Moon the Undaunted/Transcript

	Episode begins on Mewni, outside Butterfly Castle. An army of monsters is amassing weapons and building catapults for an invasion. Inside the castle, young Moon Butterfly, wearing a black robe, sits in her bedroom holding a picture of herself as a child and her mother Comet Butterfly. Behind her, Count Mildrew appears in her doorway.
Mildrew	Hey. I'm sorry, am I bothering you?
Moon	No, Count Mildrew. I'm just—
Mildrew	Mourning the loss of your mother? I understand.
Moon	It's been a hard week, but I'm—
Mildrew	[suddenly hugs Moon] There's no need to be strong. Deal with your feelings. We will handle everything else.
Royal aide	Uh, Princess? Uh, uh, I mean, Queen Moon? There's a... a situation in the... in the situation room.
	Cut to the castle's "situation room", where Mina Loveberry interrogates Archduke Batwin in chains.
Archduke Batwin	I swear it wasn't my orders!
	Mina whips Batwin with her pigtails.
Mina	You shut up during your confession!
Moon	[enters] Mina?
	Moon approaches a meeting room table where Mildrew, Sir Scarsguard, Lekmet, Rhombulus, Omnitraxus Prime, and Hekapoo are sitting.
Moon	What is going on?
	Mildrew pulls a chair out for Moon, but Moon pushes the chair back and then pulls it out herself before sitting down.
Moon	What is going on?
Mina	According to this dingus here, one of his mooks lammed off with half an army, and they're the ones who put your mama in a wooden nightgown! You know, they, uh... T-They put her on ice. Uh, drapes down in funtown.
Moon	Thank you, Mina.
Mina	Uh, sorry about your mama.
Batwin	The queen and I were about to sign a peace treaty when one of my generals went rogue.
Mina	Rogue wha-who?
Batwin	He's known as... th-the "Lizard".
Rhombulus' right snake hand	[stifling laugh] Sorry. I mean... the "Lizard".
Left snake hand	Dude, don't laugh.
Rhombulus	[whispering] Shut it, both of you!
Mina	Put this guy in the caboose, and let's croak those toads!
Rhombulus	I think we should go to war.
Mildrew	Now is not the time!
Omnitraxus Prime	And her magic isn't strong enough for war yet.
Hekapoo	Especially against the lizards. They're indestructible.
Mina	We need to go to war!
Hekapoo	We need to sign the peace treaty!
Rhombulus	Yelling feels really good right now!
	Everyone in the room starts yelling over each other while Moon looks exhausted.
River Johansen	Maybe w-we should let Moon decide. She is the queen.
	Moon smiles at River.
Mildrew	She just lost her mother, River. She needs time with her feelings.
	Everyone starts yelling at River, and he sinks into his collared shirt while blushing.
Moon	I am the queen now, so I will make the decision. My decision... is that I will make a decision at dawn.
	Everyone stares at Moon. Cut to Moon walking through the castle corridor.
Moon	Ugh. Why did I say "decision" so many times?
River	[catches up with Moon] Queen Moon! I'm sorry I spoke out of place. I-I got you something.
	River gives Moon a leg of meat with the word "SORRY" carved in it.
Moon	Uh, what is this?
River	It's an apology meat. It's how we Johansens apologize.
Moon	[takes River's apology meat] It was a relief to know someone believed in me. Thank you.
River	[blushes, backs away shooting finger guns] Hey! Anytime, pal! [turns around and walks away] Did I just call the queen "pal"?
	Moon returns to her bedroom and curls up in a ball on the floor.
Moon	Ugh! Oh, apology meat, what am I going to do?
	Moon hears muffled crying coming from the Book of Spells. She opens it and finds Glossaryck crying.
Glossaryck	[crying]
Moon	Oh, Glossy, are you okay?
Glossaryck	No! Your mama's gone! [sobbing]
Moon	I know.
Glossaryck	And she's never coming back! [sobbing]
Moon	No, she isn't.
Glossaryck	And I really liked her, too.
Moon	I know you're upset. So am I. But right now, I really need your help. Things are bad. I-I have to decide between signing a peace treaty or waging a war.
Glossaryck	Oh, yeah... [sniffles] That. I don't know. Just pick one. Sure it'll work out.
Moon	That's not helpful at all.
Glossaryck	Yeah, you're probably right. I'm in no condition to give advice. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go cry in your mama's chapter. [sobbing]
	Glossaryck turns the pages of the book to the skull lock on Eclipsa Butterfly's chapter. Cut to the Crystal Dimension, where Moon and Rhombulus approach Eclipsa's crystal cage.
Rhombulus	Eclipsa's been crystallized for hundreds of years. I've got no idea what's gonna happen when we open this up.
Moon	I can handle it.
	Rhombulus unfreezes Eclipsa's upper body.
Rhombulus	Hoo. Okay, I'm out. Uh, call if you need me! [runs away]
	Moon points her wand at Eclipsa in defense.
Eclipsa	[deep gasp, gasping breaths] Ugh! [collapses]
Moon	Oh, my gosh, I killed her!
Eclipsa	[whispering] B... 4...
Moon	What?
Eclipsa	[shuddering] B... 4...
Moon	"Before"? Before what?
Eclipsa	[moves her eyes] B... 4...
	Moon looks behind her and sees a vending machine of snacks.
Moon	Oh, wait. You want the candy?
Eclipsa	B4! B4, B4, B4!
Moon	O...kay?
	Moon puts a coin in the vending machine and presses B4. The machine vends a "Snookers" candy bar. Moon feeds the candy bar to Eclipsa.
Eclipsa	[chomp, noisy chewing] Ahhhh... [straining]
	Eclipsa pulls her right arm of her frozen glove, revealing a black forearm. She grabs the rest of the candy bar out of Moon's hand.
Moon	Aah!
Eclipsa	[eating noisily] Mmm-mmmm! How long have I been here?
Moon	Uh, like, three hundred years?
Eclipsa	[coughs] Three hundred years?! [pauses, continues munching] So, you're the new queen?
Moon	Yes, what of it?
Eclipsa	Well, it's just you're far too young to be queen, unless... Oh, no. Unless your mother – is she...?
Moon	[sniffles, nods]
Eclipsa	I see. I lost my mother, too, when I was not much older than you.
Moon	Ever since Mom... Um, since I became queen, everybody's been looking to me to end the war and make all these big decisions, but I'm just a kid! I can't decide the fate of Mewni! [grabbing her hair] I can't even decide which boy I like!
Eclipsa	I know how you feel.
Moon	But that's not why I'm here. I need you to teach me one of the spells from your... forbidden chapter.
Eclipsa	"Forbidden"? Is that what they're calling my chapter?
Moon	Yeah, sorry. I didn't name it. But the point is I need a spell that can destroy something that's immortal.
Eclipsa	Are you sure that's what you want?
Moon	It's my only hope.
Eclipsa	Well, the spell you seek requires a magical contract. I can give it to you. But once your enemy is killed, you must give me something in return.
Moon	Okay, what do you want?
Eclipsa	My freedom.
Moon	What?!
Eclipsa	Oh, I know. It's a lot to ask. But... I've just been here so long, all by myself. I want to buy my own chocolate. Or those little shrink-wrapped muffins at the bottom. Mmm!
Moon	But these are Rhombulus' crystals. I can't free you.
Eclipsa	A contract between two queens is stronger than any crystal. Now, do you want to learn the spell?
	Eclipsa extends a hand to Moon. Moon takes Eclipsa's hand, and a magic black ribbon wraps around their hands. Both of their cheek marks start glowing. After a few moments, the ribbon vanishes, and their cheek marks stop glowing.
Eclipsa	Come close. Now... [whispers in Moon's ear] ...and aim it directly at his heart.
	Rhombulus freezes Eclipsa again.
Moon	What was that for?
Rhombulus	I'm just doing my job, your Majesty. Evil queen, gotta freeze it.
Moon	She didn't seem so evil.
	Cut back to the castle situation room.
Royal guard babysitter	The queen is late.
River	[points outside the window] Look!
	Moon rides on Lil Chauncey's back toward the monster army outside the castle.
Mildrew	She's gone mad with grief! She was so young! [sobbing]
River	She's not dead yet, you fool!
	The monsters see Moon approaching. Moon stops before the monsters and lays down a blanket. She takes out eating utensils, a goblet, and River's apology meat and starts to eat.
Rasticore	Uh, can we help you?
Moon	I wish to speak to the general.
Lizard monster	The general?!
Monsters	[laughing]
Toffee	(o.s.) Silence!
	Toffee emerges from behind a wall of skulls and approaches Moon.
Toffee	[bowing] Hello, Princess.
Moon	I presume you're the one they call the "Lizard".
Toffee	Yes, but you may call me... Toffee.
Moon	Toffee? How is that any better?
Toffee	What do you want?
Moon	I want you and your army to leave immediately or face the consequences.
Rasticore	Your mom couldn't defeat us, and neither can you!
Moon	I was hoping you'd say that. [points her magic wand at Toffee]
Lizard monster 1	We're not afraid of your little girl magic!
Rasticore	We're invincible! Just watch!
	Rasticore holds out his left arm, and the first lizard monster opens his jaws around it.
Moon	No, wait! I already know about the—!
	The lizard monster bites off Rasticore's arm off-screen.
Moon	Ugh!
Rasticore	[grunting]
	Rasticore grows a new left arm.
Monsters	[cheering]
Moon	[closes her eyes] I call the darkness unto me from deepest depths of Earth and sea.
	In the Crystal Dimension, Eclipsa's cheek marks start glowing.
Moon	From ancient evils unawoken, break the one that can't be broken.
	Purple storm clouds start gathering over Moon and the monsters.
Moon	To blackest night, I pledge my soul and crush my heart to burning coal.
	The top of Moon's magic wand becomes stained with black, and black veins appear along her arms.
Moon	To summon forth a deathly power, to see my hated foe devoured! [sees dark veins on her arms] Aah!
Toffee	Enough of this.
	Toffee reaches out to grab Moon, but she fires an energy blast that severs his right hand's middle finger and knocks him over. In the Crystal Dimension, Eclipsa's cheek marks stop glowing. Toffee's severed finger disappears.
Toffee	Have you learned nothing?
	Toffee tries to regrow his severed finger, but the regenerating finger crumbles to black dust.
Monsters	[gasp]
One-horned monster	It's not growing back!
	The monsters run away and scatter to the woods, screaming in terror.
Toffee	[grunts]
	Toffee stands up, dusts himself off, and walks away angry. River arrives on the back of a warnicorn.
River	Queen Moon! You did it!
Moon	Oh, my gosh, River! [hugs him] Thank you!
	The Magic High Commission approaches Moon.
Rhombulus	What... did you just do?
Moon	I did my job! And as your queen, I will continue to do my job of protecting this kingdom! I will hunt down the remains of the monster army and scatter them without country or leadership! Now, are there any questions?
	The members of Moon's royal court stare at her.
Moon	I didn't think so.
	Moon walks toward Butterfly Castle, and her court members bow to her.