Princess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic Bell/Transcript

	(theme song)
	Episode begins in a cemetery in an unknown dimension.
Quasar Caterpillar	(o.s) Look, Hannah! Something's happening!
	Princess Quasar Caterpillar—a dark-skinned girl with planetoid-shaped cheek marks—and her friend Hannah—who looks just like Janna, except she's a cyclops—stand in the middle of the cemetery.
Hannah	Whoa. I told you it would work, Quasar.
	Shmarmo—a teenage boy wearing a brown tuxedo and a bubble around his head—and Skackie—a teenage robot girl—arrive on a hoverboard.
Shmarmo	Ayyy, what's shakin', ladies?
Quasar	Shmarmo, Skackie, come check this out!
	The wind blows out the candles in the seance circle that Quasar and Hannah set up. A birthday cake in the center of the circle reads "WELCOME BACK NOB NOB". The wind blows out more candles on Nob Nob's grave.
Hannah	It's happening!
Shmarmo	W-W-What's happenin'?
	The candles reignite, and something rises up from behind the gravestone.
Hannah	Nob Nob, you came back!
	Ludo appears in the same clown costume he wore in "Bon Bon the Birthday Clown.
Hannah	Oh, that explosion did a real number on your face.
Ludo	[cackles] Surprise!
	Ludo comes out from behind the gravestone standing on top of Flying Fish and Lobster.
Quasar	Ludo?!
Ludo	Miss me, Princess? Hand over the wand!
Shmarmo	W-W-What wand?
Lobster	Uh, I think you meant to say "bell".
Ludo	Bell! Did I say wand? I meant to say bell!
Quasar	I'm never handing over my magic bell, not over Shmarmo's dead body!
Shmarmo	Ay, what the heck, Quasar?!
Skackie	[robot voice] My hero.
Ludo	All right! Flying Fish, fly me over to that wand— uh, uh, b-bell! Bell! I said bell!
Indexia	[Russian accent] No, Ludo. You definitely said wand, and this is a bell.
Ludo	All right, all right! Just fly me over there this instant!
Flying Fish	[gasping for air]
Ludo	W-What's going on?
	Flying Fish flops over onto the ground, tossing Ludo into a shallow grave.
Ludo	[groans] Wait. [sees the magic bell] Well, hello there.
Quasar	[picks up bell] I think you meant "goodbye"! [rings bell]
Indexia	Good one, Quasar!
	Ludo is covered in a blue aura as he levitates off the ground.
Ludo	Oh! No, wait! Please! Please have mercy on me! I would have mercy on you!
	A dimensional portal opens behind Ludo.
Quasar	Elevato!
	Quasar hurls Ludo into the dimensional void.
Ludo	[screams]
	Chopin's "Nocturne, Op. 9, No. 2" plays as Ludo drifts through the void.
Ludo	[voiceover] Well, I've done it again. After all of the work I've done on myself, I'm back to the same old pattern of coveting magical objects, but never getting them.
	Ludo is hit by a flaming green projectile. He screams while being thrown into another portal, dumping him back at his home on an asteroid. He falls into a pile of trash.
Ludo	[sighs] What am I doing with my life? Is that wand the only thing that I care for?
Dennis	(o.s.) Ludo!
Ludo	[sees Dennis standing over him] Dennis?! Dennis! [hugs Dennis] Oh, how I've missed you, my brother!
Dennis	And look who else is here!
	Screen pans over to Bird and Spider.
Ludo	Spider! [hugs Spider] Oh, it's so good to see you! [looks at Bird] And... uh, whoever this is. What are you all doing here?
Dennis	We came to surprise you, but you weren't around. What were you doing?
Ludo	Oh, [laughs] it doesn't matter, because I am done with all of that now. The important thing is that you're here, and I'm surprised.
Dennis	Well, there's actually more to the surprise. [holding dimensional scissors]
	Scene cuts to Mewni; Ludo, Dennis, Bird, and Spider come out of a portal, and Ludo is wearing a blindfold.
Ludo	Oh, this is so exciting! Ooh! I'm gonna peek! I'm gonna peek! No, no, I shouldn't. Oh, Dennis, can I take off the blindfold, please?
Dennis	You're the one who put it on.
Ludo	Ooh! I just can't wait anymore!
	Ludo takes off the blindfold, and his smile disappears when he sees Castle Avarius, which is undergoing reconstruction.
Dennis	Surprise!
Ludo	C-C-Castle Avarius.
Dennis	I moved out of Mom and Dad's, spent my entire savings, and bought our home back. I even got the deed!
Ludo	Dennis... I'm going to leave now. [puts blindfold back on and walks away]
Dennis	What's wrong?
Ludo	I've been trying to move away from my past, and that castle is the worst reminder of it! Spider, let's get out of here.
	Ludo is sitting on a large rock. He falls off and hits his head on a smaller rock. Bird picks him up in her beak.
Dennis	I know there's a lot of bad memories here, but I wanna make new ones. And I wanna make them with you.
Ludo	[takes blindfold off] Fine. For you.
Dennis	Great! Now let's rebuild our home! [runs to the castle]
Ludo	[groans]
	Ludo gives Dennis a tour of the castle.
Dennis	Oh, whoa. What was in here?
Ludo	We didn't have a proper name for it, but this was my scheming room.
	The room is an old bathroom with an elevated toilet. Bird perches on top of the toilet and sticks her head in the water.
Ludo	I first schemed up my plan for stealing the wand here. That was an exciting day.
Dennis	Ludo! What was over here?
Ludo	Oh, this was my bedroom. This is where I'd have beautiful dreams about getting that wand. ...But, no, no! T-That's a long time ago.
Dennis	Hey, I found it! [holding a monster horn] You're gonna love this.
	Dennis reassembles Ludo's old throne.
Dennis	Ta-da!
Ludo	Ah... wha...?
Dennis	It's your throne! Huh?
Ludo	Technically, it's a swivel chair.
Dennis	Well, go ahead. Have a seat.
Ludo	Oh, no, thank you.
Dennis	Come on, Ludo.
Ludo	I-I'd better not.
Dennis	[pats chair cushion] It's super comfortable.
Ludo	Can I just say no and you be okay with that?
Dennis	But I put this back together just for you.
Ludo	[sighs] Well... I-I suppose one quick sit-down wouldn't hurt. All right, well, I'll just, uh, rest my little tushy on this cushie.
	Ludo lifts himself up onto the chair, but he holds himself up by the armrests so his butt doesn't touch the cushion.
Ludo	[straining] Ooh, it's comfy! [chuckles]
Dennis	[pushes Ludo down onto the cushion] Ahhh!
Ludo	[groaning]
Dennis	So, what do you think?
Ludo	This feels better than I'd like it to.
Dennis	All right, our workers should be here any minute.
Ludo	W-Workers?
Bearicorn	Right here, boss!
	Bearicorn, Big Chicken, Spikeballs, Man Arm, the unnamed giraffe monster, and unnamed bat monster appear.
Ludo	Oh, no...
Dennis	I hired some of the local monsters to help you out. Consider them your henchmen.
Bearicorn	Yeah, just like old times, boss!
Big Chicken	[squawks]
Dennis	All right, I'm gonna go run to the Corn Mart and get some tools. Don't rebuild the whole place without me.
	Ludo's monsters start clearing the castle rubble.
Bearicorn	[holding an iron maiden torture device] Hey, boss, this is pretty weird, right? All of us together. [laughs]
Ludo	Just shut up and put that thing in the corner!
Bearicorn	[carts iron maiden away] Yup, that's the boss I know. [puts iron maiden next to a door] Ooh, perfect.
	The giraffe monster comes through the door, pushing Bearicorn into the iron maiden, and it closes on him.
Giraffe Monster	Boss! Look what I found! Ungh! [breaks door frame] Your mini portal maker!
Ludo	[gasps]
Giraffe	[sticks hand inside portal maker] Remember when we tried stealing the wand with this thing?
Ludo	No, I-I don't remember any wand! [turns away]
Giraffe	[picks his nose, laughs] C'mon, boss, you can't forget the wand!
Bearicorn	Yeah! Isn't that why we're back here? So we can take the wand from Eclipsa?
Ludo	E-Eclipsa has the wand? I thought she was dead.
Man Arm	Y'know, I bet the boss is gonna make Eclipsa fall in love with him and earn the wand through marriage. He's single, she's single. It's obvi.
Bearicorn and Giraffe	A wedding! A wedding!
Ludo	That's not what I'd do.
Spikeballs	No, boss is gonna break into the Monster Temple and take the wand by force.
Ludo	[clawing armrests] The wand is in the Monster Temple? I know that place like the back of my hand.
Spikeballs	I'm tellin' you, we're taking it by force.
Giraffe	No, he's gonna steal it by marriage! Betrothal!
Bearicorn	(o.s.) Yeah, that's how the boss is gonna steal the wand!
Ludo	[breathing heavily, growling] No, you idiots! That's not how I'd do it! I'd sacrifice all of you as a diversion, and while the guards are busy with you, I'd sneak up to her room, incapacitate her while she's still asleep, and then I'd take what's always been mine! The wand!
Dennis	(o.s.) Ludo!
	Dennis returns holding bags of cement.
Dennis	I only left for five minutes, and you're scheming behind my back!
Ludo	Well, what did you expect?! I've been trying to change, but, oh, we had to rebuild the castle! Well, you know what? I HATE THIS CASTLE!
Dennis	It's not the castle. It's you! I think you should leave, Ludo.
Ludo	Dennis...
Evil J. LandBaron III	Pardon me. Sorry for interrupting this tender moment, but I think y'all should leave.
Ludo	Who is that man?
Dennis	Um, he's the land baron who sold me the castle. But I don't know what he's talking about.
LandBaron	[chuckles] Well, I might not have been clear. You recognize this here contract ya signed? Maybe you could tell me what this here line says.
Dennis	Well, I can't quite make it out without my glasses.
LandBaron	Now, that's funny. On account that you weren't wearing glasses when you signed this.
Ludo	Dennis, why weren't you wearing your glasses when you signed this very important contract?
Dennis	They don't look cool.
LandBaron	[to Ludo] How 'bout you take a stab at this, li'l fella?
Ludo	Mmm... [reading] "I, the undersigned, do hereby surrender all of my money and promise to rebuild the property to its former specifications; and upon completion of said construction, do agree to surrender, in perpetuity, all right of ownership over said property to the previous lienholder, one Evil J. LandBaron III. Signed, Dennis Avarius." Dennis, you just signed away our entire family fortune and our ancestral home to this... rat!
Dennis	I didn't know. I guess I just never expected to be double-crossed. I just like to hope for the best in people.
LandBaron	[laughs] Well, let me know how that works out for ya! [laughing, walks away] "The best in people!" Ho-ho! Hoo-whee!
Dennis	He's right. I try to live an honest life, but I guess this is just a dishonest world. [walks away]
Ludo	Dennis, I'm trying to change! [grabs Dennis's arm]
Dennis	Well, maybe you don't need to change! Go ahead! Keep scheming! Steal the wand! I can see it's the only thing in the world you care about!
	Dennis runs away, and Ludo falls face-first in the dirt. Ludo picks himself back up.
Bearicorn	So what do we do now, boss?
Ludo	I'm going to take back what's mine.
	Scene cuts to LandBaron's castle bedroom. Ludo puts on his skull helmet.
Ludo	You're probably wondering who I am. So let me introduce myself. I have waged a war on the Butterfly family for years. I burned the Magic Book of Spells to ashes. I fused with the most powerful relic in existence. I amassed an army large enough to conquer this wretched land.
Bird	[screeches]
Ludo	I'm Ludo Avarius! And you have my wand!
LandBaron	[trapped in spiderweb] What are you talkin' about? I-I don't have no wand!
Ludo	Oh. Sorry. I want the deed to our castle. Whoopsies.
LandBaron	Y'all are crazy!
Ludo	No. I just love my brother. But I'll do crazy things to protect him. [pokes LandBaron's nose] Boop.
	Cut to exterior of LandBaron's castle. LandBaron screams in agony off-screen, and Ludo cackles. Scene cuts again to Dennis wearing a blindfold.
Dennis	Ah! Ah! Where am I?
Ludo	(o.s.) Take off your blindfold.
Dennis	[takes off blindfold]
Ludo	Surprise!
	Ludo presents Castle Avarius to Dennis. Some of their brothers and sisters are helping with the reconstruction.
Dennis	Wait. Yudo? Dudo? Kudo? Mudo? Tudo? Fudo? Zudo? Even Menudo! But the baron! The deed!
Ludo	Let's say his heart is in a better place now.
	Bird coughs up LandBaron's gold necklace.
Ludo	(o.s.) Think fast!
	Dennis catches a basketball that Ludo throws at him. Ludo is standing on a basketball court.
Ludo	[chuckles] This isn't Mom and Dad's castle anymore.
Dennis	It's ours, isn't it? [throws basketball back to Ludo]
Ludo	[laughing]
	Ludo dribbles the ball down the court. He jumps into the air, and Dennis carries him to the hoop to do a slam dunk.
Dennis	Yahoo! [laughs]
Ludo	I did it! We did it!
	A scoreboard reads "Ludo - 00; The Forces of Evil - 00". The "00" under Ludo's name changes to "01", and a buzzer sounds.