My New Wand!/Transcript

	(theme song)
	Episode start with a buffering screen through laptop screen
Star Butterfly	Guess who? [wipe off the screen as she reveal herself] It's me, Star! I have some exciting news for you. Well, first, Marco got kidnapped, and I blew up a bunch of stuff, including my wand. And I was super bummed because I thought I was never gonna get to do magic again, but then i got my new wan... (She take a hair brush as mistake as a wand then reveal her new upgrade wand afterward) My new wand! Oh, yeah and Marco's okay. Say hi, Marco
	Laptop webcam face toward Marco as he finish shower
Marco Diaz	Hey! [Blocking and closing his webcam]
	Scene cut to StarFan13's room and leave her confuse when she press the button.
Marco	I don't want the computer to watch me shower.
	Star's wand just levitate itself and leave it flying and bonce around the house.
Marco	What's up with your wand?
Star	I don't know.
Marco	Oh, no, it going downstairs.
Star	[yells in shocks] I almost died.
Marco	My towel!
Star	Hang on. I'll get you out.
Marco	Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second. I'm not decent.
Star	Oh, okay.
Marco	Don't open that.
Star	Wasn't gonna.
Marco	Uh, it's locked.
Star	What⁈
	Star pulls on door knob with both hands
Marco	Try the knob.
Star	What do you think I am doing?
	Laser puppies enter room
Star	No, no, not now, sweetie. [grunts] I usually open this door with my wand.
Marco	Well, your book ate it.
Star	Better not be pokin' around in there. That's my secrets closet. It's private.
Marco	Just get me outta here.
Star	[struggles to pull door open]
Glossaryck	What are you doing?
Star	[screams] Uh, hey, Glossaryck. My wand's locked in the closet.
Marco	Hey, what about me?
Star	Oh, yeah. Marco's in there too. And my spell book. Basically all my stuff. I want my stuff.
Glossaryck	Did you try the knob?
Star	I tried the knob.
	Star swings at door with a large sword
Star	Anything?
Glossaryck	Nope. Still locked.
Marco	Aha! What's going on? Is this some kind of training thing or something?
Glossaryck	Are you some kind of training thing? Are you mad? Is this wolf-babob rock bandage ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba...
Marco	Stop, stop. Stop it! Just tell me how to get out of here.
Glossaryck	Okay. I'll tell you what to do. Are you listening?
Marco	[sighs] Yes, I'm listening.
Glossaryck	To reach the chunks in the hobo stew, find her secret. That's the clue.
Marco	So if I find her secret, the door's just gonna magically open?
Glossaryck	Goodbye!
Marco	Secret? [looks at a mountainous pile of secrets] Which one? Here we got
	Star stabs the door with her sword
Glossaryck	Why don't you try the easy way and open the door with magic?
Star	I can't do magic. My wand's in the closet.
Glossaryck	[gasps, pupils dilating] Do you wanna try the hard way?
Star	[pupils dilating] Yeah! What's the hard way?
Glossaryck	You've never heard of the hard way?
Star	Nope. Sounds hard though.
Glossaryck	Oh, it is. But I can teach you.
Star	Teach me.
Glossaryck	The lesson begins inside my eyeball.
	Camera pans to inside Glossaryck's eye. He and Star sit round a bubbling cauldron.
Glossaryck	Imagine the universe as this big old cauldron, and magic is the bubbly stew inside, and your wand is the spoon. And now...
Star	[interrupting] My wand isn't a spoon. It's a wand.
Glossaryck	It's a metaphor, Star.
Star	No, it's a wand.
Glossaryck	Fine. It's a wand.
Star	[clapping] Now you're getting it.
Glossaryck	Now the wand can only skim the surface of the hobo gravy, watery and brown. But if you want to get to the chunks, you've got to dip down.
	Glossaryck extends his hands into the stew and lifts out a pile of mush from within it.
Glossaryck	Get it?
Star	[nods, then shakes her head] Uh-uh.
	Cauldron disappears in a poof. The pair is now back in Star's room.
Glossaryck	Okay, look. You can do magic without your wand. You just have to dip down, ya know? Dip down. Dip down!
Star	Without my wand?
Glossaryck	[shrugs] Your mom did it.
Star	psh! If she can do it, I can do it. Okay, I've just gotta dip down. [picks up laser puppy and shoots door with laser]
Glossaryck	Hot laser!
	Glossaryck lifts up his hand. A hole has been burned in it.
Star	I am so sorry.
Glossaryck	Star, try dipping downer for the chunks.
	Glossaryck enters the closet through the door's key hole and opens up the spell book
Marco	Ow!
Glossaryck	Ah, Marco my boy. How's it going over there?
Marco	Oh, you know, just trying to find her "secret" in a closet full of secrets!
Glossaryck	Yes, well, you know I do this because I love you.
Marco	Okay, that's a little weird.
Glossaryck	Ha ha. I'm sure it is. Now if you don't mind [gestures to wand], I've got work to do.
Marco	Yeah. So do I [opens a treasure box]
Strange Fish Thing	Help... me!
Marco	[screams]
Glossaryck	Hmm... [looks at wand]
	Star sits outside the closet, looking at the door. Her laser puppy pants.
Star	You ever dip down before, Sajak?
Sajak	[continues to pant]
Star	Yeah, me neither.
	Scene jumps back to inside the closet.
Marco	What a mess. It's time to get organized.
	Marco places two signs on the floor, one labeled "No secrets" the other "Secrets?" He walks over to the pile of stuff and starts sifting through it.
Marco	No... No!
	Scene jumps back to Star. She is in her room pacing.
Star	Dip down, dip down, dip down, dip down. Dip down, dip down, dip down, dip down. DIP DOWN! DOWN!! [stares at fish]
	Scene jumps to outside the closet. Star takes the pufferfish with a few rocks and throws them at the closet door
Star	Aquarium blast! [picks up just the fish] Fish blast. [looks at fish] Are you okay?
	Scene jumps back to Glossaryck
Glossaryck	Hmm.
	Scene jumps back to Star, back in her room
Star	Dip down. [falls face first on bed, crawls under the covers] Dip down. [pulls out a box underneath the bed labeled 'Mewnian Termytes' and smiles]
	Scene jumps back to Marco. He wheels around the closet on a unicycle
Marco	Nope.
	Scene jumps to Star. She releases the Mewnian Termytes into the closet through the door boards.
Marco	[screams] They're biting me!
Star	That didn't work.
Marco	Stop eating my flesh.
	Scene jumps back to Glossaryck
Glossaryck	[looks at wand] Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmmmmm.
	Scene jumps back to Star in her room.
Star	[exhales] Ahem. Call Mom.
Mirror	Calling Mom
Queen Butterfly	Star?
Star	Hi Mommy.
Queen	What did you do?
Star	[stammering] oh, wha, why would you, ha, that is [sighs] Okay, Marco's locked in my closet and Glossaryck wants me to dip down to get him out.
Queen	Dip down? I didn't learn that until I was 19.
Star	Wow! Wow. So I'm, like, advanced [chuckles]
Queen	I suppose.
Star	Anyway, Glossaryck didn't really give me any instructions, so...
Queen	Ha. That sounds familiar. Well, it's not easy. If you want to dip down, you have to summon everything you have.
Star	Everything⁈ Oh! Everything.
Queen	Star, you do know what I mean by everything...
Star	Yeah, totally, totally. [ends call]
	Scene jumps back to Marco
Marco	Okay, I think that's everything.
	Scene jumps back to Star. She has loaded all the items in her room into a giant catapult aimed at the closet door.
Star	[grunts, ties the catapult's rope down] You want everything? Everything you shall get [holds sword ready to swing]
Marco	Marco Diaz makin' progress.
	[crashing noise, all the piles fall on top of Marco]
	Glossaryck peaks inside Star's wand, looking at the Millhorse on the treadmill who screams.
Glossaryck	Okay, that's not good.
	Scene jumps back to Star
Star	Well, Marco, looks like I'm just a skimmer. Skimmin' the surface of the hobo gravy. The watery hobo gravy. How are things goin' for you?
Marco	[from inside the closet] Not so good. Actually, you thwarted my progress.
Star	[sigh] I guess it's not that bad. I can slide sandwiches under the door. Bring you your homework. Life could be good for you.
Marco	I don't wanna live in your secrets closet. [spell book glows]. Whoa! [holds it up, yells, drops it, grabs Glossaryck] Alright. No more riddles, little man. Tell me what I'm supposed to be looking for. [pokes Glossaryck, activating a flashlight] Ow. My eyes! [a book falls in front of Marco] Oh! So this is the thing.
Glossaryck	Bingo.
Marco	Star, I found the thing. It's a little book.
Star	That's good. Reading will keep the mind sharp. Like a horn.
Marco	It's in Mewnian writing. Oh, wait, here's English. "Chapter one. Mom's a poop head."
Star	Mom's a poop head? [gasps] Marco, no. No, no, no, no, no!
Marco	Hang on Star. Just give me a sec.
Star	Marco, no. That's not the thing. That's not the thing!
Marco	Skipping forward.
Star	Marco, put that down!
Marco	"On my tenth birthday, I put noxie forgs in all the servants's beds." [Glossaryck's light goes out] Hey.
Glossaryck	I'm out of juice. Dip down [dives into spell book]
Star	[banging on closet door] Marco, it's not the thing, it's not the thing!
Marco	[reading by light from the door] "Chapter 11, my thoughts on... Marco."
Star	[gasps] Dip down. [she turns blue, fills with magical energy, levitating off the floor, and successfully opens the lock]
	Marco crashes to the floor, still reading. Star blinks twice.
Star	I did it! I dipped, I dipped, I dipped, Marco! I'm not a skimmer. I dipped! [grabs the diary from his hands and smacks him with it]
Marco	Ow!
Star	Sorry. But don't read my journal.
	Spell books rolls out of the closet, opens to reveal Glossaryck and Star's wand
Glossaryck	Well, this thing's broken, but give it a whirl.
	Star blasts a hole in the roof, and a small tower appears.
Star	Uh...
Marco	I'm gonna go put on some pants.
Star	Uh...
Glossaryck	[coughs] I call dibs on the new tower.