Mewberty/Transcript

	(theme song)
	Episode begins at Echo Creek Academy. Oskar sits on his car playing music.
Oskar	[singing] Mom, don't tell me what to do I don't have to listen to you I don't have to follow your rules I'm gonna live in my car at the school, hey, hey! [plays keyboard solo with his tongue]
	The school bell rings as Star watches Oskar dreamily.
Marco Diaz	Star! Time to go. You got some paint or something. [points to the middle of his forehead] Right here.
	Camera cuts to Star's front. Star has a purple heart in the middle of her forehead. She peels the purple heart off.
Star Butterfly	Marco, this is not paint.
Marco	Well, looks like you got another heart.
Star	Quiet, Marco. This is serious! [draws closer to the camera] I think I'm going through... mewberty.
	Numerous purple hearts appear on Star's face. Star pulls her hair over her face.
Marco	Weeellll, oookaaay. Uh, mewberty. [chuckles] That's nothing to be afraid of. We have a similar thing here on Earth.
Star	Don't confuse this with your Earth things, Marco! I'm from Mewni! [whispering] This is gonna get really weird. You gotta keep me away from boys! Wait a second...
	Hearts appear in Star's eyes.
Star	Marco's a booooy...
Marco	[chuckles nervously, backs away] When you say things are going to get weird, do you mean typical-Star weird or, like, destroy-the-school weird?
Star	Destroy-the-school.
Marco	That's what I was worried about. Let's get you home.
	Marco leaves the classroom. Star looks around and slowly follows him.
Star	[whispering] Oh-no-oh-no-oh-no. Okay, here comes a boy. You got this. You got this. Avert your eyes. Avert your eyes. [gasps]
	More hearts appear on Star's face.
Star	Marco, I don't think this is such a good ideaaahhh...
	Star stops at a water fountain to watch Zeke drink. Marco stops walking and turns around. Star presses her finger on the fountain nozzle.
Zeke	Huh?
Star	[in sing-songy whisper] My turn.
Marco	Whoa! Okay, let's go.
	Marco grabs Star's arm. Star suddenly shoots purple web from her hand, which sticks to a locker door.
Star and Marco	[screaming]
	Marco lets go of Star's arm. His hand is now purple. Star tries to unstick herself from the locker. The locker door swings open, and Star falls over and slides halfway into the locker.
Star	...I'm stuck.
Marco	Uh, let me help.
Star	No! [closes the locker, opens it again] Your little boy hands are part of the problem! [closes the locker]
Marco	[wipes his hand on his shirt] Isn't there some way I can help? Maybe there's something in your book of spells that can stop this.
Star	[muffled] Maybe?
Marco	I'll go home and get it.
Star	[muffled] It's not at home! I gave it to Ferguson!
Marco	Why?
Star	[muffled] I lost a bet, okay?! Do you wanna help me or not?!
Marco	[running off-screen] Okay, but we gotta talk about that betting thing later!
	Cut to a Spanish classroom. A Spanish teacher speaks to the students at the chalkboard.)
Spanish teacher	Yo golpeo.
Students	Yo golpeo.
Spanish teacher	Tu golpeas.
Students	Tu golpeas.
Spanish teacher	Usted golpea.
Students	Usted golpea.
	Marco appears outside the class window near Ferguson.
Marco	[whispering] Ferg. Ferg! I need Star's book of spells.
Ferguson	Lo siento, Señor Marco. Solo puedo hablarte en Español.
Marco	[sighs] Where is Star's book?
Ferguson	No, no, no. Se pronuncia "libro." "Libro."
Marco	Where is Star's libro?
Ferguson	Muy bien. Mi dio el libro a Janna.
Marco	[whispering] You gave it to Janna?! Ugh! [walks away]
Ferguson	De nada.
	Cut back to the locker Star is hiding in. A purple heart falls out of the vent and onto a pile of more purple hearts. Inside the locker, Star peels the last purple heart off her face and slips it through the vent.
Star	[sighs] That's better.
	The school bell rings.
Star	[gasps, whispering] Oh, no.
	Students walk through the hallway and pass by Star's locker, chatting indistinctly. More purple hearts appear on Star's face and arms.
Star	No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no—!
	The school bell rings again. Pause.
Star	Huh. That wasn't so bad.
	The swim team assembles outside Star's locker.
Dan	All right, boys, we're gonna do our warm-up out here today. Pool's been compromised. ...Poop. It was poop. ...Somebody pooped in the pool. Okay, let's get to it.
	The swim team starts stretching. Star stares at them through the locker vents.
Star	[shudders]
	More and more purple hearts appear on Star's body. Cut to Janna, Hope, and Leah. Janna is holding a large bag.
Janna	Hey, you guys want to see a dead possum?
Hope	Um, no, thank you.
Leah	Um...
Janna	[laughing] I'm just messin' with ya. Seriously, check this out.
	Janna tears the bag to reveal Star's magic instruction book.
Janna	Ta-da!
Leah	Ooh...
Hope	Awesome! What is it?
Janna	We can do all kinds of witchy stuff with this thang.
Hope	Can we use it to get my parents to stop fighting?
Janna	Totally.
	Marco enters.
Marco	Gimme that!
Hope and Leah	Let's get outta here! [runs away]
Marco	I've been looking all over for this!
Janna	Well, now that you found your little book, let's make some magic with it.
Marco	I don't need your help, Janna! Thank you.
Janna	[scoffs] Whatever. You'll need me soon enough, Marco, 'cause I got your house keys. [runs away]
Marco	Argh. Gotta stay focused. [opens book and flips through pages] Mewberty, mewberty, mewberty... This doesn't make any sense! Isn't there a glossary in this thing?
	The book's pages turn by themselves, and Glossaryck appears.
Glossaryck	Did someone say Glossaryck?
Marco	Wha?
Glossaryck	'Cause that's me. Sir Glossaryck. Of Terms. At your service, milady.
Marco	Uh, I'm not a milady.
Glossaryck	...Could've fooled me. Goodbye.
	Glossaryck closes the book.
Marco	No!
Glossaryck	This book is not for the likes of you! Magical princesses only!
Marco	This isn't for me! I'm trying to find a spell for Star!
Glossaryck	[laughing] Ah, Star Butterfly. What's wrong with her?
Marco	She says she's got mewberty.
Glossaryck	I usually don't make exceptions, but maybe we can work something out. Pudding.
Marco	What?!
Glossaryck	I want pudding.
Marco	Pudding?
Glossaryck	Corrrrrrect. High schools have excellent pudding. [high-pitched] Pudding.
Marco	Ehh... [walks away]
	Cut to elsewhere in the halls. Matt walks through the halls listening to loud music on his headphones and drumming on trash can lids, locker doors, and Sabrina's head. He steps in a pile of Star's purple hearts and opens his locker to look in a mirror. Inside the locker, Star is in a cocoon of hearts with only her face exposed. Her skin is completely purple.
Star	Boy... Booooy...
	Star slowly reaches out and touches Matt's cheek. The purple hearts cover Star's face, and her heart-shaped eyes glow white.Matt looks at Star, and Star retracts her arm into the cocoon. Matt stares blankly at Star before closing the locker door and walking away. The locker suddenly expands outward as the cocoon grows in size and purple vines grow from it. Cut back to Marco; he brings a pudding cup to the magic instruction book.
Marco	All right. Here's your pudding.
	The book opens to reveal Glossaryck.
Glossaryck	Ahhhh...
Marco	What are you doing?
Glossaryck	You've got to feed me, of course. Pudding doesn't eat itself. Ahhh...
	Marco feeds Glossaryck a spoonful of pudding.
Marco	It's... You got it all stuck in your beard.
	Students walk through the halls. Zeke stops in front of Star's locker, where a giant heart-shaped cocoon has formed. He goes up and touches the cocoon. A hand suddenly appears on the inside on the cocoon.
Zeke	Whoa!
	Five more hands appear. Star's silhouette appears inside the cocoon with six arms. The cocoon starts to crack. It bursts open, and Star stretches her insect-like wings. As she hovers in the air, her hair forms into two braids. Zeke is in shock.
Star	Boy...!
	Scene cuts to black as Star descends upon the boy. Cut back to Marco and Glossaryck. Glossaryck's lips and beard are covered in pudding.
Glossaryck	So... [chewing] You said Star is going through... [burps] ...mewberty?
Marco	How do I make it stop?
Glossaryck	[with mouth full] Well, can't stop it.
Marco	That's not an option.
Glossaryck	It'll all be over soon. [slathers pudding on his beard] Star should be back to normal by, uh... [sets his watch] 3:57PM. Or she won't.
Marco	She won't what?
Glossaryck	Be back to normal.
Marco	That's it? Th-There's nothing I can do?
Glossaryck	Ahhh...
Marco	It's empty. You ate it all.
Glossaryck	Scrape the sides!
Marco	[scrapes the sides of the pudding cup and feeds Glossaryck] Now talk.
Glossaryck	Look, kid, nature is like a runaway dump truck – hot, fast, and full of garbage.
Marco	What?
Glossaryck	Nature cannot be stopped. That is all.
Marco	There has to be more you can tell me than that!
Glossaryck	[laughing] Of course there is. But then, you're out of pudding. [closes book on himself]
Boy	(o.s.) Noooo!
Marco	[groans] Thanks for nothing.
	As Marco runs toward the scream, Janna appears behind a wall and looks at the instruction book. Marco enters a vine-filled hallway where students are hiding in fear.
Marco	Whaaaaat?
	He walks past a row of lockers without doors. Zeke, stuck in a purple web, grabs his arm.
Zeke	Hey! You gotta get us out of here!
	Camera pans out to show several boys trapped in purple web.
Timmy	[whimpering, screaming]
	Star appears carrying Timmy.
Marco	Whaaaat theeee...? Star?
	Star tears the door off a locker, throws Timmy inside, and covers the opening with web.
Marco	Star, you gotta get a hold of yourself. You're scaring everyone.
	Star looks at Marco.
Timmy	[whimpering]
	Star sprays Timmy with more web.
Timmy	Aah!
Marco	I said, stop!
	Marco grabs Star's arm.
Timmy	Now she's mad. [whimpers]
	Star starts to cover Marco with web.
Marco	Ow!
	She stops when she hears Oskar playing music. She flies up to see Oskar sitting on his car.
Star	Oskar...
Marco	Oh, no.
	Star flies toward Oskar.
Oskar	[singing] Why don't you clean your room, Mom?
	Star gets ready to cover Oskar in web. Marco catches Star with a tennis net.
Oskar	[singing] I don't like your boyfriend, Mom
	As Star flails around trying to free herself of the net, she flies into a tree, and several boys fall out and run away screaming.
Marco	Whew.
	Star flies out of the tree and drags Marco along.
Marco	Whoa! [screaming]
	Star drags Marco through the sky and across the school. They pass by Janna, who is feeding pudding to Glossaryck.
Glossaryck	You're making things worse!
	Marco looks at the web-trapped boys and Star. He finally lets go of the net and falls over. Star flies over and carries Oskar and his car up into the sky. His music fades into the distance. Marco looks up at the sky on his knees.
Marco	[sighs] Goodbye, Star.
	Glossaryck's watch beeps. It reads "3:57:00PM". Marco's eyes start to water. A purple heart lands on his nose. More purple hearts rain from the sky. Oskar's car crashes right next to Marco.
Marco	Whaaah!
	Oskar lands on his car. His keytar lands in his lap.
Oskar	What's up?
	Star crashes on the what's left of her cocoon.
Marco	Star!
	Star emerges, back to normal.
Star	Ohhh...
Marco	You came back!
	Marco hugs Star. Star smiles and returns the hug. There's a light buzzing behind Star.
Star and Marco	Aah!
Marco	What was that?
	Star turns around and moves her hair aside. She has two small butterfly wings.
Star	[squeals] Look, Marco! I got my mewberty wings! [ties her hair in a ponytail]
Marco	Does that mean you can fly?
Star	[grabs Marco's arm] Let's test it out!
	Star jumps into the air with Marco.
Star	Ahhh...
Marco	Whee-hee-hee!
	Star and Marco fall to the ground.
Star	Nope.