The Other Exchange Student/Transcript

	Episode begins at Diaz Household. Star comes down the stairs after waking up.
Star	[yawns]
Diaz family	Surprise!
	Marco, Mr. Diaz, and Mrs. Diaz wear party hats and stand under a banner that reads "Happy 47th Day on Earth, Star". The laser puppies are scattered around their feet.
Diaz family	Happy 47th day on Earth, Star!
Laser puppies	[yipping]
Star	[squeals] A party? For me? I can't believe it!
Marco	You can't? We've done this every day since you got here.
Mr. Diaz	Here, Star. I made you a cake.
	Mr. Diaz holds out a cake with Star's face drawn on it.
Mrs. Diaz	And I wrote you a poem. Our lives were so small and puny 'til this angel arrived from Mewni.
	Star gets teary-eyed at Mrs. Diaz's poem while Marco looks weirded out. The doorbell rings.
Marco	Ah, thank goodness.
	Marco removes his party hat and answers the front door. Gustav appears.
Gustav	[with Scandinavian accent] Hello! It is I, Gustav!
Marco	No way!
Gustav	[laughing] Marco! My American friend!
	Marco and Gustav do an elaborate secret handshake ending in a double high-five.
Marco	Look who's here!
Mr. Diaz	[gasp] How wonderful!
Mrs. Diaz	What a wonderful surprise!
	Before Star can have a slice of cake, Mr. and Mrs. Diaz pull away to greet and hug Gustav.
Mrs. Diaz	We've missed you so much!
Star	Um... hi.
Gustav	Oh, hello. I am Gustav. I was the Diazes' exchange student last year.
Star	What?! But I thought I was your one and only foreign exchange student.
Marco	Not even close. I mean, who did you think all these kids were? [chuckling]
	Camera zooms out to show a wall of photos of the Diazes' past foreign exchange students. Photos depict 15 different boys and girls, a robot, and a llama.
Star	Hmm...
Gustav	I brought gifts from Scandinavia! For Mrs. D, a pair of clogs.
Mrs. Diaz	Ooh!
Gustav	For Marco, the handheld game Lederhosen Tycoon.
Mr. Diaz	[clapping excitedly]
Gustav	And for Mr. Diaz, a genuine Viking helmet.
Mr. Diaz	[gasps]
	Mr. Diaz removes his party hat, puts on the Viking helmet, and drives the horns into a wall.
Gustav	[to Star] And for you... nothing! I did not know you existed! Ha-ha!
Star	Oh.
Gustav	Oh! Mrs. D, you've gotten so thin. I need to fatten you up.
Mr. Diaz	[laughing]
Mrs. Diaz	Gustav. [laughing]
Gustav	Come, everyone, and I will cook you my meatballs.
Marco	Oh, Gustav!
	Gustav leads the Diazes into the kitchen, leaving Star behind. Star's balloon deflates, and she looks annoyed. Cut to kitchen interior; Gustav stirs a bowl of meat.
Gustav	The Scandinavian monsoons were over, but the danger had just begun.
	Fade to shot of a baby polar bear on a sinking iceberg.
Gustav	(v.o.) The iceberg was sinking. Heedless of my own peril, I disrobed. I dove into the freezing fjord and I carried Yuri back to his mother!
	Gustav rips off his clothes, dives into the water, and carries the baby polar bear in his teeth. The next shot is of a mother polar bear reuniting with her cub and tearfully hugging Gustav.
Mother polar bear	[roars]
	Cut back to Diaz Household.
Mr. Diaz	[gasps] Ooh.
Mrs. Diaz	Oh.
Marco	Whoa.
Star	[chewing meatballs] Meh.
Gustav	Marco, think fast!
	Gustav flings a meatball at Marco. Marco catches it in his mouth.
Marco	[noisily eating meatballs]
Star	So, uh, Gustav, where exactly are you from?
Gustav	[narrows eyes] How much do you know about Europe?
Star	I know it's a place. I'm pretty sure.
Gustav	Ohhh, well, then. I come from the country of Scandinavia. It is a land where Vikings teach gym class and everyone has a pet penguin, even if you don't like penguins. Oop, too bad, here's your penguin.
Marco	(o.s.) Hey, Gustav, I'm open. Meatball me!
	Gustav flings another meatball at Marco, and he catches it in his mouth.
Mr. Diaz	Ooh, now me, Gustav. Now me! [laughs]
	Gustav flings two meatballs at Mr. Diaz, and he catches them on his helmet horns.
Mr. Diaz	[laughing]
Marco	[with mouth full] Whoo!
Star	Are you sure those are cooked?
	Gustav plays hacky sack with the meatballs as the Diazes catch them in their mouths.
Mrs. Diaz	Over here!
	Star looks weirded out.
Marco	[in tears] Just think – three more weeks of this!
	Star continues to look weirded out. Fade to black. Fade in on next morning; Star comes down the stairs again.
Star	[yawns]
Diaz family	Surprise!
Star	Aah! A party for me—!
	Marco and his parents wear party hats and stand under a banner that reads "Happy 2nd Day of Your Visit, Gustav!" with the laser puppies scattered around their feet.
Diaz family	Happy second day of your visit, Gustav!
	Gustav comes down the stairs behind Star.
Gustav	Oh, Diaz family. You are so full of pleasantness.
Diaz family	[chanting] Gustav, Gustav, Gustav, Gustav! [laughing]
	Star, annoyed, sits down on the couch. Gustav's bag falls onto the floor.
Star	Huh?
	Inside Gustav's bag are a map and the books Scandinavian for Doofuses and Customs of Scandinavia. Star picks up the Scandinavian for Doofuses book.
Star	Whaaat?
	Gustav grabs the book away from Star and gives her a slice of cake.
Gustav	Oh, look at you. Such a curious girl. [whispering menacingly] Now, eat your cake and mind your own business!
Star	Okay...?
Gustav	[smiling again] More cake for everyone!
	Star pulls Marco on-screen.
Star	Marco, listen. I think there's something off about Gustav. I found Scandinavian books and language tapes in his bag. Why would someone need to learn his own language?
Marco	Uh...
Star	Why is he always making meatballs? Meatballs aren't so great. I can make things too!
	Star uses her magic wand to make a spider in a top hat. It crawls away behind Marco.
Marco	Uh, jealous much?
Gustav	Hey, Marco! Think fast!
	Gustav flings another meatball at Marco, and he catches it in his mouth.
Marco	[with mouth full] I hope he never leaves!
Mrs. Diaz	[laughing] Oh, no, thank you.
	Gustav shoves a whole slice of cake in Mrs. Diaz's mouth while looking at Star menacingly.
Mrs. Diaz	[with mouth full] Oh! That's a very big bite.
Star	[shuddering]
	Fade to montage of Star secretly observing Gustav. In the first scene, Star takes a picture of Gustav making a secret phone call. In the next scene, Star sees Gustav in the garage packing an axe in his bag. Star puts her photos up on her bedroom wall. In the next scene, Star watches Gustav from a tree as he makes dozens of meatballs. Camera zooms out to show Buff Frog spying on Star in the same tree, and they catch each other.
Star and Buff Frog	Huh?
	Star, slowly looking crazier, sticks pieces of paper to her bedroom wall. In the next scene, Star spies on Gustav as he takes Mr. and Mrs. Diaz's measurements in their sleep. Star puts more and more photos on her wall, almost obscuring the screen. Fade to several days later; Marco approaches Star's bedroom door.
Marco	Oh, Star. We're about to—
	Star's bedroom door opens, and Star pulls Marco inside.
Marco	Whaa!
	Star pins Marco to the wall. Marco sees photos of Gustav on the wall with red string strewn about, and Star looks crazier than ever.
Star	[breathing heavily]
Marco	What's going on?!
Star	I've been awake for days spying on Gustav, and I'm this close to figuring out what he's plotting!
Marco	What?!
Star	His stories don't add up, Marco! Penguins? Icebergs? Polar bears?! What the heck is a polar bear?! And he's making phone calls, Marco. Phone calls! He's up to something terrible!
Marco	...You have lost your mind. But if you find it, we're meeting Gustav for a picnic at Isolation Point, where no one can hear you scream... with enjoyment!
	Marco leaves the room. Star looks her wall and thinks. Visions of Gustav and the Diazes drift over her head.
Gustav	Oh, Mrs. D, you've gotten so thin.
Diaz family	[chanting] Gustav, Gustav, Gustav, Gustav!
Gustav	Now, eat your cake and mind your own business! Meatballs, meatballs, meatballs.
Marco	Isolation Point.
Gustav	Here is your penguin. I need to fatten you up.
	Star imagines the Diazes turning into meatballs, inflating, and popping.
Star	[screams] Gustav's not taking them on a picnic! They are the picnic!
	Star hears an car engine start outside. She looks out the window and sees the Diazes drive away in their minivan.
Star	[whimpers] Wait!
	She runs to the front porch and sees the minivan drive away.
Star	Bunny Rabbit Blast!
	Star rockets toward the car with a blast of bunnies. She lands on the roof of the car and secures herself with a magic seatbelt. She hangs over the side and pounds on the window.
Star	[muffled] You're all going to die!
Diaz family	[singing, to the tune of "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain"] Oh, we're gonna eat some meatballs in the woods Yeah, we're gonna eat some meatballs in the woods (in the woods) Yeah, we're gonna eat some meatballs, yeah, we're gonna eat some meatballs...
	The minivan drives toward a wooded cliff.
Star	[gasps]
	Star sees a sign in the road that reads "ISOLATION PT." and points right. She blasts the sign with magic to make it point left. As the minivan makes a left turn, Star jumps off and continues right toward Isolation Point. Thunder rumbles. Gustav is seen preparing a campfire. Star sneaks up on him through the bushes. Gustav takes out the axe. Thunder strikes.
Star	[gasps, jumps out] I knew you were up to no good, meatball boy!
Gustav	[screams]
	Gustav drops the axe and runs away. Star chases him.
Star	Get back here!
	Star chases Gustav through the woods.
Gustav.	[panting]
Star	Dagger Heart Blast! Glowworm Blast! Narwhal Blast!
	Star fires upon Gustav with dagger hearts, glowworms, and narwhals. Gustav dodges them all and keeps running. Gustav runs across a rope bridge and cuts the ropes with a pocketknife. The bridge collapses.
Gustav	[laughing]
Star	(o.s.) Glitter Dragon Escalation!
	Camera pans over Gustav as something rises higher than him.
Gustav	[gasps]
	Gustav looks up at a magic dragon created from the fallen rope bridge.
Star	Give it up, Gustav!
Gustav	[screams]
	Star's glitter dragon chomps the ground near Gustav and explodes.
Gustav	Whoa!
	Splintered pieces of wood fly everywhere. Star walks up to Gustav and points her wand at him.
Star	It's over, Gustav! I know you aren't who you say you are.
Gustav	[crying] It's true! I'm full of lies!
Star	So, you admit you're planning to eat the Diazes?!
Gustav	Yes, yes! ...Wait, what? No, I don't want to eat them!
Star	But you said...
Charlie Booth	[without accent] I mean, I'm not from Scandinavia. Truth is my name is Charlie Booth, and I'm just a guy from Bakersfieldville.
	Cut to shot of Bakersfieldville. It's raining, and people and their pets look perpetually depressed.
Charlie	(v.o.) Nobody's heard of it.
People	[sighs]
Animals	[sighs]
Charlie	(v.o.) Back home, I'm just another boring face in a really boring crowd.
	Cut back to Star and Charlie at Isolation Point.
Charlie	It's not a good place for a talented guy like me.
Star	But what about the phone calls? And the axe? And those meatballs?!
Charlie	Well...
	Flashback to Charlie making secret phone calls in a closet.
Charlie	(v.o.) The phone calls were to my meat guy, but he wouldn't pick up.
Meat guy	I'm the meat guy, leave a message.
Charlie	Bro, it's me. Come on, man, I need the meeeaaat.
Charlie	(v.o.) The axe was to cut firewood for today's feast. As for the meatballs, my dream is to become a chef and open a restaurant in Bakersfieldville that uses spices and flavors!
	Fantasy shot of Charlie rising above the clouds and sprinkling herbs and spices on the people of Bakersfieldville.
People	Yay!
Charlie	(v.o.) So that's why I ran away and moved in with the Diazes.
	Cut back to Star and Charlie at Isolation Point.
Star	But what about measuring the Diazes in their sleep?
Charlie	Uhhhhh...
	A car horn honks, and the Diazes arrive in their minivan.
Mr. Diaz	[gasps] Star?! What a pleasant surprise!
Mrs. Diaz	You made it!
Star	Yeah, I did. And I came here to tell you something about Gustav.
Charlie	[gasps, laughs nervously]
	The Diazes all give big smiles. Star's expression softens.
Charlie	[gulps]
Star	He's made you even more meatballs!
Mrs. Diaz	Yay!
Mr. Diaz	Fantastic!
Marco	Woo-hoo!
Mr. Diaz	Oh, meatballs!
Mrs. Diaz	Let me at those meatballs!
	The Diazes run toward the campfire.
Charlie	Phew. Thanks for not blowing my cover, Star. If there's ever anything I can do for you...
Star	Well, as a matter of fact, Charlie, there is.
	Smash cut to Diaz Household exterior. Charlie is leaving, and the Diazes see him off.
Star	Bye! Bye-bye, Gustav! Bye!
Diaz family	[various goodbyes]
	As Gustav leaves, he walks in the middle of the road, and two cars screech to a stop before they run him over.
Motorist	Hey, get off the road!
Marco	See you next year, Gustav!
Star	Or not! You never know! Bye now!
	Star and Marco go inside the house and close the door.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz	Surprise!
	Mr. and Mrs. Diaz stand under a banner that reads "Happy 51st Day on Earth, Star" while holding up a cake.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz	Happy 51st day on Earth, Star.
Laser puppies	[yipping]
Star	Aah! A party for me?!
Mr. Diaz	Who wants cake?
	Mr. Diaz gives Star two slices of cake. She gives one to Marco.
Star	I'm sorry your favorite exchange student had to leave so soon.
Marco	You kidding? You're my favorite.
Star	Aww...
Marco	I will miss seeing him, though. That guy is just so... real.
	At another house, the doorbell rings. The owner of the house answers to see Charlie Booth disguised as a French foreign exchange student.
Francois	Bonjour!
Host family	Francois!
Host father	Hey, what a great surprise!
Francois	I brought ze baguettes for everyone!
Host father	Aww.
	Charlie's other host family hugs him. He follows them into the house, looks around suspiciously, and closes the door.