Star on Wheels/Transcript

	(theme song)
	Scene opens with Marco riding Star around on his bicycle, though he strains to do so.
Star Butterfly	Faster Marco, faster.
Marco Diaz	[grunts as they climb a hill]
Star	Stairs!! [voice fluctuates as both bounce down them] Woowee!
Marco	That's it.
Star	Huh?
Marco	If you love bike riding so much, you should learn to ride one yourself.
Star	You can do that? Teach me, teach me, teach me!
	Briefly later
Star	[whimpers] You're not gonna let me fall, are you, Marco?
Marco	Nope. I got you by the seat.
Star	You won't let go?
Marco	I won't let go.
Star	Promise?
Marco	Yes, I promise Star.
Star	Okay. Vroom!
Marco	[grabs Star] Okay, hold on. First, this bike is not a toy. It's my baby. My honey. Custom tuned alloy spokes, sweet ergonomic grips, custom forged titanium fork [kisses bike].
Star	Okay, but where are the giant invisible goats?
Marco	Invisible goats?
Star	Come on, you know. To pull you! Everything ow Mewni is pulled by invisible goats.
Marco	What? Uh, there are no giant invisible goats. On Earth, we use pedals.
Star	Oh, cute! On Mewni, only flowers have petals.
Marco	Okay, the first step of biking is to coast.
Star	Okay, you've got the seat.
Marco	I've got the seat.
Star	Huh? Oh! Hey, I got this. Yes! Okay, Marco, you can let go of the seat now. I think I'm ready to do it on my own.
Marco	Oh, I already let go of the seat.
Star	What?
Marco	Yep, you've been riding all by yourself.
Star	Marco! You said you'd hold onto the seat. You lied to me!
Marco	Ah, come on. I did it to give you confidence, and look at you. You're awesome, and I taught you everything you know.
Star	Except how to stop [begins rolling down a steep hill]
Marco	What?! [shouting] Use the brakes.
Star	You never taught me... [screaming] how!!!
	Marco runs home as fast as he can and enters Star's room.
Marco	Call Star.
Mirror	Calling Star.
Star	[continuous screaming] Hi Marco [spits out bugs hitting her face]
Marco	You have to use the brakes. Just put your feet on the pedals and push back.
Star	That doesn't even make sense. It's spinning the other way. This princess says no thank you.
Marco	Fine. Do you have your wand?
Star	Oh, dip. It's in my backpack.
	Marco grabs the bag and runs outside, discovering Oskar playing keytar in his car.
Marco	Uh... Oskar? What are you doing in my driveway?
Oskar Greason	Hmm, I thought this was my studio. JK. Everywhere's my studio.
Marco	[throws his backpack inside] Whatever. Just drive. That way.
Oskar	Seatbelt.
Marco	[looks for belt] Uh, why is your car filled with garbage?
Oskar	Yeah, it's sort of a live/work space. [reaches into bag and pulls out a marmot] Oh hey, it's Gene. Oh double hey, it's my keys.
Marco	Go!
	Scene jumps to Star. She spies a mother holding her baby crossing the street.
Star	Stop! [looks at traffic light] Don't walk. It says don't walk! Aah! [crashes through a painting] Sorry.
	Oskar's honks his horn as they recklessly catch up.
Marco	Oskar, Oskar, Oskar, Oskar!
	Oskar's Math textbook flies on top of the dashboard. It opens up to reveal Glossaryck.
Oskar	Cool. Little book dude.
Marco	Glossaryck.
Glossaryck	Pop quiz, Mr. Diaz: Where is Star, and why do you have her wand?
Marco	I was teaching Star how to ride a bike. She doesn't know how to stop.
	Glossaryck squints at the road ahead.
Star	Help.
Glossaryck	Hmm. Where are the giant invisible goats?
Marco	Arggg. There are no giant invisible goats. Star doesn't have her wand; you have to help her.
Glossaryck	Hmm [begins to hum, creates a meatball sub, and begins to eat it]
Marco	What?! Are you joking?
Glossaryck	Boy, this isn't a magic problem, and thusly is beyond my control.
Oskar	Whoa, you put corn chips on your subs? That is dope.
Glossaryck	I love the crunch! You must try it [creates another sub]
Oskar	Whoa! Cheers.
Glossaryck	Cheers.
Marco	Uh...
Glossaryck	Ohh! What is that? [points at keytar]
Oskar	You play?
	The car crashes through a building. Many people begin screaming.
Oskar	Okay, now to the right [car swerves right]. Back to the left [car swerves left]. You're getting it. Now put one finger here.
Marco	Can you guys stop goofing around?! Star is in trouble!
Glossaryck	[using synthesized voice on keytar] Trouble, Trouble...
Oskar	Oh, yeah. MC Oskar on the mic. Marco make some noise!
	The pair starts throwing down a beat
♪♫	Trouble, trouble, tr-tr-tr trouble
Star	[screams]
♪♫	Trouble, trouble, tr-tr-tr-tr trouble
Oskar	[rapping] ♪ Now in my car, I am the boss ♫
Star	Ugh!
Oskar	♪ Tracking down Star at any cost ♫
Star	[swerving to avoid traffic signs] Whoa. Ahgg.
Oskar	♪ Booker can't help 'cause there is no magic. Star will b e fine, this won't end tragic. ♫
♪♫	Trouble, tr-tr-trouble. Trouble, trouble
Star	[jumps to avoid a sign] Yeah!
Oskar	♪ Got sloppy hot rhymes like a meatball sub. Little book dude he is my bud. Drivin' through signs 'cause we doin' our thing. Marco lookin' chill like he relaxing ♫
Marco	Oskar, could you maybe be looking at the road?
Star	[to some barking dogs] Oh, you are just so cute. ra-ra-ra-ra-rawr. Woof. Okay, Mama doesn't have time to play. Shoo, shoo.
Oskar	Uh, I'm out of rhymes. Wiggly fan man, take the mic. [wiggly fan man ripples in the wind]
Marco	Great song. Number one hit. Now can we just get focused on Star getting her wand back?
Oskar	I'm with you man, but I don't think we can get to her before the...
Star	Sinkhole?
Marco	[panicking] A sinkhole⁈
Star	[screams, begins flapping her wings to avoid crashing] Good work, wings.
	The dogs pursuing her fall into the sinkhole.
Marco	If only those dogs had been wearing helmets.
Oskar	Wish we had some.
	Marco, Oskar, and Glossaryck scream as the vehicle flies over the sinkhole, safely landing on the other side.
Marco	Star, pedal in reverse. It will work. Trust me.
Star	I don't trust you anymore, Marco Diaz. Besides, I'm moving forward. Pedaling backwards doesn't make any sense.
Oskar	I know just how she feels 'cause I can't stop either. The brakes are out. Steering wheel too.
Marco	Whaaat! [car speeds up] Everybody lean!
	Marco forces everyone to the left side of the car, causing it to serve and not hit Star.
Oskar	Cuddle puddle.
Marco	Star, [holds out backpack] quick, the wand. Use your magic.
Star	What? [sees Oskar, stops paying attention] Oskar!
Marco	Star wait. Your wand [gasps].
	The car hits a dirt ramp and flies over a factory smokestack.
Oskar	Total eclipse!
	It crashes down on the street.
Marco	[gasps]
Star	Marco!!
Marco	Star!
Star	[shrieks, as a large truck barley misses her]
Marco	I should've never let go of her seat.
Glossaryck	Okay, no more kidding around. This calls for magic. [chants, stomach growls] Uh... which is what I'd do if I hadn't eaten that... ooh... that meatball sub [groans].
Oskar	Word [groans].
Glossaryck	Okay, it's up to you, Marco. Give her wand to her, and save her life.
Marco	How? The car's wrecked.
Glossaryck	Ride the invisible goats, of course. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna be sick [vomits].
Marco	[angrily stammers] For the last time, there are no giant invisible goats.
Glossaryck	Sure there are; you just need to believe. If you want to save Star, trust in goats [vomits].
Marco	Fine. If it saves Star, I'll believe.
Oskar + Glossaryck	Believe, believe, believe, believe, believe!
	Marco trust falls off the car wreckage and lands on an invisible goat.
Goat	[Bleats]
Marco	I'm on an invisible goat! [laughs] Okay goat, tally [goat takes off]whoa!! Whoa!
	The goat tramples through the street, smashing several cars, successfully catching up with Star
Marco	Star, take the wand.
Star	Marco, you're my hero... who I'm still upset with for lying to me about holding my seat.
Marco	Come on, give me one more chance. Hurry!
	A oncoming car causes the goat to swerve, and Marco drops the wand.
Marco	Aah!
Star	Help, help, help! [screams]
Goat	[bleats]
Marco	You're gonna have to stop the bike by yourself. Pedal in reverse.
Star	I told you, that is not how we do things on Mewni.
Marco	You're not on Mewni anymore, Star, and if I can believe in an invisible goat, then you can stop that bike. [grabs seat] I got you. Trust me.
Star	Thanks, Marco. But you believing in me is all I need.
	Star lets Marco let the seat go, and she pushes back on the pedals, screeching to a stop.
Marco	Star!
Goat	[bleats]
Marco	I was so worried about you.
Star	Marco, you were right. I can ride a bike. And I am awesome at it.
Oskar	How about Mysterious Sonograms? That's a good band name.
Glossaryck	Hmm, but does it match our sound?
Star	Hey Oskar, I'm really sorry about your car, but if you want, I can give you a ride home on my bike.
Glossaryck	Cool. Hey Glossaryck, Gene, hop on.
Star	Safety first [creates a helmet with her wand]. Marco, you coming?
Marco	No thanks Star. I'll take the goat. [whispering] Believe [falls face first on to the ground]
Glossaryck	[laughs] Oh Marco, the goat left long ago [laughs]
Marco	[groans]