(theme song) | |
Episode begins at St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses; a warnicorn-drawn carriage pulls up to the front of the school. | |
Coachman | [whistling] |
Before the coachman can open the carriage door, Pony Head sticks her nose out the window. | |
Pony Head | [inhales deeply] I'm back. |
Coachman | Uh, what? |
Pony Head | [bursts out of the carriage] I said, I'm back! [bursts into the school] What y'all doing?! |
St. Olga's princesses | [cheering] |
Pony Head | Yes, yes, I'm very excited to see me, too. I know how it feels. |
Lizard princess | [runs up and hugs Pony Head] Pony Head, I missed you so much! |
Pony Head | Girl, boundaries. [shoves lizard princess off] Now look, I been cooped up with my batty sisters for way too long. So I need to brunch, and then I need to party, pronto! Who wants to watch? |
Princesses | I do, I do! |
A montage plays of Pony Head and the other princesses partying together, giving each other makeovers, having a pillow fight, and laughing. When the lizard princess hits Pony Head too hard with a pillow, Pony Head hits back hard enough to send the lizard princess flying into the wall. | |
Pony Head and princesses | [laughing] |
Pony Head | That's what it is! Okay, that's great, but who wants to get brunched in the face? |
Princess Arms | [stops the party] Hold on, there. Come with me to my office. |
Pony Head | You have a office? |
Scene cuts to Princess Arms' (formerly Miss Heinous's) office. One of the robot guards serves tea to Pony Head and Princess Arms. | |
Pony Head | You do realize those robots are killing machines, right? |
Princess Arms | We reprogrammed them. A lot of things have changed here, and if you wanna brunch, you gonna have to pass a new final. |
Pony Head | I know how to brunch, Patty! |
Princess Arms | All right, then. What are the four pillars of brunch? |
Pony Head | [scoffs] Waffles. |
Princess Arms | Mm-hmm. |
Pony Head | Uh... eggs, obviously. |
Princess Arms | Uh-huh. |
Pony Head | Buh... Ba-ba-ba... Bacon? |
Princess Arms | Yeah. |
Pony Head | Ugh. And, uh... Hold on, it's on the tip of my tongue. Now you're making me nervous. Uh, uh, uh... Uh... |
Princess Arms | And more bacon. |
Princess Arms' robot guard drops several textbooks on her desk. | |
Princess Arms | You're gonna have to take the exam. |
Pony Head | What?! I gotta take a waffle test?! That's crazy! I am not doing that, okay?! I invented brunch! [floats out of Princess Arms' office] Did y'all hear that?! Old Underarm wants me to take a test just to eat! |
Rat princess | [laughs] Yeah, Pony Head. It's so cool that you can get through brunch without passing a final, but... some of us aren't as cool as you. |
Pony Head | Well, sorry. No need to get all emotional about it. |
Rat princess | I guess, huh? What I'm saying is... [tearing up] Maybe if you don't like the way things are here now, you should just go. Come on, girls. |
The princesses walk away from Pony Head. | |
Pony Head | What? |
Scene cuts to castle courtyard. Pony Head tries to call Star on her compact mirror, but she gets the voicemail. | |
Star's voicemail | Hey, girl! Or boy. Sorry I missed your call. Leave a message after the— [beeps] |
Pony Head | Girl, you would not believe how whack St. O's is now! They're trying to make your girl take a brunch test. |
Coachman | (o.s.) [screaming] |
Pony Head | [gasps] |
The coachman's carriage flies over the courtyard gates and crashes on top of Pony Head, causing her to go flying through a upper-level window. | |
Rat princess | Pony Head! |
Meteora Butterfly suddenly jumps over the gates and lands in the courtyard with a boom. | |
Meteora | [laughing evilly] |
Rat princess | Oh, no! |
Meteora charges forward. The rat princess goes to Princess Arms' office. | |
Rat princess | Princess Arms! Oh...! |
Princess Arms | [shaving her hairy armpits, puts her arms down] What do you want?! |
Rat princess | It's Miss Heinous! She's trying to take back the school! |
Princess Arms | [gasps] |
Princess Arms sounds a school-wide alarm. Some princesses are shown playing cards as the alarm goes off. | |
Lizard princess | [gasps] It's Miss Heinous. Full house, girls! |
The card-playing princesses knock over the card table and charge to battle. A younger princess seen cooking in the kitchen drops her butcher knife, puts a collander on like a helmet, and carries a turnip into battle. The princesses storm to the front of the school, followed by the reprogrammed robot guards. | |
Princess Arms | Do not let them enter the school! |
Meteora and the robot guards charge toward each other. | |
Gemini | Oh, milady! |
Gemini takes out a small remote and presses the red button on it. The robots suddenly stop charging, and their eyes turn red. They then march back toward the princesses. | |
Princess Arms | Wha— What are you doing? |
The robots rip out their own hearts, which start to beep. | |
Princess Arms | [gasps] |
The robots throw their ripped-out hearts at the princesses like bombs. | |
Princesses | [screaming] |
A beeping heart lands near the youngest princess, and she cries. | |
Princess Arms | Come on, don't just stare at it! |
Princess Arms picks up the beeping heart and throws it at Meteora, and it explodes, engulfing Meteora in blue fire and smoke. Meteora emerges from the smoke moments later. | |
Princess Arms | Oh, no. Everyone back inside! [punches robot guard] |
The princesses go back inside the school and close the doors on Meteora. | |
Princess Arms | Lower the pizza boxes! |
Princesses toss out pizza boxes from the second floor balconies and board up the doors with them. | |
Young princess | [sobbing] We're gonna die! |
Princess Arms | No, we're not. |
Human princess | Yeah, this is like a year's worth of pizza. There's no way she's getting through this. |
Princess Arms | Shh-shh-shh! Listen. I think they stopped. |
Rasticore suddenly gets into the school by opening a portal with his dimensional chainsaw. | |
Rasticore | Did you miss me? |
Meteora and Gemini leap into the school from a second-story window. | |
Princesses | [screaming] |
Princess Arms tries fighting off Meteora with a long stick, but Meteora breaks it in half and pins her to the wall by driving the two stick halves through her dress. | |
Gemini | [chuckles evilly] |
Princess Arms | [frees herself from the wall] All right, girls! Plan B! |
Meteora, Gemini, and Rasticore run down a hallway, but the princesses cut them off. | |
Princess Arms | Hold it right there! If you wanna get to the brunch room, you're gonna have to go through us! |
Rasticore | [revs up chainsaw] |
Princess Ram | [shudders] |
Meteora, Gemini, and Rasticore attack, and the princesses scream with terror. Scene cuts to the brunch room; Princess Arms comes in flying through the wooden door. The door then falls over next to her. | |
Princess Arms | [yelps] |
She sees Pony Head stuffing her face with waffles. | |
Princess Arms | Pony Head, you're alive?! |
Pony Head | [loud gulp] |
Princess Arms | What are you doing? |
Pony head | [makes a waffle, egg, and bacon sandwich] I'm brunching on your four pillars before Heinous finds me. [chomp] |
Princess Arms | [gasps] She's after you? |
Pony Head | Isn't everybody? |
There is a loud boom and sizzling sound outside the brunch room, and Meteora, Rasticore, and Gemini walk through the blue smoke. Pony Head's horn lights up with magic power. | |
Pony Head | If I don't make it out of this, I want you to know... I hate you. |
Before breaching the brunch room, Meteora tears away a nearby door, and she, Gemini, and Rasticore enter a side room. | |
Pony Head | What? |
In another chamber, Meteora finds several robots in glass tubes and other scientific equipment. At the far back is a heap of a robot. Meteora snaps her fingers, and Gemini plugs the robot in, causing it to power on. St. Olga stands upright and pulls cobwebs off herself. | |
St. Olga | Young lady, did you unplug me? |
Meteora | Good morning, St. Olga. |
St. Olga | Oh, no. You changed your... look. |
Meteora | It's called a tail, and I think I look great with it. |
St. Olga | I think you looked better without it. |
Gemini | Well, I think she looks great with or without— |
Meteora covers Gemini's mouth with her tail. | |
Meteora | I need you to show me my master file. |
St. Olga | ...Of course. A trip down memory lane. |
St. Olga starts playing a slideshow of herself and baby Meteora. | |
St. Olga | I found you when you were just a street baby. I raised you as my own out of the goodness of my heart, and I managed to find the perfect work-life balance. |
Meteora | Show me the real master file! |
St. Olga | [turns off slideshow] I do not know what you are talking about. |
Meteora snaps her fingers again, and Gemini presses his remote, causing St. Olga's eyes to turn red. A compartment on her back opens to reveal a computer mouse, and Gemini clicks on the mouse twice. St. Olga starts playing a new slideshow. | |
Gemini | There we go. |
The slideshow first shows Meteora as a young adult, strapped to a chair in the school's solitary conform-ment chamber. | |
Meteora (younger) | You know, my mind's been wandering so much lately, I thought I could use a little refresher. Get me back on track. |
St. Olga | Time for a nice, relaxing brain massage. |
Meteora | No, not that memory! Rewind more! Go back! |
The slideshow then shows Meteora as a teenager, looking at her monster tail in the mirror. | |
Meteora (teen) | Mother, why do I have to hide my tail? |
St. Olga | You know that old rhyme, dear. "Boys do not make passes at girls with devil tails." |
Teenage Meteora hides her tail under her dress. | |
Meteora | No, rewind! |
The slideshow then shows Meteora as a child, looking at her glowing cheek marks in a puddle of water. | |
Meteora (child) | Oh, Mommy, Mommy, look! My cheeks are glowing! Isn't it pretty? |
St. Olga | Do you know what would make you even prettier? |
Meteora (child) | What, Mommy? |
St. Olga | Suppressing your flaws. |
St. Olga wipes young Meteora's cheeks. Present-day Meteora watches the film in silence. | |
Meteora (child) | [crying] Mommy, wait! I can fix it! |
Young Meteora tearfully makes her cheek marks stop glowing. | |
Meteora | Please, not this memory. Go back further. |
The slideshow then shows King Shastacan standing over baby Meteora's crib. | |
Royal aide | King Shastacan, the Lady St. Olga is here to see you. |
King Shastacan | Oh, St. Olga, thank you for coming. |
Meteora | This. This is it. |
Shastacan | This baby is unfit to inherit the kingdom. She's absolutely heinous. |
Meteora (baby) | [sneezes] |
St. Olga | Heinous. What a pretty name. |
The slideshow stops. | |
Meteora | Mewni should've been mine. |
St. Olga | I did my best raising you. All the other robot moms laughed behind my back. It was not easy. You should thank me. |
Meteora | Yeah... Thank you! |
Meteora punches St. Olga into the wall, deactivating her again. The arm Meteora punched St. Olga with suddenly grows in muscle mass. The princesses appear before Meteora again. | |
Pony Head | Hey! This school has become so dear to me since I got here ten minutes ago, and I did not come here to watch you destroy it! |
A more monstrous-looking Meteora growls at Pony Head and glares at her with yellow slitted eyes. | |
Pony Head | Ooh, you know what? You are clearly going through some things that, actually, I'm just gonna
circle back later. Wow. |
Meteora charges at Pony Head. | |
Pony Head | [screaming] |
Scene cuts to the school's front exterior. Meteora emerges from the fog holding Pony Head's broken horn and drops it on the ground. Rasticore tries to sneak past Meteora. | |
Rasticore | [muttering] I'm just gonna sneak by you... |
Meteora | Oh, Rasticore. |
Rasticore | Hmm? |
Meteora | [slowly turning her head] Looks like it's just you and me now. |
Rasticore | Yeah, about that... I really appreciate you nursing me back to health and all, but, uh... Look, y-you're great. Uh, you know that. Why am I telling you, huh? Ugh! I'm so bad at these things. I don't deserve a gal like you. |
Meteora | What...? |
Rasticore | Oh, I'm so busy with this job. I'm addicted to work! Sometimes I say to myself, "You know, Rasticore, wouldn't it be cool if you could meet Heinous, like, four years from now?" |
Meteora | It's Meteora. |
Rasticore | Yeah, yeah. See? I don't even know your name. Such a jerk. Ugh. Yeah. I gotta go. [starts walking away] But promise me this one thing: Twenty years from now, if we meet up and we're both still single, you'll be my soulmate. What am I talking about? That's not gonna happen. You're gonna find some awesome guy that's gonna steal you away from me. |
Meteora looks stunned. Gemini appears next to her. | |
Gemini | Looks like it's just you and me. |
Meteora | Ugh! |
Meteora opens Gemini's heart compartment, rips out his heart, and throws it at Rasticore, blowing up his body. | |
Gemini | Uh, if you wanted my heart, all you had to do was ask... [powering down] |
Rasticore, once again reduced to just an arm, tries crawling away, but Meteora steps him and picks him up. | |
Meteora | Oh, Rasticore. Time to take back the throne of Mewni. |
Meteora walks off into the night. |
Advertisement
Skooled!/Transcript
< Skooled!
Advertisement