Episode begins with Eclipsa applying lipstick while looking at a mirror. | |
Eclipsa Butterfly | Coo. Coo. |
Archibald | [holding "Pigeon Made Easy" book] Coo coo coo. |
Meteora Butterfly | [shakes her rattle] Coo-coo! |
All | [cooing] |
Janna Ordonia | [enters room] Is... Is this a bad time? |
Eclipsa | Oh, Janna! [chuckles] You'll have to pardon me. I'm just brushing up on my pigeon for the dinner party tonight with the rich pigeons. Thank you for offering to babysit. |
Eclipsa puts Meteora in her baby crib. | |
Meteora | [baby talk] |
Janna | Hey, anything for the Queen of Darkness. |
Eclipsa | I would've asked M-A-R-C-O, but I get the sense she doesn't like him very much. |
Janna | Yeah, who can blame her? [to Meteora] Marco! |
Meteora | [hisses] |
Janna | [chuckles] Exactly. |
Eclipsa | Ooh. She really does take after her father, doesn't she? [kisses Meteora's forehead] You be good, my darling. I'll be back by 8:00. [leaves] |
Janna | If you're not, I charge double for overtime! |
The door closes. | |
Janna | Well, let the babysitting begin. [starts playing mobile game] |
Meteora | [giggles, shakes her rattle, turns her head 360 degrees] |
Glossaryck | (o.s.) Psst! Meteora. |
Meteora | Huh? |
Glossaryck | (o.s.) Down here! |
Meteora looks down to see Glossaryck at the foot of her crib. He's wearing a leaf hat, and his right arm is in a cast. | |
Glossaryck | Hello, Princess. |
Meteora | [exclaims, claps] |
Glossaryck | Oh, geez. You would not believe the day I've had today. |
Meteora | [baby talk, points at Glossaryck's cast] |
Glossaryck | Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah. My arm. Just a little boo-boo. Nothing to really worry about. |
Meteora | [crying] |
Glossaryck | Oh, no-no-no. Don't cry. Your buddy Glossaryck's okay. Look. Look. I've got another arm. Plus, I've got a silly hat. |
Meteora | [baby talk] |
Glossaryck | Now, as your guide to all magical matters, are you ready to continue our lessons? |
Meteora | [exclaims, claps] |
Glossaryck | Have you been practicing the "dip down" exercises I taught you? |
Meteora | Dee-daa! |
Glossaryck | No, no. A little longer and a little louder. |
Meteora | Di-i-i-i-i-i... |
Glossaryck | No-no-no-no. That... T-That's all wrong. It's just "dip down". Two short words. |
Meteora | [louder] Di-i-i-i-i-i...! [sweating] |
Glossaryck | No. N-N-Now you're just getting louder. No, no. No, no, no, no, no! |
Meteora grabs Glossaryck and sucks on his forehead gem. | |
Glossaryck | I know how much joy this brings you. Let's get going. |
Glossaryck opens a dimensional portal with his foot. Meteora tosses Glossaryck aside and goes through it. | |
Glossaryck | Wait. Wait! Don't go in there without me. [follows Meteora through the portal] |
Janna | [still playing mobile game] Shh-shh-shh. There, there. [rocks Meteora's crib with her foot] Oh! Triple burger bonus! Yes! |
Scene cuts to the Plains of Time dimension. | |
Glossaryck | Welcome... to the Plains of Time. To complete your lesson, we got to go back in time. And we need Father Time for that. |
Meteora | [turns her head 180 degrees, baby talk] |
Glossaryck | Oh, yes. Yes, yes. I can go back in time. But I can't take a passenger with me. That's why we need Father Time. Where is he? |
Glossaryck uses his eyes like binoculars to look across the landscape. Meteora grabs a flying clock with her tongue and eats it. | |
Meteora | [baby talk] |
Glossaryck | Yes, of course I knew he wasn't going to be here. If he was here, it would've been easy, and you wouldn't learn anything. |
Meteora | [baby talk] |
Glossaryck | Um... Sure, there's another way to time travel. I just, uh... [covers his face with his hands] I really don't want to see Reynaldo today. |
Meteora | [baby talk] |
Glossaryck | Reynaldo the Bald Pate? Ferryman of the River of Time? |
Glossaryck points to a subway-like staircase leading underground. | |
Glossaryck | [groans] Okay. Let's just get it over with. [leads Meteora down the stairs] Look, look, he's gonna talk and stuff. Uh, just... don't interact, okay? |
Underground, Glossaryck and Meteora stand in front of the River of Time. | |
Meteora | [exclaims] |
Glossaryck | All right, Meteora, pull up a seat. |
Meteora | [sits down] |
Glossaryck | This might take a while. Sometimes— |
Glossaryck is cut off by a blinding light off-screen. | |
Glossaryck | [cries out] You know what?! Never mind! He's here! |
Reynaldo the Bald Pate appears on a gondola with a figurehead shaped like his own head. | |
Reynaldo the Bald Pate | For passage through my timely sea, this question you must answer me. Who speaks in rhyme and wanders time with none to call his family? No phone calls, cards, or— |
Glossaryck | Thank you, Reynaldo! Please be quiet. Just... We're in a hurry, and we need to get going. [carries Meteora onto the gondola] |
Reynaldo | What doth bring you to my land? A passage through time, swift and grand? |
Glossaryck | Ah-bup-bup-bup! We don't have time for riddles today. Princess Meteora and I need to go back. |
Reynaldo | An inch, a pinch, the years unravel. How far dost thou wish to travel? The length of something short and flat, or perhaps something—? |
Glossaryck | Ah-bup-bup-bup! We just need to go... to the Age of Butterflies. |
Reynaldo | With haste, we must depart this place and skim the flow of time and space. Away we go and briskly float. We ride, us three, upon a... |
Glossaryck | ...Boat. |
Reynaldo | [whispers] And boom goes the dynamite. |
Glossaryck | At this point, I don't even know what you're getting out of this. |
Reynaldo | [rowing gondola] What's dank and musky like a foot and falls apart when overcooked? In soups and stews this foulness lingers. If you must touch, don't smell your fingers. |
Glossaryck | Meteora, I really must apologize. Father Time's wheel would've been so much faster and less... Reynaldo. |
Meteora | [chews on Glossaryck's mustache] |
Glossaryck | But why don't you practice your "dip down" while we're waiting? |
Meteora | Dee-daa! [falls backward, exclaims] Dee-daa! Dee-daa! |
Glossaryck | Okay, that's good. But try it with more emotion. |
Meteora | [exclaims] |
Glossaryck | A-All right. You're getting closer. |
Reynaldo | I can fill a room or just one heart. I cannot be shared, only apart. What am I? |
Glossaryck | Loneliness. Ah. You want to get back on the Magical High Commission. |
Reynaldo | [whinnies, nods his head] |
Glossaryck | I don't think so, Reynaldo. The riddle thing, it's... [sighs] Look. Just because I created the Commission doesn't mean they listen to me. |
Reynaldo | [sighs] You have arrived at the time you seek. |
Glossaryck | Okay, great. Thank you! Come on. Let's go, Meteora. [carries Meteora away] |
Reynaldo | Bye... Dad. |
The staircase leading to the River of Time rises out of the ground in a forest, and Glossaryck carries Meteora out. | |
Glossaryck | [groans] Oh, my goodness. They keep you well fed, don't they? All right. Are you ready for your lesson? 'Cause we're here— Oh, no. |
A sea of gold water is seen, with multiple alligators in it. At the shore, several Mewmans are seen standing in a boat, covered in gold water. | |
Mewmans | [shuddering] |
Man 1 | W-Where are we? |
Woman | Who are we? |
Glossaryck | [groans] Reynaldo brought us back too far. Let's go, Meteora. |
Man 2 | Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Do you... Do you know who we are? |
Glossaryck | Uh... yes. |
Man 2 | Can you help us? |
Glossaryck | [groans] Fine. Let's just do the abbreviated version here. |
Glossaryck takes the Mewnipendence Day pop-up book out of Meteora's pajamas. | |
Glossaryck | [opens book] A long time ago arrived the first settlers of Mewni. That's you. |
Mewmans | Wow... |
Glossaryck | A modest people with noble pursuits – life, liberty, and... corn. The end. [closes book, starts floating away] Oh. O-One more thing. [to Meteora] Mind if I borrow your rattle? |
Glossaryck takes Meteora's rattle and scoops a sphere of magic out of the water. A millhorse appears inside the sphere. | |
Millhorse | [yawns] |
Glossaryck puts the millhorse inside the rattle and closes it. | |
Glossaryck | Eenie, meenie, Mewni, moe... Okay, you, Moe. Here you go. |
Glossaryck tosses the rattle into the hands of the Mewman woman in the middle. | |
Woman | Ah... |
The rattle transforms into the Royal Magic Wand. | |
Man 1 | Ooh! |
Glossaryck | Congratulations! You can do magic with that thing. |
Woman | Okay. |
Glossaryck | Come on, Meteora. We've got to hitch another ride with my weird son. [to Mewmans] Oh, and another one more thing! There's a storm coming! So y'all might want to huddle around that stump! |
The Mewmans look at the giant stump nearby as thunder crashes in the sky. Scene cuts back to Reynaldo in his gondola. | |
Reynaldo | Through darkness, slumbers, toils, solemnly alone. No game of catch, no father, no home. |
Glossaryck | [enters behind Reynaldo] Hey, Reynaldo? |
Reynaldo | Father! |
Glossaryck | Yeah. Can we just go forward in time a bit? Thanks. |
Reynaldo | Thou makest haste like wind, we shall arrive and— |
Glossaryck | Oh, geez, just go. Just go! |
The staircase pops out of the ground again, and Glossaryck and Meteora emerge. | |
Glossaryck | [sighs] Here's a free extra lesson for you – don't have children. [chuckles] Oh, it looks like we're here. |
A group of Septarians is gathered. In the middle, young Rasticore nervously holds out his arm inside the open mouth of another Septarian and closes his eyes. | |
Rasticore | Boss, is this really necessary? |
Young Toffee appears with long hair and a spiked jacket. | |
Toffee | Rasticore, if you're too weak for this, you'll never survive against a Mewman. Do it. |
The Septarian with his mouth open bites off Rasticore's arm. | |
Rasticore | [screams] It's kinda tingly. |
Glossaryck | Great. On to the last part of your lesson. |
Rasticore's arm slowly grows back. | |
Toffee | Now, they may have magic, but we are invincible. |
Glossaryck | (o.s.) Hey, Toffee! |
Toffee | Who said that? [turns around and sees Glossaryck and Meteora] Oh. Hello again. |
Glossaryck | Sorry for interrupting your weird meeting, but I'm trying to teach this little girl a lesson. |
Toffee | What are you trying to teach her? How to get your arm broken? |
Septarians | [laughing] |
Meteora | [baby talk] |
Glossaryck | Yep, that's the bad boy who broke my arm. |
Meteora | [snarls at Toffee] |
Glossaryck | Whoa. Hold your horses. I'm sure Toffee had a good reason for doing what he did. |
Toffee | You were making that stupid leaf hat, so I snapped your arm. |
Glossaryck | Okay. Not the best reason. But that doesn't mean he has to keep doing terrible things. If he did, he'd... break my other arm. |
Toffee | Oh. That's a good idea. [grabs Glossaryck] |
Meteora | [crying, snarling] |
Meteora pounds on Toffee's pant leg, but he shoves her away with his tail. | |
Glossaryck | Maybe that baby isn't the one who needs to be taught a lesson. Maybe we came to teach you. |
Toffee | Well, what are you going to teach me? |
Meteora stands up with her eyes closed. She opens them, and they glow bright green. Toffee looks nervous as Meteora levitates off the ground. | |
Meteora | Deeee... daaaaa! |
Meteora fires ray beams from her eyes that strike Toffee. His eyes turn black, and he releases Glossaryck from his grip. | |
Glossaryck | Okay. That's enough, Meteora. Meteora! |
Meteora | [stops dipping down, giggles, falls to the ground] |
Toffee | [gasps deeply] See?! This is the threat of magic! This is what we're at war against. |
Toffee and his fellow Septarians leave. | |
Glossaryck | I guess you learned two lessons today – how to "dip down," and that jerks like him never learn. |
Meteora | [giggles] |
Scene cuts back to Janna; the screen on her mobile phone reads "YOU DIED". | |
Janna | Not again! Ugh. Now I got to restart from the pickle factory. |
There's a flash of light off-screen, and Meteora is back in her crib. The door opens. | |
Janna | Oh, hey. |
Eclipsa enters with a bunch of feathers in her hair. | |
Eclipsa | How did it go? Any trouble? |
Janna | Yeah, I keep getting stuck on this one jump on level 43. Oh, come on! |
Meteora | Dee-daa! |
Eclipsa | Did she just say "Daddy"? [picks up Meteora] |
Meteora | [giggles] |
Eclipsa | Did you just say "Daddy"? Oh, my darling! Oh, what a genius! |
Glossaryck is sitting on a pillow. He pulls his right arm off and grows a new arm. | |
Glossaryck | You know, I think magic's in pretty good hands. |
(end song) |
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Meteora's Lesson/Transcript
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