(theme song)
Episode begins at Diaz household's yard, Buff Frog is spying on Star. A floating eye suddenly appears, and interrupts Buff Frog's labor. The scene changes into the insides of Marco's house, where Star sitting in the couch and holding a sword, trying to get the attention from a crowd of people.
Star Butterfly Okey, quiet everyone, QUIET! Quiet. I assume you all brought your swords...
The "Crowd" is shown: Sensei Brantley, Miss Skullnick, StarFan13, Marco, Alfonzo, Ferguson, Janna, Ed and Francis.
Marco Diaz Uh... Wha?
Star [Drops the heavy sword] It's said on the invitation: You're supposed to bring a sword...
Alfonzo [Shows the card] I was little confused by your invitation.
Miss Skullnick grabs the invitation card.
Miss Skullnick I am not confused, this is clearly a drawing of meat, I came for the meat...
Marco I think everyone is just wondering why they're here.
Star Ahh, It's the 37th of Gravnogk? Mewnipendence Day?
People still don't seem to understand, so Star becomes stressed and goes to search for a explanatory book, and then proceeds to explain the event to the people.
Star A long time ago, arrived the first settlers of Mewni... [Moves a tiny explanatory boat while making boat noises] Modest people with noble pursuits: Life, Liberty and Corn... [Unfolds the page while explaining] But the wicked monsters rose up and attacked the innocent Mewmans to re-steal Mewni for themselves. [Finishes unfolding that page, and then passes to the next one, where a Queen and some peasants can be seen] So the Queen used her magic to turn the simple peasants into a fearsome army! [The effects of the magic are seen while Star unfolds the page] And there there was fighting..., fighting, fighting, fighting,, fighting, fighting... [Star passes trough the "Fighting" pages quickly, without explaining them] and the Mewmans won! [Star stops at the presumably last page, that one shows the present day Star's Family Palace and its tiny surroundings] Tadaah! [Star unfolds tiny celebration fireworks while making firework noises]
Marco But wait... You just blew past all the important stuff! [Refering to the war pages]
Miss Skullnick When do we eat?
Star [Talking to Skullnick] We feast after we reenact "THE GREAT MONSTER MASSACRE". Now please split into two teams: Monsters and Mewmans.
Miss Skullnick Can I be a Mewman?-
Star [Interrupting Skullnick] You are already a Monster: That's why you were invited.
Skullnick goes grumbling to the "Monsters" team, the rest of the people get to choose their teams, except for Marco who is stopped by Star
Star [Talking to Marco] You get to be my General...
Marco Thanks.
The teams are shown: Janna, The Sensei, StarFan13 and Francis are Mewmans while Alfonzo, Ed, Miss Skullnick and Ferguson are monsters.
Star Lookin' pretty good. [Prepares the Wand] Now we can begin making costumes and after that: "THE BLOODY BATTLE CAN COMMENCE"
Marco raises his hand
Marco What's that? [Points at the floating eye seen at the beginning of the episode]
Star [Relaxed] Oh, that's The All-seeing Eye: It follows you around all day.
Marco It's staring at me...
The eye focuses on Marco.
Star [Still relaxed] Don't worry, it's just to remind the monsters that the Royal Family is always watching... It's not actually watching you though [Laughs] that would be weird. [Plays with the eye's screen]
The scene goes trough the screen of the eye, where Ludo is watching Star.
Ludo This is amazing! [Talks to Toffee, who is reading a book about Mewni] She thinks it's The All-seeing Eye but it's not.
Toffee [Agrees] It's the most efficient way to spy on your enemies.
Ludo [Laughs] I can see her pores! What secrets lie beneath?
Buff Frog joins the scene and salutes Ludo, who interrupts him.
Buff Frog Ludo. Master. [He does his kissing salute]
Ludo Yeah, yeah, yeah. [Mimics Buff Frog's kissing salute] Bleugh! Look at this! Now we can watch Star wherever she goes: In the kitchen, bedroom, even in the bathroom!
Toffee and Buff Frog discourage Ludo from the last idea.
Ludo Maybe we don't keep the bathroom channel...
Buff Frog [Approaches Ludo] But Ludo, this eye only has one eye and my face has two: That's twice the number of the eyes!
Ludo Now that you don't have any spying work to do you should get us some popcorn and milkshakes. I'm pretty sure we're gonna bench-watch this video all night. You can join us if you want, as long as you keep quiet and sit on the back.
Buff Frog walks away.
Ludo [Laughs] She doesn't even know we're watching her!
Toffee Sometimes you biggest threat is right under your nose.
Ludo My nose is in my beak!
Toffee agrees, condescendingly.
Back to Marco's house, some trees have grown to represent Mewni's wildlife. The "Monsters" team has "Monster" costumes: Alfonzo is dressed as Lobster Claws and Ferguson is dressed as Buff Frog, while Miss Skullnick and Ed are dressed as other monsters.
Star [At the time Star, who wears a Queen costume, is finishing Fergunson's costume] There, that will keep your "Entrails" from becoming your "Out trails!"
Star accidentaly punctures Fergunson's pillow costume with her sword.
Ferguson My pillow...
A Giant Armored Knight, who turns out to be Marco, approaches to Star.
Marco Hey, Star: I've been looking trough your... Hold on. [Lifts the costume vizard to talk better] I've been looking through your book and something seems... Off.
Star What do you mean? Let me see! [Jumps trying to reach the book, but Marco's suit is just too tall, so he drops the book and Star grabs it. At the same time some of the rest of the "Mewmans" team costumes can be seen: Big, Heavily Armored, Professional Knight Suits with Magic Giant Weapons]
Star unfolds a "Battle" page and the same scene repeats: Fierce but relatively tiny monsters fight the several stories tall Mewman knights, who also possess a lot bigger weapons.
Star Hmm [Checks the teams around her] Okay... Wow. You're right, Marco... I can't believe I haven't noticed that before...
Star [Against all odds, she proceeds to give the Knights even bigger and fancier weapons] Sharper, Sharper [Turning the Swords bigger], Stabbier [Turning the Banner bigger], and you need to be on a unicorn [Summons a giant horse for Francis, who is already wearing a giant armor]
Star And now for the monsters...
Star makes the tiny monster weapons disappear.
Ferguson Hey, what do we get?
Star Hello? You are monsters: Use your claws [Makes monster sounds while simulating monster claws]
Marco tries to grab the book again, but the heavy costume makes it difficult.
Marco Star, I know the monsters are bad but this seems... Unfair.
Star Unfair?
Suddenly, a giant mace that is wielded by StarFan13 falls over Ferguson.
StarFan13 I'm so sorry, Ferguson...
Ferguson screams from under the mace.
Alfonzo Do something, he is writhing in pain!
Ferguson stops screaming.
Alfonzo Oh, nevermind: He stopped.
Marco [While walking away] Mooom...
The scene changes back into the insides of Ludo's castle, where Buff Frog is standing on the hall and trying to get the attention from a crowd of monsters.
Buff Frog Comrades: it's beginning! Toffee replaced me with electronic eye! [Shows the eye to the monsters]
Bearicorn Ah, we don't care...
Buff Frog But you should! Toffee soon will replace you! [Points at Bearicorn] with electronic ice-cream cone. And you! [Points at the Frill Neck Monster] with another electronic ice-cream cone. And you with... [Points at the Two Headed Monster] What is that you do exactly?
Two Headed Monster Well, there's two of us, so.. Maybe that's a thing?
Toffee approaches Buff Frog.
Toffee [Talking to Buff Frog] Are you finished? [Talks to the mob] Gentlemen! Allow me to direct your attention to our new surveillance device. [Points at the giant screen with Marco's garden scene] Princess Butterfly is re-enacting our favorite holiday: The great monster massacre.
The monsters don't seem to like the holiday.
Bearicorn That is my least favorite holiday.
Toffee Don't worry. We can take advantage of this opportunity [Takes out something that looks like a mace, but is a lot more than that]. Why send an army after the wand when it can be hand-delivered? [Takes the TV remote controller from Ludo's hands normally, and then gives it back to him through the Wireless Mace]
Ludo Oh, isn't that a thing thing?
Toffee And it's not like she is going to notice a real monster...
Ludo [Laughs] Those aren't real?
Toffee, stressed by Ludo's stupidity, just agrees condescendingly again.
Toffee Okay... Now, who would want to bring Ludo his wand?
All the monsters step back, except for Buff Frog.
Buff Frog I will go.
Toffee I thought you might, [Whispering] You fat bag of garbage.
Toffee hands over the Mace to Buff Frog, and he walks away to his mission.
Back to Marco's house, the battle is about to begin, and StarFan almost smashes Ferguson again
StarFan13 I'm so sorry, Ferguson...
Ferguson Come on! [Kicks the giant mace]
In her balcony, Star keeps pondering about the fairness of the match.
Marco Hey, Star, everything is set up. We'll start whenever you give the signal. Or not, and we can just go eat.
Star [Worried] No... It's okay... It'll... It'll be fun.
Marco Okay. [Goes back to his suit] Here we go!
Star [Representing the Queen] Knights of Mewni! Take off your stabby weapons and drive off the evil monsters! [Rises up to the sky and launches the signal spell, which is a giant purple skull]
Both teams charge against each other, with the expected results.
Ferguson I can't do this! [Hides inside of a tree] Make me invisible!
Immediately after the Fake Ferguson Buff Frog hides, the real Buff Frog appears from a Portal and focuses on Star's Wand, but StarFan and her mace almost crush him
StarFan13 I'm so sorry, Ferguson...
Buff Frog Come on! [Kicks the giant mace and then continues on, while the monsters watch him from the control room]
Ludo Careful! [Watches Buff Frog while drinking a milkshake] What a massacre...
Toffee watches from his chair, stressed for the mission, while Star watches the same scene from her balcony, stressed for the battle.
When Alfonzo tries to run away, the giant unicorn grabs him and launches him far away, to contribute with Star's distrust about the re-enactment.
While Star watches, Buff Frog climbs trough her balcony, while Ludo's Army watches him with interest.
Buff Frog takes out the Mace, but it doesn't work.
Buff Frog Wha?
Ludo [Stops slurping his milkshake] Whaaa??
Buff Frog panics as he keeps pressing the button without any success. And he loses time.
Ludo [Irritated] Come on, Come on, Come on!
Buff Frog, now very horrified, tosses away the Mace and decides to just take the Wand with his bare hands.
Ludo What is he doing?
Buff Frog was just about to get his hand on the wand, but Star suddenly notices him.
Star [Noticing Buff Frog] Ferguson?
Suddenly the Unicorn comes and attacks Buff Frog, making him fly away a long distance, Star horrifies at the situation because she thinks that a Human is being attacked
Star Ferguson! [flies to "Ferguson"'s side] I am so sorry! Marco was right, this is unfair! Ferguson, are you okay?
Ferguson [Hidden inside the tree] I'm fine. I'm just... invisible...
Star realizes her error and Buff Frog wakes up and pushes Star aside in shock. While Buff Frog runs away, Star considers blasting him with her wand, but she soon changes her mind and lets Buff Frog escape.
Marco Alright, let's go eat some corn.
All the people go back to Marco's house, except for Star, who is still perplexed about the experience.
Back to Ludo's Castle, all the monsters are watching the footage of Buff Frog's fail over and over again.
Ludo [Angry] What a disgrace! This is what you get when you hire people from the swamp! Let's watch again... [The scene repeats multiple times with Ludo rewinding the scene, then playing it in slow motion, rewinding then slow motion again]
Buff Frog [Embarrassed] I'm telling you! This thing! [Pointing at the Mace] It didn't work!
Toffee takes the Mace and makes it work.
Toffee It works fine for me...
Buff Frog [Pointing at Toffee] He sabotaged it!
Ludo I rescued you from a life in the swamp, I took you in, I gave you pants, and this is what you do to repay...Wait a minute... [Realizes that Buff Frog is not wearing pants] Where are your pants?!
Buff Frog Uh, well...uh...---
Ludo Oh, get real! You brought shame on this house! Now go to your room.
Buff Frog goes to his room, sad.
Ludo [Upset] I don't know what to do about that! Maybe I should take away his milkshake privileges?..
Toffee Seriously? This was idiot-proof, I think you know what you have to do.
Ludo knows, and he gets worried about having to do it.
Buff Frog [While being evicted out of the castle] No! Wait! Nooooo!
Ludo [While watching the scene with Toffee trough a window] Well, that was pretty hardcore...
Toffee You did what had to be done.
Back to Marco's House, the re-enactors are dinning different kinds of corn and chatting together.
Marco [Approaches Star] Are you sure this is accurate?
Star [Takes the book] You know what? I think it's time we put the book away..
Star hands the book over to Marco and he puts it away. While Star is proceeding to eat some buttered corn, she notices the retrenched Buff Frog squatting on a nearby tree sadly through the window. Buff Frog hears Star placing her plate of corn on the windowsill as her apology and she is seen leaving. He smiles.
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