The Monster and the Queen/Transcript

	Episode begins in Star's secrets closet in her bedroom; Star is writing in her diary.
Star Butterfly	"Now that Seahorse is in prison for queen-napping Eclipsa, Pony Head thinks he's hot again." But he's in jail. They're never going to see each other.
	There's a clattering behind Star.
Star	Hey! Glossaryck! Glossaryck!
	Glossaryck is going through Star's belongings. When he turns to face her, he is wearing a tam o' shanter and gold loop earrings and holding a gold pocketwatch and goblet.
Glossaryck	What?!
Star	[closes her diary] What are you doing?!
Glossaryck	Uh, shopping for antiques.
Star	No, you're not! This stuff is mine! This is my secrets closet! You don't get to shop in here!
Glossaryck	Ohhhh. Oh, I get it. You... You think that I'm the only person who takes things out of your closet. [laughs, laughs harder]
Star	What are you talking about?
Glosaryck	[laughing, wipes away tears]
Star	[gasps]
	Next to Glossaryck is the box where Star keeps the fragment of the Book of Spells.
Star	Oh, no!
	Star picks up and opens the box. It's empty.
Star	The book piece is missing! Who would need—? [gasps] Eclipsa!
	Scene cuts to a dark, underground corridor. Eclipsa, dressed in a maroon and pink dress, descends a staircase holding a gift-wrapped box and using the Royal Magic Wand like a light source. When she reaches the bottom of the stairs, she climbs into a boat labeled "Queen's Folly" and rows down the stream into the cavern. Something large swims past under the water, making waves and causing the boat to shake.
Eclipsa Butterfly	[gasps]
	Eclipsa uses the wand to light several torches in the cavern. Bubbles bubble on the surface of the water behind the boat, and a giant monster wearing a sweater vest rises up: Globgor.
Globgor	[laughs]
Eclipsa	Oh, you.
Globgor	What took you so long?
Eclipsa	I had to find the perfect box for your gift.
Globgor	Oh, no, no, wait. I'm taking you to a secret place.
	Eclipsa and Globgor kiss, and Eclipsa's hat falls off. Globgor pushes Eclipsa's boat through the cavern. As the cavern gets smaller, Globgor scrapes against the ceiling, causing rocks to fall.
Eclipsa	Globgor, dear.
Globgor	Oh! Yeah, of course.
	Globgor jumps into the air as his body shrinks, landing on the boat upon being small enough to stand on it. When he lands on the boat, Eclipsa bounces into his arms.
Eclipsa	Whoop!
Globgor	Oh, I like your earrings.
Eclipsa	Thank you. They're new.
	Outside the cavern, Eclipsa and Globgor row the boat down the stream near the undestroyed Butterfly Castle.
Globgor	Wow. It's so peaceful out today.
Eclipsa	I know.
Glogor	No unsuspecting fishermen. No beefy loggers. I don't even hear any miners. Too bad. I used to get so many rubies stuck in my teeth. If I'd kept eating those miners, I'd be rich! [laughing]
Eclipsa	[looks disapprovingly]
Globgor	It's a joke, it's a joke! 'Cause I'd never eat another Mewman. Even if it made me rich! [laughs]
Eclipsa	Uh, that was a terrible joke. But you are a very good vegetarian.
Globgor	Yeah, well, it took me a while to get the hang of it.
Eclipsa	You thought leeks were the same as leeches.
Globgor	I mean, they still sound the same. I mean, leeks, leech. Leeks, leech. You know?
Eclipsa	And you thought potatoes were a type of rock!
Globgor	It's a miracle you said yes to a second date.
Eclipsa	Well, by then, I'd made up my mind anyway.
	Eclipsa and Globgor's boat reaches the shore. Globgor gets out first and offers Eclipsa a hand out of the boat.
Globgor	Milady.
Eclipsa	Don't call me that. Can we do the shoulder thing?
	Globgor puts Eclipsa on his shoulder and grows to enormous size.
Eclipsa	Whoaaa!
	When Globgor stops growing, Eclipsa goes flying upward and slowly drops down with her parasol.
Eclipsa	Wheeeee! [laughs]
Globgor	[shrinks back down to Eclipsa's size]
Eclipsa	So exhilarating!
Globgor	Okay, my turn!
Eclipsa	Oh, all right.
Eclipsa and Globgor	One... two... three!
	While holding onto Eclipsa's hands, Globgor shrinks down to very small size, and Eclipsa places him on her shoulder. She reopens her parasol and goes floating around Mewni.
Globgor	Yeah! Whoo!
	After passing under a waterfall, Eclipsa picks up her bone guitar from inside a patch of tall grass.
Globgor	[gasps] How'd you know that was there?
Eclipsa	I have some surprises, too.
	Eclipsa lands on a hollow tree trunk, and Globgor returns to normal size next to her. She starts strumming her guitar.
Eclipsa	[singing] ♪ When the sun has set ♪ ♪ And the night has come ♪ ♪ We'll creep out the garden ♪ ♪ And go have some fun ♪
	Eclipsa and Globgor walk through the woods while Eclipsa sings and plays guitar.
Eclipsa	♪ 'Cause all I wanna do ♪ ♪ Is sneak around Mewni with you ♪
Eclipsa and Globgor	♪ And all I want to see ♪ ♪ Is you sneaking around next to me ♪
	As they walk, Globgor slowly grows, and Eclipsa steps onto his open palms.
Eclipsa	♪ I don't care if it's wrong or right ♪
Eclipsa and Globgor	♪ I'd do anything for one more night ♪
Eclipsa	♪ Dawn breaks, our night fades away ♪ ♪ Someday we'll get to stay ♪
Globgor	♪ We'll get to stay ♪
Eclipsa	♪ No more sneaking around ♪ ♪ One day we'll ♪
Eclipsa and Globgor	♪ Have our day ♪
Globgor	♪ We'll have our day ♪ [slowly shrinks to normal size]
Eclipsa	♪ Have our day ♪
Eclipsa and Globgor	♪ Have our day ♪
	Globgor leads Eclipsa to an open field of grass and flowers while covering her eyes.
Globgor	I hope you like our spot. Made it extra special today. Ta-da!
	The field is empty.
Globgor	Wait. Where is everything? I had a picnic basket and a lawn blanket. I made salads and lemonade! Who... Who would've done this? I bet it was those miners. Greedy little buggers! [voice distorts] They took our picnic for themselves!
Eclipsa	Um, dear, you might want to...
	Now giant-sized, Globgor stomps toward the nearby mountain and looks into the mine inside.
Globgor	[growls] How's the salad, you little thieves?! [pounds on the mountain] Knock, knock! I know you're in there! Come out! [reaches his arm into the mine] Ah! Gotcha!
	Globgor clenches something between his hands.
Eclipsa	Oh, dear.
Globgor	[grunting]
	Globgor reveals the thing in his hands is a ruby.
Globgor	Ha! You thought it was a miner, huh? Get it?! It's a joke! 'Cause I'd never do that! Anymore!
Eclipsa	[short laugh] Oh, Globby. You might want to tone down your jokes.
	Globgor walks back to Eclipsa and shrinks down to his normal size. The ruby is now very large for both of them.
Eclipsa	It's beautiful.
Globgor	Yeah... Too bad it's not real.
Eclipsa	How long have you known?
Globgor	Well... I mean, this place is usually crawling with Mewmans. Where are the Mewmans? And then there's... that.
	Globgor points at a whale floating in the air. The whale has muscular arms, is wearing a banana on its head, and is holding a sword.
	[heroic fanfare]
Eclipsa	What... is it?
Globgor	That's Bananahat Musclewhale.
Eclipsa	I'm afraid I don't know who that is.
Globgor	Bananahat Musclewhale was the last crusader against the evil tyranny of Lord Rygax, wizard overlord of the kingdom.
	An evil wizard figure holding a staff appears at the top of a small stone castle.
Lord Rygax	[laughing evilly]
Eclipsa	Lord Rygax?
Globgor	Yeah, but listen. Bananahat Musclewhale was unprepared for the enchanted skaddlings that Rygax mind-controlled to do his bidding. And Bananahat fell to their awesome powers, leaving Lord Rygax to run the kingdom into darkness... forever.
Eclipsa	I missed this part of Mewni history.
Globgor	This isn't Mewni history. It's from my mind! I created Bananahat when I was a little boy.
Eclipsa	Oh. Makes sense.
Globgor	Wait. Are we in my mind? Right now?
Eclipsa	...Yes.
Globgor	Ohhhh! That's creepy, boo!
Eclipsa	I thought you'd be happy to see me.
Globgor	Well, I am. But I don't want to be in my mind! I mean, where's my body?
Eclipsa	Your body is still trapped inside of one of Rhombulus' crystals.
Globgor	Bummer. Then where are you?
Eclipsa	Well, I'm free, basically.
Globgor	So how'd you get in here?
Eclipsa	I used a spell.
Globgor	And, uh, Meteora?
Eclipsa	She's wonderful! She has my eyes and your beautiful fangs. And she just learned how to crawl on the ceiling!
Globgor	That's adorable.
Eclipsa	It's less adorable when she vomits from up there.
Globgor	That's my girl! I wish I could see her.
Eclipsa	You can.
Globgor	What do you mean?
Eclipsa	[squeals, picks up the gift-wrapped box] My mother created a spell that'll break your crystal, and I've done all of the steps except for the last.
	Eclipsa opens the gift box to reveal a rooster with a ribbon tied around its beak.
Eclipsa	All that's left is for me to pull the ribbon from the beak of this rooster to make it crow. Then you'll be set free.
Globgor	You're so weird.
Eclipsa	Are you ready to see your daughter?
Globgor	[sighs] Of course! But I don't know. I mean, don't the Mewmans still hate me?
Eclipsa	You're... controversial.
Globgor	Even if the people let me come back, they'd just be waiting for me to mess up. And maybe I'm still not over what happened. Maybe I'd prove them right somehow.
Eclipsa	I want you with us.
Globgor	Can you tell me without a doubt that the kingdom is ready for me?
Eclipsa	[sighs] I don't know.
Globgor	When the kingdom is ready, you'll know. Then maybe I'll be ready, too?
Eclipsa	[tearing up] I hate it when you're right.
	Globgor and Eclipsa kiss. Scene shifts to Globgor's crystal chamber at the Monster Temple; Eclipsa is floating in midair as her consciousness is projected into Globgor's mind. Tears trickle down her cheeks. When the mind-sharing spell wears off, she floats to the floor and puts down the rooster.
Eclipsa	[sighs]
Star	(o.s.) So...
Eclipsa	[gasps]
	Star appears behind Eclipsa. The Book of Spells is being repaired on a pedestal next to her.
Star	...Looks like the book is back. Oh! You got Glossaryck's silkworms sliming it back together! And what do you know? It's turned to that Crystal Pulverizing Spell.
Eclipsa	Star, I can explain—
Star	So when's he coming out?
Eclipsa	He's not. He's not ready. The kingdom isn't ready.
Star	Yeah, no doi! You stole that piece of the book from my closet.
Eclipsa	Yes...
Star	[sighs] How did you even know it was there?
Eclipsa	I may have gone inside your mind.
Star	That is... [shivers] so creepy, Eclipsa.
Eclipsa	Yes, people keep saying that. Is there any way you can forgive me?
Star	Are you seriously worried about what I think? Eclipsa, why don't you ever worry about what your people think?
Eclipsa	My people? They haven't even given me a proper coronation.
Star	That's your excuse? Okay, fine. I'll give you a coronation.
Eclipsa	What?
Star	Yup, that's right. Then they'll have to accept you, and you will have to lead them. Maybe then you'll think twice before you get up to all this witchy stuff again.
Eclipsa	[sighs] Yes, I suppose you're right.
Star	I know what it's like to miss someone when... when you love them. You do crazy things. All right! Glad we had this talk. [groans, walks away]
	Eclipsa looks at Globgor's frozen body. The rooster passes by the screen. Cut to black.
	(end song)