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(theme song)
Scene opens with a glimpse of Star Butterfly's room on the outside of Mewni castle.
Star [singing] ♪ Oh, burrito burrito / I'll never let you go, my little burrito / Burrito, burrito, burrito / We've such a long way to go / For me to eat you ♪
While Star is singing, Marco Diaz climbs into her room through the window.
Marco Hey, Star!
Star [shrikes, throws burrito at Marco] Marco! What did I tell you about– wait... Marco!
Marco Hi.
Star Oh, my goodness! [hesitantly] It's so good to see you. Um... what are you doing here?
Marco I missed it here, so, I decided to come back permanently.
A toilet flushes in another room. The pair can hear Tom Lucitor singing.
Tom ♪ Burrito / burrito / I'll never let... ♪
Tom walks into Star's room.
Marco Tom?
Tom Marco!
Marco Tom!
Lady Whosits Intruder!
She tackles Marco. A whole swarm of knights hop into Star's room through the window.
Star Uh, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.
The knights continue to secure Marco as a prisoner.
Star Guys, guys, hey guys, it's all right. It's just Marco.
Marco I'm not an intruder. King River said I could be a knight. See? I got the cape and everything.
Lady Whosits [laughs slowly, holds up Marco by the cape] Look, he's got a cape.
All the other knights begin to laugh at him. The scene changes to the throne room where Queen and King Butterfly are seated.
Queen Butterfly Ugh, River. I'm so confused here. You told Marco he could be a knight?
King Butterfly Well, uh, yeah... I never actually thought we'd see him again. Ha ha!
Queen Butterfly I'm sorry, Marco, but I'm afraid that's not how it works.
Marco But King River gave me a knight's cape. M for Mewni.
King Butterfly No, my boy, that's my meat blanket.
Marco Meat blanket?
King Butterfly Yes. I also have a cheese doily. [holds it up]
Queen Butterfly [sighs]
Marco But I wore this thing every day. For weeks... weeks.
King Butterfly I'm sorry, Marco, but becoming a knight is no easy task.
Queen Butterfly Yes, it takes years of intense training, dear.
Lady Whosits Yeah. Years of intense training.
Other Knight He hasn't even been a squire.
Marco A squire? Hey, I can do that.
Queen Butterfly River, are any of our knights in need of a squire?
King Butterfly Wait, I've got it. How about we set him up with Sir Pop Lock and Dropeth? Hmm? That old scamp!
Queen Butterfly [whispering] Um, actually, he "popped, locked, and dropped".
King Butterfly You mean...? Oh, my.
Queen Butterfly Star, why don't you have Marco stay with you? It will give you two a chance to catch up while we figure this out.
Star Wait, wait, wait. I know a knight he can squire for.
Scene changes to large stairwell.
Marco Man, Star. I'm sorry. I feel like I just crash landed into your life–
Star Well, we figured it out.
Marco [awkward silence] Yeah... um, cool. Wow, heh. Check out all these stairs. Sure are a lot.
Star So, what does Jackie think about all this?
Marco Oh, well, she wasn't really into it... but... you know me. Ain't nobody telling me what to do. [chuckles, silence] That-that was a joke. Ugh. Actually, yeah, she... she broke up with me.
Star Well, I'm very sorry about that.
Marco So... are you and Tom–
Star Yep! Oh, look, here's that door we were walking to.
They hear Sir Lavabo laughing as they open the door to the laundry room. He is within a large pile of clothes.
Sir Lavabo [pulls out a sock] Ah ha! Found you!
Star Ah, here's our guy, Sir Lavabo. Hi!
Sir Lavabo Ah, princess. I will be with you shortly. I have a job to finish.
He lays the sock on a table next to another sock.
Sir Lavabo There. Every sock in the kingdom now has its mate. How may I be of service?
Star Well, I... I got you a squire.
Sir Lavabo [gasps] My own squire? What do you call him?
Star Marco Diaz.
Marco What? I'm squiring for the laundry guy?
Star Yeah. This is Sir Lavabo. He's super cool.
Marco But I'd be way down here in the basement.
Star Actually, sub-basement. So moody. You're gonna love it.
Marco Yeah, but, just the same, how about you princess me up something a little closer, like, say, something in the castle?
Star Marco, just 'cause I'm a princess doesn't mean I can do anything I want.
Marco Yeah, but if I'm all the way down here, we're never even gonna see each other.
Star [growls, yelling] You don't appreciate anything I do! [storms off]
Marco Star, wait. I didn't mean...
Star slams the door, leaving Marco in the laundry chamber.
Sir Lavabo Marco Diaz, are you ready for your first quest?
Marco Yeah... sure. What are we doing?
Sir Lavabo You must empty the lint catcher.
The scene jumps back to Star as she walks through the castle grounds.
Star [imitating Marco] "Oh, hey Star! I just showed up out of nowhere. Why don't you give me a job to do?" [herself] "Okay, Marco, here's a job." [imitating Marco] "No, not that job! Another job–"
Star trips on a large chain connected to a tree. The other end is connected to Eclipsa Butterfly, who's currently feeding birds seed.
Eclipsa Hello.
Star Eclipsa. They're giving you some outdoor time. That's great.
Eclipsa I know. And real dragon chains, too. [sigh] They make a lady feel so free.
Star Oh, yeah, that's, uh, that's really awesome. Can I sit? Sit, like, right there?
Eclipsa grunts while moving herself and the chain to make room for Star on the bench.
Star [sighs] Thanks.
Eclipsa [handing Star the bird seed] Here, take a load off. Feed the birds. Always makes me feel better.
Star [grabs the bag angrily, starts eating it] I don't get how some people think it's okay to just drop into your life without so much as a head's up text. You know what I'm saying? And then you try to help him out, no appreciation.
Eclipsa So, what's his name?
Star Huh? What? No, no, no, no, no, it's not like that. Well, well not anymore. It's just Marco.
Eclipsa Ah, Marco. So that's it.
Star Marco thinks that just because I'm a princess, I can get him whatever job he wants.
Eclipsa Well, can't you?
Star No... fine, yes. But that's not the point.
Eclipsa Well, now that he's here, do you want him to stay?
Star Uh, yeah... no. Ugh, I don't know. [sighs] Doesn't matter anyway. I already made him a laundry squire.
Eclipsa [concerned] He's squiring for the knight of the wash? Uh, well then your problem will take care of itself, dear.
Star What's that supposed to mean?
Eclipsa No squire has ever survived more than a day in the laundry room. It's the most dangerous place in the castle.
Star [gasps] Marco! I got to go. [throws the bag down] Thanks for the popcorn.
Eclipsa That wasn't popcorn.
Scene changes back to the laundry room.
Star Lavabo, where's Marco?
Sir Lavabo On his first quest, cleaning out the lint catcher, milady.
Lots of pink lint flows out of a large barrel.
Star Oh, no. [casting spell] Sparkle slushie juice blast!
Sir Lavabo Wait, princess!
Star's spell hurls her into the lint catcher. The catcher is full of fluffy pink lint. A large fan sits at the back.
Star Marco? [pause] Whoa!
A face in the lint wearing a sock as a hat sticks its tongue out at Star, then dissapears.
Star That was weird.
Star gazes more at her surroundings. She spies Marko with a horrified look on his face hiding behind a support beam.
Star [screaming] Marco! There you are.
She walks towards him.
Marco [whispering] No, don't. You're gonna wake it up.
Star What?
Marco [whispering] No, I said. Don't. You're gonna wake it up.
Star What?
Star arrives at where Marco is.
Marco [sighs, no longer whispering] I said, you're gonna wake it up.
All of the lint begins to crawl into a large pile. The pile roars, revealing several rows of teeth, and it begins lashing out with lint tentacles.
Marco Whoa!
Star [yelps]
It grabs Marco by the feet and reels him into its mouth.
Marco Whoa! Aah! Star!
Star [casting spell] Rolling thunder lightning blast!
The spell hits and Marco is dropped. The lint then grabs Star
Star Aah!
Marco Star!
Star screams as Marco charges, jumping into the lint's mouth causing it to drop Star.
Star Marco!
Lint [burps] Huh? [belches out Marco]
Marco lands on top of Star.
Star Marco, are you okay?
Marco [points] We gotta get that fan moving.
The lint moves in front of the fan, blocking their path. Marco begins punching one of its tentacles. Star blasts it with a spell. She then propels Marco forward with a blast from her wand.
Marco Hiya!
He grabs the fan's blades.
Marco It won't budge!
Star Wiggle harder!
The lint swarms around Marco.
Star I'm coming, Marco.
Star jumps up and grabs on to Marco's legs.
Star Ha, gotcha!
Marco Whoa!
Their combined weight forces the blade to start spinning, and the lint is sucked away into it. Marco grabs onto Star.
Star Fantastic exit beam!
Both scream as they exit the catcher and land in a pile of laundry.
Sir Lavabo Bravo! Fantastique! Only one other squire has survived the lint catcher. Me! Marco Diaz, you will make a fine squire for the knights of the wash.
Marco [laughs] Great. Thanks, I guess.
Star Uh, Lavabo, can you give us a sec? I need to talk to Marco alone.
Sir Lavabo As you wish, Princess. Long live the wash! [marches away]
Star [sighs] Okay, listen, Marco. Here's the thing. A lot has changed in my life since you left. It's complicated, but I finally figured out that I just need to be the best princess I can now. And with you here it's really hard to–
Marco Yeah, yeah. I totally get it. It was a crazy bad idea for me to do this without giving you a heads up. I'll go back to Earth.
Star That's not what I meant.
The scene changes to a hallway in the castle lined with many paintings.
Marco Okay, can I, uh, take my hands off my face, please? I feel like I'm gonna run into something.
Star Okay, stop. This is the place. [casts spell] Sparkle glitter bomb expand. Okay, you can look now.
Marco Whoa.
He opens a newly formed door, leading to his room.
Marco Is that... [gasps] What? No way! I can't believe it!
The laser puppies greet him.
Marco [excited] My room! [gasps] All my stuff! My galactic kung fu doll. [gasps] This is so great!
Star Marco, kneel.
Marco [laughs] Uh, what?
Star Marco, sit.
All the puppies sit.
Marco What are-are you doing?
Star [clears throat] Head down, please.
Star is enveloped in a cone of light.
Star I hereby declare that you, Marco Ubaldo Diaz, shall henceforth be my royal squire, to stay by my side in times of peace or danger, as my most trusted confidant and advisor.
As she speaks, Star touches her wand to each of Marco's shoulders.
Star To go clubbing with me even when he's too tired, to share his late night nachos, but most importantly to be my very best friend so long as we both shall live. Amen. Do you accept?
Marco I do. [pause, they smile] Wait, do princesses even have squires?
Star I'm a princess. I can do what I want.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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