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(theme song)
Episode begins at Butterfly Castle. In her office, Queen Butterfly looks over a stack of papers.
Queen Moon [sighs, leans back in her chair]
Star kicks the door open with a grunt.
Moon [screams, falls over]
Star Mama, I need to talk to you! I can't believe it!
Moon Star, I'm in the middle of—
Star tosses all of the books and papers off of Moon's desk.
Star It's blowing my beautiful mind!
Moon Okay. [gathering papers off the floor] I have been meaning to talk to you as well. We need to discuss what happened at the temple.
Star Right?! Isn't it bonkers that Heinous is Eclipsa's daughter?! Mina told me everything!
Moon Mina? What are you talking about? Listen, I won't have you making up ridiculous stories to distract from the real issue here. The little party you threw at the Monster Temple? I told you that it was dangerous to rush the Mewman and monster relationship. You should have checked with me first.
Star What? No, that's not what I'm talking about! Besides, you should've checked with me before you sent Rhombulus in to storm the whole place!
Moon Rhombulus? I didn't send Rhombulus.
Star Lies!
Moon You barge in here with ridiculous claims about Heinous, make a mess in my office, and then call me a liar? I don't have time for this!
Moon casts magic to levitate Star out of the office.
Star [grunting] What?! H-Hey! No-no-no-no! I am not finished talking about this yet! What are we gonna do about Heinous?! How could you do this to your precious baby girl?!
Moon You're not a baby, so stop acting like one! [slams office door]
Star [grunts] I'm not a baby? I'll show you a baby. No! I came here to talk about Heinous, and that's just what I'm gonna do. [bumps into King Butterfly] Ugh!
King River There you go, rushing into things again.
Star Ugh! Dad, now is not the time! I really need to talk to Mom!
River [picks up Star and puts her down in front of him] Ah, you don't know what you need.
Star I'm sorry?
River But I do. [rips off his clothes] Hunting trip!
Star What?!
River Just like my father did with me, his father did with him, and his father did with him!
Star Just right after I talk to Mom about this—
River grabs Star and carries her away from Moon's office door.
River [laughs] That's what I said to my father before me, and what he said to his father before him, and his father before him, and his brother...
Star Uggghhh! Daaaad!
Scene cuts to Forest of Certain Death. River wades through a stream carrying sleeping bags, a bow, and arrows over his head.
River [grunting]
Star Dad, what are we doing here? We have a royal family crisis on our hands!
River [climbs out of the stream] There's always a crisis.
Star [takes out compact mirror] Okay, I'm just gonna call Mom and—
River [grabs compact mirror] No, you don't. [eats compact mirror]
Star Papa, what are you doing?!
River [swallows] Ahhh!
Moon's voice [muffled in River's stomach] Hello? Hello? Star, is that you?
River [pokes his belly to end phone call] She's busy. Starship, listen to me. This is a very important hunt, and I want you here for it. Once it's over, you can return to your little crisis, but until then, you're all mine. Deal?
Star Fiiiiiine. Can we please hurry, then?
River As soon as we find Eddie.
Eddie [appears out of a bush] I'm right here!
Star and River Aah!
Eddie That's me, Eddie. I have the markings of a plant, but in fact, I'm just a regular fella.
River Oh! [laughs] Eddie, you old bottom dweller!
Eddie [chuckles] True, I am a bit of a creeper.
Star Yeah. You are.
Eddie So, what brings you to this neck of the parts?
River The Bogbeast of Boggabah!
Eddie Wow-wee. Is it that time already?
Star Bogbeast? [takes out her wand] Sounds easy enough.
Eddie Ah, you're a first-timer, clearly.
River This is no trifle matter! The last thing you want is to face the beast ill-prepared.
Eddie I remember my first Bogbeast hunt. It did not go well. Well, I'll alert the others! You better get prepped! [crouches down in bush and crawls away]
Star How long is this gonna take?
River It takes as long as it takes!
Eddie [appears again, whispering] Listen for the Bogbeast song. That's when you know it's near.
River (o.s.) Come, Star!
Star [groans] Coming...
Scene cuts to a tribal tent in a forest clearing.
River Okay, the first ritual is to cleanse our minds of fear! [pours water on hot coals] The beast can smell your fears before you're even afraid.
Star Uh-huh. Okay, yeah. So what do we do first?
River We sweat! [lightly shaking]
Star O... kay. [lightly shaking]
After several moments, a bead of sweat appears on River's forehead.
River [strained] Look, look! I got one!
Star Ugh, forget this. Summoning Cloudy Charm!
Star summons Cloudy to rain on her and River, flooding the tent.
Star We good here?
Scene cuts back to forest. River rolls up to a bunch of leaf clumps.
River [spits] It's time to learn how to be one with our surroundings. [gathers leaves around himself] Voilá! The ancient skill of camouflage! But before you start, you must check every leaf carefully.
Star Yeah, I have a better idea.
Star uses her wand to completely cover herself with leaves.
River No! You'll accidentally pick up the baby bog dragons that live there!
Star Huh?
Five bog dragons appear in Star's coat of leaves.
Bog dragons [squeaking, breathing fire]
Star Easy, little dragon babies.
[flames whoosh]
Star [screams]
Star is covered in soot with her hair blown back. The bog dragons run away.
Star [sighs] Next task!
River dusts off a tree stump and pats it.
River Mewman hair-braiding is very important.
Star Oh. [sits on stump]
River It teaches focus and attention to detail! [tugs on Star's hair]
Star Ugh! Dad!
River [humming and laughing]
River ties Star's hair into braids.
River There! [knocks Star off stump] Now do me.
Star [growls]
Deep, low tones suddenly emerge from the deep forest.
Star The Bogbeast song! Let's go get it!
River Honey, we must finish the rituals.
Star But—!
River Make me pretty!
Star Fine-fine-fine-fine! [quickly ties in a knot in River's beard] Done!
River Thank you, pumpkin. Next ritual!
River walks away and drags along Star, who accidentally got one of her braids caught in River's beard knot.
Star [grunting] Dad!
River collects sap from a tree in a small wooden bowl.
River Okay. The last ritual is to teach focus. [mixes leaves and twigs into sap] To protect ourselves, we must cover our bodies with ancient markings!
River unrolls a small scroll with markings drawn on it.
Star Ahhh! Like tattoos?
River No! Ancient markings!
Star That doesn't seem hard. And kinda cool.
River [dips stick into sap] Dip the stick. Careful. Slowly.
As Star holds up the scroll, River draws markings on his arms.
River There we are!
Star Way ahead of you!
Star has a crude, splattered mess of sap on her arm.
Star Fascinating! Can we start the hunt now?
River Yes! Just one hundred more scrolls to go! [unrolls another, much larger scroll]
Star [gasps, groans]
Scene cuts to Star drawing markings on River's back.
River Make sure you get the curve. Don't forget the curve at the end.
Star Uh-huh, uh-huh. Got the curve. There, I'm done!
River Very good, milkshake! Now, let's see what you—
The top of River's back reads "BOY BEATZ" in sap.
River "Boy Beatz"? [laughs] That's supposed to say "Bogbeast"! Ha! I'm afraid we'll have to start all over.
Star What?! [flustered groan] All right, I'll get the ink, and then—
River Oh, no. I mean all over. From the very beginning! Tallyho-ho! [runs off-screen]
Star [whispering] Whaaaaat? Ugh.
Scene cuts from Star and River forcing themselves to sweat in the tent, to covering themselves in leaves, to braiding their hair, to painting markings on their bodies again.
Star [panting] Okay! We sweated, we camouflaged, we braided, and we protected our bodies with ancient scroll thingies! I... am... ready!
River Wait! I'll tell you if you're ready or not! Look into my eyes.
Star and River stare into each other's eyes.
River Hmm... Mm-hmm... Yes. You are ready! [back cracks] Ack! My back! Don't worry. This happens all the time. Just need to sit down. [lies down on sleeping bag]
Star But I'm ready!
River [zips up sleeping bag] Actually, no, you're not. I lied. Just as my father lied to me, and his father lied to him, and his father lied. He was a liar. Now, come lay down, and we'll start over fresh in the morning. [snores]
Star What?! You're asleep?! Ugh! Okay. [climbs into sleeping bag]
Wind whistles through the forest. The Bogbeast's song echoes again, and Star's eyes open pop open.
Star He's here. That's it!
Star bursts out of her sleeping bag in a new outfit.
Star Bogbeast, I'm coming for you!
Various accessories magically appear on Star's outfit, giving her the appearance of a huntress. Her wand transform into a bow.
Star [screaming] Bogbeast! [runs into a muddy bog] Yow! Ugh! Oh! Are you kidding me?! I don't have time for this!
The Bogbeast's song echoes once again.
Star What the? Ugh!
Star fires an arrow behind her and gets even more stuck in the mud.
Star [grunting] Uh... Hello? Hello? Who is there?
Mud is suddenly thrown in Star's face.
Star [groans] Bogbeast, is that you?
Star sinks further into the mud, and her wand sinks completely.
Star No!
A shadowy figure with antlers approaches from behind Star.
Star Don't— Don't— Don't come any closer! [screaming]
Someone puts a crown of antlers on Star's head.
Star What? Huh?
River appears next to Star wearing a pair of stump shoes.
River Greetings, all! [laughing] I present you the Bogbeast of Boggabah!
A crowd of Mewmans appear around the bog, cheering. Some start playing bluegrass music. One blows a horn that sounds like the Bogbeast's song.
Star Dad?
Mud is thrown in Star's face again.
River Congratulations, pumpkin! [laughs]
Star Uh... [chuckles] What? Me? I am not the Bogbeast.
River Of course you are! We've all been the Bogbeast at one point or another! Old Eddie here has even been the Bogbeast twice!
Eddie [laughs] I never learn!
River Being impulsive and running into situations headfirst without thinking is your specialty, dear. But it's also what makes a Bogbeast. You have so much greatness in you. I don't want anything to stand in your way, especially yourself. Please remember this hunt always.
Star [hugs River] I will, Dad.
Mewman Bog party, everybody!
River Sorry, not this time. I promised Star we'd go home. She has stuff that she needs to do.
Crowd Awww...
Star You know what? My stuff can wait 'til morning. I think I can squeeze a little bog party in.
River Bog party!
Crowd [cheering, playing music]
Star, River, and the Mewmans start dancing. Scene cuts to next day at Butterfly Castle. Star walks up to Moon's office door covered in mud.
Star [sighs] Okay. [knocks on door]
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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