On the Job/Transcript

	Scene opens on Mewni. The camera jumps to Buffrog's house, where he takes care of his tadpole babies. As he opens a pot to feed them dinner, Buffrog realizes the pot is empty, and he has no food for them. Buffrog frowns.
Buffrog	[opens phone] Call Boofly
Boofly	Hey, Buffrog! Long time no see man! I heard you have kids now.
Buffrog	Yes. 12 beautiful babies. Very hungry. I hear you're hiring for a job.
Boofly	Are you sure you're up for it? You've been out of the game for a while.
Buffrog	Oh, don't worry about me. I am just as evil as ever. Hmm. Hehehe. [rocks his children in their cradles]
	Scene jumps to the Diaz's home. Buffrog hands off his babies for Star and Marco to babysit.
Marco Diaz	It'll be just fine. Star and I got this handled.
Star Butterfly	Just like a suitcase. Totally handled.
Buffrog	Okay. Daddy will come get you after work. Six o'clock sharp. Be good and listen to babysitters.
	The portal closes, leaving Buffrog back on Mewni.
Buffrog	[bawls loudly] Come on. Pull yourself together man. Who's more evil than you? Nobody! [grunts and shouts] Hiya! Hya! Hya! Hya! [runs off to work]
	In another part of the Mewni forest.
Dogbull	Buffrog?
Boofly	Buffrog.
Dogbull	Buffrog Buffrog?
Boofly	Buffrog Buffrog.
Dogbull	The Buffrog?
Buffrog	[arriving] Actually, it's Yovginei Buffgoiapov
Dogbull	What?
Boofly	Guys, welcome the newest member of our team.
Dogbull	This guy? Look a little... soft. To me.
Buffrog	Soft⁈ [grunts and snarls]
Purple Monster	Ooh.
Dogbull	He's just like me. Ah, whatever. Last time he got his hands dirty, he was changing diapers. Heh-heh.
Buffrog	[grabs Dogbull] You want me to change your diaper?
Dogbull	[gasps, growls]
Boofly	Guys! Guys, guys, guys. We're all on the same team here. We have work to do.
	Scene changes to outside the rat's lodge. A rat sneaks out of the door. The team of villains watches as another rat gives it an ear of corn.
Buffrog	Corn!
Boofly	Corn!
Buffrog	Wait. Only Mewmans have corn. How rats have corn when monsters are starving?
Boofly	That's what we're here to find out.
Buffrog	In that case, let's get show on road.
Both:	Thumpie-bumpies!
Buffrog	Okay, here is plan. A) We capture rat. B) Make him tell us where he got corn.
Dogbull	Well great. I'll just go grab him!
Buffrog	No, no. Give your abs a break. We must do this quietly. Let me teach you about the element of surprise. [hops into air]
Boofly	Aw yeah! Buffrog's back!
	In a different part of a forest, a rat walks by itself, alone. It hears a rustling of leaves.
Rat	[squeaks]
Buffrog	Surprise!
	Buffrog grabs the rat from above with both hands.
Buffrog	Ha! Hahaha. Okay little guy. You and me will have little talk.
	Buffrog's mind visualizes the rat as one of his children for a breif instant.
Buffrog	Huh? [drops the rat] Wait!
Dogbull	What was that? Baby oil on your fingers? [laughs]
Boofly	Umm, Buffrog? Did that just happen?
Buffrog	Uhhh...
Dogbull	Look what was in the Lost and Found. [holds up rat] Yeah, 'cause he lost it. And we found it! Right?
All	[laughs]
Boofly	Uuuhh... Hey Buffrog. Uh, why don't you show the team your patented interrogation technique. This guy's the best!
Buffrog	[chuckles nervously]
	Buffrog holds out his hand over a table of various torture devices.
Buffrog	[to the rat] We will do this the easy way and the hard way. Easy for me, and hard for you.
Dogbull	This is amazing!
Boofly	He-heh. Told you he was good.
Buffrog	[approaching the rat with device] Where did you get the corn?
	Once again, Buffrog imagines the rat as one of his tadpole children.
Buffrog	Uuhhh! [groans, recovers] This rat is tougher than I thought. You're not going to want to see this.
Dogbull	Uuh, yeah I do!
Boofly	No, no, no. Lets, uh, leave the master to his work. You know how artists are [chuckles]
	The monsters leave Buffrog alone with the tied up rat.
Buffrog	[whimpers, drops torture device] Ooh! What is happening to me? [to rat] I can't do this to you. Wait. What am I doing? [grabs rat] I know what you're thinking. You think I'm soft because I have children, don't you? [growls] I'll show you!
	Scene jumps to the other villains. They hear the rat squealing very loudly.
Buffrog	[showing pictures] Oh, and can you believe Nadia here? Seriously. There ought to be a law against something that cute.
Rat	[continues to scream]
Buffrog	Oooh! We should do live chat with them. I call Star right now. [pulls out phone]
Rat	[screeches]
Buffrog	It's ringing!
Boofly	[distantly] I'm telling you, he probably found all the corn by now.
	The monsters find Buffrog with the rope untied and the rat nowhere to be found.
Dogbull	What did you just do⁈ You let him go⁈
Buffrog	Umm, yes. But...
Boofly	It's all according to the plan. I've seen him do this a hundred times. It's a classic. Buffrog interrogates the prisoner, then lets him go 'cause he's so freaked out that he'll lead us right to where the corn came from... technique. Am I right, B?
Buffrog	Oh, yes. Yes, never fails.
Dogbull	[picks up rope, sniffs] Well, I guess I can track his scent from here.
	The monsters follow Dogbull as he sniffs the ground, following the scent. Buffrog and Boofly stay behind.
Boofly	Hey, Bruh, are you good? 'Cause, um... that didn't look good.
Buffrog	I know. I know! This should be easy... but nothing is feeling right.
Boofly	You blow this again, I'm not gonna be able to cover for you.
Buffrog	No, no. I got this.
	The monsters gather back together, looking over the edge of a cliff.
Dogbull	Jackpot.
	They see a line of rats marching with corn strapped to their backs.
Buffrog	Yes, but this is not the source. Is only supply route.
Dogbull	Hey Buff-Daddy. You with us or what?
Buffrog	Yes. One hundred percent.
Dogbull	Okay, guys. Quiet...
	All the monsters quietly arm themselves. Buffrog pulls out his weapons, except that he accidentally grabs some baby toys which start playing baby music loudly. The monsters stare at him blankly.
Buffrog	Uuh... Umm...
Dogbull	Shh!
Buffrog	[stamping on toys] Ay. Ay. Ay.
Dogbull	Stop it!
	The rats scatter as Buffrog attempts to destroy the toys. Dogbull picks them up and throws them far away.
Buffrog	That was Katrina's favorite...
Dogbull	[grabs Buffrog, growls]
Boofly	Guys guys guys! Keep your cool.
Dogbull	Now, we're gonna do this my way. We follow the supply route back to the source, and we'll be swimming in delicious corn!!!
All	Corn!
Boofly	[to Buffrog] No no. Not you.
Buffrog	[whimpers]
Boofly	Alright. Everyone else, move out!
Buffrog	Wait! Boofly. Please! I need one more chance.
Boofly	Just go home man.
Buffrog	Thumbie-bumpie?
Boofly	No man. No thumpie-bumpie. [flies away]
	Buffrog's phone rings. He pulls it out, revealing a picture of his kids with the message "Good luck with your new job. We're counting on you!" Buffrog starts crying. The rest of the monsters continue on their quest.
Dogbull	[gasps]
	They have found the source of the corn; it is a Mewni corn field. Screaming, they all run towards the fields only to crash into a force field surrounding it.
Dogbull	No! Stupid Mewmans! [slams fists on field, notices a hole] Huh? Green hole?
	He tries to stick his hand through to grab some corn, but it's too far away.
Boofly	You can't fin in there. You need to try something small–
Dogbull	[grabs Boofly, tries to push him through]
Boofly	Hey!
King Butterfly	[inside castle] Corn, corn, corn. Ha ha! Corn! Corn! Corn! [heres something] Huh? [looks outside, sees monsters] My corn!
Dogbull	Come on man, suck in your gut!
King	You there, monsters! Get away from my corn!!
	The king launches a fireball. While it does not directly landing on the monsters, it magically surrounds them in a circle of flame.
King	Whoopsie!
Monsters	[gasp]
Turtle	No! [pulls into shell] Later.
Dogbull	We're toast!
	The fire roars loudly. When all hope is lost, Boofly looks up to see Buffrog leaping in from the sky.
Boofly	I thought you want home.
Buffrog	We are all going home [grabs them, hops out of the flames]
	They land in a fiery explosion some distance way.
Dogbull	My ab! My ab!! I'm missing an ab! [ab creaks into place] Oh, thank corn.
Boofly	Thanks Buffrog!
Porcupine	Thank you for saving us.
Turtle	Sorry we were mean.
Buffrog	Just doing my job.
Dogbull	[extends hand] I'm never making fun of dads again!
Buffrog	[opens his arms] Aww, c'mere my little perogis! [hugs them all]
Boofly	I don't want to ruin a moment, but um... we didn't get any corn.
Buffrog	True. We did not get corn. But mission not a failure. We found hole in Mewman force field that they did not know was there. We just need a way go get in through that hole [opens portal with scissors]
Boofly	If anyone can do it, you can!
Buffrog	Now, I must get babies. [gasps happily] Daddy missed you so much, my little kreplachs! [portal closes]
Dogbull	Know what? I'm gonna call my dad.
	Scene changes to some rats. They are taking corn from a field, bringing it too a greenly lit cave, and dumping it at the feet of Ludo, perched on his spider and bird.
	(end song)