Episode begins at the Diaz Household. | |
Marco, Ferguson, and Alfonzo | [o.s., laughing] |
Cut to Star's bedroom; Marco, Ferguson, and Alfonzo use Star's interdimensional mirror to make prank calls. | |
Marco | Another one, another one! |
Ferguson | Alright, alright, alright! Mirror, mirror, on the wall, call anyone. |
Mirror | Calling anyone. |
Ferguson, Alfonzo and Marco | [giggling] |
Marco and Alfonzo duck out of the mirror's view. A slime person appears in the mirror. | |
Slime person | Uh, hello? |
Ferguson | Greetings! I am King Fergon of Fergustan. |
Marco and Alfonzo | [giggling] |
Ferguson | Would you care for some treasure? |
Slime person | Uh, is this a joke? |
Ferguson | Okay, here's my booty! [giggling] |
Slime person | 'Cause I don't really think you're doing the joke right. |
Marco | [whispering] Ferguson! You're supposed to moon him! |
Ferguson | Oh, yeah, right. |
Slime person | Uh, I don't have time for this. [hangs up] |
Marco, Ferguson, and Alfonzo | [laughing] |
Marco | Hilarious! |
Star enters. | |
Star | Hey, what are you guys doing? |
Alfonzo | Making crank calls! |
Marco | Join the party! |
Star | Awesome! |
Star joins the three and rubs her hands together. | |
Marco | Mirror, mirror, call someone else. |
A pixie customer service agent appears in the mirror. | |
Pixie | I'm sorry, but you have exceeded your minutes. Your mirror service has been temporarily suspended. Please visit our office in Pixtopia to settle your bill. [giggles, hangs up] |
Star | [gasps] No! What if my mom tries to call me?! She's gonna freak! |
Marco | Oh, sorry, Star. That's my bad. The calls were totally my idea. |
Star | Marco, you messed up! Now you're just like me. Yeeeees. |
Marco | What? No! I-I made one mistake. |
Star | You sure "Star'd" this whole thing up. How's it feel? Not bad, right? [hugs Marco] Oh, Marco, now we can be mess-up twins! |
Marco | What?! Man, I ain't no twin. I'm... I'm... I'm Marco Diaz, only child! |
Star smiles mischievously. | |
Marco | Where are your scissors? |
Star hands Marco her dimensional scissors. | |
Marco | Let's go pay your bill. [opens a dimensional portal] |
Ferguson and Alfonzo | [gasps] You gotta take us with you! This dimension is so boring! |
Star | Sure. |
Ferguson | Yeah! Mmm! |
Ferguson and Alfonzo | [singing] Going into portal land! Teenage boys are holding hands! |
Star | Mess-up twins secret handshake! [giggling] |
Marco enters the portal. Star follows. Cut to Pixtopia, where the four are greeted by pixies. | |
Pixies | Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to Pixtopia! [singing] In Pixtopia, we love everything With our pixie hearts and our pixie wings We are friends with every frog we meet Even our bathrooms smell so sweet [squeak] |
Two pixies kiss Alfonzo's cheeks. | |
Alfonzo | Awww, they're so small! |
Star, Marco, Alfonzo, and Ferguson approach the Pixie Mirror Office. | |
Star | Here we are! How you gonna "Star" this one up, twinsy? |
Marco | I already told you, Star, I ain't no twin! Marco Diaz came into this world alone. Alone! |
Ferguson | [clicks at a pixie] |
Ferguson gets stuck in the door trying to enter the office. Alfonzo struggles to pull him inside. | |
Pixie clerk | Next. |
Marco | [slams head on ceiling] Ow! |
Star | Go ahead, Marco. Pay the nice pixie. |
Marco | [whispering] You guys gonna pitch in for this? |
Alfonzo | I have this flat penny from the state fair. |
Ferguson | I have this jawbreaker, but I sorta had plans for it. |
Star | Marco, did you forget to bring money, like I did? [giggles] |
Marco | No, as a matter of fact, I brought... |
Marco pulls several crumpled-up bills out of his sock. | |
Female voice | [singing] Marco's Emergency Cash Stash! |
Marco places the bills on the counter in front of the pixie clerk. | |
Marco | This is for the Butterfly account. I think that should cover it. And, uh, this is for you. [adds a quarter] Go buy yourself some of those thimble-sized shoes. |
The pixie clerk throws the bills in Marco's face. | |
Pixie clerk | I'm sorry, sir. We only accept gold and jewels. You'll have to work of the bill in the Shard Mines. |
Star, Marco, Alfonzo, and Ferguson | Shard Mines? |
The pixie clerk opens a trapdoor under Star, Marco, Alfonzo, and Ferguson, and they fall through. | |
Star, Marco, Alfonzo, and Ferguson | [screaming] |
The trapdoor closes. | |
Pixie clerk | Next. |
Star, Marco, Alfonzo and Ferguson fall into a mineshaft. | |
Star, Marco, Alfonzo and Ferguson | [screaming] |
Marco lands on the ground. Star lands on Marco. Alfonzo lands on both of them. Ferguson slides down a ladder | |
Ferguson | [screaming, stops] Hey, guys. |
Star | Wow, Marco. I couldn't have "Star'd" that one better up myself. |
Marco | Like I was supposed to know to bring jewels. |
Pixie taskmaster | Welcome to the Shard Mines. Now get to pickin'! |
Marco | I, uh, 'm sure this was all just a big misunders— |
The pixie taskmaster whips Marco with a laser whip. | |
Marco | Whoa! [starts mining] Jeez! Now what? |
Star | Don't worry, twinsy. I got this. [points wand at taskmaster] Strawberry Annihilation! |
Magic wand | [error noise] |
Star | Strawberry—! |
Magic wand | [error noise] |
Star | Straw—! |
Magic wand | [error noise] |
Taskmaster | [laughing] Nice try, blondie. These mines block magic. |
Star | Okay. You want some of this? Let's go, little man! |
Marco | [holds Star back] Whoa-whoa. Easy, Star. Okay. Okay, sir, I'm-I'm sure we can work this out. See, this is the princess of Mewni, Star Butterfly. Her dad has connections. |
Ferguson | And I'm King Fergon! |
Taskmaster | Yeah, yeah. And I'm the Duchess of Daisyland. |
Ferguson | Ooh! Pleased to meet you, Duchess of Daisyland. |
Taskmaster | No, the pleasure's all mine, King FFFFergon! Take him away! |
Two burly pixies approach Ferguson. | |
Ferguson | [gasps] Uh-oh. [laughing nervously] Hey! Wait! |
The pixies drag Ferguson away by his cape. Marco and Star try to help, but the taskmaster whips them back to work. | |
Ferguson | Guys, help! [crying] |
Cut to Pixie Empress' palace. The two pixies drag Ferguson into the throne room. | |
Pixie Guard | Empress this prisoner was disobedient. |
Pixie Empress | He looks delicious. |
Ferguson | Wha? |
Pixie Empress | [flies up to Ferguson] Are you a king? |
Ferguson | Uh... This is a plunger. |
Pixie Empress | Tell me, are you betrothed? |
Ferguson | Yes. ...What is betrothed? |
Pixie Empress | [giggling] Oh, such wit! |
Ferguson | Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa. Are you, um... Are you, like, into me? |
Pixie Empress | Oh, big time. |
Ferguson | [blushes] Wow. Wow! [laughing nervously] Alright! Alright, so you think you can let my friends— |
Pixie Empress | [kisses Ferguson on the cheek] |
Ferguson | ... |
Cut back to the Shard Mines. Star, Marco, and Alfonzo are still mining. | |
Alfonzo | [coughing violently] |
Minotaur | Looks like your friend's getting a bad case of pixie lung. |
Marco | This is crazy! We have to find a way out of here and save Ferguson! |
Wizard | Sorry. There's no way out. Not that I've seen— |
Star | What about that mine cart? |
Star points to an empty mine cart near a neon "EXIT" sign. | |
Wizard | But that's the bathroom. |
Minotaur | Like fried eggs. |
Star, Marco, and Alfonzo climb into the mine cart. | |
Star | Come on! |
Taskmaster | Guards! Seize them! |
The minotaur and wizard jump into the mine cart, and it speeds down the tracks. The taskmaster and pixie guard follow in a second mine cart. Cut back to the Pixie Empress' throne room. Ferguson enjoys a bubble bath while a pixie fans him with a giant leaf. | |
Pixie Empress | I've never met anyone with such beautiful, soft, excess skin. |
Ferguson | [laughing] Oh, yes! I try to not move around too much. |
Cut back to the Shard Mines. The pixies chase Star, Marco, Alfonzo, the minotaur, and the wizard through the elaborate mine shafts. | |
Star, Marco, Alfonzo, Minotaur, and Wizard | [screaming] |
A pixie guard throws a crystal shard onto the tracks. Star and the others' cart briefly flips through the air before it lands right-side up. They land back inside the cart and continue forward. When the two carts gets close, and the pixie taskmaster whips at the wizard. The two carts end up on parallel tracks. | |
Star | Hey! You should watch where you're going! |
Taskmaster | You watch where you're going! |
The pixies' cart takes a sudden drop. | |
Taskmaster | [screaming] |
Star and the others' cart travel up into the Pixie Empress' throne room. | |
Star, Marco, Alfonzo, Minotaur, and Wizard | Oof! |
Pixies | [gasps] |
Two pixies point swords at them. A third pixie points a chainsaw at them. Ferguson sits on a pile of pillows being served various foods. | |
Ferguson | Hey! I was just about to come rescue you guys! |
Alfonzo | [hugs Ferguson] Ferguson! I was so worried! |
Ferguson | Yeah. Turns out they worship me here. |
Six pixies carry Ferguson across the room. | |
Ferguson | And check out my new girlfriend. That's right, I did, I said "girlfriend." |
Pixie Empress | He calls me Sugar Wings. [giggling] |
Ferguson | I am so happy you guys are here. You're just in time for my wedding! |
Several banners unfurl from the ceiling. Pixies appear seated in chapel pews. Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" plays. | |
Pastor pixie | Are you two ready to swear your undying love for each other? |
Marco | No! This is crazy! Ferguson, think about this! You're not ready for this kind of commitment! You're only fourteen! You still paint a face on your stomach and make it talk! |
Ferguson lifts up his shirt to reveal a face on his stomach drawn in marker. | |
Ferguson's stomach face | He has a point. |
Ferguson | Empress, you're an amazing flying pixie lady and you're really cool, but... I didn't really think this through. I'm sorry. I can't marry you. |
Pixie Empress | [smiles] Hmm. Guards... kill them all. |
The pixies attack the group with swords. Marco fights back with karate, and Star defends herself with her wand. Ferguson hides behind the wedding cake. He removes the Ferguson figurine from the top of the cake. | |
Ferguson | Fly free, little Ferg! [takes the Pixie Empress figurine] And I am saving you for later. |
Star knocks a sword out of a pixie's hand. It falls on top of three pixies about to attack the minotaur and wizard, knocking them out. | |
Star | Winter Storm Hyper Blow! |
Star blasts the pixies with cold air, freezing them in ice. Star opens a dimensional portal. | |
Star | Let's go! |
Pixie Empress | No! I haven't killed you yet! |
Star | Rainbow Flytrap! |
Star traps the Pixie Empress and her guards in a rainbow-colored flytrap. | |
Empress and Guards | Oof! |
Star and Marco jump through the portal. Ferguson steps halfway through. | |
Ferguson | I still think you're cool! [leaves] |
Pixie Empress | [sighs] He was out of my league anyway. |
Cut to Star's bedroom. Star falls onto her bed. | |
Star | That's it! I'm switching service providers! |
Marco | Yeah, good call. Star, I feel bad. I think I may have ruined Ferguson's one chance at love. Maybe we are mess-up twins. |
Star | Oh, Marco. That pixie didn't love Ferguson. She just wanted to eat him. |
Marco | Really? |
Star | And let's be honest. Ferguson does look delicious. |
Marco and Star | [laughing] |
Marco | Well, yeah, I guess nobody's perfect. |
Camera pans out to show Ferguson standing a few feet away. | |
Ferguson | Uh, why are you guys talking about me like I'm not here? And where's Alfonzo? |
Cut back to Pixie Empress' throne room. The Empress is getting married to Alfonzo. | |
Pastor pixie | You may now kiss the bride. |
Alfonzo and Empress | [kiss] |
Pixies | [cheering] |
Alfonzo | Yay! I will make a great pixie king! I'll be very tyrannical, hmm? |
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