Episode begins on exterior shot of Echo Creek Academy. Cheering is heard in the background. Cut to shot of Awesome Opossums banner; various captions on the banner read "PLEASE TRY!", "GO TEAM!", and "DON'T PLAY DEAD!" A beach ball bounces across the screen.
Star Butterfly (o.s.) Oh, my gosh! I can't wait, I can't wait!
Camera zooms out to show crowd of school students at a pep rally. Star, Marco, and Alfonzo sit together. Miss Skullnick is seen with a bucket of fried chicken.
Star My very first pep rally! [gasps] I am so excited!
Star bumps the beach ball, and a small rabbit-like creature appears from her wand. Marco picks it up.)
Marco Diaz When aren't you excited?
Star Shh.
Principal Skeeves [holding a microphone] And now, Brittney Wong, who became head cheerleader on her own and not because her dad made a generous donation to the school.
Principal Skeeves gets hit in the head with a beach ball. The Echo Creek Academy spirit committee runs out carrying Brittney Wong.
Spirit Committee [rhythmically] Go, Echo Creek! Let's try not to get beat! Go, Echo Creek! Let's try not to get beat! Go, go, go, go, yeah!
Brittney walks off the cheerleaders carrying her like stairs and takes the microphone away from Principal Skeeves.
Brittney Wong Make some noise if you love the Awesome Opossums!
Crowd [cheering]
Star [gasps] I love opossums! They carry their babies on their backs!
Marco You know she's talking about our football team, right? We're going up against the Warriors. [shuddering]
Star Warriors?
Alfonzo Dolittle Our rivals from Silver Hill Prep.
Marco Every year, their team slaughters our guys.
Skullnick It's gonna be a bloodbath.
Miss Skullnick pulls a whole chicken skeleton out of her mouth.
Star That's terrible! We must do something!
Marco Well, you could join the Spirit Committee. Those kids are relentless when it comes to supporting the team.
Ed performs a leg split while holding a pair of pennants.
Ed Opossums!
Marco Relentless.
Star What a great idea! We better pick up some supplies!
Marco As fun as that sounds, you can go without me.
Star Okay! [whispering to Miss Skullnick] Hey, Skullzy. What's your favorite weapon?
Skullnick Battleaxe.
Star [clicks teeth]
Brittney And now, our new mascot... that I never approved of... The Awesome Opossum!
The Awesome Opossum hops onto the field.
Awesome Opossum Woo-hoo! Alright!
The bottom half of the Opossum's costume falls, revealing the wearer's underwear.
Awesome Opossum Come on, Opossu— Oh, no.
Marco Where's the real possum? Did the Warriors steal it again? Those jerks!
Alfonzo Sadly, the real possum wasn't playing possum.
Cut to a shot of the real possum's funeral. A woman cries over the possum's death, and a custodian stands by with a shovel.
Awesome Opossum I hiss, I bite, I shake my tail all night!
The mouth of the Awesome Opossum's costume pulls back to reveal Ferguson's face.
Marco Hey, that's Ferguson!
Alfonzo He's our new mascot!
Marco Oh, no! That means the Warriors are gonna to steal him!
Alfonzo Oh, that's silly.
Marco The only thing that's silly is how the Warriors are gonna look when they try to steal my friend!
Cut to Star running through the school hallway. She stops in front of a trophy case that houses pictures of former Awesome Opossums team members.
Star [sighs] So many brave young men. So many tragic losses.
She breathes on the glass and draws a sad face in the condensation.
Marco sneaks through the hallway.
Marco Alpha Team one, commencing security sweep for the Warriors. Over.
He continues sneaking through the hall, shimmying against the walls and rolling on the floor until he's next to the trophy case.
Star Oh, Marco.
Marco [surprised sounds, falls over] Oof!
Star How can we prevent another tragic loss to our team?
Marco Well, if I knew anything about football, I'd use the element of surprise.
Star Of course, of course, of course...
Marco Spritz 'em! Bring out the kitty cat offense!
Star Yes?
Marco Maybe even throw a couple big bombs!
Star Bombs! Yeah, I've gotta go tell that to the Spirit Committee. Bye!
Marco [continues sneaking] We have an all-clear. Move! Move! Move!
Alfonzo pushes Ferguson across the hall.
Ferguson O'durguson Ugh, this is not the respect a guy in a possum suit deserves.
Cut to school gymnasium. Sabrina stands in front of a trampoline.
Brittney [holding a megaphone] Don't worry, Sabrina. The Spirit Boys are gonna catch you. Grow some pompoms!
Sabrina jumps on the trampoline and flips through the air. Star bursts into the gym.
Boys Huh?
Sabrina falls onto the ground.
Sabrina Oof!
Brittney What the?
Star takes one of Andrea's pompoms.
Star Do these explode?
She pulls the handle off the pompom like a grenade pin and throws it at Ed. It lightly hits his face.
Star Maybe we can set them on fire!
Brittney (o.s.) Uh, we're kinda in the middle of something?
Star You're the leader. What's the plan?
Brittney [curt laugh] This year we have a secret weapon. [snaps fingers]
Brittney is joined by two other cheerleaders.
Brittney We're gonna distract them with out booty-shaking dance moves. Uh-huh.
Brittney and the two cheerleaders start shaking their butts. Star stares and blushes at the display.
Star Do you know nothing of combat?! No Warrior is gonna be distracted by Chantal's booty!
Chantal Wha...?
Star Lucky for you, my mom assigned the royal guards as my babysitters.
Flashback to Star's childhood. A royal guard kneels in front of young Star holding a stuffed toy.
Royal Guard You know you've done it right when you hear the neck snap.
He twists the stuffed toy's head, causing its cotton stuffing to pop out. Young Star delighted jumps up and down, clapping her hands.
Young Star Yaaay!
Cut back to present day – gym.
Star [chuckling]
Brittney I know on planet "Moo-ni" or wherever it is you're from, it may be okay to be stupid, but no pesky magical foreigner is gonna question my leadership! You are officially banned from the spirit committee! [whips her hair]
Star Fine! Looks like it's all up to me.
Brittney [holding a megaphone] Okay, thanks for coming out! Come back never!
Cut to school exterior. Marco, Alfonzo, and Ferguson stand in the school parking lot.
Marco Okay, if a Warrior tries to kidnap you, blow on this stranger danger whistle.
Ferguson This is ridiculous. I just wanted to dress up like a possum to pick up on ladies.
Marco Hey! This whistle's gonna save your life!
Marco tries to force the whistle into Ferguson's mouth. Ferguson resists.
Marco Put it in your mouth! Do it!
Ferguson No!
Alfonzo Oh, dear.
Marco Blow it!
Ferguson Never! You get it away from me!
Marco Let me hear you blow!
Ferguson (o.s.) Get that whistle away from me!
Camera pans left to show Star looking into a dumpster. Four stray cats are seen eating thrown-out food.
Star You guys ready to be part of my kitty cat offense?
Stray cat [meows]
Star Ugh, fine. Then I guess we gotta do this the hard way. [jumps in] Kitty!
Star jumps into the dumpster. The dumpster shakes and rattles as garbage is thrown everywhere and the stray cats yowl.
Star I got you now!
The dumpster's lid closes, and magic bursts escape from the gaps. Cut to the Diaz Household at dusk. A squirrel runs across a power line. Marco looks suspiciously outside his room's window.
Ferguson Why can't I go home?! Dude, it's Taco Wednesday. It's the day we eat all the leftovers from Taco Tuesday!
Marco Because your house would be the first place the Warriors would look when they try to kidnap you!
Ferguson It kinda feels like you're trying to kidnap me.
Marco [menacingly] I'd watch that talk if you ever want to see your parents again.
Star (o.s) Marco!
Marco opens the window blinds. Star hangs off a power line while holding a squirrel by its tail.
Star Hey, Marco, do you have any highly flammable liquid?
Marco I don't know. Check the garage.
Star Cool, thanks! (she drops down with the squirrel)
Star drops to the ground, taking the squirrel with her. Marco closes the blinds.
Marco Alright—
Ferguson Man, I bet I could get a lot of action if I had a real prehensile tail.
Alfonzo Oh, yeah.
Ferguson Hey, ladies, you care for a drink? Wha! (He whips a soda can with his costume's tail, dropping it on Marco's laptop. The laptop flashes and the screen flickers to black.)
Ferguson whips his costume tail at an open soda can. The soda spills onto a nearby laptop. shorting it out. Marco, Ferguson, and Alfonzo stand in shock and silence. Cut to the Echo Creek Academy football field at night. The stands are filled with crowds.
Spirit Committee [chanting] Two, four, six, eight, distract them with our booty shake!
Brittney Oh! Oh!
On the field, the Warriors warm up for the game. One of them cracks his neck and laughs. The Opossums watch in fear, and one of them faints. Marco, Ferguson, and Alfonzo stand next to the bleachers. Marco "protects" Ferguson as a little girl runs past.
Marco It's almost game time, and thanks to me, no Warriors have even gotten close to you.
Star appears behind Marco and Ferguson dressed in armor and holding a spiked mace.
Star Haaaah!
Marco and Ferguson [yelps]
Star Who's ready for a bloody, bloody bloodbath? [laughing maniacally]
Marco What's with that crazy look in your eyes?
Star [with red, bloodshot eyes] What do you mean?
Marco Watch Ferguson. I need to talk to "Princess Cuckoo Pants."
Marco pulls Star off-screen. Two Warriors appear from behind the bleachers and abduct Ferguson.
Ferguson Stranger danger! STRANGER DANGER! [blowing whistle]
Marco Okay, Star, what are you up to?
Star Exactly what you said. (Picks up her wand in the form a of mace.) I booby-trapped the battlefield.
Marco WHAT?!?!
Cut to shots of the football field with landmines, pitfall traps, and laser sensors. Marco remand stunned couldn't believing what Star had done.
Marco STAR!... The Warriors weren't actually gonna kill our team! They were just gonna beat them in football! Which is a game!!!
Star Ohhhhh...
The referee blows his whistle. The Warriors kick the ball during kickoff, setting off a landmine. The football lands in Justin's hands. He drops the ball, and the Opossums scatter about the field in fear. The crowds start to scatter. One of the Warriors is pulled into a blue vortex. Ed sets off another landmine and goes flying through the air. Star remains worried, guilty on what she had done.
Star Oh, no. Everything's going according to plan.
The referee blows his whistle again and trips over a tripwire. The end zone lifts up, and various creatures come out from underground, including giant magical squirrels and three-eyed firecats.
Marco Let me guess, the kitty cat offense?
Star [chuckling nervously]
Marco Huh?
A giant squirrel chases some of the Warriors.
Marco We have to do something!
Star briefly hesitates on what to do before running off-screen. She pops back on-screen to retrieve her mace. Marco dodges exploding landmines and slams his foot on a giant squirrel's tail, stopping it in its tracks. He gets in front of the squirrel and kicks its face as it gets up again.
Warrior Alright! Dude, you are awesome!
Marco Uh, thanks, bro.
A magical bird swoops down and picks up one of the Warriors. A giant squirrel pounces on Marco. Star tries to rescue a Warrior from the vortex.
Star Marco!
Star picks up her mace and goes to help Marco, leaving the Warrior in the vortex.
Warrior No, no no, nooooo!
Star jumps into the air and pulls her mace apart to reveal her magic wand inside.
Star Mending Heart Hurricane! (The monster turns back into squirrels)
Star fires a magic blast at the giant squirrel that turns it back into eight normal squirrels. One of them gnaws on Marco's head. The Spirit Committee runs across the field, with Brittney Wong shoving the others aside.
Brittney Out of my way! I am too pretty to die! (Falls over and get eaten by another monster, screaming)
A giant snake burrows underneath Brittney and pops its head out of the ground.
Brittney [screaming]
The giant snake tosses Brittney into the air and catches her in its mouth.
Star Mending Heart Hurricane!
Star turns the giant snake back into hundreds of normal worms. Back on the ground, Brittney spits out snake saliva. Marco saves some of the Warriors from the firecats, but he is soon surrounded by firecats and giant squirrels.
Star Nuclear Heart Healing Hurricane!
Star drops out of the sky and turns all of the monsters back to normal with a wide blast of magic. The cats and squirrels scatter. Two of the Warriors continue carrying Ferguson away.
Ferguson Come on, fellas! Can't we discuss this man to possum?!
The Warriors get blown away by Star's landmines, freeing Ferguson. Marco restrains another monster, and Star turns it back to normal.
Ferguson Hey, Marco, you were right! They were trying to kidnap me!
Marco Ferguson, get off the field!
Ferguson What?! I can't hear you through all the explosions!
Ferguson runs onto a landmine, and it goes off.
Marco Ferguson!
Ferguson lies on the ground smoldering.
Marco No, buddy! I'm sorry! I failed you! [hugs Ferguson] Forgive me!
Ferguson Dude! I was just playing possum!
Marco Huh?
Ferguson It's what we do!
Marco You're alive! This is why you only have two friends!
Camera pans across the destroyed football field. One of the uprights falls over. One of the Warriors picks himself up out of a crater. Brittney sits in shock with her mascara running. A burnt Opossums banner falls. Star looks out upon the destruction.
Star I've really messed up.
Marco You mean, we really messed up. I should've been watching out for you.
Warrior Let's get outta here!
The Warriors dash onto a school bus, and it speeds away.
Justin Hey, they just forfeited. We win!
The crowd stands up from cowering and cheers. The Opossums pick up Star, Marco and Ferguson.
Star Woo-hoo! Huh... Why do I have this weird feeling I'm forgetting something?
A giant magical bird swoops down and snatches Marco.
Marco [screams]
Star That was it.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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