Pizza Party/Transcript

	(theme song)
	Episode begins with a flashback on Mewni, outside Solaria's village. There's a monster roaring.
Mina Loveberry	Rags for sale. Get your lightly-used rags here. Oof!
A monster	[roaring]
Mina	Oh, corn!
Solaria Butterfly	Halt, vile monster! Prepare for justice!
	Solaria battles a monster.
Solaria	Hi-yah!
A monster	[screeche
	Camera pans to Mina Loveberry. Then, camera pans to Solaria with young Eclipsa.
Eclipsa Butterfly	[cooing]
Solaria	Crawl back to the pit from whence you came! I, Queen Solaria, herby claim this village for Mewmankind!
Eclipsa	[cooing, chuckles]
A monster	Hmm, fine, I'll go. [crying] Maybe you shouldn't build your village on my nest. You ever think of that?
Crowd	[cheering]
Woman	That's actually pretty helpful.
Solaria	Citizens! Too long you have lived under the monsters' reign of terror. I am forming a new, volunteer army to remove this monster threat once and for all. Now, who among you will join me?
Eclipsa	[giggles]
Woman	Uh... do we have to?
Solaria	What?
Woman	We're pretty used to this by now. It's fine.
Solaria	It's not fine.
Man #1	Plus, shouldn't you be doing, like, queen stuff?
Man #2	Yeah, seems like a lot of work.
Man #3	Yeah, I gotta get back to work, man. I gotta do my laundry.
Man #1	I have to go to the bathroom.
Solaria	Well, there you have it, Eclipsa.
Eclipsa	[gurgles]
Solaria	Another village seemingly unconcerned with rampaging monsters.
Eclipsa	[chuckles]
Solaria	Oh, yes, you're so sweet. Let's go get a Snookers. You want a Snookers?
Mina	Your majesty? For what it's worth, I thought your speech was real neat. You must be the strongest queen ever, standing up to all those monsters!
Solaria	So, there is someone brave enough to step forward.
Eclipsa
Solaria	Peasant girl, will you volunteer to be my first Solarian warrior?
Mina	Aw, jeez, I'd love to, but I'm just a simple rag peddler. [gasps] Oh!
Solaria	[grunts] No. I see your conviction. Your love for your kingdom. You are exactly the kind of soldier I'm looking for.
Mina	But I've never fought anyone before.
Solaria	That is no matter. I do not ask for strength. I ask only that you believe in me.
Mina	I do believe in you.
Solaria	Then swear yourself to me, and I will make you the fiercest warrior Mewni has ever known.
	The rooster distant crows. Then, Mina's body becomes larger and more muscular.
Mina	[demonic-voiced] Time to fulfill my oath!
	Scene cuts to present day - The Monster Temple.
Moon Butterfly	Star, I know it must seem crazy that Mina's working for me. But let me explain.
Star Butterfly	[turns into butterfly form] You t-traitor!
	Star summons cupcakes at her mother, Moon, while she's sustained.
Moon	[turns into butterfly mode, groans] I know what this looks like, but you have to understand.
Star	Understand what?
	Star casts different spells at Moon, while she's still sustained.
Moon	[gasps] Mina was already planning to overthrow Eclipsa. Trust me, I stopped her from doing far worse.
Star	So you start a revolution behind my back?
	Star casts different spells once again.
Moon	The one who started this was her!
	Moon shoots at Eclipsa, but accidentally smashes the floor.
Moon	Oh, dear! That was an accident.
Star	Pfft. Accident. Like anyone's gonna believe that.
Moon	[sighs] Star, I know you trust Eclipsa. I trusted her once, too. Look where that got me.
Eclipsa	I beg your pardon?
Moon	You're the reason I was lost in the magic dimension. You're the reason I was separated from my family from my daughter!
Eclipsa	That was an accident, Moon. You know that. And Star can take care of herself. She's far wiser than we were at her age.
Moon	I'm not going to argue about this, Eclipsa. I'm here to offer you a deal.
Star	Deal? Mom, what are you doing?
Moon	Surrender the crown to me. In return, I'll call off Mina and my Solarian warriors.
Eclipsa	So you're the one who created the warriors. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.
Moon	After that, I'll heal Globgor at the magic sanctuary, and you and your family will be free to live in any dimension of your choosing except this one.
Eclipsa	And if I don't do what you're asking? What then?
Moon	Things could get worse.
	Eclipsa is about to use her parasol.
Marco Diaz	[gasps]
Star	No!
Eclipsa	It's all right, Star. I tried my best, but it appears my best wasn't enough.
Star	What?
	Moon picks up the wand out of Eclipsa's hand, and it transforms into her Royal Magic Wand. Then, scene cuts flashback to Solaria's village.
Villagers	[screaming]
	Scene transitions into a crystal ball, while takes place inside the Bureaucracy of Magic.
Rhombulus	Yeah! We're number one! We're number one! Eat this, Eclipsa! Not so fancy now, are ya? Wooo! Pizza party!
Hekapoo	Who let him have soda?
	Rhombulus uses snake hands to eat plenty of pizza.
Hekapoo	Hey, watch it! You're making a mess.
Rhombulus	Huh? A mess? [mocking] Oh, no! Please don't arrest me! [snakes laughing] - No, not the dungeon again.
Hekapoo	Isn't this a little premature? Eclipsa hasn't even surrendered yet, and the last time I tried to contact Mina, she just sent back a bag of old jelly beans. I don't know what that means.
Sean	Well, it's only a matter of time, isn't it? I'm just excited for things to go back to the way they were in the good ol' days.
Rhombulus	The Magic High Commission is back in the game, baby! We'll be back to our glorious schedule of weekly meetings with the queen, and the pre-meetings and the meetings to schedule meetings, and the post-meeting and the bi-monthly meeting to discuss the productivity of our meetings as well as checking the notes to accurately record the minutes of what are you doing to that pizza? I'm eating it!
	While Rhombulus is still talking, Hekapoo uses the scissors to open a dimensional portal and goes though, leaving a duplicate to take her place. Then, scene cuts to the Monster Temple. Eclipsa opens the door and comes inside with Meteora.'
Eclipsa	Knock-knock.
	Star also comes inside and borrows Meteora.
Eclipsa	I'll only need a minute.
	Moon comes inside.
Eclipsa	How are you holding up? I think I found a way to keep us all safe. We'll be giving up a lot, and but since when has our relationship ever been easy?
Meteora Butterfly	Papa.
Star	Oh, he's really, really not looking so good.
Moon	No, he's not. But this will all be over soon.
Star	Mm-hmm. And the monsters? Are you gonna stop attacking them, too?
Moon	I never told the soldiers to attack the monsters. You know how overeager Mina can get. But I would not attack innocent civilians.
Star	I don't know. Doesn't seem too off-brand for you at this point.
Eclipsa	I'm doing this for us, Globgor. [kisses] Be back in a jiffy.
	Moon uses a lever to open the roof of the Monster Temple, while Star, Eclipsa, Meteora, and Marco are sitting in a stump.
Star	So, you're just gonna leave Mewni.
Eclipsa	I'm sorry, Star. I know you've tried so hard to help me. But right now, what's best for Mewni is that my family leaves.
Moon	Eclipsa's right, Star. As queen, it is your duty to do what is best for your people even if they end up hating you for it.
	The rooster crows.
Moon	[gasps]
	Mina appears dressed up as an armor of herself.
Mina	What's up, scalawags? Looks like time's up!
	Mina squishes a rooster, and throws it away.
Mina	Now, the fun begins.
	Mina removes the helmet of an armor to examine Moon.
Mina	[grunts] So, you've captured the monster smoocher, did ya? [laughs] Did she put up a fight? Gonna make a necklace out of all the teeth you knocked out?
Moon	No, Mina. Eclipsa has chosen to surrender.
Mina	Of course she's agreed to surrender. She's a coward and a traitor to her mother's legacy. Now, if you don't mind, Moon, I'm gonna need ya to scoot to the side a little.
Moon	I wait, what?
Mina	You know, just scootch a little so I don't accidentally get ya when I run her through with my sword and all.
Marco	Huh?
Star and Eclipsa	What?
Moon	That won't be necessary. Eclipsa is here to officially announce her resignation. You are your troops may stand down. Oh, to be perfectly honest, at this point, I'll I'll skip the speech and be on my way.
Mina	No one's going anywhere! Where's Globgor, you monster fangirl?
Moon	Globgor is no longer your concern, Mina. He will be leaving Mewni along with Eclipsa and Meteora.
Mina	Ugh! But you're letting them off too easy! What about your army, huh?! We all swore an oath to protect Mewni. To get rid of all those dirty monsters and make life good again for the real Mewmans!
Woman #2	You tell 'em, sister!
Moon	This was never about hurting monsters, Mina. Now, for the last time, stand down! I gave you all your powers, and I can take them away.
Mina	Oh, I'll stand down, all right. Right after we round up all the monsters and shove 'em all off the cliff. They're all gonna be like, "Oh, oh, no. My bod." "Oh, my poor monster bod!"
Star	I used to look up to this person.
Moon	That's it, Mina.
	Moon allures the power of her wand.
Moon	Return the power paid in blood. Your essence now restored. Revoke the strength that comes in floods, and rest forevermore!
	Moon tries to reverse the effects of Solaria's Solarian Metamorphosis.
Man #4	[laughs] That tickled.
Moon	I don't understand.
Mina	[laughs]
Moon	[gasps]
Mina	Did you really think that would work? You may have created the warriors, but we pledged our loyalty to Queen Solaria.
	Mina's warriors' armors bang the metal of their chest.
Moon	What?
Mina	Now then, my warriors, rise and assemble!
	Mina's warriors get their swords to arrest every monster and monster smoocher they can find, but save Globgor for her.
Mina	Arrest every monster and monster smoocher you can find, but save Globgor for me!
Moon	No! This wasn't supposed to happen.
Star	What did you expect, Mom? You teamed up with Mina!
Moon	We have to go, now!
	Mina's warriors utilize their Solarian Swords to demolish the Monster Temple.
Star, Marco, Moon and Eclipsa	[scream]
Mina	You mooks are also under arrest. Why? For obstructing mama's business!
Moon	Mina, this is madness!
Mina	No, Moon. This is justice!
	Mina attacks Star, Marco, Moon, Eclipsa, and Meteora with her Solarian Sword.
Star, Marco, Moon, and Eclipsa	[screaming]
	Star, Marco, Moon, Eclipsa, and Meteora vanish through a dimensional portal.
Mina	Huh? Oof!
	Mina hits herself in the wall, abounded by Solarian Swords, and descends the floor. Afterward, the dimensional portal closes.
Mina	Gah! Ugh! Not fair!
	The Solarian Swords, along with the top of the Monster Temple, ascend.
Mina	Idiots! Find Eclipsa!
	Mina demolishes the entrance.
Mina	Next room!
	River is wearing a grizzly bear costume.
River Butterfly	Hmm.
	Eddie emerges the vase filled with plants.
Eddie	Hello.
River	Move.
Eddie	Whoops-a-diddle!
	Eddie pulls the lever to revolve the fireplace. Afterward, Globgor descends and lies down.
Globgor	[groans]
River	Globgor, you poor man. Here, take my beard meat.
Eddie	Hey, now! This guy's a vegetarian, remember?
River	You expect me to give him a salad when you've been sitting in it all day?
	Scene cuts to a muddy forest, where Star, Marco, Moon, and Eclipsa fall through a portal.
Star, Marco, Moon, and Eclipsa	[grunting, groaning]
Star	[sighs]
Marco	[groans] What happened?
Hekapoo	I saved your butts. So, you're welcome.