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Scene opens outside Pony Head's cloud castle home. Star Butterfly is outside at its gate. She's holding a casserole dish in her hands, and she's wearing a mushroom headband instead of her usual devil horns.
Star Hmm. [pause] Is this the doorbell or...
Star pushes a button, causing a buzzer to go off along with horse neighing noises.
Star Oh, what did I do?
Pony Head (via speaker) What are you doing?
Star Uh, I–I'm sorry. I just rang the doorbell.
Pony Head (speaker) That's not a doorbell. I'll come down and get you.
Scene changes to the front door. Pony Head opens it.
Pony Head Oh my gosh, Star!
Star Pony Head! Good to see you, girl. Check out what I brought.
Pony Head Oh, my goodness! That is the finest casserole I have ever seen, girl. Hmm, maybe this night might not be a total disaster after all.
Star [laughs] Right! Wait, what?
Pony Head walks Star inside.
Pony Head I've been trying to spare you from my sisters, I really have, but at this point, I need back-up.
Star What? They've always been so nice to me.
Pony Head You do not know them like I do, Star. They're like peanut butter and jealous. They have been trying to take me down for years, all because I'm next in line for the throne. Not to mention that I'm so beautiful and talented and humble.
Star Oh, Pony Head. I'm sure they're not that bad.
Pony Head Star, look at me. They are long-faced, two-faced monsters.
The two arrive at the dining room.
Pony Head All right, listen up, people. Okay, my friend Star is here for our meal, and we are going to act like normal, like a not, like a normal family that spends time together. Like normal.
Azniss has a fork in her mouth with which she's scraping the wooden table.
Pony Head Hey, Azniss. No. Okay, that is not normal. This is what I'm talking about, people.
Star Oh, no, it's fine. You guys don't have to do anything special for me. Just... act like I'm not even here.
Azniss growls and continues to scrap the table.
Star [whispers] Hey, Pony Head, I forgot everyone's names.
Pony Head [to everyone] Oh hey, Star forgot y'all's names.
Hornanne Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh! Roll call!
Pony Head No! Oh, no!
Baby Pranciss [singing] Baby Pranciss.
Hornanne [singing] Hornanne.
Jan-Jan [singing] Jan-Jan.
Pamanda [singing] Pamanda.
Khrysthalle [singing] Khrysthalle.
Angel [singing] Angel.
Azniss [singing] Azniss.
Pony Head No! Get back to the table right now! You don't introduce yourselves with a musical number. You say your name. Just say your name. Where are the twins? Shonda and Shinda.
The two poke their heads up from the couch.
Shonda and Shinda [creepily] Yes?
Pony Head Get your creepy selves over here. You guys are so weird. Ugh! Are we ready to eat?
King Pony Head Food?
Pony Head Yes, Daddy, it's time to eat. Get down here.
King Pony Head laughs as he slides down the bannister, crashing right next to the table.
King Pony Head [bellowing] Fooooood!!
As he bellows, troughs fall on to the table filled with pink goop, pizza, french fries, hot dogs, cookies, cupcakes, and other items.
King Pony Head Well, dig in.
They all start to eat except for Star, who's staring blankly.
Star [chuckles nervously] Uh, hey Pony Head, is it okay if I skip the trough, and... and eat this cupcake that's on a plate here?
Khrysthalle Yeah, that's Teta's plate. She ran off. We always make a plate for her, in the hopes that she'll come back one day. I hope she's not prettier than me, though.
Pony Head Oh she probably ran off because she can't stand your sorry butts, okay?
Azniss She ran off because you're always throwing her shade, Pony Head.
Pony Head She's always throwing me shade by doing her homework and then being, like, "Oh, I'm gonna donate to charity." You know what I mean? Like, that's very rude.
Music starts playing.
Shonda and Shinda (via phonography) [singing] When you look at your twin, it is like you looking back at you...
Pony Head Shonda and Shinda, what are you doing?
Shonda and Shinda We wanted to play some of our original music for Star.
Pony Head Nobody wants to hear your creepy singing except for dead people. Are we at a haunted house? [to Star] See what I mean?
Star I don't know, I think it's kinda sweet.
Baby Pranciss I miss Teta!
Pony Head How do you even know who Teta is? You were a zygote when she disappeared.
Angel Not cool, Pony Head.
Pamanda That's really mean.
Others at the table also complain about Pony Head's statement.
King Pony Head Now, now, girls, settle down. [slurps from his mug]
Pony Head I'm sorry you all can't handle how on point I am right now. [to Star] Can't trust anyone in this house. [flies away] Not even my best friend.
Star He-heh, I'm just gonna go check on her.
Star heads to Pony Head's room and enters.
Star Knock, knock. Can I come in?
Pony Head eats some food and belches loudly.
Star So... I'm really sorry you felt ganged-up on down there, but uh, you gotta admit, you were being a little intense, right?
Pony Head continues to ignore Star. She puts on some head phones and beat boxes to the music.
Star Hey, Pony Head. [takes off her headphones] Guess what's in the casserole...
Pony Head flies over to her closet.
Star ...that I made?
Pony Head puts on some funny clothes which Star laughs at, then silence.
Star Just take a wild guess. [silence] Nah, All right, I'll just tell you. It is [whispering] gingerbread and ice cream.
Pony Head [yelling] Why don't you go eat it with my sisters since you think they're so great?
Star Ugh! Fine.
Star stomps out and slams the door. She joins the others to eat and even manages to take a bite of the pink goop.
Baby Pranciss This casserole is delicious, Star.
Star Yeah, I know.
Baby Pranciss Was Pony Head mean to you, too?
Star [gulps] I don't get it. It's seems like she just flipped out of nowhere.
Pamanda [sighs] Don't beat yourself up about it.
Azniss She's like that all the time. You haven't picked up on that yet?
Star I guess she can sometimes be a little–
Khrysthalle Bit of a party pooper? We know.
Baby Pranciss She's pooped on our parties more times than I can even count. And then, she makes fun of me 'cause I don't know all of my numbers yet. [whimpers]
Star You poor thing!
Baby Pranciss And guess who's developed a complex?
Star Uh...
Whistine All of us. We all did. She messed us up real good.
Khrysthalle It's true. Because of Pony Head's attitude, I became terribly insecure, and now, I have to compensate by putting all of my self-worth into my jaw-dropping beauty. [sobbing] It's real hard, you guys, and I do it every day. Every day.
Star I've never known Pony Head to be so horrible.
Shonda and Shinda But at least we have each other.
Azniss Yeah, we don't need no stinkin' Pony Head to have a good time. We can show you how a real pony head parties.
Some music starts playing. Scene changes to after dinner; all the pony heads are styling each other's manes as well as Star's hair.
Baby Pranciss Now you look fierce.
Star Thanks, Pranciss.
Jan-Jan Yo, Star, check this out.
Jan-Jan knocks her glasses off her head and onto her face.
Star Oh, cool. Fun tricks.
Star then does the same with her headband.
Star Huh? What do you think?
Jan-Jan I wasn't done.
She then groans as she flips herself inside out, ending up upside-down.
Star I'm not sure what just happened there.
Baby Pranciss You should be honored. She only does that for her sisters.
Khrysthalle Heh. You're, you're totally like one of the family now.
Star I am?
All Absolutely.
Star [gasps] Oh, yay! I've always wanted sisters.
Whistine You know what's the most awesomest thing about having sisters?
Star Arguing over the remote?
Azniss That's a good guess, but it's actually [whispering] THE SECRETS. Do you like secrets?
Star Usually.
Azniss Do you like projects?
Star [hesitantly] Yes.
Azniss Cool, 'cause we've got this super secret project we've been working on, and we'd love to get your thoughts on it.
Star Sweet!
Azniss sticks her tongue on a scanner and opens up a locked drawer. She grabs a folder with the title "Top Secret" and hands it to Star.
Azniss Check it out.
Star looks through it.
Star Wait. "Teta on Ice?" I thought Teta ran off.
Azniss Oh, baby, we're hatching a plot to depose Pony Head as heir to the throne.
Star [shocked, then giggles] Nah. [laughs]
Azniss Yeah. [laughs].
Khrysthalle You saw how she is. She's unfit to lead.
Pamanda Yeah, [opens law book] look, we've got it all figured out.
Azniss Pony Law states that if a pony princess puts one of her sisters [emphasizing] ON ICE, she can never be queen.
Jan-Jan So we're putting Teta on ice, and framing Pony Head for it.
Star On ice? Well that sounds fun.
Azniss No, no, no, no, no, honey. We mean...
All On ICCCCCCCCCCCCCCE.
Star [whispering] Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, you guys, ice is supposed to be cool, and what you're talking about is bad ice.
Baby Pranciss Not really. We're just gonna pretend Teta's on ice.
Jan-Jan Ain't that right, Teta?
Camera quickly jumps to the closet, where a pair of eyes is looking out.
Teta Yep. They got a new life set up for me and everything. I'll have a mustache!
Azniss What you think, Star?
Star I got... a lot of questions. I know Pony Head has got some issues, but don't you think maybe framing her is a bit much?
Khrysthalle Ugh, everyone knows Pony would be the worst queen ever. She just won't admit it to herself.
Azniss This way, the right pony gets to inherit the throne. [leaps over to a crest with battle axes screaming] Me!!
Khrysthalle Wait a minute... who said you were gonna be queen?
Pamanda Yeah, I thought I was gonna be queen.
Azniss and Khrysthalle Pamanda, really?
Pamanda [reads law book] No, you're right.
Jan-Jan Uh, I should be queen.
Hornanne No, I should be queen. I'm perfect.
Angel No, I should be queen.
Teta I think I'd do a good job.
Azniss That makes no sense. You're supposed to be dead.
Pamanda We talked about this...
Star starts backing away from them all, but bumps into the twins.
Shonda and Shinda Where are you off to in such a hurry?
Star Oh, oh, oh. Oh me, me?
Azniss You weren't planning on telling Pony Head now, were you?
Star [gasps] No! Of course not. Never. No.
Azniss 'Cause, uh, we can't allow you to snitch, sugar booger. [laughs] You're one of us now... sister.
The whole family glares at Star.
Baby Pranciss [raising an axe] And if you betray your sisters, you're gonna get disappeared, too. Just like Teta.
Pony Head whinnies loudly. She's looking in through the doorway.
Pony Head Bam! You are busted!
Pony Head smashes a book case and a cloud lamp.
Star Pony, what is going on?
Pony Head Star, you beautiful angel, I am so sorry you've been put through this trauma, girl. I knew these no-class-having wannabe queens were up to somethin'; I just didn't know what. And, now I have it all on video.
She spits out her phone on her tongue while it plays a video of Azniss confessing.
Azniss (phone) This way, the right pony gets to inherit the throne.
Star Okay, thanks for having me. Because I definitely feel like I've been had.
Star walks out. Scene changes to the front door of the house.
Star Oh, unbelievable.
Pony Head Yeah, so anyway, thank you, Star for coming over. I know you probably feel used, but I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you so much.
Star What, are you kidding? Pony Head, this is one of the most stressful experiences of my already very intense life.
Pony Head I'm sorry. My sisters are totally insane.
Star [laughs] Oh, totally insane.
Pony Head Whoa, hold up. You cannot just be sitting up here talking about my sisters like that.
Star You–you just said it yourself.
Pony Head Star, I love my sisters. We do this every meal.
Star I guess I just don't get the whole sister thing.
Pony Head You have one of the best sisters a girl could ever need, 'cause you got me, B-fly, ha ha.
Pony Head moves to hug Star and kisses her. Star hugs her back.
Star Aww, girl.
King Pony Head Star, you weren't trying to leave without saying good-bye, were you? [whispers] Take me with you.
Star drifts out through the gates riding her cloudy charm.
All Bye Star!
Star Bye-bye
(end song)
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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