off the cone.
Jorby	It's okay. Ice cream melts, but our love is forever.
Marco	[groaning, panting]
	Marco runs up to the demon couple who challenged him to a fight earlier.
Demon Guy	I'd fight anyone for you, babe.
Demon Girl	Would you fight me?
Demon Guy	To the death!
Demon Girl	Awww!
Marco	[screams]
	Marco runs up to the two Skellys.
Skelly (Boy)	I'm glad I found you, Skelly.
Skelly (Girl)	Me too, Skelly.
Skelly (Boy)	Being in love with your best friend is great!
	Marco runs away from them and runs into the demon girl and skeleton from the beginning of the episode. He also sees two skull crabs holding claws and a food-vending demon hugging a plant.
BGM	♪ And I don't want to see ♪ ♪ The things that I've been shown ♪
	Marco continues to run until he finds Star and Tom sitting on their beach towel and kissing.
BGM	♪ But I can't shut my eyes ♪ ♪ So I'll walk away alone ♪ ♪ Tonight ♪
	Marco looks heartbroken. He walks away from Star and Tom with a blank expression. Later, he sits alone on the sand zipping and unzipping his hoodie.
Kelly	Oh, there you are. Whatever you said to Tad worked. He moved out. I feel lighter already. Also, I think the zipper works, so... Yeah, you don't need to...
Marco	I'm glad that that worked out for you.
Kelly	I know that face. Come on, Kelly's driving. [pulls Marco across the sand, grunting]
Marco	I'll walk!
	Marco and Kelly walk along the beach.
Kelly	You know, Tad and I? We used to come to every Soulrise.
Marco	So why come here now?
Kelly	I love the Soulrise. I don't want it to be a place that makes me sad. The only thing I could think to do was face it. Rewrite it so it was mine again.
	Marco and Kelly walk up to a black and red lifeguard tower.
Marco	Where... are we? Should we even be here?
Kelly	It's the best view of the Soulrise!
	Kelly tosses a skull into the tower, and it dislodges the ladder entrance underneath.
Kelly	Ladder!
	Marco and Kelly climb to the top of the tower.
Marco	Wow. You can see everything.
Kelly	Told ya!
Marco	I guess we should go find Star and Tom, huh?
Kelly	They don't need this. They haven't earned it.
	The lava starts to ripple. Marco takes off his hoodie and drapes it around Kelly.
Kelly	Uh, what are you doing?
Marco	Oh, I was just... trying to... warmthen... you... You know... You looked cold. [groans]
	Kelly moves closer to Marco and drapes half of the hoodie around him.
Kelly	Thanks. I... I was cold.
	The lava continues to ripple as black clouds gather in the sky. A giant eyeball rises out of the lava and emits a beam of bright light Souls start to swim up the beam and release into the sky. Screeching skeleton demons fly overhead.
Marco	Is... Is that thing...?
	One of the flying skeletons flies past Marco's face.
Marco	Aah! Oh! Ha-ha! Sorry.
	Marco and Kelly continue watching the Soulrise together.
Marco	Is it past midnight?
Kelly	[looks at her watch] Yeah.
Marco	Then it's my birthday.
Kelly	Happy birthday, Marco Diaz.