Scene opens with Marco Diaz climbing out of a small crater in a unknown, dimly lit area. Star Butterfly growls while gnawing on a ribbon. When she sees Marco, she shrieks and runs away.
Marco Star? Huh? [notices his locker] I don't know my combination!
The lock rattles to the point of breaking, and the locker opens to reveal another version of Marco inside
Marco [gasps] I'm... I'm... I'm wearing a suit!
Out of sight, the alternate version of Marco turns into Mr. Candle.
Mr. Candle What are your plans for the future, Mr. Diaz?
Marco Mr. Candle?
Various students from Echo Creek Academy appear on balloons which float up to the moon.
Jackie Lynn Thomas We're moving on with our lives.
Marco But I haven't made up my balloon yet.
A red belt appears suspended in the sky above Marco
Marco My red belt. I've been looking all over for you. [the belt flies away] Wait! Come back.
Star Butterfly Marco. Marco. Marco!
Marco awakes from his dream. Star is in his room, leaning out of a dimensional scissors portal.
Star Marco, Marco, Marco.
Marco [screams] Star?
Star You okay? Sounded like you were having one of those "stuck in life" dreams again.
Marco Yeah. Wait. What are you doing in here?
Star I'm hanging my first "Love Sentence" poster. You can be my prisoner of love, Justin Towers.
Marco Uh... that's not what I meant. I was sleeping.
Star Oh! Right. You have a hammer? I'm putting this bad boy up Earth girl style. No majack!
Marco Yeah, all I'm saying is, you could've tried knocking on my door, Earth girl style.
Star Why would I do that when I have dimensional... oh! How can I be so "duh"? Nothing's easy on Earth! [laughs] I'm gonna find a hammer the hard way. Scavenger hunt!
Marco Do we even have a hammer? [Marco stares at his karate gi]
Scene changes to the Echo Creek Dojo
Marco Sensei, I need to talk to you about graduating to a red...
Sensei Brantley Silence! I'm about to achieve oneness with the universe. [inhales loudly, unintelligible muttering and grunting] Now, bow to your sensei.
Marco [bows] Master, I've been a green belt for five years. It's time for me to level up.
Sensei [laughs] Five years, and you think you're ready? Go get an ice cream cone or something and quit wasting my Saturday.
Marco Sensei, I'm serious.
Sensei Are you sure? The training you desire has broken many a student.
Marco I'm ready to do whatever it takes.
Sensei Fine. We start... [screaming] now! [kicks up his foot] Clip the toenail.
Marco Seriously?
Sensei Clip the toenail!!
Marco [starts clipping, nail hits his eye] Ow!
Scene changes to the bathroom
Sensei Plunge the toilet.
Marco Ugh.
Scene changes back to the dojo floor
Sensei Take the deduction.
Marco [fly lands on his eye, winces]
Sensei Is your moment of failure at hand, Mr. Diaz?
Marco [painfully] No sensei. Bleh.
Scene changes to the Diaz's home
Star Hey guys! Just ignore me.
Angie Diaz Why exactly are we ignoring you?
Star I'm scavenging the house for a hammer. Just pretend I'm not here.
Rafael Diaz Okie-dokie.
Angie [to Rafael] Do we even have a hammer?
Rafael No.
Star [groans] If was a hammer... I'd be up there! [climbs the chimney]
Angie [to Rafael] We have to do something.
Scene jumps back to Marco.
Sensei That's right, Mr. Diaz. Feel the squeegee deep in your soul. Preparation is key; you never know when trouble will arrive
Sensei's mom [honks horn, steps out of car] Hello dear.
Sensei Mom! How nice to have you, uh, visit me at my own house.
Sensei's mom It's nice to see you finally getting to those windows, and you have a little friend helping you. Maybe I'll fix you a big helper's snack.
Marco Your mom seems nice.
Sensei Oh yes, she often comes to see me. But not too often, on account of her having her own home.
Marco I'm glad you made that distinction because it almost seemed like this was her house.
Sensei's mom Here you go boys [holds a plate of food]. If you need me, I'll be taking a nap in my room, okay?
Scene jumps to the Sensei's room.
Marco Okay, it's clear that you live at home in a room that is unsettlingly similar to mine.
Sensei Uh... great. Then you'll have no problem cleaning it.
Marco Wait a minute. Are you training me for a red belt, or are you making me do all your chores?
Sensei No no, we're training. [Kicks out his leg] Ha! Cut the toenail.
Marco Ugh! I think I've more than earned my red belt.
Sensei Uh, you can't because I, uh... [starts sobbing] because I'm also only a green belt.
Marco What⁈
Sensei I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life so I rented a dojo and ordered these instructional videotapes. Each tape tole me what to learn to get each color belt. It was going pretty well at first, but I only watched as far as the green belt tape.
Marco Why'd you stop there?
Sensei Because the red belt tape got stuck in the machine. Now it just holds up the short leg on my computer table.
Marco Couldn't you just try to get the tape out and untangle it?
Sensei I did, but that tape got stuck in another machine! What kind of sensei can't even work a VCR?
Marco [breathes deeply] Well, we can totally find it online. [uses his cell phone] Except we can't. It seems like this is one of the rarest sets of videotapes in existence. I guess we'll just have to find it IRL.
Sensei No way. I owe those guys too much in back taxes.
Marco IRL means 'in real life.' We just have to find a copy somewhere out there.
Sensei I see. In that case, we'll need wheels.
Outside the house
Sensei [riding bicycle with Marco] To adventure!
Marco [laughing] Feel the wind in my tassels!
Dog [barks]
Sensei Mom, call Rocket. He's being weird.
Scene jumps back to Star, who's still searching for the hammer. The Diaz's house is a total mess!
Star [groans while crawling] Must... find... hammer. [head smacks against ground]
Scene changes to outside thrift store
Sensei What is this place?
Marco It's cool. You'll love it.
Sensei [inside the store] Yuck. Come on. It's like a yard sale, but inside.
Marco These are the only kind of places you can find old videotapes anymore. [grabs a cassette]
Sensei Is that it?
Marco No [grabs another].
Sensei Is that it?
Marco No [grabs another].
Sensei Is that it?
Marco Nope [grabs another].
Sensei Is that?
Marco Nope [grabs another]. Got it. Never mind, this is how to karaoke.
Sensei Ahg. This is impossible! We're never gonna find it.
Marco Come on, we just got here. [store bell rings] Why don't you go check one of those other bookcases? Sensei?
Outside the store
Sensei How about grape and cherry? Ooh, you know what? Just squirt every flavor you got on it zombie style. [receives an ice cream cone] Ooh, yeah.
Marco Why'd you leave?
Sensei Got some cash? I don't get my allowance till Friday.
Marco Oh, uh... here.
Marco's sensei has vanished, but the ice cream man points Marco in the right direction. He is currently showing off a bicycle trick to two ladies.
Sensei Fifty one, fifty two, fifty three...
Marco Sensei, what are you doing?
Sensei Dude, these chicks totally dig my bike.
Marco Are you for real?
Sensei What?
Marco You don't really wanna earn your red belt, do you?
Sensei Look, we tried, and we failed, and that's okay.
Marco It's not okay. I actually wanted to be like you, but you're just like me, except I'm not gonna end up 38 years old and still living with my parents. I'll see you later
Sensei Where you going?
Marco I'm going to find that tape and get my red belt.
Sensei Uh, bow to your sensei.
Marco I don't have a sensei anymore. [to himself] So where am I gonna look next? I could check more thrift stores, but what are the odds I'll [walks in to a billboard] Ow. [the billboard reads 'Rare video Tapes'] Bump into it? [looks up and reads the store name 'VHS Depot'].
Cashier You are no cinephile. Next.
Marco I'm looking for a rare set of karate instructional tapes.
Cashier Finally. A customer who knows what he's talking about.
Marco It's the "How to Karate" series. The red belt tape.
Cashier [gestures] Behold, the coveted volume 8 red belt cassette. [pulls it from the shelf] Viewed only once.
Marco [sighs] I've been looking all over for you [reaches to pick it up]
Cashier [smacks Marco's hand] Not without gloves, please.
Marco Okay. How much is it?
Cashier I will give you the aficionado price. 2,400.
Marco Dollars⁈ [laughs] I can't afford that.
Cashier Well, there is another way. Fight me for it.
Marco Really? Yeah, okay.
The cashier stands up, revealing his tall height and his muscular body.
Marco [unintimidated] I'm not leaving without that tape.
The cashier karate chops his own desk, and the battle begins. Marco's old sensei walks in.
Sensei Hey, Marco. I'm still your sensei, right? Ooh.
The fighting continues, Marco is losing.
Marco Sensei, he has the tape [screams]
Sensei Mr. Diaz, clip the toenail!
Marco does as he says, and the cashier falls to the ground.
Cashier You... defeated me. [smiling] The tape is yours [hands it over].
Sensei [in a loop of magnetic tape] Can you ask him if he has the "How to Untangle Multiple VHS Tapes" VHS tape?
Marco No. Do you have a pair of scissors?
Cashier Actually, we...
Marco Not the critically acclaimed award-winning romantic comedy "A Pair of Scissors," an actual pair of scissors.
Cashier No.
Scene jumps back to star. She's being licked by her laser puppies
Star It's okay guys. I'm done. Go on without me. [clattering] A hammer!
Rafael and Angie [sigh]
Star Now I just need to find some nails.
Rafael [whispering] Back to the store.
Scene jumps to the dojo. The "How To Karate" tape ejects from the VHS player.
Sensei You know, red is really your color [bows].
Marco It's yours too, sensei [bows].
Scene jumps back to Star in her room.
Star I'd say this Earth girl did a job well done. [part of the wall's paint flakes off] Now, let's clean this house the easy way.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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