The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse/Transcript

	Episode begins where "Pizza Party" left off. Star, Marco, Moon, Eclipsa, Meteora, and Hekapoo are standing in the middle of a muddy forest in the rain. Thunder cracks in the sky.
Hekapoo	Soooo... I'm not hearing a "thank you". I mean, I just saved your life!
Marco Diaz	Hekapoo, we were kinda in the middle of something.
Hekapoo	In the middle of dying! But hey, I took you somewhere that will solve all that business.
	Hekapoo knocks on a tree trunk. A doorway and a stoic-looking bouncer rises out of the mud.
Hekapoo	Welcome to the Tavern at the End of the Multiverse!
	The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse's neon sign blinks on and off.
Hekapoo	[opens tavern door] Now come on, are you just gonna stand out there in the rain?
	Marco and Eclipsa look at Star.
Hekapoo	[to bouncer] They're with me.
	Hekapoo, Star, Marco, Eclipsa, and Meteora enter the tavern.
Hekapoo	Hey, Moonie, are you coming in?
	Moon is staring down at the ground. She lifts up her gaze and walks toward the tavern entrance.
Hekapoo	Come on, you're gonna love this place.
	Moon enters the tavern, and the entrance closes. The bouncer closes off the entrance with a velvet rope and takes a deep breath. He and the tavern entrance lower back down into the mud. Scene cuts to tavern interior; Hekapoo leads the others through an elevator-like door.
Hekapoo	Welcome to the furthest possible place away from all your problems. This quaint watering hole sits at the end of reality and at the start of complete nonexistence.
	The far right end of the tavern is a black void.
Tavern Patron	Hear, hear! Oh! [gets sucked into the void]
Dog Patron	[growls at Moon and Eclipsa]
Eclipsa Butterfly	I'm getting a vibe that we're not welcome here.
Hekapoo	[sits on couch] Most of these people left their dimensions to get away from magical issues or power-hungry rulers. You check both boxes.
Star Butterfly	What?! This doesn't solve any of our problems!
Hekapoo	Yeah, it does! We got a sweet place to hang out as Mewni gets destroyed.
Eclipsa	Hekapoo, give me the scissors.
Moon Butterfly	Wait, what are you doing?
Eclipsa	Globgor needs my help.
Moon	Yes, but it's too dangerous.
Star	Yeah, it's too dangerous because of YOU!
Hekapoo	Well, y'all are buzzkills. I'm gonna go make the best of this mess.
Moon	Star, let's just take a seat and talk about this.
Star	What is there to talk about exactly? We can't go back to Mewni because we'll die from a situation that YOU caused! So just stay far away from me! Or better yet, stand over there where you don't exist!
	Star walks away from Moon, and Moon's eyes start to water.
Pool-Playing Dog	[laughs] Was that your daughter? Talking to you like that? I could never talk to my mom like that, I tell ya.
	Eclipsa grabs the pool-playing dog's pool cue.
Eclipsa	That's it! You're done! All done! Game over!
Pool-Playing Dog	Oh, hey, hey! Hey, let go! That's my pool cue!
Eclipsa and Pool-Playing Dog	[straining]
	Eclipsa pulls the pool cue away and falls over backward, crashing off-screen.
Eclipsa	So, what do you say, Moon? You wanna get in a quick game of pool?
Moon	How can you even think about that at a time like this?
Eclipsa	[chalking pool cue] My whole entire life has been a time like this, Moon. You learn to enjoy these moments.
Pool-Playing Dog	That's my pool cue.
Eclipsa	You should smile more.
Pool-Playing Dog	I don't know what that means. [walks away]
Eclipsa	You know, I never got a chance to thank you.
Moon	Oh, yeah, I put the entire kingdom in jeopardy and destroyed both of our families. You're welcome.
Eclipsa	No, I mean thank you for freeing my husband.
Meteora	[coos, rolls cue ball into yellow 9 ball]
Eclipsa	I can only assume it was you who asked Rhombulus to release Globgor at my coronation.
	Scene cuts to flashback. A hooded Moon walks through the rainy Crystal Dimension toward Rhombulus' house. Rhombulus opens the door to greet Moon and lets her inside. Scene cuts back to the tavern in present-day. Eclipsa gives the pool cue to Moon.
Eclipsa	Your turn!
Meteora	[cooing]
	Moon takes the pool cue from Eclipsa, and Eclipsa walks away. Scene cuts to the Monster Temple on Mewni; Mina Loveberry and the Solarian Army have gathered all the monsters of Mewni at the edge of a cliff over the ocean.
Mina Loveberry	Monsters of Mewni! For too long, you've plagued our lands with your monster treachery! [helmet visor raises] Wait. This doesn't feel right. [sighs] It's just not the same without the King of Monsters. All right, new plan, new plan. We find Globgor, then we push these freaks off the cliff.
	Mina points her armored finger at Katrina Bulgolyubov. Buff Frog pulls Katrina in close.
Buff Frog	Don't worry, my babies. Everything will be okay.
	Mina flies toward the Monster Temple. Inside the Temple, Kelly, Pony Head, Seahorse, Rich Pigeon, Janna, Quirky Guy, Talon Raventalon, and Jorby feel the temple shake.
Janna Ordonia	Jeez, I am surprised they haven't found us yet.
Quirky Guy	[groaning] Can you check on my Devil's Mark?
Janna	What's a Devil's Mark?
	Quirky Guy lifts up his shirt. His Solarian Scar has progressed so much that he has a bright white hole in the center of his stomach.
Quirky	D-Does it still look cool?
Janna	Mm, yeah, looks pretty cool.
Quirky	Y-You know, it's funny. I feel like I spent my entire life trying to be cool, but I only got as far as "quirky".
Janna	I know what you mean. I think quirky is cool.
Quirky	Really?
	Quirky's scar glows brighter and brighter.
Janna	Whoa, dude. Dude, dude, dude!
Quirky	Cool...
	Quirky's body explodes in a flash of light, leaving a black burn mark on the bed he was lying on.
Janna	[screams]
All	[screaming]
Pony Head	Oh my goodness! We're all gonna die!
	Scene cuts to the middle of the forest. River and Eddie are carrying Globgor on a stretcher made of sticks and leaves. Globgor's Solarian Scar has progressed to the point of covering almost the entire right side of his body.
Globgor	[groaning]
Eddie	River! Globby's boo-boos are getting bigger!
River Butterfly	We just need to get him to the Magic Sanctuary!
Eddie	But what if we don't get him there in time?
River	The man is a father! He'll make it in time!
	Scene cuts back to the tavern. Star is sitting by herself and hugging her legs. Marco walks over holding a glass of pomegranate juice.
Marco	Hey, hey, hey there, buddy. You... You doin' okay?
Star	[groans, turns away from Marco]
Marco	Uh, Hekapoo said this place has the best pomegranate juice in the multiverse. [slurps, sighs] You wanna try?
Star	[groans] I hate magic. [gets up and walks away]
Marco	W-What?
Star	You were right, Marco! Magic's just... Ugh! I don't even know what it is! I hate magic!
Marco	[slurps]
Star	I mean, my "wise, royal family" keeps "solving situations" with the stuff, but – oops – we just cause more problems!
Slug Patron	This universe would be better without it!
Star	That's right! Magic's the worst, and the people that use it are idiots!
All	Yeah!
Star	No more magic. No more Butterflys. All we need is me and you.
Marco	But magic's what brought us together.
Mouse Waiter	Milady, a patron sent these over for you.
	The mouse waiter presents Star with a pair of chocolate pudding cups.
Star	Pudding? [groans]
	Glossaryck is seen sitting at the bar with a pudding cup next to him. He looks back at Star and winks at her.
Glossaryck	[laughs] Hey there, sport. Long time no see.
Star	I need a word with you.
Glossaryck	Uh, okay—
	Star grabs the top and bottom of Glossaryck's right eye and stretches his eyeball.
Glossaryck	[screams]
	Star jumps inside Glossaryck's eyeball and wriggles her way inside.
Moon	We have to do something. I can't just be stuck in here and play pool.
Eclipsa	Well, you created those Solarian Warriors. Don't they have some kind of weakness or something?
	Scene cuts to another flashback. Moon uses her magic to transform Mewmans into Solarian Warriors. Mina watches with a smile.
Eclipsa	(o.s.) Moon?
	Scene cuts back to the tavern in present-day.
Eclipsa	Moon?
Moon	Uh...
Eclipsa	Do the Solarian Warriors have a weakness or what?
Moon	Uh, no. Not that I know of.
Eclipsa	Look, the way I see it, we have three options. One – we stay here. Two – you give me my wand, and I go back to Mewni and blast those warriors with my Total Anihilation Spell, probably destroying most of the kingdom as well.
Moon	Hmmm...
Eclipsa	Or three – you go over there, make amends with your daughter, and the three of us go back together to unleash a wicked bunch of nasty business on those warriors! [growls]
Moon	[sighs] Y-You're probably right. But she won't even talk to me.
Eclipsa	Moon, look, it's our only real option. I'm sure... once... [trails off]
Star	(o.s.) [grunting]
	Moon turns around to look at Star.
Moon	Star?
	Star wriggles inside Glossaryck's giant eyeball, and the eyeball disappears with a "pop".
Moon	What was that?
	Star plummets out of the sky in the dimension inside Glossaryck.
Star	[screaming] Whoa! [exclaiming, shrieking] Okay, Glossaryck, that's enough!
	Star falls onto a bed of clouds.
Star	Oof! [panting] Stupid magic eyeball ride! Stupid magic Glossaryck dimension!
Glossaryck Statue	Well, that hurts my feelings.
	An eyeball appears in the Glossaryck's statue's mouth, and the real Glossaryck appears from behind it.
Glossaryck	You barge into my eyeball unannounced and then insult my home? If I knew you were coming, I would've tidied up a bit.
Star	Yup, yup, it's official. I hate magic! I'm... I'm gonna destroy it.
Glossaryck	What? And how are you going to do that?
Star	I could... I could say the Whispering Spell inside the Realm of Magic. [chuckles] Boom! It's the only way to stop Mina.
Glossaryck	Okay, whoa. Calm down. Look, see?
	Glossaryck brings himself and Star into the Tapestry Room of Butterfly Castle.
Glossaryck	It's all gone. It's all gone!
Star	Oh, so now you're gonna just put me in the Grandma Room. Why did he put me in the Grandma Room? ...Glossaryck? Glossaryck, please don't leave me here with my dysfunctional family! [sighs] Okay. [waves to Eclipsa's tapestry] Hi, Eclipsa. [waves to Moon's tapestry] Mother. [points at Celena's tapestry] Hi, Celena. Wait. Where's Celena?
	Celena Butterfly is missing from her tapestry, leaving a glowing yellow vacant space. Star hears whispering behind her. She turns around to see the previous Queens of Mewni – Estrella, Solaria, Crescenta, Dirhhennia, Jushtin, Rhina, Celena, Festivia, and Skywynne – outside their tapestries and gathered together.
Queens	[whispering] Star Butterfly.
	The former Queens all turn to look at Star with blank white eyes. They all step to the side to let Star pass.
Star	It's a grandma reunion.
Queens	[whispering]
Star	Uh, hello.
	Solaria Butterfly glares at Star.
Star	[nervously] Hi...
	Celena Butterfly stares at Star.
Star	What are we all looking at? [gasps]
	Star looks up to see her own tapestry. It depicts her destroying the magic while her parents smile at her and the monsters of Mewni cheer for her.
Star	My tapestry! It's finished! [gasps] Oh, my. I actually destroy the magic? So my temper tantrum was right all along!
	Star looks behind her. The previous Queens of Mewni have vanished and are back in their tapestries.
Star	And they're gone. [looks at her tapestry] Monster Castle is looking good, no Mina, and everyone is safe and happy. Okay, great! Obviously gonna go destroy the magic now! ...Wait. Where's Marco?
	Marco is not present in Star's tapestry.
Star	So... no magic means no Marco?
Glossaryck	Actually, no magic means no Glossaryck. Marco will be fine. The magic will put him back where he belongs.
Star	On Earth. But that's not fair! Plus, that doesn't even make sense! The magic put Marco in the lint catcher at the Mewni castle, and it put me in a shed with Doop-Doop, and my mom on Pie Island!
Glossaryck	Oh, I'm sure it had a really good reason to do that. Your mom makes really good pies.
Star	[pounds on loom] Hey, excuse me! Excuse me! You need to change this! My boyfriend Marco – he is missing in this picture! [tearing up] Can you please just add him in there? Like, maybe holding my hand or... just...?
Glossaryck	Star.
Star	It's just, he... he belongs with me!
Glossaryck	Star!
Star	What?!
Glossaryck	I think the tapestry is done.
Star	[sighs, sniffles, wipes away tears, sighs] So I have to destroy the magic. I guess this means Toffee was right.
	Star looks at Moon's tapestry. The Toffee depicted in the tapestry turns his head to look and grin at Star.
Toffee	Surprise!
Star	[gasps]
	Scene cuts back to the tavern. Glossaryck's eyeball appears, and Star drops out of it.
Star	Gah! Doh! [gasps]
Marco	Star! Jeez, we were kinda getting worried about you.
Star	[panting]
Marco	Did you, uh, you figure anything out in there?
Star	[sighs] ...I'm gonna destroy the magic.
	(end song)