Ludo, Where Art Thou?/Transcript

	Episode begins in the Forest of Certain Death. A mail carrier and his warnicorn travel quickly through the forest.
Mail carrier	[panting] Okay, Trot-Fudge Sundae! You got this! [wails]
	The mail carrier's cart jumps over a snapping Venus flytrap-like monster. The cart slows down near Ludo's parents' house.
Mail carrier and warnicorn	[panting]
Mail carrier	[leaves mail on house's front porch] Here you go. [leaves]
	Ludo's father Brudo pushes a plank of wood aside and looks through the mail slot. He opens the door to pick up the mail.
Lord Brudo	[grumbles, grunts, closes door] [tossing envelopes] Junk... Junk... Junk... [holding a box] Mm, what's in here?
	The box reads "LUDO" on the bottom.
Brudo	Ugh! The worst junk. [tosses box in trash can] When will they stop sending us that garbage?
	Dennis is seen hanging out at the bottom of the stairs. He brings the box to his room and closes the door. He dumps the box's contents onto the floor.
Dennis	Ludo shirt, Ludo mask, Ludo mask, Ludo mask, Ludo mask. [groans]
	A shiny object glimmers under the pile of Ludo merchandise.
Dennis	[gasps] Dimensional scissors?
	Dennis closes the curtains and takes out a book called "Black Metallurgy and Ores of the Multiverse". He heats up a beaker of liquid and drops the scissors in it.
Dennis	All right, Ludo. Where are you?
	The liqud in the beaker turns blue.
Dennis	Oh! Blue! Let's see. What's blue? [flips through book pages] Oh, please don't be the Cat-Face Dimension.
	The liquid turns green.
Dennis	Wait, green? Okay, green.
	The liquid turns pink.
Dennis	No, pink. Okay, that's—
	The liqud turns blue again.
Dennis	Blue again? What's going on?
	The liquid then turns a rainbow of colors and swirls around in the beaker.
Dennis	Uh-oh. Oh, no-no-no-no-no!
	The beaker explodes, and purple smoke bursts out the window.
Dennis	[coughing]
Brudo	(o.s.) Dennis!
	Brudo enters the room.
Brudo	What's going on up here?
Dennis	[wheezes] Nothing.
Brudo	Well, that nothing interrupted me and my stickers! [sniffs sticker] Mmm. Good old scratch-n'-sniff. What's this? [steps on Ludo bobblehead, groaning] Honey! He's doing it again! Dennis, do you know what a deadbeat is? It's you! That's what you're gonna be if you keep acting like your brother – collecting all this garbage, destroying property, acting like you're too good for us!
Lady Avarius	[appears in doorway] Oh! Are we berating Dennis? It's not even dinnertime!
Brudo	He's hoarding Ludo stuff again.
Avarius	Dennis, how could you? Ludo betrayed us. He and his goons took over the castle. He was the worst!
Dennis	[under his breath] You're the worst.
Brudo	[menacingly] You got something to say?
Dennis	No.
Brudo	"No" what?
Dennis	No... sir.
Brudo	That's what I thought. Now clean up this mess and come help me and your mother with our stickers.
Avarius	And mind your nails. We need those fresh young fingers.
	Brudo and Avarius leave the room and close the door. With a sad expression, Dennis starts cleaning up the mess. Bird and Spider emerge from his closet.
Dennis	[sighs] No, you guys. You need to get back in the closet. My dad catches you out here, he's gonna freak.
	Spider picks up Ludo's dimensional scissors and drops them in front of Dennis.
Dennis	Spider, these things are useless unless I know where he is.
Spider	[clicks mandibles]
Dennis	What? Y-You just want me to... [snips scissors]
Spider	[nods head]
Dennis	[sighs] Okay. [opens portal] Be my guest.
	Spider jumps into the portal. Dennis looks over at Bird, who just stares back at him.
Bird	[squawks softly]
	Spider emerges back through the portal.
Spider	[clicks mandibles]
Dennis	I-I told you, they don't work if you don't know where he is.
Spider	[clicks mandibles]
Dennis	[sighs] Okay.
	Over the course of some time, Dennis opens portal after portal for Spider to go into.
Dennis	[groans] Come on! [smacks himself] Stay awake!
	Spider returns through a black and green portal.
Dennis	What is it?
Spider	[clicking mandibles]
Dennis	[gasps] You found him!
	Dennis pulls Ludo's old skull helmet out from under his bed and puts it on his head.
Dennis	Let's get my brother.
	Scene cuts to a house on an asteroid somewhere in the dimensional void. Dennis and Spider emerge from a portal and stumble onto the front lawn.
Dennis	[yelps] Our... house? Made of garbage.
	Dennis enters the front gate. Ludo, wearing a robe and with his beard hair tied behind his head, is seen watering the plants and whistling a tune.
Dennis	Ludo?
Ludo	[turns around] Wha-a-a-t?! Spider!
	Dennis has his arms stretched out to hug Ludo, but Ludo runs right past him and hugs Spider.
Ludo	[laughs] It's you! Oh, my friend!
Dennis	Brother, it's me, Dennis.
Ludo	Dennis? How long has it been? Last time I saw you, you were this tall. And now you're exactly as tall as I am! What are you doing here?
Dennis	I came to bring you home.
Ludo	Dennis, this is my home. Come inside.
Dennis	[goes inside]
Ludo	[to Spider] I just cleaned up. I can't have you come into the house. You'll make a mess. Look, Papa hasn't forgotten about you. [shakes bugs out of his beard and into a bowl] Ooh, been saving up a stash for my best girl!
Spider	[eats bugs]
Ludo	[laughs] Bon appétit! [to Dennis] Come sit.
	Ludo leads Dennis over to a chair and takes the skull helmet away.
Ludo	Let me take care of this for you. [throws skull helmet in the trash]
Dennis	[stammers] But that's your helmet from when you ruled the Monster Army.
Ludo	And now it's ruling the garbage.
Dennis	That was a piece of your legacy.
Ludo	[pushes Dennis's chair into another room] I'm done with that part of my life. Now how about a drink, you? Nothing too fizzy, of course. Make yourself comfortable. Could you ask Mother and Father if they'd like a beverage?
Dennis	Uh... Mother and Father?
	Sack dummies shaped like Brudo and Avarius are seen on the couch next to Dennis.
Ludo	Dennis, do you want crushed ice or regular? [humming happily]
	Ludo returns with a tray of cups and gives one to Dennis.
Ludo	Oh, thank you, Mother. I do make the best sodas, don't I?
	Dennis dumps screws and brown sludge out of his cup.
Dennis	Thanks, yeah. Look, Ludo? You gotta come home. Mom and Dad are driving me nuts.
Ludo	[looking crazy] But you can't say that in front of them, Dennis.
Dennis	Okay, fine, Ludo. Let's just go talk in the kitchen, then. [leads Ludo away from parent dummies] Look, I really, really need you to come home.
Ludo	I am home.
Dennis	No, Ludo. I'm at my wits' end. The yelling, the berating, the stupid scratch-n'-sniff stickers. All they do is push me around and talk trash about you!
Ludo	What are you talking about, Dennis? Mother and Father love us!
	A mug falls off of the dummy shaped like Brudo.
Ludo	They're so happy you're here! cha-rahds after dinner! [whispering] They always let me win! [giggles]
Dennis	What are you talking about—?
Ludo	Just kidding! I'm just really good at cha-rahds. Now stop worrying. That's not the Dennis I barely remember. Make that frowny turn upside-downy!
Dennis	Okay. But after dinner—
Ludo	And cha-rahds.
Dennis	And after... cha-rahds... we're leaving, okay?
Ludo	Yes, Dennis, whatever you say.
	Scene cuts to several hours later. Ludo tucks the dummies into bed.
Ludo	There we go, all tucked in! What's that? Oh, yes. How could I forget? [pats dummy] Good night, my darling.
	Ludo leaves the room and joins Dennis in the hallway.
Ludo	[whispering] They're finally asleep. What angels!
Dennis	Awesome. Cool. Now let's go.
Ludo	Go? Dennis, I can't just go.
Dennis	Ludo—
Ludo	Shhh!
Dennis	[yelling] We don't need to whisper! There's no one who can hear us! Now come on! [walks away] This is ridiculous. I'm gonna lose my mind. Oof!
	Dennis bumps into the Brudo and Avarius dummies.
Dennis	What the?
Ludo	Mother! [laughs] Father! What are you doing up?
Dennis	What are you doing?
Ludo	Cha-rahds? At this hour? Mmm... Well, you twisted my arm! I'll do it! [giggles]
Dennis	This whole thing is a cha-rahd! [grunts] Charade!
Ludo	Just one more round, Dennis! Let's humor them. Come on, what do you say?
	Dennis picks up the dummies and sets them down on the other side of the room.
Dennis	Okay, let's get out of—
	The dummies appear in front of Dennis again.
Dennis	Where did—?
Ludo	I don't know.
Dennis	[groans, pushes dummies to the side] You know what? Never mind. The sooner we leave, the better.
	The dummies appear beside Ludo again.
Ludo	But mother and father want us to stay.
Dennis	[groans] No, forget it!
	Dennis grabs Ludo by the hand and leads him out of the room. Ludo ends up in front of Dennis with the dummies yet again.
Ludo	Wow, they really wanna play cha-rahds. Once they get going... [laughs]
Dennis	Stop! This isn't funny! These aren't our parents. This is actual garbage.
	Dennis takes a wire hanger off of the Lady Avarius dummy, which crumbles in his hand.
Ludo	Oh, no! Mother! We can fix this. We can fix this. We can fix this. It's fine, we can fix this. We can fix this. We can fix this.
Dennis	You're losing it.
Ludo (imitating Brudo)	Calling his own mother and father garbage?! How about I teach you to apologize?!
Ludo (imitating Avarius)	Watch his fingers, dear.
Dennis	[under his breath] ...You watch your fingers.
Ludo (imitating Brudo)	What did you say?!
Dennis	I said you watch your fingers, sir!
	Dennis tackles the Brudo dummy to the floor and beats it up, but the other dummies dogpile on him.
Ludo	Dennis!
Dennis	[growls, bursts out of the dogpile]
Ludo (imitating Brudo)	This is what we get!
Ludo (imitating Avarius)	For raising brats like your and your brother!
	Dennis tackles more dummies to the floor. A giant Brudo dummy towers over Dennis.
Ludo (imitating Brudo)	Oh, but you're a big man now who thinks he and his brother are too good for this family!
Dennis	Yes, I do!
	Dennis punches the dummy over and over before obliterating it with a single punch. Another Avarius dummy appears made out of a basketball hoop.
Dennis	[panting]
Ludo (imitating Avarius)	Look at you! You're just like your awful brother!
Dennis	Good. Because he's... my... hero!
	Dennis picks up a basketball with Brudo's face, dribbles it toward the hoop, and does a slam dunk, shattering the backboard.
Ludo	[teary-eyed] Dennis! [hugs Dennis's leg] You stood up for me! No one has ever stood up for me.
Dennis	Of course. [hugs Ludo] I love you, big brother.
Ludo	Oh, I lo... lub... oh, how to... l-o-o... ove? Lo-o-ve... yo... u-u? Tu... I love you, too!
Dennis	Let's get out of here. We can face the real mom and dad now.
Ludo	I can't. Something very important happened today, but I have lots more I need to work through before I can leave.
Dennis	Well, I'm here to help. You're not alone anymore, big brother.
Ludo	I know that now. But I have to do this part on my own.
Dennis	But... you're my hero. No one else in the family was brave enough to leave. I can't stand up to them on my own.
Ludo	Dennis, you just did! Did you see that dunk? You can jump higher than they could ever reach. You need to go find your own adventures.
	Dennis and Ludo share another hug.
Ludo	You're going to be just fine, kiddo. Take good care of Spider. She's quiet, but she's a smart lady.
Dennis	And I'll take care of Bird, too.
Ludo	I don't know who that is. Goodbye.
	Dennis and Spider leave through the dimensional portal. Ludo opens a closet, revealing dummies shaped like Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz.
Ludo	Hello, Star and Marco. How about a game of cha-rahds?
	(end song)