Episode begins inside Star Butterfly's wand; a star-shaped pad in the middle of a lounge-like room intermittently flashes with light. Spider With a Top Hat drops down from above with his web. Several of Star's summoning creatures suddenly pop into the room through the star pad, groaning as they enter.
Rock the Warnicorn Oh, man!
All [coughing and groaning]
Narwhal We got chewed up and spit out.
Spider With a Top Hat Why the sour wordplay, guys? [shoots web off-screen and pulls a six-pack of soda bottles] How about some cold ones for my number ones?
Multiple six-packs of soda bottles drop from the ceiling, suspended by Spider's webs. Spider throws sodas to his friends.
Spider Yeah, you're all my number ones! Ha-ha!
All [cheering]
Narwhal You're number one, Spider!
Spider I don't know why you guys are acting all sore, because the battle I saw was like, "Oh, I'm Mr. Bad Guy! I'm gonna eat up the childrens!" And then the warnicorns came in and were all, like, [roaring] And the bad guy was, like, [whimpering] "I didn't mean any harm!"
Rock He's totally right!
Spider "No, no!" [choking]
All [laughing]
Spider And the piece de resistance, that Narwhal Blast!
Spider jumps into the air and lands head-first inside his own top hat.
All [laughing and cheering]
Star Butterfly [on loudspeaker] Toothpaste Tidal Blast!
Rock You're up, bud.
A living tube of toothpaste jumps through the star pad.
Cupcake 1 Looks like Star's getting ready for bed.
Cupcake 2 See you guys in the morning.
Female Warnicorn Night, dude.
Minotaur Night.
Beanbag Sleep. [zips his mouth closed and walks away]
Narwhal Hey, Spider, we all really appreciate you. Everything we do is the most important life-or-death situation all the time, you know, and it's nice to be greeted with something frivolous, something light. See you in the morning, bud.
Spider Hey, Narwhal. For real, how do you do that Narwhal Blast?
Narwhal It's easy. You hear the call, and your warrior spell instincts kick in. It's like... Narwhal Blast! [flies into a pillar] But hey, I like the way you do it.
Spider Good night.
Scene cuts to Spider's bedroom. The alarm clock reads 10:00PM. Spider removes a poster that reads "DREAM BIG!" from his wall, revealing a painted target behind it. He moves away from the target and takes off his top hat.
Spider Spider with a Top Hat Blast!
He flings himself at the target with a thud and gently floats to the floor. He looks at the target and sees that nothing happened.
Spider I will break you. Spider with a Top Hat Blast! [hurls himself at target again] Oof! Blast! [hurls himself at target again] Ugh! Top Hat Blast! [hurls himself at target again] Oof! Top Hat Blast! [hurls himself at target again] Agh!
Scene cuts to outside Spider's bedroom.
Spider (o.s.) Top Hat Blast! Ugh! Top Hat Blast! Oof! Top Hat Blast! Ugh!
Spider's alarm starts to ring. He lies on his floor with bruises and bent legs.
Spider [groaning]
The alarm clock reads 7:00AM. Spider presses the Snooze button to stop the buzzing.
Spider [groaning, limps out of the room]
Spider turns on the wand's power switch. The other spells start coming out of their room. Spider drops from the top of the wand on a suspended bottlecap.
Spider Rise and shine! [swings around on web] Whoo! Whoo-hoo! [blows bubbles]
Rock Yeah!
Spider Morning! Whee!
Several spells bounce up and down on Spider's bubbles.
Spider Oh, everyone's happy!
All [exclaiming]
Spider Morning, spells! [falls over] Ooh!
All [gasping]
Spider [hops up and continues dancing] Ow! Ooh! Ow! [strikes pose]
All [cheering]
Spider Oww... [starts limping] Ow. Ow.
Makeup Blast Are you okay? What happened to your leg?
Spider Oh, I'm fine. I just slept funny.
Makeup Blast Oh, Spider, everything you do is funny! [giggling]
Spider [unamused]
Scene cuts to the gym. Several spells are seen lifting weights.
Rock Let's curl it!
Warnicorns [straining]
Spider Hey, Rock, can I work out a few sets with you?
Rock Hey, it's Spider! So you wanna work out with the big dogs? Wanna start with the one-ounce or the two-ounce?
Spider Actually, I want a big weight like you guys.
Rock Oh. Huh. Yeah, well, you should probably leave the big weights to us, Spider-dog.
Spider But I can do it.
Rock Uh... Well, he does have the headband. Okay.
Spider lies on a weightlifting bench with two warnicorns spotting him.
Spider Let 'er rip, boys!
Warnicorns [lower barbell on Spider]
Spider [struggling] I'm doin' it, guys! Guys, look! I'm doin' it!
Rock Uh, we haven't let go of it yet.
Spider [straining] Oh. Well, come on, let it go then.
The warnicorns let go of the barbell, and it flattens Spider.
Rock Spider? You good?
The warnicorns lift the barbell back up, and Spider is stuck to the bottom.
Spider [groaning] How do you do it? Take that kind of punishment every day and go back for more?
Rock I don't know. Push through the pain, I guess.
Female Warnicorn Yeah, I kinda like the pain, you know? [flexing muscles] Pain!
Rock [flexing muscles] Pain!
Both Pain! Pain! Pain!
Scene cuts back to Spider's bedroom at 10:00PM.
Spider Spider with a Top Hat Blast! [swings into wall target] Oof! Get up, Spider. Push through the pain. [shoots web at wall mirror and pulls it toward him] Is that the face of a quitter? No! [tosses mirror away] Warrior spirit! Spider with a Top Hat Blast! [hurls himself at target again, slides to the floor] Spider with a Top... Hat...
Something cracks.
Spider Huh?
Spider uses a magnifying glass to inspect the wall. There's a crack in it.
Spider [deep gasp]
Scene cuts to Spider knocking on Narwhal's door.
Narwhal [answers door] Spider?
Spider Narwhal, I got something to show you.
Narwhal [turns on lights] All right, what is it?
Spider [removes paintings from Narwhal's wall, sighs] Spider with a Top Hat Blast! [hurls himself at target] Ugh!
Narwhal [laughing] Dude, that's hilarious! [raucous laughter]
Spider No. I'm being serious.
Narwhal Oh, I thought you were kidding. [puts paintings back on wall] Look, singing and dancing is great, but fighting? You could get hurt. Or worse, you could get Star killed.
Spider [tearing up] ...Good night. [cries and runs away]
Narwhal Hey, Spider! Come on!
Makeup Blast [holding half-narwhal, half-makeup-blast infant] Honey, is everything all right?
Baby [crying]
Narwhal I hope so.
The next morning, Rock comes out of his room.
Rock [groaning and coughing, looks at watch] 11:30?! We overslept!
Narwhal I gotta get to work, honey! Everybody, up!
Star's spells assemble in the main wand room.
Rock This isn't good, guys! Where's Spider-dog?
Narwhal What happened to Spider? He didn't wake us up.
The spells gather around Spider, who is sulking on top of the star pad. He slinks to the floor. Makeup Blast picks him up and brings him over to the couch.
Makeup Blast Uh, Spider, you okay? You're acting funny.
Spider [looks annoyed]
Makeup Blast Not like funny-funny. Like something's wrong-funny. Everyone's really worried about you, especially me.
Female Narwhal Yeah, we missed your morning dance number with the bubbles.
Rock Yeah, and the lights.
Spider What? Did I fail to entertain you?!
Female Narwhal Um, yes, you did.
Spider Well, I'm sorry if I don't feel like being your little dancing clown today!
Female Narwhal [offended] Fine. We'll make our own coffee. [walks away]
Star [on loudspeaker] Cupcake Blast!
A large group of cupcakes enter the star pad.
Makeup Blast Come on, Spider. What's up?
Spider All of my life, I've had this crazy dream, and now, the dream is dead.
Star [on loudspeaker] Emerald Snake Strike! Honeybee Tornado Swarm! Flying Pig Blast!
Makeup Blast Wow, that's a lot of spells at once.
Star [on loudspeaker] Mega Narwhal Blast!
Narwhal and a group of other narwhals get sucked into the star pad.
Narwhal Whoa, whoa!
Makeup Blast Sweetheart?
Spider He'll be fine. It's not a big deal until she calls out the War—
Star [on loudspeaker] Warnicorn Stampede!
Rock and several other warnicorns jump into the star pad.
Star [on loudspeaker] Beanbag Monster Metamorphosis!
Beanbag gets sucked into the star pad.
Star [on loudspeaker] Toothpaste Tidal Blast!
The living toothpaste tube gets sucked into the star pad.
Spider Wait. Those aren't even warrior spells.
Makeup Blast This has never happened before! What do we do?
Star [on loudspeaker] Makeup Blast!
Makeup Blast [whimpering]
Makeup Blast gets sucked into the star pad. Spider is left all alone.
Spider Is anyone left? Hello?
Rock returns inside the wand, covered in bruises and with his horn partly broken.
Spider Rock!
Rock [groaning]
Spider [glues Rock's horn on his head with web]
Rock Star's calling you next.
Spider B-B-But I'm just an entertainment spell! I can't fight!
Rock You have a fire in you, Spider. I hear you in there, throwing yourself at that wall every night. [coughing] You've got the hat of a warrior.
Spider Hat?
Rock ...Wait. No. I mean heart. You've got the heart of a warrior, bro. You just gotta dig deep to find it. [coughing]
Rock starts to bleed rainbow blood on the floor.
Spider No! I can't do this alone!
Star [on loudspeaker] Spider with a Top Hat Blast!
Spider Whoooooaaaaaa!
Spider gets sucked into the star pad, and he travels through a magical tunnel to the outside of the wand.
Star [in distorted slow motion] ...Toooooop Haaaaaat Blaaaaaast!
Outside the wand, Spider finds a battlefield inside a nondescript house. Everything is smoldering, and his fellow spells lie around the floor in agony.
Winged Bunny [crying] Where's Rainbow Fist?! [wailing]
Rainbow Fist I can't see! I can't see!
Beanbag Spider! You have to help—!
Beanbag gets crushed by a giant monster's claw, and his mouth zipper flies toward Spider.
Spider Beanbag!
Marco Diaz A spider with a top hat?! How is that gonna help—?!
The monster eats Marco.
Star Marco!
Monster [ferocious roar]
One of the monster's claws grabs Star and drags her out of the house.
Star [screams]
Spider stares the monster in the face.
Monster [growling]
Spider [scared whimpering]
Rock appears in a thought bubble over Spider's head.
Rock [coughing] Bro, remember what I told you. You have the hat of a warrior. [kisses Spider on the head]
The thought bubble disappears. Spider picks up his top hat and puts it on his head.
Spider [scared whimpering]
Monster [growling]
Spider Uh, I'm Spider with a Top Hat...
Spider's top hat turns into a rotating minigun.
Monster [roaring]
Spider ...and a laser cannon! WAR CRY!!
Spider starts blasts the monster with a barrage of magic shots. Narwhal and Makeup Blast watch in awe. Tiny hat-shaped bullet shells clatter to the floor. The monster slinks back into the shadows, and Spider's laser cannon stops shooting. The monster disappears. Spider's minigun turns back into a top hat. In a blinding flash of light, the house returns to normal. Marco sits in the fireplace with bruises and rips in his clothes.
Marco [groaning, gasps] Star? Spider with a Top Hat did it!
Star My little top hat. Strongest spell I've got.
Spider holds his top hat, and gunsmoke pours out of the bottom. Scene shifts back to wand interior; all of Star's summoning creatures are gathered around Spider.
Makeup Blast You did great out there, Spider!
All [cheering]
Rock Any time you wanna get pumped up with us, it's okay with me!
All [cheering]
Scene fades to the "DREAM BIG!" poster on Spider's wall.
Star [on loudspeaker] Spider with a Top Hat Blast!
Spider wakes up in his spider web hammock with a smile.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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