Episode begins at the Diaz Household.
Marco, Ferguson, and Alfonzo [o.s., laughing]
Cut to Star's bedroom; Marco, Ferguson, and Alfonzo use Star's interdimensional mirror to make prank calls.
Marco Another one, another one!
Ferguson Alright, alright, alright! Mirror, mirror, on the wall, call anyone.
Mirror Calling anyone.
Ferguson, Alfonzo and Marco [giggling]
Marco and Alfonzo duck out of the mirror's view. A slime person appears in the mirror.
Slime person Uh, hello?
Ferguson Greetings! I am King Fergon of Fergustan.
Marco and Alfonzo [giggling]
Ferguson Would you care for some treasure?
Slime person Uh, is this a joke?
Ferguson Okay, here's my booty! [giggling]
Slime person 'Cause I don't really think you're doing the joke right.
Marco [whispering] Ferguson! You're supposed to moon him!
Ferguson Oh, yeah, right.
Slime person Uh, I don't have time for this. [hangs up]
Marco, Ferguson, and Alfonzo [laughing]
Marco Hilarious!
Star enters.
Star Hey, what are you guys doing?
Alfonzo Making crank calls!
Marco Join the party!
Star Awesome!
Star joins the three and rubs her hands together.
Marco Mirror, mirror, call someone else.
A pixie customer service agent appears in the mirror.
Pixie I'm sorry, but you have exceeded your minutes. Your mirror service has been temporarily suspended. Please visit our office in Pixtopia to settle your bill. [giggles, hangs up]
Star [gasps] No! What if my mom tries to call me?! She's gonna freak!
Marco Oh, sorry, Star. That's my bad. The calls were totally my idea.
Star Marco, you messed up! Now you're just like me. Yeeeees.
Marco What? No! I-I made one mistake.
Star You sure "Star'd" this whole thing up. How's it feel? Not bad, right? [hugs Marco] Oh, Marco, now we can be mess-up twins!
Marco What?! Man, I ain't no twin. I'm... I'm... I'm Marco Diaz, only child!
Star smiles mischievously.
Marco Where are your scissors?
Star hands Marco her dimensional scissors.
Marco Let's go pay your bill. [opens a dimensional portal]
Ferguson and Alfonzo [gasps] You gotta take us with you! This dimension is so boring!
Star Sure.
Ferguson Yeah! Mmm!
Ferguson and Alfonzo [singing] Going into portal land! Teenage boys are holding hands!
Star Mess-up twins secret handshake! [giggling]
Marco enters the portal. Star follows. Cut to Pixtopia, where the four are greeted by pixies.
Pixies Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to Pixtopia!
In Pixtopia, we love everything
With our pixie hearts and our pixie wings
We are friends with every frog we meet
Even our bathrooms smell so sweet
Two pixies kiss Alfonzo's cheeks.
Alfonzo Awww, they're so small!
Star, Marco, Alfonzo, and Ferguson approach the Pixie Mirror Office.
Star Here we are! How you gonna "Star" this one up, twinsy?
Marco I already told you, Star, I ain't no twin! Marco Diaz came into this world alone. Alone!
Ferguson [clicks at a pixie]
Ferguson gets stuck in the door trying to enter the office. Alfonzo struggles to pull him inside.
Pixie clerk Next.
Marco [slams head on ceiling] Ow!
Star Go ahead, Marco. Pay the nice pixie.
Marco [whispering] You guys gonna pitch in for this?
Alfonzo I have this flat penny from the state fair.
Ferguson I have this jawbreaker, but I sorta had plans for it.
Star Marco, did you forget to bring money, like I did? [giggles]
Marco No, as a matter of fact, I brought...
Marco pulls several crumpled-up bills out of his sock.
Female voice [singing] Marco's Emergency Cash Stash!
Marco places the bills on the counter in front of the pixie clerk.
Marco This is for the Butterfly account. I think that should cover it. And, uh, this is for you. [adds a quarter] Go buy yourself some of those thimble-sized shoes.
The pixie clerk throws the bills in Marco's face.
Pixie clerk I'm sorry, sir. We only accept gold and jewels. You'll have to work of the bill in the Shard Mines.
Star, Marco, Alfonzo, and Ferguson Shard Mines?
The pixie clerk opens a trapdoor under Star, Marco, Alfonzo, and Ferguson, and they fall through.
Star, Marco, Alfonzo, and Ferguson [screaming]
The trapdoor closes.
Pixie clerk Next.
Star, Marco, Alfonzo and Ferguson fall into a mineshaft.
Star, Marco, Alfonzo and Ferguson [screaming]
Marco lands on the ground. Star lands on Marco. Alfonzo lands on both of them. Ferguson slides down a ladder
Ferguson [screaming, stops] Hey, guys.
Star Wow, Marco. I couldn't have "Star'd" that one better up myself.
Marco Like I was supposed to know to bring jewels.
Pixie taskmaster Welcome to the Shard Mines. Now get to pickin'!
Marco I, uh, 'm sure this was all just a big misunders—
The pixie taskmaster whips Marco with a laser whip.
Marco Whoa! [starts mining] Jeez! Now what?
Star Don't worry, twinsy. I got this. [points wand at taskmaster] Strawberry Annihilation!
Magic wand [error noise]
Star Strawberry—!
Magic wand [error noise]
Star Straw—!
Magic wand [error noise]
Taskmaster [laughing] Nice try, blondie. These mines block magic.
Star Okay. You want some of this? Let's go, little man!
Marco [holds Star back] Whoa-whoa. Easy, Star. Okay. Okay, sir, I'm-I'm sure we can work this out. See, this is the princess of Mewni, Star Butterfly. Her dad has connections.
Ferguson And I'm King Fergon!
Taskmaster Yeah, yeah. And I'm the Duchess of Daisyland.
Ferguson Ooh! Pleased to meet you, Duchess of Daisyland.
Taskmaster No, the pleasure's all mine, King FFFFergon! Take him away!
Two burly pixies approach Ferguson.
Ferguson [gasps] Uh-oh. [laughing nervously] Hey! Wait!
The pixies drag Ferguson away by his cape. Marco and Star try to help, but the taskmaster whips them back to work.
Ferguson Guys, help! [crying]
Cut to Pixie Empress' palace. The two pixies drag Ferguson into the throne room.
Pixie Guard Empress this prisoner was disobedient.
Pixie Empress He looks delicious.
Ferguson Wha?
Pixie Empress [flies up to Ferguson] Are you a king?
Ferguson Uh... This is a plunger.
Pixie Empress Tell me, are you betrothed?
Ferguson Yes. ...What is betrothed?
Pixie Empress [giggling] Oh, such wit!
Ferguson Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa. Are you, um... Are you, like, into me?
Pixie Empress Oh, big time.
Ferguson [blushes] Wow. Wow! [laughing nervously] Alright! Alright, so you think you can let my friends—
Pixie Empress [kisses Ferguson on the cheek]
Ferguson ...
Cut back to the Shard Mines. Star, Marco, and Alfonzo are still mining.
Alfonzo [coughing violently]
Minotaur Looks like your friend's getting a bad case of pixie lung.
Marco This is crazy! We have to find a way out of here and save Ferguson!
Wizard Sorry. There's no way out. Not that I've seen—
Star What about that mine cart?
Star points to an empty mine cart near a neon "EXIT" sign.
Wizard But that's the bathroom.
Minotaur Like fried eggs.
Star, Marco, and Alfonzo climb into the mine cart.
Star Come on!
Taskmaster Guards! Seize them!
The minotaur and wizard jump into the mine cart, and it speeds down the tracks. The taskmaster and pixie guard follow in a second mine cart. Cut back to the Pixie Empress' throne room. Ferguson enjoys a bubble bath while a pixie fans him with a giant leaf.
Pixie Empress I've never met anyone with such beautiful, soft, excess skin.
Ferguson [laughing] Oh, yes! I try to not move around too much.
Cut back to the Shard Mines. The pixies chase Star, Marco, Alfonzo, the minotaur, and the wizard through the elaborate mine shafts.
Star, Marco, Alfonzo, Minotaur, and Wizard [screaming]
A pixie guard throws a crystal shard onto the tracks. Star and the others' cart briefly flips through the air before it lands right-side up. They land back inside the cart and continue forward. When the two carts gets close, and the pixie taskmaster whips at the wizard. The two carts end up on parallel tracks.
Star Hey! You should watch where you're going!
Taskmaster You watch where you're going!
The pixies' cart takes a sudden drop.
Taskmaster [screaming]
Star and the others' cart travel up into the Pixie Empress' throne room.
Star, Marco, Alfonzo, Minotaur, and Wizard Oof!
Pixies [gasps]
Two pixies point swords at them. A third pixie points a chainsaw at them. Ferguson sits on a pile of pillows being served various foods.
Ferguson Hey! I was just about to come rescue you guys!
Alfonzo [hugs Ferguson] Ferguson! I was so worried!
Ferguson Yeah. Turns out they worship me here.
Six pixies carry Ferguson across the room.
Ferguson And check out my new girlfriend. That's right, I did, I said "girlfriend."
Pixie Empress He calls me Sugar Wings. [giggling]
Ferguson I am so happy you guys are here. You're just in time for my wedding!
Several banners unfurl from the ceiling. Pixies appear seated in chapel pews. Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" plays.
Pastor pixie Are you two ready to swear your undying love for each other?
Marco No! This is crazy! Ferguson, think about this! You're not ready for this kind of commitment! You're only fourteen! You still paint a face on your stomach and make it talk!
Ferguson lifts up his shirt to reveal a face on his stomach drawn in marker.
Ferguson's stomach face He has a point.
Ferguson Empress, you're an amazing flying pixie lady and you're really cool, but... I didn't really think this through. I'm sorry. I can't marry you.
Pixie Empress [smiles] Hmm. Guards... kill them all.
The pixies attack the group with swords. Marco fights back with karate, and Star defends herself with her wand. Ferguson hides behind the wedding cake. He removes the Ferguson figurine from the top of the cake.
Ferguson Fly free, little Ferg! [takes the Pixie Empress figurine] And I am saving you for later.
Star knocks a sword out of a pixie's hand. It falls on top of three pixies about to attack the minotaur and wizard, knocking them out.
Star Winter Storm Hyper Blow!
Star blasts the pixies with cold air, freezing them in ice. Star opens a dimensional portal.
Star Let's go!
Pixie Empress No! I haven't killed you yet!
Star Rainbow Flytrap!
Star traps the Pixie Empress and her guards in a rainbow-colored flytrap.
Empress and Guards Oof!
Star and Marco jump through the portal. Ferguson steps halfway through.
Ferguson I still think you're cool! [leaves]
Pixie Empress [sighs] He was out of my league anyway.
Cut to Star's bedroom. Star falls onto her bed.
Star That's it! I'm switching service providers!
Marco Yeah, good call. Star, I feel bad. I think I may have ruined Ferguson's one chance at love. Maybe we are mess-up twins.
Star Oh, Marco. That pixie didn't love Ferguson. She just wanted to eat him.
Marco Really?
Star And let's be honest. Ferguson does look delicious.
Marco and Star [laughing]
Marco Well, yeah, I guess nobody's perfect.
Camera pans out to show Ferguson standing a few feet away.
Ferguson Uh, why are you guys talking about me like I'm not here? And where's Alfonzo?
Cut back to Pixie Empress' throne room. The Empress is getting married to Alfonzo.
Pastor pixie You may now kiss the bride.
Alfonzo and Empress [kiss]
Pixies [cheering]
Alfonzo Yay! I will make a great pixie king! I'll be very tyrannical, hmm?
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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