(theme song) | |
Episode begins in Star's bedroom loft at the Monster Temple. Star looks deep in thought at the belongings in her room. Marco enters holding a doll's head and body. | |
Marco Diaz | Hey, Star? Meteora keeps leaving these headless dolls in my bed, and I'm pretty sure this one has a mole. Oh! You brought your room back. |
Star Butterfly | Yup. [magically hangs Sea Captain's portrait] |
Marco | What happened to this being temporary? |
Star | It's still temporary. Just, uh, you know, a longer temporary than I thought. |
Marco | Oh, man. I don't wanna sleep in the dungeon alone. |
Star | Oh, don't worry. I gotcha. |
Marco | [gasps] Are you gonna do the thing? |
Star | I'm gonna do the thing. |
Marco | You're doing the thing! |
Star | [charges magic between her palms] I'm doing the thing! Sparkle Glitter Bomb Expand! |
Marco's bedroom appears as an extension of Star's. | |
Star | [gestures at bedroom door] After you. |
Marco | [enters his bedroom] Wow! I can't believe how much I missed all my stuff! Everything's here! [gasps] My favorite Mackie Hand poster! El Choppo! Looking good, buddy. [gasps] Ohhhh! The new line of Princess Turdina merch! [pulls Princess Turdina doll's string] |
Princess Turdina doll | Let's dismantle the patriarchy! |
Marco | Star, this is amazing. |
Star | [laughs] I know, but don't mention it. |
A short telegram delivery monster appears at Marco's door out of breath. | |
Ransomgram Monster | [panting] Whoo... Is this Marco Diaz's room? |
Marco | Yeah, that's me. |
Ransomgram Monster | Oh, thank goodness! I have been looking for Marco Diaz's room for months! [pants] I got a ransomgram for you. |
Marco | Uh, what? |
Ransomgram Monster | Uh, yeah. It's a ransomgram. You know, it's a funny little song about how somebody stole something you love, and they're holding it for ransom. |
Marco | W-Wha...? |
Ransomgram Monster | [singing and dancing] ♪ You stole our sword ♪ ♪ So we stole your dragoncycle ♪ ♪ So bring back the sword ♪ ♪ And we'll return your dragoncycle ♪ ♪ Sincerely, the Neverzonians! ♪ [panting] Finally. [poofs into thin air] |
Marco | Oh, my gosh! Nachos is in trouble! I gotta save her! |
Star | Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Where are you going? |
Marco | [wielding El Choppo] To the Neverzone! And then maybe to talk to Hekapoo about telling me when she loses my dragoncycle. |
Star | Wait. You're going to that weird future dimension where you're all buff and rugged? I am in! |
Marco | Uh... I don't know, Star. I went through some really tough times in that place. It's more treacherous than other dimensions. |
Star | Right. Right-right-right-right, yes, I see your point. But consider... Abs! |
Marco | Ugh. Okay, fine. |
Cut to interior of the Afflicted Forest. Thunder crashes in the trees. A dimensional portal opens, and 30-year-old Marco steps through. His appearance is punctuated by bubbles and sparkles. | |
Star | [wide-eyed and blushing] Abs Dimension...! |
Adult Marco | The Neverzone is on the other side of the Afflicted Forest. We'll never make it there on foot. |
Star | Oh! Summoning Cloudy Charm—! |
Adult Marco | No! We can't fly here. There's wild lightning roaming the trees. |
Thunder crashes in the treetops again. | |
Star | Yeah, that lightning looks pretty wild. [a fairy flutters up to her] Aww! Is that a fairy? |
Adult Marco | [squishes fairy between his hands] |
Star | [gasps] Marco Diaz! |
Adult Marco | The fairies here are just like mosquitoes. But they make a great summoning charm. |
Marco rubs the fairy's blood on a tree. It and several other trees come to life and moan loudly. | |
Star | Uh, Marco, what is going ooooon? Aah! |
Lightning strikes a nearby crag, and an Amazon-like goddess with dreadlocks and holding a battle-axe appears on the back of a polar-bear like creature with horns. | |
Star | [gasps deeply, wide-eyed and blushing] Whoa! She's so cool! |
Adult Marco | That's Brunzetta. We quested together for a while. |
Star | Oh-ho-ho. So, you mean quested or, like... "quested"? |
Brunzetta | (o.s.) Marco Diaz! [leaps from her mounted bear and lands near Star and Marco] |
Star | [giggles nervously] |
Brunzetta | As I live and breathe! [slaps Marco's back, laughs] Good to see you, old friend. |
Star | [gibbering] |
Brunzetta | Who's this? |
Adult Marco | Brunzetta, this is my best friend Star. |
Brunzetta | Ohhh! [laughs] Yammy here told me all about you. |
Star | Wait. "Yammy"? |
Brunzetta | Oh, one time, Marco insulted a necromancer's cooking. He got turned into a yam for a whole year. |
Adult Marco | [blushing] Brunzetta, now's not the time! We need a ride to the Neverzone. |
Brunzetta | Right. I heard those savages got Nachos. You gonna give them El Choppo? |
Adult Marco | What do you think? |
Brunzetta punches Marco so hard, he falls over. | |
Brunzetta | [laughs] Classic Yammy! |
Star, Marco, and Brunzetta ride to the Neverzone on Brunzetta's bear. Star sits between Marco and Brunzetta and is enamored with both of them. | |
Brunzetta | And then there was this time we fought a giant scorpion made entirely of skulls. I was just about to chop its head off when Yammy got the brilliant idea to light it on fire! |
Adult Marco | How was I supposed to know that fire makes it stronger? |
Star | Wow, Marco. You've never told me about any of these adventures. |
Adult Marco | It's not all adventure, Star. There's a lot I wanna forget, but I can never forget... the Neverzone. |
They enter a snowy region and see the Neverzonians' castle in the distance. Star magically makes a winter outfit for herself. | |
Adult Marco | I spent a whole year lost in this frozen wasteland. In all that time, those cruel Neverzonians sat in their glittering ice castle, never offering me so much as a blanket to warm my cold,
rippling deltoids. |
Star | Wow. You really have been through some tough times out here. |
Adult Marco | Finding El Choppo was the one happy moment in that whole dark, bleak chapter of my life. I won't let them take it away. [gasps] |
Distant moaning is heard, and blue fog rises behind them. | |
Brunzetta | It's not safe to linger here. We have to go. [whips leading straps] Hyah! |
Star, Marco, and Brunzetta continue toward the Neverzone. Dozens of light blue eyes appear in the fog. In the Neverzone, every surface made of or covered in ice is melting. Castle spires lean left or right instead of standing up straight. | |
Star | Wait a minute. Is this the glittering ice castle you were talking about? It's all melty. |
Adult Marco | I guess time really did a number on this place. |
Fog surrounds Star, Marco, and Brunzetta, and ghostly figures appear through the fog. | |
Wraith | [raspily] You brought the sword. |
Adult Marco | Where's Nachos?! |
Wraith | [raspily] The one you call "Nachos" will be returned when you release the Neverblade. |
Adult Marco | I'm not giving you anything until I see her! |
The ghostly figures float to the side and reveal Nachos, chained up at the base of a statue and shivering from the cold. | |
Nachos | [growls weakly] |
Adult Marco | Nachos! What did they do to you, girl? |
Wraith | [gestures at pedestal] Put our sword in here, and we will return your precious Nachos. |
Adult Marco | If you want El Choppo, you'll have to take it from me. |
Wraith | Very well. |
Several Wraiths fly around the statue in a ring. Another appears close to the screen and snarls. | |
Adult Marco | Hyah! [runs into battle with El Choppo] |
Brunzetta | Hyah! [leaps into battle with her axe] |
Star | [leaps into battle with her magic] |
Brunzetta slams her axe into the ground, releasing a wave of electricity. When several Wraiths surround her, she horizontally slices through them. | |
Brunzetta | Who's next? |
Star | [blushes, raises her hand] Can I be next? [Neverzonian flies past her] Aah! Oh, right. Narwhal Blast! |
Star shoots narwhals at a Wraith, and it breathes green smoke in her face. Another Wraith rises up behind her and roars, and more Wraiths appear. | |
Star | Aah! [fires Narwhal Blast] |
Several Wraiths chase down Marco. He leaps forward and breaks Nachos' chain with El Choppo. He greets Nachos with a kiss, and Star appears in his shoulders. | |
Adult Marco | Let's ride. |
Brunzetta | Right behind you! Hyah! [cuts down more Wraiths, laughs] |
Star, Marco, Nachos, Brunzetta, and Brunzetta's bear retreat. | |
Star | Whoo-hoo! We just escaped death! |
Scene cuts to a campfire outside the Neverzone. Marco gives Nachos a bowl of food. | |
Adult Marco | [laughs] Mmm. And then I said, "That's 'Nacho' (not your) bike." |
Star | Marco, we were there, and you never said that. |
Adult Marco | [laughing, sighs] Winning is great. |
Brunzetta | Indeed! Those Neverzonians deserve to have their castle melted every night. |
Adult Marco | They sure do— Wait. What are you talking about? |
Brunzetta | I thought you knew. When you stole the Neverblade, you freed a fire demon that's been terrorizing them for centuries. |
Star | You stole El Choppo?! |
Adult Marco | What? No! I didn't steal it. I... I found it. No one was using it. I-It was just stuck in an ancient statue very deliberately, and— [gasps] Oh, no. I totally stole it, didn't I? I have to go back. |
Star | What?! No! That place is horrible! |
Within the Neverzone, the fire demon goes on a fire-breathing rampage. As the Neverzonians run around and scream in terror, the fire demon – which looks like a large, flaming warthog – roars and breathes fire everywhere. Star, Marco, and Brunzetta return to the statue. | |
Adult Marco | Okay, this shouldn't take too long. |
Fire Demon | [jumps in front of Marco, roars] |
Star | Don't worry, Marco! I got this! [dodges fire demon's fire breath] Cupcake Blast! |
Star shoots cupcakes at the demon and propels herself over it, but it breathes more fire and sends her flying backward into a wall. She collapses onto the ground. | |
Brunzetta | Waah! |
Brunzetta leaps from her bear's back and slams her axe down near the demon. She swings her axe and fires electric blasts at it. When it breathes fire on her at close range, she shields herself with an electric barrier. | |
Brunzetta | Now, Yammy! |
Adult Marco | [runs toward the statue] |
The fire demon jumps in front of Marco again and tackles him to the ground. El Choppo goes flying and lands near Star. | |
Star | Huh? |
Adult Marco | Star, run! |
Fire Demon | [charges at Star] |
Star | Aah! |
Star grabs El Choppo and runs to the edge of a chasm. As the fire demon closes in, Star launches herself into the air with magic, causing the demon to charge over the edge and down the deep chasm. | |
Fire Demon | [shrieking, fades away] |
There's a faint thud at the bottom of the chasm when the fire demon lands. | |
Star | I helped! |
Adult Marco | Star, are you okay? |
Star | Uh, yeah! We defeated the beast! |
Brunzetta | [rubs Star's head] We sure did. |
Star | [blushes, giggles] |
The ground rumbles, and the fire demon leaps out of the chasm to face Star, Marco, and Brunzetta again. | |
Star | Hurry! Take El Choppo and run! |
Brunzetta | We'll handle this! |
Adult Marco | [runs up to statue] Oh, El Choppo. We've really had quite a run, haven't we, old friend? [sniffs] I remember this one time— |
Star | [blocking demon's fire breath] Marco, no time! Hurry up! |
Brunzetta | [blocking demon's fire breath] Seriously, dude?! |
The fire demon burns through Star and Brunzetta's defenses and leaps at Marco. | |
Adult Marco | Oh, right! [shouts] |
Marco thrusts El Choppo into the statue's skull-shaped pedestal. Its eyes glow bright orange. Just before the fire demon reaches Marco, it gets sucked into the pedestal. The statue gives a smile and two thumbs up. | |
Adult Marco | [sighs] |
Brunzetta | [laughs] I haven't seen a fight like that in ages. |
Adult Marco | Yeah, just like old times. |
Brunzetta | Indeed. Well, until we meet again, Yammy. [chuckles] Brunzettaaaaaaaaa, out! [vanishes in bolt of lightning] |
Star | Bye, Brunzetta! Please don't forget about me! [looks at Marco] What? |
Wraiths | [moaning] |
Adult Marco | The beast has been defeated! You can all finally relax. |
Neverzonian 1 | Took you long enough. That demon may be gone, but our castle is still a hot mess. |
Neverzonian 2 | [holding burnt carrots] My crops are all fried, man. |
Star | [huffs] Well, dang. Ungrateful. Come on, tough guy, let's go home. [takes Marco's dimensional scissors and opens portal] |
Adult Marco | [gives dragoncycle keys to Star] Here. Take these until I get back. |
Star | Back? Back from where? |
Adult Marco | I may have returned El Choppo, but that doesn't make up for the thousands of years of terror that I inflicted upon these poor creatures. I'm going to stay and help them rebuild their castle. |
Star | What? No, Marco. You don't have to do this. You're a good person. You just made a mistake. |
Adult Marco | I can't run from my misdeeds, Star. I must make right with these wraiths. Until then, I won't be right... with me. |
Star | [cries] Oh, Marco. You are, like... so hot right now! |
Adult Marco | [inhales] I know. |
Marco shoves Star into the portal, and she returns to her bedroom. Nachos and Marco's keys come through after her, and the portal closes. | |
Star | Oh, Nachos. I'm really gonna miss him. |
Another portal opens, and Marco – back to his teenage form – comes through. | |
Marco | [sighs] Whoo! |
Star | Marco! |
Marco | Star? Is that you? [sighs] It's been so long. But I have so much to tell you! The castle's all finished, I learned to speak Merman, I got my first gray hair, I taught a group of underprivileged gnomes how to dance— |
Star | [hugs Marco] Awww, welcome home, Yammy. |
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Ransomgram/Transcript
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