Episode begins at the Monster Temple; Archibald flies to Eclipsa's bedroom carrying a tray of tea. | |
Archibald | [knocks on door] Your Majesty, I have your morning tea. [knocks on door again] Your Majesty? Queen Eclipsa? [opens door, deep gasp] |
Scene cuts to temple exterior as Archibald loudly wails off-screen. Cut back to Eclipsa's room; the room is a complete mess, and purple writing on the wall reads "MISSING SOMETHING? HA! HA! HA!" | |
Star Butterfly | Oh, no. This is bad. This is really, really bad. |
Janna Ordonia | Who's even powerful enough to queen-nap Eclipsa? |
Star | I don't know! The Magical High Commission, maybe? Or, uh... [stutters] |
The bedroom door opens, and the mail delivery demon holds out a handful of envelopes. | |
Mail Monster | It's just the mail! Please don't hurt me! |
Marco Diaz | [takes mail] We'll see about that. |
Star | Oh! Maybe the queen-nappers left us a message? [sighs, tosses "SALE! 40%" letter] Junk. [tosses "Gothic Doilies for Every Season" letter] Junk. [holds bill from "Reflectacorp Global Billing"] Hey! A bill from Seahorse? |
Pony Head | Well, all that stuff you vanished on my show was not free. |
Star | [folds up bill and puts it on her pocket] All right. Looks like this is a dead end. |
Pony Head | Don't worry, B-Fly, I got you. I watch a lot of true-crime shows, so I'm basically a detective. Ooh! We're gonna gather clues and probably chase people down. And, oh! We'll have a super dramatic showdown in, like, an old warehouse or something like— |
Star | [casts All-Seeing Eye spell] No, we don't have time for that. |
Pony Head | Oh, okay. Well, fine, then. That's fine, if you want to be basic about it. |
Star uses the All-Seeing Eye to locate Eclipsa, who is tied to a chair with a three-eyed octopus-like mask on her face and surrounded by flames. | |
Star | [gasps] |
Janna | Whoa. That's the creepiest thing I've ever seen. [takes picture with her phone] |
Star | Okay, okay. Where are you? |
Star widens the Seeing Eye's view; Eclipsa is surrounded by floating figures in black cloaks and skull masks. | |
Masked Figure 1 | Who dares to spy on us?! |
Star | Aah! Who are you, and what do you want? |
Masked Figure 1 | We are the Inner Circle. |
Masked Figure 2 | We require one thousand pounds of gold before midnight! |
Masked Figure 1 | If you ever want to see your queen again. |
Star | Oh, yeah? Well, I— |
Masked Figure 2 | Silence! If you keep using that infernal spying spell, we'll toss your queen into the fire! Now, close this portal and get that gold! |
Star | [closes All-Seeing Eye] Okay, well... Let's keep this under wraps for now. If the townsfolk find out about this, we could have a serious panic on our hands. |
Pony Head | Right, right-right-right-right-right. But what if, let's just say maybe, hypothetically, they already know? |
Star | What?! How?! |
Pony Head | Status update. |
Pony Head shows her mirror phone, which shows a picture of Eclipsa and a caption reading, "QUEEN-NAPPED! Smiley face if you want her back. lol" | |
Star | Ohhhh, right. Then I guess we'd better make an announcement. |
Scene cuts to New Monstertown. A crowd of Mewmans and monsters is gathered in front of a stage. Star, Marco, Janna, and Pony Head stand on top of the stage. | |
Star | Thank you, everyone, for coming. First, I would like to announce that, yes, the rumors are technically true. Queen Eclipsa has been queen-napped. |
Crowd | [whispering] |
Man 1 | Who's Queen Eclipsa? |
Star | But don't worry. We are going to find Eclipsa and bring her back safely. |
Man 2 | Yeah, I have a question. How bad should I feel about this? Because I do not feel bad right now. |
Woman | Yeah, who even likes Eclipsa? |
Man 3 | Not me. |
Star | Uh, but, uh... |
Pony Head | But if we don't find her in three hours, she's gonna die! |
Crowd | [gasps] |
Star | Pony, what is wrong with you?! Why would you say that?! |
Pony Head | We need to keep the stakes really high to get people invested. Why do you think I'm posting updates every five minutes? I'm keeping it fresh. |
Star | [groans] |
Pony Head | Why don't we go to that park where all the hot bad boys in leather jackets hang out with each other? You know what I mean? I bet that they can hook us up with some clues. |
Janna | [holding her phone with photo of Eclipsa on it] No need, my dudes. I've got our first clue right here. |
Scene cuts to the Underworld; several geysers spew hot lava. Star, Marco, Janna, and Pony Head fly through the sky on the backs of dragons. | |
Star | All right, anyone see anything yet? |
Pony Head | No, because this is a stupid waste of time, okay? Janna just wanted us to go to the Underworld. |
Janna | Uh, no. We came here because these fires look just like the ones we saw in the All-Seeing Eye. Not that I mind the view. |
Pony Head | Yeah, well, there are no hot bad boys here, so I don't really know what I'm supposed to take a photo of. Yo, Earth Turd! Look cool! |
Marco | Huh? |
The dragon that Marco is riding suddenly sprays slime all over him from one of the boils on its back. | |
Marco | [exclaims] |
Pony Head | Hmm. Okay, so maybe this was not a complete waste of time. |
Star's phone vibrates in her pocket. She takes it out and opens it. | |
Star | Guys, I think I just got a message from our queen-nappers. |
Star's phone shows Eclipsa still tied to a chair and surrounded by the Inner Circle, but in a place that's dark and cloudy. | |
Marco | (o.s.) Wait, that doesn't look like the Underworld. |
Janna | Where did the fire go? |
Star | I don't know. [gasps] Maybe they changed locations after I spied on them. [reading] "If you're going to try searching, you'd have better luck in the place where people lie but don't speak!!!" That must be... |
Pony Head and Janna | A graveyard! |
Marco | A mattress store! |
Pony Head and Janna | [looks at Marco] |
Marco | What? That's an option, too. |
Scene cuts to Star and her friends walking through a graveyard. | |
Pony Head | Okay, yes! A spooky graveyard. A full moon. This is the cool detective stuff I signed up for. |
Star | We're not trying to be cool detectives, Pony. This is serious. |
An arrow with a rolled-up scroll on it suddenly flies into a tree between Star and Marco. | |
Star and Marco | [gasps] |
They look at the person who fired the arrow: a short, cloaked figure holding a bow. The cloaked figure runs away. | |
Marco | Hey, come back here! |
Star and Marco chase the cloaked figure. | |
Pony Head | Ooh, a graveyard chase! I am so live-streaming this! |
Janna and Pony Head follow after Star and Marco. | |
Star | Rainbow Avalanche! |
Star fires waterfalls of rainbow-colored light at the cloaked figure, but they dodge and keep running. | |
Marco | I got this! |
Marco tackles the cloaked figure to the ground and pins them against a tombstone. | |
Marco | [holding up a karate hand] Who sent you?! |
Pony Head | Wait! Hold that pose! |
Marco | We're kind of in the middle of something here. |
Pony Head | Documentation is important, okay? So do that pose again like you're gonna chop his head off. And now move your arm up. |
Marco | [raises his arm] |
Pony Head | (o.s) Now make that super growly face. |
Marco | Pony— |
Pony Head | (o.s) Just do it! |
Marco | [growls] |
Pony Head | [takes picture of Marco] Yes! Work it, Princess! |
Pony Head posts the picture to her social media with the caption "SLAY" on it. | |
Pony Head | Thank you, Earth Turd. You may proceed. |
Marco | Now, who are you—? |
Marco pulls back the cloaked figure's hood to reveal Babs. | |
Marco | Babs? |
Babs | [coughs on Marco] Sorry. Bronchitis. |
Marco | Who sent you? Why were you trying to assassinate us? |
Babs | The Assassin's Guild doesn't just do assassinations. We also do spying, death threats, RANSOM ARROWS... |
Janna | [holding the arrow] Oh, you mean like this? |
Janna unrolls the scroll attached to the arrow. A picture on it shows Eclipsa still tied to a chair and a shark swimming around her head. | |
Star | [reads] "I watch you from the water but I never get wet!!!" |
Janna | Well, that's definitely not the graveyard. |
Star | Ugh! How are they always one step ahead of us?! |
Scene cuts to Star and her friends standing on a beach. | |
Pony Head | I don't know about this, Star. Why would the merpeople have a shark in a tank? |
Star | Pony, the shark isn't in the tank. Eclipsa is. |
Pony Head | That sounds like kind of a stretch to me. |
Star | It was all I could think of, okay? Right now, it's our best bet to finding Eclipsa. |
A merboy and mergirl appear. | |
Merboy | Eclipsa? Is she okay? |
Mergirl | Have you found her yet? |
Star | No, not yet. We're still investigating some leads. |
Mergirl | Well, don't give up. We're rooting for you. I mean, don't get me wrong. I still hate Eclipsa. But I'm kinda invested in the story at this point. |
Merboy | Yeah, Pony. Your live-stream is super addicting! |
Pony Head | My whole life is very addicting. |
Star | Pony, you can't just broadcast our every move to the whole world. That's probably how the queen-nappers keep outsmarting us. |
Pony Head | I'm just giving the people what they want. |
Star | [groans] |
Star picks up a conch shell and blows into it, releasing a loud, deep, bellowing sound. Prince Larry Kelpbottom rises out of the water and kneels before Star. | |
Larry Kelpbottom | You summoned me, Miss Butterfly? |
Star | Larry Kelpbottom! Just the fish-man I wanted to see. I'm on to your little tricks. Where are you hiding her? |
Larry | Hiding who? |
Star | Oh, don't play dumb. Your family never liked Eclipsa, did they? |
Larry | W-What? |
Star | It has to be you! 'Cause... if it's not you, I don't know what to do anymore. |
Larry | Are you okay? |
Merboy | Whoa. Star is losing it! |
Pony Head | Oh, boy, boy, boy, boy. You need to dial it back, girl. You can't lose your head over this. Look at yourself! |
Star looks at her reflection in the water. | |
Pony Head | (o.s.) This isn't who you are! |
Star | [sighs] You're right, Pony. I can't just lose... Wait a minute. "I watch you from the water, but I never get..." [exclaims] I was wrong! [gasps] Sorry, dude! [runs over to Marco and Janna] Guys, I figured out the riddle. The answer isn't the merpeople. It's your reflection. |
Marco | So Eclipsa is trapped in a mirror! |
Star | ...No. |
Star, Marco, Janna, and Pony Head fly through the sky on Cloudy's back. | |
Janna | So, where are we going? |
Star | Here. It's the bill from Reflectacorp. Tally it up. |
Janna | It's a thousand pounds of gold. That's... |
Marco | The exact same amount as the demand! |
Star | Uh-huh. Seahorse. He's the queen-napper. Reflection. Reflectacorp. This has to be it! |
Pony Head | How could Seahorse do such a thing? I mean, he did say that he was in trouble with Reflectacorp because of all the equipment that we destroyed. |
Janna | I don't know. This is still weird. If he wants the gold, why send all these clues leading us right to Eclipsa? |
Star | There it is! The abandoned Reflectacorp warehouse. |
Star and her friends fly down to the warehouse, and Star blasts through the wall. | |
Star and Marco | [shouts, gasps] |
They find Eclipsa tied to a chair with the octopus mask on her face. | |
Eclipsa | I must get out! |
Star and Marco | Eclipsa! |
Marco unties Eclipsa's ropes while Star pulls the mask off her face. | |
Star | Don't worry, Eclipsa! We will get you out of this thing! [grunting] |
The mask comes off Eclipsa's face with a "pop". | |
Eclipsa | [gasps] No! I almost had all 300 snarlblecks! |
Star | ...What? |
Seahorse | (o.s) Uh-oh. You seem confused. |
Seahorse appears from behind a curtain. | |
Seahorse | How about some help from your local Reflectacorp service provider? What you have there is Reflectacorp's first foray into biotech virtual reality. Eclipsa has been playing one of our hit games – Wizard Spaceship! |
A video game plays on the inside of the octopus mask. | |
Star | So this whole time, Eclipsa has just been sitting here playing video games? |
Seahorse | That is correct. |
Marco | What about those fire pits? And that shark tank? |
Seahorse | So glad you asked! Those stunning, hi-def environments were created using Reflectacorp's patented four-wall projector. Optional floor and ceiling units sold separately. |
Star | What about the Inner Circle? Are they fake too? |
The members of the Inner Circle appear to surround Star and her friends. | |
Masked Figure | Oh, we're very much real. [sinister laughter] |
The cloaked figures fly around and remove their disguises to reveal Pony Head's sisters Angel, Jan-Jan, Khrysthalle, Azniss, and Whistine. | |
Pony Sisters | Ta-da! |
Star | Pony Sisters? Okay, wait. If you're in on this and Seahorse is in on this... [gasps] Oh, no. |
Pony Head | [appears behind Star] Oh, ye-e-e-s-s! |
Star | Pony Head?! You're behind all this?! What—?! How could you?! |
Pony Head | Whoa! Ungrateful much? We put a lot of work into those riddles, you know? And of course there would have been way cleverer riddles if we started at the park with the hot boys in their leather jackets, okay? But noooo. No one wanted to listen to me, so... [blows raspberry, laughs] |
Star | But why?! You sent us on an emotional roller coaster, and you could have caused a riot on Mewni! |
Pony Head | Whaaaat? I was just keeping my promise to make Eclipsa super-popular. And the new queen-napping segment is totally blowing up right now. |
Star | Segment? |
Pony Head | That's right, girl! [chuckles] Seahorse, hit it! |
Seahorse turns on several spotlights, and a couple of video cameras roll in on tripods. | |
Star | Aah! |
Pony Head | Because you're still on... |
The Ponyhead Show theme song starts playing, and the Ponyhead Show logo appears on the wall projector. | |
Pony Head | ...The Ponyhead Show! |
Star | ...WHAT?! |
Pony Head | [floats next to Eclipsa, looks into the camera] Hi, pony fans! As you can see, I, Pony Head, used my super good detective skills to track down Eclipsa! Girl, how's it feel to be rescued by me? |
Eclipsa | What? |
Pony Head | [chuckles] I know, right? Then those evil queen-napper guys tried to ambush us, so I beat them up, and now they're going to jail! |
A cage suddenly falls on Pony Head's sisters. | |
Pony Head | [chuckles] Like for real, though. |
Azniss | We never discussed this! |
Pony Head | Oh, and Star was there too. Okay, smile for the camera, Star. |
Star | Pony, who is this even for? |
Seahorse | Our loyal content subscribers. They're watching the live feed on their Reflectacorp mirror phones. |
Some Mewmans and monsters appear on the wall projector, looking at their phones. | |
Monster | Whoa, there's Eclipsa! |
The wall projector changes to demons in the Underworld... | |
Demons | She's okay! |
...to merpeople on the beach. | |
Merpeople | Hey, Eclipsa's been rescued! |
Star | How did everyone find out about this? |
Pony Head | From my updates, B-Fly! |
The "QUEEN-NAPPED!" post on Pony Head's social media has 126 dislikes and 12,563 likes. The likes keep going up. | |
Pony Head | The Mewmans may hate Eclipsa, but there is no problem a good drama can't fix. |
Mewmans | [cheering] |
Monster | No one messes with our queen! |
Eclipsa walks up to the projector and bashfully waves to the viewers. | |
Viewers | Look, there she is! Hi, Eclipsa! I love you! I love you, Eclipsa! |
Star | Well, Pony Head, that was a totally awful thing to do. But you did somehow end up helping Eclipsa, so I can't really hold it against you. |
Pony Head | Yes! No consequences for Pony Head! |
Star | And at least I don't have to pay that huge Reflectacorp bill. |
Pony Head | Okay, no. That part was real. You have to pay that, or they'll find you. |
(end song) |
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Queen-Napped/Transcript
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