Episode begins on exterior shot of Echo Creek Academy. Cut to interior on Marco, waiting at the lockers with some slight stubble on his face.
Marco Star! Hurry up!
Star [offscreen, panting] I'm coming!
Still panting, Star rides over to Marco atop Cloudy, with heart creatures from her wand floating around her.
Star Hey, Cloudy, can you put me down?
Cloudy Sure thing, Star.
A rainbow extends from the cloud, and Star slides down.
Star Thanks, guys. You're the best.
Cloudy We love you, Star.
Star pulls out her wand.
Star [blushing] Love you too.
Star zaps the magical creatures and they fade away, screaming. She then works the combination on her locker, wand between her teeth.
Marco Can you do anything without magic?
Star Sunshine Locker Slap!
With a blast from her wand, a minotaur appears and rams into Star's locker, taking its door off. He high-fives Star, the door still stuck to his horns.
Minotaur Love you, Star.
He runs off, squealing.
Marco [unimpressed] Mm.
Star [waving her arms around as she attempts to imitate Marco] "You use too much magic, ah-ah-ah, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah." [blows raspberry]
Jackie Lynn Thomas rides by on her skateboard.
Jackie Hey, Marco!
Marco waves, while Jackie stops at Blake's locker. Blake also has stubble on his face.
Jackie Hey, Blake. Sweet beard.
Blake Eh, thanks, Jackie. I grew it last night.
Cut back to Star and Marco. Marco looks dejected.
Jackie [offscreen] It's so full.
Marco One night? I've been working on mine for weeks.
Star comes up behind Marco.

Well, do you know what the quickest way to grow a beard is?

Marco [monotone] Is it--
Star [cutting him off] It's magic!
She makes a flying horse instantly appear, high-fiving it.
Horse [whispering] Magic...!
It flies away.
Marco I'll stick with my peach fuzz, thanks. This may not be much, but it's mine.
Star Marco, I've got a magic wand. I might as well use it.
She blasts her face with it, resulting in a beard on her face and a platypus on top of her head.
Marco Sometimes there's a sense of satisfaction in doing things yourself.
He starts to walk away. Star runs after him, the platypus falling to the floor.
Star Let me put a beard on you! [offscreen] Zap-zap-zap-zap-zap...
Marco [offscreen] No, don't touch it! ["karate" sounds]
Exterior shot of Diaz Household. Cut to interior on Marco standing before the bathroom mirror, more stubble on his face this time.
Marco I did it. I grew a beard! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
Star is standing at the adjacent mirror, using magic to brush her hair.
Star [smug] Congratulations, Marco. It looks really good on you.
Marco Star, why are you making that face?
Star [sweating] What face? I don't make face.
Marco You used magic on me, didn't you?
Star [sweating more, blushing] [nervous sounds] Nope.
Marco Oh, come on, Star!
Star You come on! You look so good in your little beardy...!
Marco I wanted to grow it myself!
He picks up a razor. Close-up on Marco's cheek. Sparkles appear near his beard and magical creatures fly out of it. His beard then begins to grow rapidly.
Marco Star! My face!
His beard grows enough to fill up the entire bathroom, more magical creatures flying out of it. Exterior shot of Diaz Household, as Marco's beard shoots out the windows and wraps around the house. Star falls outside as well, tangled in a strand of the beard and hanging upside down. Cut to her running over to inspect the beard.
Star Wow. That is a lotta hair. But don't you worry your pretty little face, Marco! It's nothing a little magic can't fix. [reaches for her wand] Sparkle Razor Shave!
Close-up on her hand, revealing she's pulled out a taquito instead.
Star Oh, that's a taquito. [shoves it in her mouth and eats it] Hmm. But where's my wand? Gotta be around here somewhere. [turns in circles looking for it, then grows more frantic] Where is it?! [dives in and out of the piles of hair, to no success] Wand! Wand! Aah, I must have dropped it in the bathroom when Marco's beard exploded! Okay. Think, Star. What would a normal person without a wand do?
Star's imagination sequence appears in a cloud above her head: a dolphin creature in a dress shirt is sitting at a desk in front of a computer, slapping the keyboard with its flippers.
Dolphin Werk werk werk werk werk werk werk werk werk werk...
Star sweeps the cloud away.
Star [groans] That's no help! [gasps] Wait a second-- [her hearts change to lightbulbs] I got it!
Cut to Star kicking open the door of the Diazes' shed, a pair of hedge clippers in hand. Cut to her feet as her left foot stomps onto the ground before tilting up to her grinning face.
Star Normal person. [clicks the hedge clippers]
She runs to the front door and opens it. Some more of the beard spills outside. Star gasps, then quickly recovers.
Star I'm coming for ya, Marco!
She uses the hedge clippers to cut the beard, clearing a path into the house. She clips her way farther into the house, then stops, tired.
Star Ooh, man. This would be a lot easier if I had my wand. [she holds up the clippers] But at least I got you, Mr. Hedge Clippers.
She clicks the hedge clippers as though they're speaking while she provides a voice.
"Mr. Hedge Clippers" "Yeah! You don't need no stinkin' wand! I wanna cut more!"
Star shudders, holding the hedge clippers away from her.
Cut to a close-up shot of a tracking device, displaying an image of Star with the hedge clippers and, some distance away from her, the wand. Zoom out slightly to reveal it's being controlled by Toffee, outside the house with Ludo and the other monsters.
Toffee I have location on the wand. It's inside the house. And it's ours for the taking.
Ludo stares at the house in shock.
Ludo That's a house? It's covered in h-hair. Maybe we should come back another time.
Toffee Of course. It's just... the wand's never been unattended before.
The other monsters react with awe, turning to Ludo expectantly. Ludo turns to look at them, then steels himself.
Ludo Fine! But you idiots are going to carry me. [climbs onto Big Chicken's back, punching the monster continuously as he speaks] I don't want a single hair touching me! [they proceed toward the house, the other henchmen following] Hold still, you dumb bird! What are you waiting for? Hurry up! Protect me!
Toffee watches the other monsters approach the house, then follows at the end of the line.
Close-up of Marco's face as he panics, only his eyes and nose visible, his voice muffled by the hair. Shot of his arm already covered in hair, with more strands reaching out to surround his hand. Muffled scream as a wider shot reveals his beard continuing to grow all around him.
Cut to Star swinging on a strand of hair, then continuing to use the hedge clippers to clear a path. She swims through a section of the hair.
Star Man, not having a wand isn't so bad. I bet I'm all the way to the-- ooh!
She falls through the layer of hair onto the Diazes' couch, then stands up, shocked.
Star I'm still in the living room?! Ugh!
A strand of hair reaches out, grabs the hedge clippers, and pulls them away.
Star Mr. Hedge Clippers!
The hedge clippers are pulled all the way into the tangle of hair.
"Mr. Hedge Clippers" Avenge me...!
Star turns around at the sound of a rumbling noise. A huge ball of hair rolls through an empty space into the room, landing on top of her.
Cut to Ludo riding Big Chicken through the hair.
Ludo Keep moving! [scared] What's the holdup?
His henchmen have stopped just ahead of him.
Beard Deer [panting] Master Ludo, can we take a break?
Giraffe monster I'm dehydrated.
Big Chicken [clucks, sweating]
Ludo [sweating] No breaks, bird! [cringes as a strand of hair reaches for him; Three-eyed Potato Baby pushes it back] This is taking forever! Let's go. Do your job!
The henchmen look back at him, disappointed. Toffee walks up to Ludo with the tracking device.
Toffee The wand is...that way. We're close.
Shot of the wand flashing on the device's monitor.
Ludo [shocked exclamation] W-Well, c-clear the path and move it, you idiots, move it! [rides up to the other henchmen, hitting some with his skull hat, while Toffee follows behind]
Toffee Here.
He hands a drink in a glass to the giraffe monster, then walks on ahead. The giraffe monster smiles, touched.
Cut to Star held in place by several strands of hair.
Star [groans] I'm stuck! [choking sobs] Oh-h, I wish I had my wa-a-and.
She leans on her side in the hair, then looks up as she hears barking. One of the laser puppies is trapped by the hair as well.
Star Oh, hey there, little guy. You stuck here too? [sleepy] Oh, I'm so tired. And this hair is so soft. [closes her eyes] Maybe we should take a little nap together.
Shot of complete darkness.
Laser Puppy [unseen] Star! Star Butterfly!
Star's eyelids open, revealing the laser puppy sitting before her.
Star Hello? Who's there?
Laser Puppy It is I, Laser Puppy!
Star Whaaaa...?
Shot of Star lying on her back, the puppy sitting on top of her. It begins to glow with a red light and floats into the air.
Star Ooh, I thought you couldn't get any cuter, but look at you!
Laser Puppy Thank you! I wag my tail humbly!
The puppy floats closer to Star's face.
Laser Puppy You must not give up. Marco needs you!
Star But it's just sooo hard without my wand!
Laser Puppy Let me remind you of a time before your wand: when a precocious preteen got mixed up with snakes, goblins, and ghouls. All while looking super-cute!
As the puppy speaks, corresponding images appear in a cloud beside it: a younger Star, Star tangling snakes together, Star standing on top of a horde of defeated goblins, Star riding some terrified-looking ghouls, and Star lying happily atop a pile of skeletons.
Star [quickly] Oh my gosh I was adorable.
Laser Puppy You never needed your wand before. Why do you need it now?
Star looks away, in thought.
Laser Puppy Also, I'm a puppy that shoots lasers out of my eyes. The choice is yours, Star Butterfly: either rise up and conquer, or wither here and die! [echoes on "die"]
Shot of Star asleep in the hair, clutching the laser puppy. She wakes up with a gasp, then turns to the puppy with a determined look. She stands up with it, using its lasers to free herself from the hair, and continues cutting her way through the tangle. Blasting one section of the hair reveals Ludo and Big Chicken in front of her.
Star Ludo! What are you doing here?!
Ludo It's the girl!
Ludo's henchmen jump from the hair to attack Star. Star easily punches and kicks them away. Toffee, near Ludo, inspects the tracking device.
Toffee Wait! The wand is that way.
Ludo follows where Toffee points, noticing the staircase through a gap in the hair. He turns to his henchmen.
Ludo Don't let her get the wand!
Star notices as well and shoves the henchmen surrounding her away, heading for the staircase. Ludo and Big Chicken dodge as Star jumps past them, Ludo cringing as a strand of hair nearly touches him.
Star jumps onto a table, then flips off it through the air to land at the foot of the staircase. She runs up the stairs, but Beard Deer grabs her by the leg. She kicks some hair into his mouth and crawls up the stairs, gripping the railing for support.
Star gets pulled back again, allowing the two-headed monster to get ahead of her. She pulls at one of the strands of hair on the stairs, causing him to fall backwards. He lands on top of Star and the other henchmen, knocking them to the foot of the stairs. Star pushes her way out and runs back up the stairs.
Star kicks the giraffe monster into the railing, tangles the warthog monster in some hair and knocks him into the living room, and races to the top of the stairs against Ludo's army. Bearicorn reaches the bathroom door first and opens it to see Marco trapped in the tangle of hair within.
Marco [muffled, panicked noises]
Bearicorn closes the door.
Bearicorn Uh, yeah, the bathroom is occupied!
Star kicks the door and Bearicorn out of her way, lands in the bathroom, and gasps when she sees Marco, only his eyes visible in the mass of hair. Marco continues to panic.
Star Whoa.
Star notices her wand tangled in the hair, but before she can move toward it, Ludo's henchmen land on top of her and knock her to the floor. By now, Ludo and Big Chicken have made it to the room as well.
Beard Deer Master! The wand is yours!
As Ludo approaches the wand, a strand of hair grabs Big Chicken, pulling the monster away from Ludo and into the hair. Ludo hits the ground and stares at the hair before him in horror. Zoom into Ludo's panicked eyes.
A flashback begins, showing a young Ludo at his birthday party with friends.
Ludo's father We've got someone who wants to wish you a very giggly birthday, Ludo. Here comes the Tickle Monster.
A giant hairy monster enters through the door. The other monster children run away as the Tickle Monster approaches Ludo. 
Tickle Monster Tickle tickle tickle.
The monster tickles Ludo continuously, causing him to laugh and then cry hysterically.
Back to the present, as Ludo remains frozen in fear, sweating as he stares at the wand just a few feet ahead. He looks around, making panicked noises, then cautiously steps forward onto a strand of hair.
Ludo continues through the hair nervously, moving unsteadily and panicking incoherently. As he progresses, his henchmen, Star (still at the bottom of the pile), and Toffee (away from the others) follow his attempt for the wand with shock and concern.
Ludo Ah...this is disgusting...
The wand is just before him, wrapped in the hair. Ludo stands and stares at it, still panicking and sweating. He reaches a hand toward it, then, before he can touch it, breaks down completely. He collapses into the hair, laughing hysterically.
Ludo [laughing] It tickles! [laughing] It's my birthday!
Toffee grins at Ludo's failure, unseen by the other monsters, who mutter in dismay. Then they notice Star is gone.
Beard Deer Hey! Where is she?
Star emerges from the hair, wand in hand. Toffee swiftly leaves the scene.
Star Normally, I'd blast you guys with narwhals right now, but hey: you don't need magic for everything!
Shot of the exterior of the house as the sound of Star beating up the monsters is heard. Ludo and his henchmen are knocked outside in a pile, groaning in pain. Rafael and Angie Diaz, arriving home with their groceries, stare at the monsters in surprise. Mrs. Diaz presses the car lock button.
Cut to Star and Marco in the interior of the bathroom. Though Marco's beard still fills the room, most of his face and arms are now visible.
Star Ohmigosh, Marco! I was looking everywhere for you!
Marco [muffled by the beard] I'm so itchy! Please help me!
Star You're right! I was using my wand too much. But, I am Star Butterfly, an independent woman with fists like hammers!
Marco [muffled] I don't care! Just get rid of the hair!
Star And now, I shall shave this beard off of you-- with this tiny razor! [she holds up Marco's razor, making shaving motions] Just like a normal person. Thank you, Marco, for teaching me such a valuable lesson.
Marco, covered except for his eyes by the hair again, screams as his beard fills the room and closes in on the two of them.
Cut to Castle Avarius.
Ludo What a pathetic display back there! You guys make me sick! No more milkshake privileges for you!
His henchmen groan, and cringe as Ludo continues berating them.
Ludo I want you to use that time to think about what you've done!
Toffee Perhaps they should use that time to think about what you've done.
Ludo Exactly! ...wait, what?
Toffee Let me ask you a question. What kind of leader throws you into a pit of hair, makes you do all the work, and shows you no appreciation for your sacrifices?
As Toffee speaks, he paces in front of the monsters, at one point taking the fly monster in his arms. He stands before the other monsters as he addresses Ludo.
Ludo Are you talking...about me?
Toffee What kind of leader has all the power in the universe at his fingertips... [mocking] and gets tickled right out it?
Ludo Toffee, what are you doing?
Toffee Your soldiers deserve better.
Ludo [struggles to form words] You are fired!
Toffee Let's put it to your soldiers. Who's the better leader: Ludo...or me?
The other monsters speak up in favor of Toffee.
Ludo You guys belong to me! Three-eyed Potato Baby, I am like a father to you. Beard Deer, I took you in off the streets! [points at Toffee] Are you stupid imbeciles really going to listen to him?!
Exterior shot of Ludo's Castle. Ludo is thrown out the door and lands hard on the ground. He turns and runs back to the door, where Toffee and his former henchmen are watching.
Ludo You can't do this! This is my castle! Those are my monsters!
Toffee looks down at Ludo.
Toffee Not anymore.
Ludo stares up with tears in his eyes.
Ludo Toffee...
Toffee slams the castle door.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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