Episode begins at the Diaz Household. Marco is watching TV with his cape wrapped around his body and eating Cornritos off of it. Angie looks at him. | |
Angie Diaz | Oh, no. [walks up to Marco] Hey, there, big guy. |
Marco Diaz | Hey, Mama! |
Angie | So, you're ready for the new school year? |
Marco | Yup. Still getting used to Earth life, though. [slurps drink] |
Angie | Hmm. I see you're still wearing your cape. |
Marco | Of course. I'm a knight! |
Marco throws out his arms and legs, causing corn chips to fly everywhere. Some get caught in Angie's hair. | |
Angie | Did I ever tell you about my friend who spent a summer in France? In [snootily] France, everything was better – the arthouse films, the fashion, the croissants. She said it just like that – "croissant". Who does that? |
Marco | Wow, your friend sounds annoying. |
Angie | It was me, Marco. Croissant! |
Marco | Oh! [chuckles] But come on. I'm not annoying. I just wear a cape. |
Angie | Look, I'm sure everybody on Mooni wore a cape. |
Marco | Mewni. It's pronounced "Mew-ni". |
Angie | Marco, I'm just trying to help. |
Marco | And I'm just trying to help you properly say "Mewni". |
Angie | "Croissant! Croissant! It's pronounced croissant!" [walks away] |
Marco | Hey, hey, hey! No! No, no, no! I'm not the croissant girl! I earned this cape, and by golly, I'm gonna wear it! |
Marco's cape flaps in the breeze. Rafael stands near him fixing an electric fan. | |
Rafael Diaz | Good for you, Marco. The cape looks cool. |
Marco | Thanks, Dad. |
Scene cuts to the basement in Janna's house, where Janna, Ferguson, Alfonzo, and Marco are playing a Dungeons & Dragons-like tabletop role-playing game. | |
Janna Ordonia | You are chained to the wall of Azgorth's dungeon surrounded by his feral imps, and only one holds the key to your freedom. |
Ferguson O'durguson | What's in our surroundings? |
Janna | Nothing. |
Ferguson | I try and break the chains. |
Janna | [rolls multi-sided die] The imps eat your hands. |
Ferguson | Aah! |
Alfonzo Dolittle | Uh, I cast a healing spell! |
Janna | [rolls multi-sided die] The imps eat your hands. |
Ferguson | Marco! |
Marco | Oh, um... use the butter. |
Ferguson | What? There's no butter! Didn't you hear what she just said? There's nothing in our surroundings! |
Marco | Put it on the chains, slide your hands out, hide in the vents! |
Alfonzo | This isn't Mewni, Marco! It's not going to work. |
Janna | [rolls multi-sided die] It worked. You're free. |
Marco | Oh! Oh! Um, next we go find Ludo, say the Whispering Spell, destroy Toffee! |
Ferguson | No! This isn't Mewni! |
Janna | [rolls multi-sided die] Yeah, you destroy Toffee, save Mewni. Congratulations! [claps her hands] |
Marco | [claps hands like a seal] |
Ferguson | Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no! |
Alfonzo | It's okay, Ferguson! It's just a game! |
Marco | No. On Mewni, this actually happened! They made me a knight! |
A door slams off-screen. Ferguson and Alfonzo are gone. | |
Marco | Where... Where did Ferguson and Alfonzo go? |
Janna | They left. |
Marco | What? Why? |
Janna | Oh, they just get annoyed when you talk about Mewni all the time. It's no big deal. |
Marco | What? |
Scene cuts to Sensei Brantley's Tang Soo Do Dojo. | |
Marco | All right, Sensei. Just be straight with me, man. Am I annoying when I talk about Mewni? |
Sensei Brantley | Of course not, Marco. You had a life-changing experience on Mewni, and it changed you. |
Marco | Yeah, that's right. |
Sensei | And it changed me, too. |
Sensei ties a towel around his neck, pretending it's a cape, and turns on a nearby fan so it flaps in the breeze. | |
Sensei | [chortling] Look at it! Look at it! Yeah! |
Marco | Ohhh. Oh, it's a... It's a cape. |
Sensei | We're cape bros now, dude! |
Marco | Oh, that's... That's great. |
Sensei | Marco, you're making a face. |
Marco | What face? This face? It's just my face. |
Sensei | Hey, hey, hey. No secrets. We're cape bros now. |
Marco | Oh, well, it's no big deal, but I... I earned my cape. |
Sensei | Earned? Is that... a word you made up? |
Marco | I just went through a lot to get my cape. I mean, I helped save Mewni, you know? |
Sensei | Oh, yeah. [chuckles] I keep forgetting you have to earn things. [laughing, sobbing, sniffling] You're right, Marco. I guess I didn't "earn" this. [takes off his towel cape and throws it at Marco] |
Marco | No, Sensei. |
Sensei | I mean, did I really earn my red belt? [takes off his red belt and throws it at Marco] Or my green belt? [takes off green belt and throws it at Marco] I guess I didn't earn any belts! [throws several belts at Marco, chortles] You know, I expected this from my mother and my probation officer, but I didn't expect this from you. |
Sensei leaves. Scene cuts to Jackie's house. | |
Marco | You know, first Ferguson and Alfonzo were weird, and then Sensei was weird. [sighs] I... I hate to say this, but it's like my best friends are jealous of all that I've accomplished. |
Jackie Lynn Thomas | [sighs] Look, I get it. Earth and Mewni are totally different. It must be hard to readjust. |
Marco | No, J-Jackie, you don't get it. This isn't about me. This is about them not being able to accept what this means. |
Jackie | How long has it been since you took off your cape? |
Marco | [scoffs, sinks into beanbag chair] That's not relevant. |
Jackie | But it kind of feels like you went to Mewni and you never really came back. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but you haven't even asked about my summer. You've just been talking about yours. |
Marco | Oh, no. I'm the croissant girl. |
Jackie | What? |
Marco | Oh, Jackie, I'm so sorry. |
Jackie | W-What are you talking about? |
Marco | Jackie, I'm gonna make this up to you. |
Jackie | Make what up? |
Marco | You're never going to hear me say "croissant" again. |
Marco leaves Jackie's room, leaving Jackie very confused. Cut to next day. Jackie leaves her house while drinking a water bottle. Marco is at her doorstep with his hair gelled, wearing a blazer and bowtie over his hoodie, and holding a bouquet of flowers. | |
Jackie | [spits out water, laughs] |
Marco | What? |
Jackie | You look so... fancy. |
Marco | Okay, okay. [pulls off bowtie, straightens his hair, takes off blazer, clears throat] Jackie Lynn Thomas, I'm here to take you on the ultimate date. [gives Jackie the flowers] |
Jackie | Wait, seriously? |
Marco | I'm done with Mewni. See? No cape. I'm back, and I'm here for you. |
Jackie | Me, huh? Well, can you guess what I want to do right now? |
Marco | Oh, Jackie, you know I'm not good at this game. |
Jackie | [singsongy] Read my mind, Marco. |
Marco | Uh... |
Jackie | [points at her seashell necklace] |
Marco | Okay. You want to go to Seashell...ville? Shell Town. Shellville? Necklace Land. Necklace Land? Necklace Land! Shells? ...Seashell? Seashell Land? |
Scene cuts to the Echo Creek Pier. | |
Marco | Shelly. Mike and Shelly. You want to go to Mike and Shelly's house. |
Jackie | No, dude, we're here. [points at Echo Creek Pier sign] |
Marco | Ohhh, the pier! Okay, see, I-I never would have gotten that from a seashell. |
Marco and Jackie enter the pier holding hands. | |
Jackie | So, what exactly are you supposed to do on the ultimate date? |
Marco | Ohhh! How about... |
Marco runs up to a ball-tossing carnival game stand with several prize plushes on display. One of the plushes is of a karate dog. | |
Marco | ...I win you this cute dog thing? |
Jackie | Ha! Yeah, these guys kind of look like you! |
Marco | [gives money to stand owner] One dozen balls, please. |
The stand owner takes Marco's money and gives him a box of pink balls. Marco tries to toss a ball into one of the cups, but it bounces off the rim. | |
Marco | What? |
Marco throws multiple balls, but none of them go in the cups. | |
Marco | [groans] This thing is rigged. |
Jackie | Let me try. |
Jackie throws a ball and gets it in a cup on the first try. She throws several more balls, and they all land in the cups. A bell rings, and a sign pops up that says "HI SCORE". | |
Jackie | Sweet! |
Marco | How did you do that? |
Stand Owner | [gives plush karate dog to Marco] Grand prize for the lady. |
Marco | This is the best day of my life. [falls over] |
Jackie | Marco! |
Scene cuts to the pier's sweet shoppe, where Marco and Jackie are eating cotton candy. | |
Marco | Can you believe this is almost our three-month-iversary? |
Jackie | Yeah, we're like an old married couple. But we were doing long distance for, like, half the time. Don't think I wasn't jealous of that cute lady mime. |
A seagull swoops down and steals Jackie's cotton candy. | |
Jackie | Hey! Oh, n— Aww. |
Marco | Here, have some of mine. |
Jackie | Aw, thanks. [eats some of Marco's cotton candy] That's amazing of you, but I could actually go for some real people food. How much cash do you have on you? |
Marco | I don't know. $650? |
Jackie's mouth hangs open. Scene cuts to restaurant interior, where Marco and Jackie have eaten a lot of plates of food. | |
Marco and Jackie | [laughing] |
Marco | Whew, okay. Is there anything on the menu we haven't ordered yet? |
Jackie | There's that guy. [points to sad-looking lobster in the lobster tank] |
Marco | Aw, I can't eat him. He looks so sad. |
Jackie | We can fix that. |
Waiter | [turns around] Hey! What do you think you are doing?! |
Marco and Jackie stare at the waiter while trying to set the lobster free. | |
Jackie | Run! [laughing] |
Marco and Jackie run out of the restaurant with the lobster. | |
Waiter | [chases Marco and Jackie] Hey! Get back here! |
As the waiter chases after Marco and Jackie, he grabs Jackie's karate dog plush. | |
Jackie | Oh, no! |
Marco and Jackie run to the end of the pier, and Marco throws the lobster into the ocean. | |
Marco | Wow, he didn't even say goodbye. Not even a little claw wave or something. |
Jackie | Dude, it's a lobster. |
Marco | Oh. |
Scene cuts to Marco and Jackie sitting at the end of the pier, holding hands, and watching the sunset. | |
Marco | What are you thinking about? |
Jackie | Lobsters. We saved one, but we could have saved them all. |
Marco | Do you want to go back for them? |
Jackie | I kind of do, though. [jumps up and down] Freedom to lobsters! Death to fancy restaurants! |
Marco | [jumps up and down] Oh-ho-ho! Yeah! Whoo! [laughing] I finally feel like I'm back on Earth. |
Jackie | Is that a good thing? |
Marco | It's a great thing. |
Jackie | [hugs Marco] |
Marco | There's no place I'd rather be. |
While hugging Marco, Jackie opens her eyes and has a look of realization on her face. She lets go of him. | |
Jackie | Take off your shirt. |
Marco | [blushes] Huh?! |
Jackie | What? Just do it. |
Marco | [backs away from Jackie, chuckles nervously] But now? Why? It's just a... |
Jackie spins Marco around, reaches down the back of his hoodie, and pulls out his cape. | |
Jackie | Huh. |
Marco | [innocently] Whaaaaaaat? How did that get in there? |
Jackie sits down on a bench. | |
Jackie | Let's talk. |
Marco sits down next to Jackie. | |
Marco | Okay, I know this looks bad, but I'm fine. I can take it off anytime I want. |
Jackie | [sighs] Look, today was awesome, and it's really sweet that you're trying. But if you're forcing yourself to stay in Echo Creek just so I'll be happy, then we'll both end up miserable. You do see that, right? So, I figure now's a good time to give you an out. |
Marco | I want to make this work! [holds Jackie's hands] You're my best friend, Jackie. |
Jackie | [moans sadly] Oh, Marco. [kisses Marco on the cheek] We both know that's not true. |
Jackie takes out her skateboard and puts on her helmet. | |
Jackie | Stay amazing, okay? |
Jackie skates away. Marco watches her skate away, and his eyes start to water. | |
Marco | [sniffles, wipes tears away] |
Marco has a look of resolve. Scene cuts to next day outside Echo Creek Academy. | |
Principal Skeeves | Well, I now release you from the bonds of academia. Be free. [releases dove from a box] Or, uh, something like that. We've never sent a kid to another dimension before. |
Marco | Sure you have. It's just like what Star did when she did her exchange program. Just, you know, in the opposite direction. |
Skeeves | Well, I hope I'm not sending you off to your death. |
Janna, Alfonzo, Ferguson, and Sensei appear. Alfonzo is holding a sign that reads "GOODBYE MARCO" with a smiley face in the "O" in Marco's name. | |
Ferguson | Marco, hold on! You can't leave yet! |
Alfonzo | We want to say sorry for how we acted the other day. |
Marco | No, guys, I'm the one who needs to say sorry. I-I really haven't been around much, and... |
Ferguson | Dude, it's okay. Look, we... we brought you something. [gives Marco multi-sided die in display case] It's our lucky die. It'll grant you good fortune on your travels. |
Marco | Aw. Thanks, you guys. |
Sensei | For the record, I'm still mad at you. |
Marco | I know. But I got you something. |
Marco gives Sensei a red cape with the letter "S" on the back. | |
Sensei | [weeping] I'm gonna miss you so much! |
Marco | [chuckles] I'm gonna miss you too, man. |
Janna | I also got something for you. |
Janna gives Marco his social security card. | |
Marco | W-What?! How long have you had this?! |
Janna | Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to. [slowly backs away] |
Marco | [sighs] What a creep. |
Marco uses his dimensional scissors to open a portal to Mewni. | |
Marco | Well, I guess this is goodbye, guys. |
Rafael | I don't understand. We're just letting Marco leave school? Is this even legal?! |
Angie | Shhh. Marco needs to have his own French summer. |
Rafael | What? What is happening? |
Marco steps halfway into the portal and waves goodbye to his friends and family. They all wave back - except for Rafael, who looks confused. | |
Ferguson | Bye, Marco! |
Janna | Bye, Marco! |
Angie | Bye! Bye-bye! |
Marco walks through the portal and ends up in Mewni. He stares at Butterfly Castle. | |
(ending theme) |
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English
Sophomore Slump/Transcript
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