Stump Day/Transcript

	(theme song)
	Scene opens outside Mewni castle, bathed in snow.
Merchant	Stumps here. Get your fresh stumps here.
Kid	Daddy, can we go sing some Stump carols?
Father	Oh not until we get you some cocoa first!
Kid and Father	[laugh]
	Inside the castle, Star Butterfly breathes onto a window. When condensation forms on it, she wipes part of it away to form a smiley face before breathing on the window again. Scene jump to King Butterfly, banging a wooden mug with a spoon.
King Butterfly	Good evening, everyone. Please gather round.
Star	[gasps excitedly, runs over and sits next to Marco Diaz, knocking him over]
King Butterfly	Today we pay thanks to the roots of our kingdom! [gestures to a stump] To the Stump!
Mewman	To the Stump!
All	To the Stump!
Star	Yes! To the Stump! Whoo hoo!
Baby	Tell us the story of Stump Day, Uncle River.
King Butterfly	Ha ha ha ha! You don't tell me what to do. Now, let me tell you the story of the first Stump Day. Centuries ago, a small band of explorers crashed their ships on Mewni. After weeks of traveling, they began to get on each other's nerves.
Star	Aah! Oh, no.
King Butterfly	They planned to go their separate ways, but suddenly, a blizzard struck. Blizzard! And the crew was forced to survive by huddling together around a giant tree stump to keep warm and share supplies. They forged a lasting bond that day, and decided not to split up after all. To commemorate the occasion, they carved their initials on the back of the stump, and the kingdom of Mewni was born! And that is why, each year, we come together and honor the Stump through our friendships for a full 24 hours. [sinister] Or else.
Marco	Or else?
Star	Shhhhhhhh!
King Butterfly	Thank you, everyone, for making this a Stump Day to remember!
All	[applause]
Baby	Do you think the Stump will visit me tonight?
Girl	Come on. Only babies believe in the Stump.
Star	Oh, don't listen to her. I know the Stump is real, and if you've been good, the Stump will never visit. [runs over to her parents, hugs] Happy Stump Day, Mom and Dad. [runs over to Marco, hugs] Happy Stump Day, Marco. Happy Stump Day, everyone.
Marco	You're really into this, huh?
Star	Oh, you have no idea. This is my favorite holiday. It is so special.
Marco	[laughs] More special than you think.
	Scene jumps to later that night. Star is singing while brushing her teeth
Star	♪ All hail the Stump, for it is great and kind ♪ ♪ Don't anger the Stump, or it will be unkind ♪ ♪ The Stump is our savior, we praise it on this day ♪ ♪ Keep the Stump in your heart, and let it lead the way ♪ [spits, gets in bed] Ah! The perfect Stump Day.
	There's a knock on her door. It creaks open.
Star	The Stump! [pulls up covers]
Marco	Star? Are you decent?
Star	[yelling] Marco! Ugh! Quit creeping around, you creep. [throws pillow at him] It's Stump Day.
Marco	Sorry, sorry. Uh, can you come downstairs for a second? One of the windows is stuck, and I need your magic to fix it.
Star	Sure. I can... I can do that. It is Stump Day, after all.
Marco	Stump-tacular.
Star	A good try, Marco.
	Scene changes to another room.
Marco	It's right over here.
Star	Uh, Marco, I can't see anything.
	The lights flip on. Tom Lucitor, Janna Ordonia, Kelly, and StarFan13 are gathered in a room filled with decorations. Above, there's a banner reading "Happy Quinceañera Star", and there's a large cake on the table.
All	Surprise!
Starfan13	[snaps a photo of Star's face, laughs]
	The photo drops to the floor. In it, Star looks very distraught.
Marco	Your birthday always falls on Stump Day, so we decided... [yelling] surprise quinceañera! Hit it!
	A mariachi band starts playing.
Band	♪ Cumpleaños feliz. Cumpleaños feliz ♪
Star	Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no! Oh, no, oh, no! [screams, runs over to the band, grabs the guitar, smashes it]
Marco	Star, wha-what's wrong?
Star	We never celebrate my birthday on my actual birthday, Marco, because it's Stump Day.
Band Member	¿Lo que es un día de tocón?
Star	¡Es un día muy importante!
Marco	But it's your birthday, too. Isn't that pretty important?
Star	Not as important as the Stump. Today is the Stump's day. [pops balloon]
Kelly	Oh, come on, Star. Don't tell me you still believe in the Stump.
Pony Head	Yeah, that's a baby story. Like, for babies.
Tom	Awe, I think it's cute. [holds Star]
Star	Get off me, non-believer. [kneeling] O, great Stump, I beg your forgiveness, for they [points to Earthlings] do not know the ways of the Stump, and they [points to others] are but foolish teenagers.
Marco	Wait, so the Stump is real?
Kelly, Tom, and Ponyhead	No!
Kelly	It's just a manipulative fairy tale...
Tom	...that parents tell their kids...
Pony Head	...so that they're less annoying during the holidays.
Star	He he. Okay, everyone, thank you so much for this magnificent party. I am overwhelmed with joy. Really. But unfortunately, I cannot celebrate my birthday today. As the song goes, ♪ We honor the Stump each year ♪ [kicks over tower of presents]♪ To this we have sworn ♪ [smashes plate of cookies] ♪ If we anger the Stump, We'll wish we were never born ♪ [takes Sombrero off Stump, screams and chases the band away]
Janna	[bumping Tom] That's my girl.
Star	[struggling with the band] Come on, guys, help me honor the Stump.
Marco	Um, Star.
Star	[pops balloons frantically]
Marco	What gives? It took me a long time to set up these decorations and bake your favorite flavor of cake, rainbow. I even imported a mariachi band all the way from Earth just so you could have a birthday.
	The lead band member pulls out another guitar, and they start to sing.
Band	♪ Cumpleaños feliz ♪
Marco	Guys, not now.
Band	[stops]
Marco	Look, Star, I think I know what this is really about. You're afraid of getting older. It's cool. We've all been there.
Star	What? No, this isn't like that at all.
Pony Head	Yeah, Marco, you know what? Maybe this is really about you, and how you have to control every situation like a maniac. Okay? I mean, you didn't even ask Star if she wanted a birthday party. [scoffs] That's rude.
Marco	Because that would've ruined the surprise. Duh!
Tom	I told you this was a bad idea, dude, but you didn't wanna listen.
Marco	Well, at least I wanted to throw Star a party. You didn't plan anything, and you're supposed to be her boyfriend.
Kelly and Janna	Whoa!
Pony Head	Ohhhh! Oh!
Tom	What?
Kelly	[whispering] Marco, take it back.
Marco	You heard me, Lucitor.
Tom	Uh, I didn't plan anything, because unlike you, I actually thought about what Star would want.
Marco	Did you? Because this morning, it kinda seemed like you forgot.
Tom	Oh ho ho. That's it. [bursts into flame] I'm gonna pound you into next Stump Day.
	He hurls a fireball at Marco, but he misses and almost hits the band.
Band Leader	¡Es el diablo!
	Tom dives at Marco, and the two start wrestling.
Star	Boys, stop it.
Tom	[putting Marco in a chokehold] Say I'm a good boyfriend.
Marco	Never.
Pony Head	Whoa! Happy birthday, Star. It's the ultimate gift. Two boys are fighting over you.
Star	Ugh!
Janna	All right, dinner and a show.
Kelly	How can you say that? Marco almost got burnt to a crisp.
Janna	Geez, Kelly, chill out. Are you just mad because Marco's fighting Tom over Star instead of you?
Kelly	What? Why would you say that?
Tad	Yeah, Kelly, why would you say that?
Kelly	Tad! Ugh! You need to move out.
Star	Guys, stop it. Tom, I really don't care if you forgot it was my birthday.
Tom	I didn't forget.
Marco	Yes, he did.
Star	It doesn't matter, stop fighting!
Starfan13	I'm mad because Star is mad.
Pony Head	No one is paying attention to me. Also, this party has no hotties.
Band Leader	[gasps]
	Everyone in the room continues to shout over each other.
Star	No! See what I mean? We've angered the Stump, and now it's tearing us apart. [runs over and opens window]
Pony Head	Girl, what is wrong with you? Have you gone insane? It's freezing out there.
Star	That's right, Pony. Nice and freezing. Just like the settlers felt on their first winter. [grabbing Kelly] Let the cold settle deep into your bones. We believe!
Kelly	No, we don't.
Star	Ugh! Yes, we do. Tell the Stump you believe, Marco. Tell it!
Marco	I believe... we're all gonna get hypothermia. [closes window] Look, isn't someone gonna do something here?
Janna	I'm on it. [puts stump in fire place]
Star	Janna, no!
Janna	Ah, that's nice.
	Everyone but Star gathers around the fireplace.
Janna	Get away from my stump.
Star	Oh, no!
	Thunder crashes outside, revealing a large stump-like shadow.
Star	It's here.
	Tree roots start creeping in through the door. They start grabbing ahold of Janna.
Janna	Marco, if you wanna give me a back rub, just ask.
	Marco's staring at Janna in horror. The stump pulls Janna into darkness.
Janna	[screams]
	The stump rises in through the floor. Its carved initials ooze with orange yellow fluid.
Tom	It's real.
Tom, Kelly, and Ponyhead	[pull out stumps figures, get on knees] We believe. We believe!
	The Stump swipes their smaller stumps away from them.
Janna	It's too late for that.
	The Stump swings another branch/vine at the three. Queen Moon and King River come bursting in.
King Butterfly	Kids, what is all this ratchet?
	They continue to scream as the Stump grabs Tom, Kelly, and Pony Head.
Queen Butterfly	Oh, no.
King Butterfly	The Stump is real.
Star	Wait. You didn't believe in the Stump?
King Butterfly	Honey, it's a stump!
	The stump grabs all the Butterflys and Marco.
Marco	I should've believed you, Star.
Kelly	I should've respected the Stump.
Tom	I'm sorry for being a bad boyfriend.
Pony Head	And I'm truly sorry that I was so hard on Earth Turd, except not really, 'cause he's improved as a person with my thoughtful criticism.
Janna	At least we all get to die together. That's kinda cool.
Queen Butterfly	I'm sorry for blaming you, Star. I love you.
Star	I love you, too, Mom. I love you, Dad. I love all of you.
	Star grabs Marco's hand. Marco grabs Tom's. Tom extends his foot to Janna. They close their eyes. When they open them, everyone is gathered around on a circle holding limbs.
Marco	We're... okay. We did it. The Stump spared us 'cause we all came together.
Star	No Marco, it left 'cause it's midnight, and Stump Day is over. It was definitely gonna kill us.
Marco	Oh.
Star	Thank you, great Stump, wherever you are.
Marco	Um, why are you thanking it? You just said it wanted to kill us.
Star	Oh, I know. But it also reminded us just how much we mean to each other, even in the face of certain death.
King Butterfly	In a way, this has been the best Stump Day of all, though it will be very expensive to repair the damage to the castle.
Queen Butterfly	And we'll have to have an extra big celebration next year, just to make sure things are cool between us and the Stump.
King and Queen	[laugh nervously]
Star	Hey, Marco. I just wanted to say thank you for planning this party for me. It was really sweet, even if the timing wasn't that great.
Marco	No problem. You know, with all the infinite dimensions that exist, it's still your birthday somewhere, right? [holds up plate of cake]
Star	[takes the plate]
Marco	[to band] Hey, guys, it's safe to come out now.
Band	[gathers to their feet]
Marco	You cool with this?
Star	Mm-hmm.
Marco	All right guys! ¡A uno, dos, tres!
	The band begins playing music as all the teenagers begin to dance to the music.