(theme song)
Episode begins at the Diaz Household. In Marco's bedroom, Marco positions his hand over a plank of wood.
Marco Diaz [breathes deeply]
Star Butterfly [skipping by] La, la-la, la-la, la-laaa. Huh?
Marco Hiii-yah!
Marco chops the wood in half.
Star Whoa. You hate wood, too? Yeah, crush that wood! Wood's the worst! [grunts]
Marco No, I'm practicing for my upcoming Tang Soo Do tournament.
Star Oh.
Marco You see, Star, martial arts is all about honor and discipline. Which is why... I'm going to kick Jeremy Birnbaum's butt!
Star Jeremy Birnbaum? Isn’t that the talking bear that used to rummage through my parents' garbage?
Marco He's just this creep in my dojo who's only any good because his rich parents buy him fancy equipment and private lessons. But Saturday, he's gonna get a taste of this!
Marco stacks three planks of wood.
Marco Hiiiiii-YAH!
Smash cut to black.
Marco [screams in pain]
Fade in on Marco's broken arm in a cast. The cast reads "Get well s♡♡n! Star!" and has several drawings on it.
Marco [groans] This is a nightmare! If I can't fight Jeremy, he'll say I wussed out, and he'll never let me live it down!
Star uses her magic wand to switch hairstyles.
Star Pigtails? Ponytail? Pigtails? Ponytail? Pigtails?
Marco Wait a minute. You have a wand! You could just fix my hand!
Star's last hairstyle is a hodgepodge of pigtails and ponytails.
Star You know... That sort of spell is not really in my comfort zone. Oh, but if you like, I can give you a pretty wicked set of pigtails.
Star gives her pigtails again.
Marco Pigtails? [groans]
Star [gasps] Unless... I could look up a bone-healing spell in the magic instruction book that came with the wand.
Star pulls a giant book out from under her bed.
Marco What?! This whole time you had a magic instruction book?
Star Yep. Whenever the previous owner of the wand mastered a spell, they scribbled it down in here.
Star opens the book, creating a cloud of dust.
Star [coughing] But it's a complete disorganized mess. It's gonna take me foreeeever to find—Oh! Here it is.
Marco Really?
Star Hmm. It's in an ancient language. Releasio Demonius Infestica!
Star shoots a beam of magic that coils around Marco's cast.
Marco Ahh... ahhh...! I can feel it working! My fingers are tingling!
Marco's arm is turned into a long, blue tentacle. It leaves a slime trail on the floor.
Marco [screams]
Star [gasps] Don't worry! There must be a spell in here that can change it back!
Star flips through the book's pages. Glossaryck briefly appears between two of the pages.
Star I can fix it!
Marco [whimpering]
Marco's monster arm slithers about on its own, knocking the book through Star's window. Scene transitions from night to morning. Marco wakes up in bed.
Marco [yawns]
The monster arm smacks his face, leaving slime all over him.
Marco [groans]
In the shower, Marco washes himself with soap. The monster arm slaps the soap out of his hand, smacks his face...
Marco Ow!
...and turns the shower handle to "Hot". Steam fills the bathroom.
Marco [high-pitched screaming]
At the breakfast table, Marco's body is burned red. The monster arm slaps the toast out of his hand before he can eat it and knocks over everything on the table. Star enters and sits down.
Star [yawns] Morning, Marco. Morning, monster arm. I was up all night, but I haven't found a way to reverse the spell.
The monster arm grabs Star's orange juice, pours it on Marco's head, and throws the empty glass away. Cut to Echo Creek Academy – cafeteria. As Marco and Star walk with lunch trays, Marco keeps his tray out of the monster arm's reach.
Lars Vanderdud (o.s.) Hey, kid. I got a joke for you.
Lars harasses Francis as students watch.
Lars What's the most important meal of the day?
Francis Smithington Huh?
Lars slaps Francis Smithington lunch tray out of his hands.
Lars It's breakfast! [laughing]
Francis [laughing nervously] That's a good one, Lars.
Francis leans down to pick up his tray, and Lars shoves his face in pink frosting.
Lars [laughing]
Marco's monster arm punches Lars across the face.
Students [gasps]
Lars Who did that?!
Marco [pointing to monster arm] Uh...
Lars No one hits La—!
The monster arm slaps Lars nine times. He runs away crying. The monster arm picks Francis up and cleans his face.
Francis I, sir, am in your debt.
Ferguson pops in and knocks Francis aside.
Ferguson You're a hero!
Students [cheering]
Jackie Lynn Thomas Can I check out that arm?
Marco Uhhh... sure.
Janna Ordonia I want it to be my boyfriend!
Hope Hadley Me too!
Jackie High five!
Marco smiles.
Francis [breathing heavily]
Cut to Diaz Household at nighttime.
Star (v.o.) A-ha! I found it!
In Star's bedroom, Star looks through her magic instruction book while Marco plays with his monster arm on Star's bed.
Star A reverse tentacle spell! I think.
Marco Uh, maybe you should practice on something first.
Star Way ahead of you.
Star takes out a potted plant.
Star Returnio Armius Normalritecus!
Star's spell burns the plant to a crisp.
Star [shuddering]
Marco Uh, I'm going to bed now. [leaves room]
Star Don't worry! I'll get it!
Star takes out another potted plant.
Star Returnius Armius Normalrinny!
Star's spell makes the second plant explode.
Star Ugh...
Scene transitions from night to morning. Star's failed attempts include a stump with eyes, a green foot, a multi-layered hand, a foot with six toes, a large rock arm, flowers with toes, and ballooned hands.
Star [exhausted] Returnio... Armius... Normalrino...
Star's spell makes a normal human hand.
Star [gasps]
The hand gives a thumbs-up.
Star Marco!
Star runs out of the room, then comes back to retrieve the hand. Marco does push-ups in his room with the monster arm.
Marco 673... 674... 675...
Star I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it, I DID IT!
Marco Hey, I think this monster arm might actually help me take out Jeremy. Hiiii-YAH!
Marco breaks nine stacked pieces of wood with the monster arm.
Marco [breathing heavily]
Star Wait. You're gonna fight with that? That sounds kind of unfair.
Marco [slowly approaching Star] Ohhhh, funny how you never have a problem using your magic when it benefits you, but as soon as it gives me an advantage, you want to take it away!
Star [looking scared] Marco, I think that arm's a bad influence on you.
Marco And I think you should go.
Marco pushes Star out of the room.
Star What? Fine! But I don't—!
Marco slams the door in Star's face.
Marco Huh! Man, what does she know?
The monster arm comes alive and sprouts a mouth.
Monster Arm Don't listen to her. She's just jealous.
Marco Wha...?! You can talk?!
Monster Arm You don't need her anymore. I can give you everything you ever dreamed of.
Marco Really?
Monster Arm First, we're gonna destroy that little punk Jeremy.
Marco Yeah...
Monster Arm Then we're gonna get Jackie Lynn Thomas to like you.
Marco Yeah!
Monster Arm And then we're gonna slaughter all humans and feast on their bowels!
Marco YEAH!!! Wait, what?
Monster Arm I mean, uh, w-win the tournament!
Marco Yeah!
Cut to dojo interior. A small crowd sits in the seats.
Star [o.s., exhausted] Excuse me.
Man (o.s.) Ooh! Watch it!
Star [o.s., exhausted] Sorry.
Girl (o.s.) Hey! Ow!
Star moves through the crowd's top row and sits next to Alfonzo and Ferguson.
Star [exhausted] Sorry. Sorry. ...Sorry.
Alfonzo Dolittle Are you okay, Star?
Ferguson O'durguson You look terrible, and I have very low standards.
Star [yawning] I've been up for two nights trying to fix his monster arm, then he gets mad, and then I got to come here and watch him karate, you know?
Sensei Brantley Allow me to introduce our first competitor, Jeremy Birnbaum!
On one side of the dojo, a seemingly tall man in a blue cloak sips water served to him by one butler while another butler massages his shoulders.
Jeremy Hiii-yah!
He pushes the butlers away and throws off the cloak, revealing a little boy standing on a footstool.
Star That's Jeremy?!
Ferguson (o.s) That kid can't be any more than eight years old!
Jeremy [laughing]
Cut to Jeremy's parents in the crowd. His father holds up a sign that reads "WE ♡ JEREMY".
Mrs. Birnbaum We love you, son!
Jeremy Shut it, Mom!
Sensei And his opponent, Marco Diaz.
Camera dramatically zooms in on Marco on the other side of the dojo. His body is half obscured by shadow.
Audience [gasps]
Mr. Birnbaum Now that's an appendage.
Jeremy Hey, wait! He's got a monster arm! That's not fair!
Sensei Yeah! Pretty cool, right?
Marco's monster arm lashes around Jeremy's neck and tosses him around the dojo.
Jeremy [grunting and screaming]
Audience [gasps]
Sensei Hey-oh!
Jeremy knocks into a trophy shelf and through the ceiling.
Jeremy Whoa!
Jeremy lands on the floor covered in bruises.
Jeremy [groans]
Sensei Point, Diaz.
Marco Where are your private lessons now, Jeremy? Huh?
The monster arm picks up Jeremy's body.
Monster Arm [laughing] He's beaten. Now finish him!
Marco What?
Monster Arm This is what you've always wanted. Destroy him! Eat his bowels!
Jeremy Not my bowels! I love my bowels!
Marco Hey, listen, I just wanted to win the tournament so he wouldn't make fun of me!
Monster Arm If you're too weak to finish him, I'll do it myself!
The monster arm tears Jeremy's shirt, revealing his stomach.
Jeremy [screams]
Marco Star was right about you...! You are a bad influence!
Monster Arm And you are pathetic.
The monster arm throws Jeremy into a punching bag. The punching bag swings backward and hits Jeremy's face.
Sensei Point, Diaz.
Monster Arm [roaring]
The monster arm attacks Marco, attempting to devour him.
Marco Star?! You can change it back now!
Alfonzo and Ferguson Star! [gasps]
Star sleeps with her head on a man's shoulder. Ferguson tries to shake her awake.
Ferguson Star, you gotta wake up!
Marco Star!
The monster arm repeatedly hits Marco against the ceiling.
Ferguson Staaaaar!!!
The monster arm uses Marco's arm to slap his own face.
Monster Arm Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.
Ferguson Hey! Wake! Up!
Alfonzo Here, try this.
Alfonzo hands Ferguson a beverage.
Ferguson Oh, thank you so much. [slurps]
Alfonzo No! On Star!
Ferguson Oh, right.
Ferguson splashes Star with water, and she wakes up spitting out the water.
Marco Star!
The monster arm coils around Marco's neck, choking him.
Star [gasps] Returnio Armius Normalrino!
Star blasts the monster arm with magic. The monster arm dodges, and the beam turns a punching bag into an arm.
Star Returnio Armius Normalrino!
The monster arm dodges again, and Star's magic turns a dumbbell into an arm. A third blast turns a towel into an arm. A fourth blast creates a pair of arms next to Sensei that pound together. Sensei bows to the arms in return.
Sensei Hai.
The monster arm keeps dodging Star's magic, making arms all over the dojo.
Alfonzo Whoa!
The monster arm hangs from the ceiling and swings gently back and forth.
Monster Arm [laughing] I could do this all day.
Star Ugh! He's too wiggly!
Marco looks down and sees all the arms Star made with her magic. He pushes himself and the monster arm off the ceiling, and the arms catch them as they fall. The arms hold the monster arm.
Monster Arm [groaning]
Marco Now!
Star Returnio Armius Normalrinooooo!
Star's magic finally hits the monster arm, and it begins to shrink back to normal.
Monster Arm You'll never get rid of me! I'm part of you now! [slowly fading and getting high-pitched] You can treat the symptoms, but you'll never cure the viruuuus...!
Marco's arm returns to normal.
Marco [groans]
Star Marco, are you okay?
Marco [looks at his arm, gasps] My arm! My beautiful arm. It's back to normal.
Marco's fingers suddenly crack and snap out of place.
Marco [groans] And totally broken.
Jeremy Broken arm? Hah! Well, it looks like I win.
A set of golden brass knuckles falls out of one of Jeremy's gloves and clangs on the floor. One of the animated arms picks it up and holds it in front of Sensei's face.
Sensei Brass knuckles? Seriously?
Jeremy Pfft! Brass? They're gold.
Sensei You boys have brought shame and dishonor to this great and noble sport. 'Tis a sad day for strip mall dojos everywhere.
Jeremy briefly looks at Marco before angrily kicking over some arms and walking away.
Mrs. Birnbaum [clapping] Oh-ho, bravo, son! Bravo!
Jeremy [growls] I wish I could fight you, Mom.
Mrs. Birnbaum [whimpers]
Ferguson What a turd.
Marco [sighs] Sorry. I should've listened to you, Star.
Star I know.
Marco Hey, uh, when the monster arm said he'd be back, that's nothing to worry about, right?
Star Uhhh... probably not?
Close-up on Marco's extremely worried face. Camera pans down to his broken arm. Cut to black.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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