Episode begins at the Diaz household – morning. Marco comes down the stairs.
Marco Diaz [yawning]
A purple bird flies past him, squawking.
Marco Wha...?
Multiple birds fly past Marco squawking.
Marco Huh?
Camera zooms out to show the living room has been turned into a jungle.
Marco Wow, Star's getting better at her magic. This is really peaceful.
A lion-like monster with blue fur, four eyes, and a snake tail lunges from off-screen to attack Marco. It catches Marco in its mouth.
Marco [screams] Help! [screams]
Star Butterfly Mega Explosive Crystal Laser!
Star makes a laser pointer with her wand. The lion monster drops Marco and follows the laser pointer.
Lion monster [screeching like a cat]
Star Here, kitty, kitty.
The lion monster follows the laser pointer away into the bushes.
Marco [sighs] Thanks for saving me... again.
Marco takes out a notepad and pen. The notepad two columns: one with Star's face and 27 check marks, and one with Marco's face and 4 check marks. Marco adds a check mark to Star's column.
Marco That makes it 28 saves for you and... 4 for me. But, heh, who's counting?
Star Wow, Marco! I just love what you've done with the place!
A purple bird flies up and perches on Star's head. It squawks and starts pecking her head.
Star [gasps] Aw! So cute!
Marco [laughing] What? I didn't do this.
Star Well, somebody did.
Marco "Somebody"? Birds and rainbows and... whatever that is?
Marco points at a six-legged poodle-like creature behind him eating a bag of chips.
Poodle 'Sup?
Marco This has to be you.
Star Sorry, it wasn't me.
Marco pulls down an entanglement of vines to reveal a stone sculpture of Star's head.
Star Eh, looks more like your dad's work.
Mr. Diaz appears in the sculpture's mouth holding a hammer and chisel.
Mr. Diaz This was my work. [laughing] But the rest of this, no.
Star smiles and walks off-screen. Marco looks at the camera in disbelief. Scene transitions nighttime. Marco sleeps while a caterpillar-like creature slithers across his bed.
Marco [snoring] Huh?!
Magic blasting sounds are heard off-screen. Marco approaches Star's bedroom door, from which blasts of light are seen through the door gaps. Marco opens the door.
Marco [gasps]
Star sleepwalks and fires spells around the room.
Star [snoring and mumbling] Nnnnno... Get back...
Marco is hit by a narwhal blast and falls to the floor.
Marco [yelps] Star? What are you doing?
Star Lamp... Destroy...
Star brings a lamp to life, and it starts zapping Marco.
Marco [screams] Okay! Oh! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
Star bumps into her interdimensional mirror.
Mirror Playing messages.
Queen Butterfly's image appears on the mirror.
Queen Butterfly Star. Just calling with your daily reminder to behave like the queen-in-training that you are.
Star Paper... Tornado...
Marco What?!
Star brings a stack of papers to life. The papers whirl around Marco.
Marco [screaming] Ow, ow! Star! Wake up!
Star Beanbag... Monster... Metamorphosis...
Star brings a beanbag to life. It roars at Marco.
Marco [screaming] Star!
Star [wakes up, yawning] Morning, Marco. Morning, beanbag chair monster. ...Marco! Lightning Twinkle Rescue!
Star blasts at Marco, turning the lamp, papers, and beanbag to normal.
Marco [sighs] You saved me.
Marco takes out his notepad and adds another check mark to Star's column.
Marco That's, uh, 29 to 4.
Star [holds up a sleeping narwhal] What happened?
Marco You were spelling in your sleep! [battle cry, kicks the lamp] That must be why you don't remember turning our living room into a jungle.
Star Oh, no! You gotta fix me, Diaz!
Marco [gasps] Now's my chance to save you! With psychology!
Star Psychology?
Marco Psychologyyyy.
Star Yeah. Psychologyyyy. ...What is it?
Marco Psychology is like karate for your mind. I'm gonna dig deep in your brain to see what makes you tick.
Star Ohhhh. Yeah, we have something like that on Mewni.
Brief cut to Mewni. A man sits in a catapult. A doctor pulls the catapult's lever, and the man goes flying into the background. Cut back to Star's bedroom.
Marco Yeah, this is pretty different. Now, before we start, I must transform myself.
Star Transform?
Marco spins around. He puts on a pair of glasses and a sweater vest, and he takes out a textbook labeled "PSYCH 101".
Marco Glasses! Paper! Clothes! Book! [strikes a pose] Dr. Marco, Ph.D!
Star What does Ph.D stand for?
Mrs. Diaz [walks by the bedroom door] "Pretty handsome dude."
Dr. Marco Mom! Go back to bed!
Scene transitions to Marco and Star in the living room. Star lies on the couch while Marco sits in a chair.
Dr. Marco All right, Miss Butterfly. I'm going to administer a series of psychological tests to uncover what's bothering you.
Star Ooh, tests. Sounds fun! Oh, wait. No, it doesn't.
Dr. Marco Test number one: role playing! I want you to pretend to be someone close to you.
Star [wearing Marco's hoodie] Hi, I'm Marco! My skinny jeans are awesome! Ooh, here comes Jackie Lynn Thomas! I'm gonna impress her with my karate! I got this cute little mole!
Dr. Marco [exasperated sigh]
Marco writes "THIS ISN'T WORKING" on his notepad.
Dr. Marco Test number two: art therapy! [hands Star a paintbrush] Paint me a picture of your childhood.
Scene transition. Star paints herself being constricted by a snake with Queen Butterfly's face; a three-headed monster with the heads of Ludo, Buff Frog, and a fly monster; and a unicorn.
Dr. Marco Hmmm. Such depth! So many symbols! What does it say about your childhood?!
Star I was just drawing unicorns and monsters 'cause they're cool. Rawr! Aah! Rawr!
Dr. Marco Test three: ink blot test! [holds up an ink blot] Tell me what you see on this paper.
Star An ink blot! I win!
Dr. Marco Okay, no-no-no. What does this remind you of?
Star A fat porcupine.
Dr. Marco Oh, yes, that's good. [holds up a different ink blot] What about this one?
Star A little alien guy in a gnome cap. [gasps] Maybe I'm sleep-spelling because I'm secretly a little alien guy in a gnome cap.
Dr. Marco Eh, no. [holds up an ink blot that's just a small black dot] Now what about—Ugh, wait. Hold on, this is a mistake.
Star [gasps] That reminds me of my overbearing mother suffocating me with all the duties of becoming a queen for the rest of my life...!
Dr. Marco I think we may have found the root of your problem. You have mother issues!
Star [clapping] Yay! I have mother issues!
Dr. Marco No, that's bad.
Star Aww. I have mother issues.
Dr. Marco It's okay, Star. Identifying the problem is the first step to recovery.
Star Recovery...!
Cut to some time later. The house flashes with light as Star continues to sleep-spell. Marco wakes up in his bed.
Marco [yelps]
A magic beam blasts through his bedroom door, and his bed turns into a giant cat balloon. Star bursts into the room.
Star [snoring]
Marco Aw, man.
Marco takes out his notepad and crosses out one of the check marks on his column.
Star [muttering] Get away...!
Princess Smooshy [o.s., grunting]
Marco Huh?
Marco sees Princess Smooshy reaching out to Star. Star keeps her away with laser blasts.
Marco Wait... What the?
Marco's cat balloon pops, and he falls on top of Star.
Marco [groans]
Star Undy pants? Oh, no! Marco's naked!
Marco No, I'm in my jamjams. Look.
Camera pans over to Princess Smooshy.
Princess Smooshy I want your face!
Marco Ugh, you weren't sleep-spelling. You were just defending yourself against that sleep goblin... elephant.
Star Wow! I'm hardcore!
Princess Smooshy I came here for your face! To steal your face! You hurt me in my butt!
Princess Smooshy turns around to reveal a tiny narwhal with its horn stuck in her butt.
Marco [shuddering]
Star Could you... stop yelling?
Princess Smooshy Well, I'm sorry. I don't have any ears. Camera phone.
Princess Smooshy takes out her camera phone and takes a selfie.
Princess Smooshy I'm on the run from St. O's.
Star Well, you can't stay here. I don't want to go to St. O's!
Princess Smooshy Oh, you're going to St. O's.
Cut to fantasy sequence of Star and Princess Smooshy.
Princess Smooshy You see, we're both big girls. We got the same highs and lows, the same east and west. You can hardly tell us apart. Except for in the face. [takes a selfie] Camera phone. So I'm gonna laser finger your face off of your head. Oh, you can have my face. See, I'm gonna wear your face, and then you can go to jail. 'Cause you look like me. It's just a classic face-switch scenario.
Fantasy sequence ends.
Star and Marco [laughing]
Marco Oh, yeah. Oh, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Princess Smooshy It's not funny. [grabs Star]
Star [screams]
Marco Star!
Princess Smooshy runs off with Star. Marco chases them.
Marco Don't worry, Star. I'll save you!
Princess Smooshy and Marco slide down the stair railing.
Marco Whoaaa!
Marco pops out of the mouth of Star's head sculpture. He runs past Princess Smooshy, who hides her face behind a newspaper with the headline "PRINCESS MONSTER ON THE LOOSE." Marco walks back with his arms crossed.
Marco Ahem.
Princess Smooshy [puts newspaper down, laughs nervously]
Princess Smooshy grabs a vine, and she and Star are pulled upward. Marco grabs another vine and follows. Princess Smooshy and Star crash through the roof.
Princess Smooshy [takes a selfie] Camera phone.
As Princess Smooshy runs from Marco, Star's hair snags on an antenna. It recoils back and smacks Marco in the face.
Marco [yelps]
Princess Smooshy Nose grab!
Princess Smooshy climbs onto the roof of Star's loft with her trunk-like nose. She uses a pair of dimensional scissors to open a dimensional portal.
Princess Smooshy [laughing evilly]
Marco (o.s.) Stop!
Marco nearly slips on the roof tiles.
Marco Whoaaa...!
Princess Smooshy Be careful on this roof. It is slippery from the evening dew.
Star Let me go, you weirdy weirdo!
Princess Smooshy Is Marco small? Or is he just really far away? I can't tell. Laser finger.
Princess Smooshy starts lasering Star's face.
Star [screaming] Marco!
Marco Nooo!
Marco tries to climb onto the loft roof, but he's too short to reach. As he falls, he drops his "Dr. Marco" glasses. Marco puts on the glasses and sweater vest again.
Dr. Marco Glasses! Paper! Clothes! Book! [strikes a pose] Dr. Marco, Ph.D! You don't have to do this! I have an "A" in psychology! I can help you!
Princess Smooshy No, thank you.
Princess Smooshy approaches the dimensional portal.
Star Use your mind karate!
Dr. Marco Listen to me!
Princess Smooshy I already told you. I don't have any ears.
Dr. Marco Well, maybe that's why you're in this mess!
Princess Smooshy Okay, I do have ears. But I don't use them to listen to people. The only people I listen to is my mind. And right now, my mind is telling me to steal her face.
Dr. Marco [removes glasses] But you can't keep running from your problems. When you steal other people's faces, all you're really stealing is your future.
Princess Smooshy But... But I like my future.
Star smiles. Marco smiles.
Princess Smooshy ...I don't like my future! [takes a selfie] Camera phone. [laughing evilly]
Princess Smooshy begins stepping through the dimensional portal. Marco tosses the "PSYCH 101" textbook at her. It hits her in the face. Princess Smooshy drops Star and falls off the roof. The blue lion monster appears next to her.
Lion monster [growling]
Princess Smooshy [screaming]
Star and Marco wince as the lion monster attacks Princess Smooshy. Scene transitions to St. Olga's guards taking Princess Smooshy away.
Star Wow, Marco. You really saved my face.
Marco Yes! Finally!
Marco adds a check mark to his column on the notepad.
Star I don't get it. Why is this tally thing such a big deal to you?
Marco Uhhh... I don't know. I guess you're this magic princess from another dimension, and I'm just...
Star puts on Marco's "Dr. Marco" glasses.
Star Ahem. Star, Ph.D. Marco, you are awesome. We don't need to get caught up in who saves who. All that matters is that we have each other's back.
Marco Yeah. But this time... I totally saved you! Woo-hoo! Whoa!
Marco slips off the roof and hangs off the side.
Marco You're right. We shouldn't keep track anymore.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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