(theme song)
Scene opens in Star's room. Glossaryck is eating Cornritos corn chips with his feet.
Glossaryck [picks up a chip] Hmmmm... [throws it away, picks up another] Hmm...
Star Butterfly [leaps out of her bed pillows] Ugh, just eat one already!
Glossaryck There's only ever one chip worth eating. Besides, if this is too boring, you could be practicing your magic.
Laser puppy Woof!
Star Fine! [walks to spell book] What are we learning today?
Glossaryck Why don't you pick one? Pick anything.
Star [gasps] And my mom would be cool with that?
Glossaryck Yes, there's a lot I do that your mom isn't cool with.
Star Well, how cool would she be with... this?! [laughs evilly]
Glossaryck The table of contents? A thrilling choice.
Star Why is that in the middle? [flips to another page] Ehh?
Glossaryck [tosses chip at Star's head] Pedestrian.
Star [flips to another page] Ehh?
Glossaryck [tosses another chip at Star's head] Boring.
Laser Puppy [barks]
Glossaryck [laughs, holds up a chip] The perfect chip!
Star Ohohoho. What's this?!
She shows Glossaryck the page. It's locked by magic blue chains and a skull. Ominous music plays.
Glossaryck Oh, no-no-no. [takes spell book away from Star]
Star Hey! You said anything!
Glossaryck It's the most dangerous chapter in the book. It shouldn't even be in there. Your mom would totally freak out.
Star Okay, okay, you sold me! I wanna read that!
Glossaryck Oh, I don't know Star. It could taint you.
Star [grabs Glossaryck's chip]
Glossaryck Perfect chip!
Star Unlock it.
Glossaryck Hostage-taking. Classic Butterfly.
Star Unlock it... or else. [brings chip to her mouth]
Glossaryck You wouldn't.
Star Ah-ah-ah... [moves her tongue precariously around the chip]
Glossaryck Okay, okay. [grabs the chip] Chip. [eats it]
Star Okay, so...
Glossaryck Yes, yes, but, um...
Glossaryck pushes Star away from the book with a spell.
Star Hey! This wasn't the deal!
Glossaryck Oh, well, I'm so sorry. But you're without your bargaining chip.
Star Fine. I am standing here. Open it!
Glossaryck pulls out a key and using his toe, inserts it into the skull. The skull falls to the floor.
Glossaryck Now, I'm going to show you for a split second.
Star's eyes glimmer with excitement. Glossaryck starts turning the page, but then he starts buzzing like a pager.
Glossaryck Wha... Bureaucracy of Magic? [picks up the call, puts his finger to his ear] Yes, this is he. Uh, this is...
Star Tell 'em you're busy.
Glossaryck ...kind of a bad time.
Star Tell 'em you're busy.
Glossaryck Are you listening to me? This is...
Star You're busy right now.
Glossaryck ... not a good time. This is the worst time. Star, I'll be right back.
Star Just hang up.
Glossaryck Don't turn the page.
Glossaryck's eyes turn black. He shrieks as he falls into a starry universe inside himself. Star peers in through his eyes.
Star Uh, Glossaryck?
Glossaryck continues to scream as he falls. Scene changes to outside a tower. A security guard (Sean) munches some Cornritos chips. Glossaryck slams into the front door, still screaming.
Sean Oh, hi, Mr. Glossaryck, sir.
Glossaryck Sean. Oh.
Sean [picking up Glossaryck] Sorry. The transporter's on the fritz today. [dusts off Glossaryck] But there's free muffins in the lobby.
Glossaryck Look, Sean, I was in the middle of something, and it was of ultra cosmic importance.
Sean Yeah, but you see, the Magic High Commission wants to see you too, and...
Glossaryck [laughs angrily]
Sean Uh, is everything alright?
Glossaryck [mocking] I don't know. Is everything alright? Did you get on the right flight? Are you running late? Are you cracked? Are you confused? Are you mad? [blubbers unintelligently]
Sean Oh, Mr. Glossaryck, you're so crazy. But you still have to go up and see the Magic High Commission.
Glossaryck Hand me your radio.
Sean hands over the radio, and a loud air horn blast knocks him back.
Sean Radio's on the fritz, too. You're gonna have to go up.
Glossaryck Oh. Very well.
Sean Great. Up the elevator, all the way to the top.
Glossaryck tries to float inside.
Sean Wait, wait, wait! [slams door closed] No magic in the building. You'll have to walk.
Glossaryck Fine. [floats to the ground]
Sean Have a magical day.
Glossaryck sprints out of sight, and the door closes. The scene changes back to Star.
Star Glossaryck?
She taps him; he simply dangles lifelessly in mid air.
Star [spins Glossaryck around] Glossaryck, Glossaryck, Glossaryck? He is not waking up. Time to call Mom.
Mirror Calling Mom.
Star's eyes glance at the spell book across the room, the forbidden chapter in sight.
Star Uh, never mind. [closes mirror curtains]
Scene jumps back to Glossaryck.
Sean Please step through the magical detection machine.
A wizard carrying many artifacts jumps in front of Glossaryck.
Glossaryck Oh, come on!
Sean Are you carrying any articles of magic, sorcery, or occult objects of a mystical nature?
Wizard Uh... no.
Sean Just step this way please.
The machine flashes green.
Sean Thank you. Okay, Mr. Glossaryck. Your turn.
Glossaryck runs through, setting off an alarm.
Glossaryck Wait, hold on. Are you kidding? That other guy just walked right through.
Sean Technology, right? I miss the simpler days.
Glossaryck removes all of his belongings.
Glossaryck I think we're done here.
Sean Have a magical...
The alarm goes off again. Scene jump-cuts; Glossaryck is being searched.
Glossaryck Sean, work with me please. Cosmic ultra importance.
Sean holds a scanner to Glossaryck's body. It sounds an alarm when held over Glossaryck's gemstone embedded in his head.
Glossaryck That stays with me. [takes off] Hello! Hold the elevator!
Glossaryck jumps into the elevator as the door closes, which squishes him, but he still squeezes through.
Sean Oh, hey, Mr. Glossaryck. Which floor?
Glossaryck We've done this. Top floor.
Sean pushes the elevator's top floor button, but nothing happens.
Glossaryck Uh, what's going on? The elevator's not moving.
Sean Uh, elevator's on the fritz too. Sorry. But there's muffins in the lobby.
Glossaryck Which part of "cosmic ultra importance" do you not understand?
Glossaryck moves Sean out of the way and pushes the top button until it lights up. Unfortunately, all the other buttons light up as well.
Wizard Now we have to stop on every floor! [laughs maniacally]
Glossaryck jumps out of the elevator just before the doors closes.
Glossaryck Sean! Stairs!
Sean points the way, and Glossaryck opens up a door to reveal a spiraling tower of stairs. He sighs, then magically beefs up his legs and starts sprinting. The scene changes back to Star.
Marco Diaz Hey Star, check it out. I'm getting my first chest hair. It's pretty small, but if you look at it in just the right light... [sees Glossaryck] Uh, Glossaryck? [pokes him] What's up with him?
Star [in front of spell book] He's on the fritz.
Marco Wait a sec. Are you doing something you're not supposed to?
Star Glossaryck said not to turn the page. But he didn't say you couldn't...
Scene changes back to Glossaryck. He is still running up stairs. He reaches the top floor, only to open the door and end up back on the first floor.
Sean Stairs are on the fritz too. [laughs]
Glossaryck [growls angrily, eyes lighting up with magic]
Sean Now, now, Mr. Glossaryck. N-No magic in the building.
A blast destroys the "No Magic" sign. Glossaryck holds his arms out, light envelops around him, and suddenly, the first floor smashes its way up the tower to the top. Glossaryck opens a pair of double doors and floats to one side of a table. Hekapoo, Lekmet, Rhombulus, and Omnitraxus Prime sit on the other side.
Hekapoo You're probably wondering why you're here.
An office chair rolls up behind Glossaryck.
Glossaryck Children, the only thing I wonder is why you waste my time.
Rhombulus [jumps on top of the table] Don't call me children! You're the children! I've got chest diamonds bigger than you!
Rhombulus's snake arms sizzle with magical energy.
Hekapoo Rhombulus...
Glossaryck Rhombulus, you still mad about my last visit?
Rhombulus encases Glossaryck inside a crystal. The crystal doesn't last long though, as it quickly cracks open.
Glossaryck [yawns] Excuse me, sorry. Don't mean to be rude. Getting stronger though, huh? That's good.
Rhombulus Gah. You always do this!
Rhombulus picks up the table and throws it outside, shattering the glass wall. He then attempts to attack Glossaryck. Glossaryck shines his forehead gemstone, and Rhombulus backs away and shoots crystals at him.
Glossaryck Now you bring me here... while I'm at work... [punches Rhombulus into a wall] ...doing my job...!
Glossaryck projects a giant hammer with his forehead gem and is about to strike Rhombulus.
Queen Butterfly Yes, Glossaryck.
The fighting immediately ends.
Queen That's exactly what we're here to talk about.
Glossaryck [bows to Queen Butterfly] My liege.
Sean sets up another table and slides it over to Magic High Commission.
Queen The Commission has discovered a problem. Something somewhere is sapping the power of magic from the universe.
Glossaryck Yes, that would explain the fritz.
Rhombulus [sitting in the corner] Oh, that's what I've been saying!
Hekapoo Hey! The time-out corner is not on the fritz!
Rhombulus Stupid Glossaryck. Stupid time-out.
Queen Omnitraxus has been searching for the leak's cause. Omnitraxus, what have you learned?
Omnitraxus [muffles inside his sphere]
Queen Hello? Omni? Can you hear me?
Rhombulus Check the inputs!
Hekapoo You, out!
Rhombulus [leaving the room] Yeah, whatever. I'll crystallize myself. Would you miss me? No.
Lekmet pushes buttons on a VCR like machine below Omnitraxus. The sphere cycles through various images, including Toffee, before stopping on a tomato can. Lekmet starts bleating and drooling.
Queen Well, whatever's causing it, I want everyone to be on their toes. Especially Star. I need you to accelerate her training.
Glossaryck Yeah... no.
Queen Why all the riddles? You were always very direct when you were training me.
Glossaryck [sighs] Well, it finally happened. Every queen wants to tell me how to do my job. "My training was different." You know what Glossaryck hears? Me, me, me, me, me! "I'm going to pull my mentor away from his job so I can be in the spotlight again." The only Butterfly to leave me be was your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother, Eclipsa the Queen of Darkness, whose chapter, coincidentally, you left Star alone with when you pulled me into this wonderland of red tape.
Glossaryck smacks on Omnitraxus Prime. The sphere reveals Star and Marco.
Star Turn the page! turn the page!
Marco Oh, I'm gonna turn the page!
Star Turn the page!
Marco I'm gonna turn the page!
Star [singing] Turn the page, Marco!
The High Commission shrieks/bleats.
Glossaryck You all did this because you don't trust me, and what's worse, you don't trust Star. My queen. My queen, your training was different because Star is different. You have to have faith in her to make choices that are best for her. And my job is to train Star to be a queen.
The queen nods, and her frown turns into a smile. Glossaryck's essence leaves the meeting and reappears in his body back in Star's room.
Glossaryck Oh!
Star is reading the spell book at her desk.
Glossaryck So?
Star Yeah.
Glossaryck You read the whole thing?
Star Yeah...
Glossaryck And?
Star It wasn't all that. I mean, I get it. Power of darkness, forces of evil, eternal suffering, blah-blah-blah. But honestly, didn't really affect me that much. Just wasn't my thing.
Glossaryck [to himself] Yes!
Star But Marco, on the other hand...
Marco floats in the middle of a purple vortex of dark magic, his eyes completely black.
Star Yikes.
Marco [mutters evilly]
Glossaryck Luckily, there's a spell to fix that.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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