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(theme song)
Episode begins at Eclipsa's Monster Temple. In Globgor's chamber, a banner over his crystallized body reads "Queen's Monster Breakfast". At the table under the banner, Star and Marco each have a plate of pancakes, and Manfred brings Eclipsa a bowl of oatmeal.
Manfred Your oatmeal, my Queen. Raw and soaked, just how you like it.
Marco Diaz It's really cool that you're having this, uh, Queen's Monster Breakfast.
Eclipsa Butterfly I want the monsters to feel comfortable at the Queen's table.
Star Butterfly [mouth full of pancakes] Yeah! Just, uh, where are the monsters?
Star, Marco, and Eclipsa are the only ones at the table; all the other seats are empty.
Eclipsa Huh. Manfred! Come here!
Manfred Yes, milady?
Eclipsa Manfred, did you forget to invite the monsters?
Manfred No, of course not, milady. The monsters are right here.
Three monsters sit at the foot of the table eating breakfast out of dog bowls.
Manfred (o.s.) In their proper place.
Eclipsa What?! Why are they eating out of dog bowls?!
Manfred Oh. Do they not normally, milady?
Eclipsa Take their food back to the kitchen, and put it on proper plates! Oh, and take mine, while you're at it. I'll eat when everybody else has their food.
Manfred Yes, my Queen. [takes Eclipsa's oatmeal and walks away]
Marco Oh. I guess we'll wait, too.
Cut to temple kitchen; Manfred enters with Eclipsa and the monsters' breakfasts.
Manfred Ugh! Apparently, the Queen would like the monsters to eat from the royal china.
Sous Chef Yes, my lord.
Manfred Well, wouldn't we all like to eat from the royal china? Heh.
Manfred sticks his tongue in Eclipsa's oatmeal. When his tongue touches one of the berries in the oatmeal, his body turns gray and solid.
Sous Chef [screams]
Star, Marco, Eclipsa [gasp]
Star, Marco, and Eclipsa run into the kitchen and find Manfred a stone statue.
Marco [exclaims]
Star, Marco, Eclipsa [gasp]
Glossaryck [laughs] Oh, looks like someone fed yada yada berries to Manfred. [laughs]
Star Wait. Yada yada berries? What's that?
Glossaryck Yada yada berries? You know. You feed them to someone and... yada yada. They never bother you again. Funny thing about them, though.
Glossaryck bites a yada yada berry, turns to stone, and falls on the floor. Seconds later, he turns back to normal.
Glossaryck They're actually quite delicious once you get past the whole "turning to stone" part. [bites berry, turns to stone, turns back to normal again] So good!
Star But Manfred was eating out of Eclipsa's bowl. I don't understand. Why would somebody want to yada yada you?
Eclipsa This kind of thing comes with the territory when you're queen. You can't let it rule your life, you know?
Star I don't know! But you know what? I plan to find out. Marco and I are about to go on an adventure. We are going to search every filthy back alley, confront every underhanded assassin, and wade through every sewer until we find out who tried to yada yada you! Right, Marco?!
Marco Uh...
Star [pulls Marco out of the kitchen by his hood] That's right!
Eclipsa [walks out of the kitchen]
Glossaryck [turns back to normal] I love these berries!
Scene cuts to a village strip mall, with a monster nail salon and the Assassin's Guild. An inflatable tube man holding a knife and hammer flaps in the wind. Star and Marco walk up to the Assassin's Guild building.
Star Okay, whoever wanted to yada yada Eclipsa definitely went through here.
A Mewman ninja spins around a cardboard arrow that reads "2 FOR 1 SPECIALS".
Marco Well, looks like we got a real mystery on our hands.
Star And we're just crazy enough to take the case.
Guild Receptionist Hello. Welcome to the Assassins Guild. Who would you like to have bumped off today?
In the room near the receptionist's desk, Rasticore is seen washing dishes in a sink.
Star Wait. Rasticore?
Rasticore [sees Star and Marco, whispering] Don't come over, don't come over, don't come over, don't come—
Star Rasticore! It is you! Aren't you lookin'... small?
Rasticore [groans] Regenerating from a single hand has not been easy! Ugh. What do you want?
Star Some information. Do you know anything about a plot to yada yada Eclipsa?
Rasticore Will you leave me alone if I tell you?
Star I might. [makes a Rainbow Fist on her hand]
Rasticore Okay, okay! All I know is this chick Babs didn't show up for work today. Now, get outta here.
Star Babs, ya say? We got a lead! Thanks, little guy! [slaps Rasticore's back]
Rasticore [drops coffee mug in sink water, groans]
Scene cuts to Babs' house, exterior. Star rings the doorbell. A slot in the door opens to reveal a bloodshot and crusty eyeball.
Babs [breathes heavily, moans] What do you want?
Star We're lookin' for Babs.
Babs Who's lookin'?
Star Oh, just a friend of the Queen lookin' for some answers. [gruffly] And I'm gonna get 'em! [charges magic in her hand]
The door slot closes, and several door locks are heard unlatching. The door opens to fully reveal Babs, a short Mewman girl with pinkeye, wearing cat pajamas, and wrapped in a blanket.
Babs [clears throat] I'm Babs. [blows nose] Y'all want some tea?
Scene cuts to interior of Babs' house.
Babs [sipping tea, sighs] Much better.
Star, Marco, and Babs sit around a tea table. The room has several cats, scratching posts, and balls of yarn.
Marco You have a lot of cats. I mean, uh, for an assassin.
Babs Don't worry. They're all friendly.
One-Ear [yowls]
Marco [screams]
A cat with a scar over its right eye and part of its right ear missing bites Marco's arm.
Babs 'Cept Ol' One-Ear.
Marco Got it.
Babs [pours another cup of tea] Would ya like some tea? [coughs into teacup]
Star No, thank you.
Marco [distracted by One-Ear] One, please!
Star Marco, gross!
Marco [sips tea] What?
Star [groans, sighs] Okay. So, Babs, were you or were you not hired to yada yada the Queen this morning?
Babs Uh, yeah. Oh! Wasn't supposed to tell you that. But I didn't do it. I called in sick, 'cause I woke up with pink eye, pneumonia, and a weird rash.
Marco [still sipping tea] Blech!
Star So, who hired you, Babs?!
Babs It was an anonymous client! Just a note and some berries from Apothecary Sherry. [gives note and berry bag to Star] Ohh! I wasn't supposed to tell you that.
Star Apothecary Sherry, huh? Another lead.
Marco [rubbing his tongue, groaning]
Scene cuts to middle of town; Apothecary Sherry pushes her cart of medicines and ointments.
Apothecary Sherry Get your stink bombs, wart remover, hair growth potions, itching powder! Schoolyard bully discount! Anti-itch cream—! Huh?
Star [blocks cart with her foot] Oh, hey, Sherry, how ya doin'? Let's skip the small talk. Got any yada yada berries?!
Sherry [narrows her eyes] You know, kid, those things are dangerous. Shouldn't even be on the market.
Marco [holding $650] So, you, uh, don't sell 'em?
Sherry Hey, I never said that.
Star We're not here to buy. We need to know who did.
Sherry You expect me to just rat out my own patrons? What are ya, crazy? I have a strict confidentiality policy with—
Marco puts the $650 in Sherry's hand.
Sherry Oh! [sniffs money] —valued customers such as yourselves. I only sold it to one guy.
Sherry produces a bill-of-sale paper signed "Ruben".
Star (o.s.) Ruben.
Scene cuts to Ruben's house, exterior. Star knocks on the front door. The door creaks open, and Star and Marco peer inside.
Marco [whispers] Looks like no one's home.
Star Looks that way, doesn't it?
Marco [sighs] Oh, boy, I know what that means.
Star kicks the door in and runs inside.
Star [grunting] Double Rainbow Fist!
With a Rainbow Fist on each of her hands, Star throws a chair at the wall and knocks everything off the fireplace mantle.
Star Narwhal Blast!
Star shoots a narwhal that breaks a bookshelf in half.
Marco [flowerpot shatters on a wall near him] Aah! What are you doing?! Aah! [chair shatters on a wall near him]
Star I'm getting this rat out of his hole! Blueberry Cupcake Bazooka!
Ruben, a chameleon monster, drops his camouflage and appears.
Ruben Okay, okay! Stop destroyin' my house!
Star I knew you were hiding in here!
Marco Whoa. How'd you know he was a chameleon monster?
Star I saw the family portrait.
A family portrait over the fireplace shows two chameleon monsters with only their eyes and mouths visible.
Star All right, Ruben, now tell me about your little visit to Apothecary Sherry today!
Ruben Yeah! I bought the berries to yada yada Eclipsa. She made me eat out of a dog bowl this mornin'!
Star What? Eclipsa made sure you were served on the royal china.
Ruben Too little, too late! I ate my breakfast, then I went to Sherry and bought them berries!
Marco Wait. You bought the berries after breakfast?
Ruben Yeah! And I wasn't the only one! She got enemies left and right!
Star Ugh. We got the wrong guy. Sorry, Ruben. Victimless crime.
Ruben What?! You destroyed my home!
Star Come on, sounds like Sherry was holding out on us.
Scene cuts back to Apothecary Sherry, leaning on her cart and whistling.
Star comes running up and shoves her against the cart.
Star So, you wanna play games, huh?
Sherry Excuse me?
Star [gruffly] You're playin' games, Sherry! And I don't like it!
Sherry Hey, I told you everything I know.
Star Who bought the berries, Sherry?!
Sherry I'm tellin ya, nobody else bought berries.
Star You're playin' those games, Sherry. [charges magic in her fist] And I'm done playing.
Marco Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa. How 'bout you take a break?
Star [gruffly] But I get results... [walks off-screen]
Marco Look, Sherry, we know other people bought berries. Just make it easy on yourself and give us their names.
Sherry I don't know what you're talkin' about.
Marco Then I guess we'll just have to take you back to the Monster Temple for questioning. I'm sure Eclipsa will have some dark spell to jog your memory.
Star Oh-ho, I know she will!
Sherry Oh, you know? I think I'm just gonna stick around here. Thanks. [gulps down cup of juice] Ahhhh. You can tell Eclipsa that she can yada yada my—!
Sherry points at her butt just before she turns to stone.
Star [gasps] Wow. She just self-yada yada'ed.
Marco Shameful.
Star [opens Sherry's receipt box] Hmm, just the one receipt, huh? Maybe there's more.
Star lifts the cover off the receipt box, and a long list of receipts unrolls onto the ground.
Star [exclaims] All the yada yada berry receipts!
Marco Whoa, that's a lot of Mewmans.
Star sees multiple Mewmans walk past the apothecary stand.
Marco We can't lock 'em all up... can we?
Scene cuts to temple interior, dungeon. Dozens of Mewmans and several monsters are chained to the wall or handcuffed.
All [grumbling]
Star [standing on Cloudy] All right, listen up! Everybody in this room bought yada yada berries from Apothecary Sherry, but only one of you put them in Eclipsa's oatmeal this morning. So we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Who was it?
Man Wasn't me.
Star I expected better of Mewmanity. Of all of you. I know underneath it all, you're good people. So one of ya made a mistake. Life's hard in Mewni these days. I get it.
All [murmuring in agreement]
Star It is tough! But you know what we do? As Mewmans, we survive!
All [cheering]
Star And we rebuild!
All Yeah!
Star And we turn in the criminal who tried to poison Eclipsa!
All [silent, one person coughs]
Star Okay, you guys. Look, Eclipsa is not a bad person.
Man 1 Yes, she is! She stole me family's land!
Man 2 Don't even matter who tried to yada yada her! She's gonna off us all anyway!
Star [makes Double Rainbow Fist] Okay, enough! You people are—!
Eclipsa Star. It's okay. I understand why they feel this way. I've upended all their lives quite thoroughly. I am asking you to give me a chance to earn your trust. But I know that takes time, so for now...
Eclipsa uses a bobby pin to unlock a little boy's handcuffs...
Eclipsa You're all free to go.
...and she uses the Royal Magic Wand to unlock everyone else's handcuffs. The imprisoned Mewmans and monsters grumble as they leave the dungeon.
Eclipsa Sorry about all of this.
Man 3 Man, I still don't trust her.
Man 4 Yeah. She's only doin' this to make herself look better.
Eclipsa [sighs]
Star I cannot believe you just did that! Ugh! Eclipsa, people want to yada yada you, and you just let them go? And now, we'll never know what secrets Sherry took with her to the smooth, berry-flavored beyond.
Eclipsa There will always be people who don't like you. If I'd locked up everyone who hated me, there'd be no one left!
Star But... But... But I wanted to crack the case!
Eclipsa Don't worry about it. Manfred will be back to normal. Eventually. No harm, no foul.
Marco [walks on-screen with puffy eye] Uh, not quite. I think Babs gave me pinkeye.
Eclipsa Ewww...
Star Eclipsa, I... I don't think you realize how much the Mewmans hate you.
Eclipsa Oh, I do. That's why I need to earn their trust.
Star But how?
Eclipsa I don't know. But we'll figure something out.
ved Star vs. the Forces of Evil Episode Transcripts
Season 1
Star Comes to EarthParty With a PonyMatch MakerSchool SpiritMonster ArmThe Other Exchange StudentCheer Up, StarQuest BuyDiaz Family VacationBrittney's PartyMewbertyPixtopiaLobster ClawsSleep SpellsBlood Moon BallFortune CookiesFreeze DayRoyal PainSt. Olga's Reform School for Wayward PrincessesMewnipendance DayThe Banagic IncidentInterdimensional Field TripMarco Grows a BeardStorm the Castle
Season 2
My New Wand!Ludo in the WildMr. Candle CaresRed BeltStar on WheelsFetchStar vs. Echo CreekWand to WandStarstruckCamping TripStarsittingOn the JobGoblin DogsBy the BookGame of FlagsGirls' Day OutSleepoverGift of the CardFriendenemiesIs MysteryHungry LarrySpider With a Top HatInto the WandPizza ThingPage TurnerNaysayaBon Bon the Birthday ClownRaid the CaveTrickstarBabyRunning with ScissorsMathmagicThe Bounce LoungeCrystal ClearThe Hard WayHeinousAll Belts are OffCollateral DamageJust FriendsFace the MusicStarcrushed
Season 3
Return to MewniMoon the UndauntedBook Be GoneMarco and the KingPuddle DefenderKing LudoToffeeScent of a HoodieRest in PuddingClub SnubbedStranger DangerDemoncismSophomore SlumpLint CatcherTrial by SquirePrincess TurdinaStarfariSweet DreamsLava Lake BeachDeath PeckPonymoniumNight LifeDeep DiveMonster BashStump DayHoliday SpellcialThe Bogbeast of BoggabahTotal Eclipsa the MoonButterfly TrapLudo, Where Art Thou?Is Another MysteryMarco Jr.Skooled!Booth BuddiesBam Ui Pati!Tough LoveDivideConquer
Season 4
Butterfly FolliesEscape from the Pie FolkMoon RemembersSwim SuitRansomgramLake House FeverYada Yada BerriesDown by the RiverThe Ponyhead Show!Surviving the SpiderbitesOut of BusinessKelly's WorldCurse of the Blood MoonPrincess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic BellGhost of Butterfly CastleCornball!Meteora's LessonThe Knight ShiftQueen-NappedJunkin' JannaA Spell with No NameA Boy and His DC-700XEThe Monster and the QueenCornonationDoop-DoopBritta's TacosBeach DayGone Baby GoneSad Teen HotlineJannanigansMama StarReady, Aim, FireThe Right WayHere to HelpPizza PartyThe Tavern at the End of the MultiverseCleaved
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