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(theme song)
Episode begins in Star's bedroom loft at the Monster Temple. Star looks deep in thought at the belongings in her room. Marco enters holding a doll's head and body.
Marco Diaz Hey, Star? Meteora keeps leaving these headless dolls in my bed, and I'm pretty sure this one has a mole. Oh! You brought your room back.
Star Butterfly Yup. [magically hangs Sea Captain's portrait]
Marco What happened to this being temporary?
Star It's still temporary. Just, uh, you know, a longer temporary than I thought.
Marco Oh, man. I don't wanna sleep in the dungeon alone.
Star Oh, don't worry. I gotcha.
Marco [gasps] Are you gonna do the thing?
Star I'm gonna do the thing.
Marco You're doing the thing!
Star [charges magic between her palms] I'm doing the thing! Sparkle Glitter Bomb Expand!
Marco's bedroom appears as an extension of Star's.
Star [gestures at bedroom door] After you.
Marco [enters his bedroom] Wow! I can't believe how much I missed all my stuff! Everything's here! [gasps] My favorite Mackie Hand poster! El Choppo! Looking good, buddy. [gasps] Ohhhh! The new line of Princess Turdina merch! [pulls Princess Turdina doll's string]
Princess Turdina doll Let's dismantle the patriarchy!
Marco Star, this is amazing.
Star [laughs] I know, but don't mention it.
A short telegram delivery monster appears at Marco's door out of breath.
Ransomgram Monster [panting] Whoo... Is this Marco Diaz's room?
Marco Yeah, that's me.
Ransomgram Monster Oh, thank goodness! I have been looking for Marco Diaz's room for months! [pants] I got a ransomgram for you.
Marco Uh, what?
Ransomgram Monster Uh, yeah. It's a ransomgram. You know, it's a funny little song about how somebody stole something you love, and they're holding it for ransom.
Marco W-Wha...?
Ransomgram Monster [singing and dancing]
♪ You stole our sword ♪
♪ So we stole your dragoncycle ♪
♪ So bring back the sword ♪
♪ And we'll return your dragoncycle ♪
♪ Sincerely, the Neverzonians! ♪
[panting] Finally. [poofs into thin air]
Marco Oh, my gosh! Nachos is in trouble! I gotta save her!
Star Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Where are you going?
Marco [wielding El Choppo] To the Neverzone! And then maybe to talk to Hekapoo about telling me when she loses my dragoncycle.
Star Wait. You're going to that weird future dimension where you're all buff and rugged? I am in!
Marco Uh... I don't know, Star. I went through some really tough times in that place. It's more treacherous than other dimensions.
Star Right. Right-right-right-right, yes, I see your point. But consider... Abs!
Marco Ugh. Okay, fine.
Cut to interior of the Afflicted Forest. Thunder crashes in the trees. A dimensional portal opens, and 30-year-old Marco steps through. His appearance is punctuated by bubbles and sparkles.
Star [wide-eyed and blushing] Abs Dimension...!
Adult Marco The Neverzone is on the other side of the Afflicted Forest. We'll never make it there on foot.
Star Oh! Summoning Cloudy Charm—!
Adult Marco No! We can't fly here. There's wild lightning roaming the trees.
Thunder crashes in the treetops again.
Star Yeah, that lightning looks pretty wild. [a fairy flutters up to her] Aww! Is that a fairy?
Adult Marco [squishes fairy between his hands]
Star [gasps] Marco Diaz!
Adult Marco The fairies here are just like mosquitoes. But they make a great summoning charm.
Marco rubs the fairy's blood on a tree. It and several other trees come to life and moan loudly.
Star Uh, Marco, what is going ooooon? Aah!
Lightning strikes a nearby crag, and an Amazon-like goddess with dreadlocks and holding a battle-axe appears on the back of a polar-bear like creature with horns.
Star [gasps deeply, wide-eyed and blushing] Whoa! She's so cool!
Adult Marco That's Brunzetta. We quested together for a while.
Star Oh-ho-ho. So, you mean quested or, like... "quested"?
Brunzetta (o.s.) Marco Diaz! [leaps from her mounted bear and lands near Star and Marco]
Star [giggles nervously]
Brunzetta As I live and breathe! [slaps Marco's back, laughs] Good to see you, old friend.
Star [gibbering]
Brunzetta Who's this?
Adult Marco Brunzetta, this is my best friend Star.
Brunzetta Ohhh! [laughs] Yammy here told me all about you.
Star Wait. "Yammy"?
Brunzetta Oh, one time, Marco insulted a necromancer's cooking. He got turned into a yam for a whole year.
Adult Marco [blushing] Brunzetta, now's not the time! We need a ride to the Neverzone.
Brunzetta Right. I heard those savages got Nachos. You gonna give them El Choppo?
Adult Marco What do you think?
Brunzetta punches Marco so hard, he falls over.
Brunzetta [laughs] Classic Yammy!
Star, Marco, and Brunzetta ride to the Neverzone on Brunzetta's bear. Star sits between Marco and Brunzetta and is enamored with both of them.
Brunzetta And then there was this time we fought a giant scorpion made entirely of skulls. I was just about to chop its head off when Yammy got the brilliant idea to light it on fire!
Adult Marco How was I supposed to know that fire makes it stronger?
Star Wow, Marco. You've never told me about any of these adventures.
Adult Marco It's not all adventure, Star. There's a lot I wanna forget, but I can never forget... the Neverzone.
They enter a snowy region and see the Neverzonians' castle in the distance. Star magically makes a winter outfit for herself.
Adult Marco I spent a whole year lost in this frozen wasteland. In all that time, those cruel Neverzonians sat in their glittering ice castle, never offering me so much as a blanket to warm my cold,

rippling deltoids.

Star Wow. You really have been through some tough times out here.
Adult Marco Finding El Choppo was the one happy moment in that whole dark, bleak chapter of my life. I won't let them take it away. [gasps]
Distant moaning is heard, and blue fog rises behind them.
Brunzetta It's not safe to linger here. We have to go. [whips leading straps] Hyah!
Star, Marco, and Brunzetta continue toward the Neverzone. Dozens of light blue eyes appear in the fog. In the Neverzone, every surface made of or covered in ice is melting. Castle spires lean left or right instead of standing up straight.
Star Wait a minute. Is this the glittering ice castle you were talking about? It's all melty.
Adult Marco I guess time really did a number on this place.
Fog surrounds Star, Marco, and Brunzetta, and ghostly figures appear through the fog.
Wraith [raspily] You brought the sword.
Adult Marco Where's Nachos?!
Wraith [raspily] The one you call "Nachos" will be returned when you release the Neverblade.
Adult Marco I'm not giving you anything until I see her!
The ghostly figures float to the side and reveal Nachos, chained up at the base of a statue and shivering from the cold.
Nachos [growls weakly]
Adult Marco Nachos! What did they do to you, girl?
Wraith [gestures at pedestal] Put our sword in here, and we will return your precious Nachos.
Adult Marco If you want El Choppo, you'll have to take it from me.
Wraith Very well.
Several Wraiths fly around the statue in a ring. Another appears close to the screen and snarls.
Adult Marco Hyah! [runs into battle with El Choppo]
Brunzetta Hyah! [leaps into battle with her axe]
Star [leaps into battle with her magic]
Brunzetta slams her axe into the ground, releasing a wave of electricity. When several Wraiths surround her, she horizontally slices through them.
Brunzetta Who's next?
Star [blushes, raises her hand] Can I be next? [Neverzonian flies past her] Aah! Oh, right. Narwhal Blast!
Star shoots narwhals at a Wraith, and it breathes green smoke in her face. Another Wraith rises up behind her and roars, and more Wraiths appear.
Star Aah! [fires Narwhal Blast]
Several Wraiths chase down Marco. He leaps forward and breaks Nachos' chain with El Choppo. He greets Nachos with a kiss, and Star appears in his shoulders.
Adult Marco Let's ride.
Brunzetta Right behind you! Hyah! [cuts down more Wraiths, laughs]
Star, Marco, Nachos, Brunzetta, and Brunzetta's bear retreat.
Star Whoo-hoo! We just escaped death!
Scene cuts to a campfire outside the Neverzone. Marco gives Nachos a bowl of food.
Adult Marco [laughs] Mmm. And then I said, "That's 'Nacho' (not your) bike."
Star Marco, we were there, and you never said that.
Adult Marco [laughing, sighs] Winning is great.
Brunzetta Indeed! Those Neverzonians deserve to have their castle melted every night.
Adult Marco They sure do— Wait. What are you talking about?
Brunzetta I thought you knew. When you stole the Neverblade, you freed a fire demon that's been terrorizing them for centuries.
Star You stole El Choppo?!
Adult Marco What? No! I didn't steal it. I... I found it. No one was using it. I-It was just stuck in an ancient statue very deliberately, and— [gasps] Oh, no. I totally stole it, didn't I? I have to go back.
Star What?! No! That place is horrible!
Within the Neverzone, the fire demon goes on a fire-breathing rampage. As the Neverzonians run around and scream in terror, the fire demon – which looks like a large, flaming warthog – roars and breathes fire everywhere. Star, Marco, and Brunzetta return to the statue.
Adult Marco Okay, this shouldn't take too long.
Fire Demon [jumps in front of Marco, roars]
Star Don't worry, Marco! I got this! [dodges fire demon's fire breath] Cupcake Blast!
Star shoots cupcakes at the demon and propels herself over it, but it breathes more fire and sends her flying backward into a wall. She collapses onto the ground.
Brunzetta Waah!
Brunzetta leaps from her bear's back and slams her axe down near the demon. She swings her axe and fires electric blasts at it. When it breathes fire on her at close range, she shields herself with an electric barrier.
Brunzetta Now, Yammy!
Adult Marco [runs toward the statue]
The fire demon jumps in front of Marco again and tackles him to the ground. El Choppo goes flying and lands near Star.
Star Huh?
Adult Marco Star, run!
Fire Demon [charges at Star]
Star Aah!
Star grabs El Choppo and runs to the edge of a chasm. As the fire demon closes in, Star launches herself into the air with magic, causing the demon to charge over the edge and down the deep chasm.
Fire Demon [shrieking, fades away]
There's a faint thud at the bottom of the chasm when the fire demon lands.
Star I helped!
Adult Marco Star, are you okay?
Star Uh, yeah! We defeated the beast!
Brunzetta [rubs Star's head] We sure did.
Star [blushes, giggles]
The ground rumbles, and the fire demon leaps out of the chasm to face Star, Marco, and Brunzetta again.
Star Hurry! Take El Choppo and run!
Brunzetta We'll handle this!
Adult Marco [runs up to statue] Oh, El Choppo. We've really had quite a run, haven't we, old friend? [sniffs] I remember this one time—
Star [blocking demon's fire breath] Marco, no time! Hurry up!
Brunzetta [blocking demon's fire breath] Seriously, dude?!
The fire demon burns through Star and Brunzetta's defenses and leaps at Marco.
Adult Marco Oh, right! [shouts]
Marco thrusts El Choppo into the statue's skull-shaped pedestal. Its eyes glow bright orange. Just before the fire demon reaches Marco, it gets sucked into the pedestal. The statue gives a smile and two thumbs up.
Adult Marco [sighs]
Brunzetta [laughs] I haven't seen a fight like that in ages.
Adult Marco Yeah, just like old times.
Brunzetta Indeed. Well, until we meet again, Yammy. [chuckles] Brunzettaaaaaaaaa, out! [vanishes in bolt of lightning]
Star Bye, Brunzetta! Please don't forget about me! [looks at Marco] What?
Wraiths [moaning]
Adult Marco The beast has been defeated! You can all finally relax.
Neverzonian 1 Took you long enough. That demon may be gone, but our castle is still a hot mess.
Neverzonian 2 [holding burnt carrots] My crops are all fried, man.
Star [huffs] Well, dang. Ungrateful. Come on, tough guy, let's go home. [takes Marco's dimensional scissors and opens portal]
Adult Marco [gives dragoncycle keys to Star] Here. Take these until I get back.
Star Back? Back from where?
Adult Marco I may have returned El Choppo, but that doesn't make up for the thousands of years of terror that I inflicted upon these poor creatures. I'm going to stay and help them rebuild their castle.
Star What? No, Marco. You don't have to do this. You're a good person. You just made a mistake.
Adult Marco I can't run from my misdeeds, Star. I must make right with these wraiths. Until then, I won't be right... with me.
Star [cries] Oh, Marco. You are, like... so hot right now!
Adult Marco [inhales] I know.
Marco shoves Star into the portal, and she returns to her bedroom. Nachos and Marco's keys come through after her, and the portal closes.
Star Oh, Nachos. I'm really gonna miss him.
Another portal opens, and Marco – back to his teenage form – comes through.
Marco [sighs] Whoo!
Star Marco!
Marco Star? Is that you? [sighs] It's been so long. But I have so much to tell you! The castle's all finished, I learned to speak Merman, I got my first gray hair, I taught a group of underprivileged gnomes how to dance—
Star [hugs Marco] Awww, welcome home, Yammy.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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